103. As Her Body Got Bigger, Her World Got Smaller

This story is about a woman who spent years chasing control, yet felt lost in her own life. Despite a loving upbringing, she struggled with feeling like she was “not enough.” Many of her childhood memories were centered around food, but she was able to maintain a normal weight until college. There, her food addiction took off, and she picked up cigarettes and alcohol. As she kept eating and growing bigger, she found her life shrinking. She made choices based on fear, such as working at the family business and settling into a life she didn’t love. After having a baby and not losing the weight, she joined a commercial weight loss program and lost 100 pounds (45 kilos). This kicked her disease into a whole new gear, throwing her into complete obsession with weight loss, exercise, therapy, and medication. Finally, she found Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA). At her first meeting, she heard members reading stories from the FA magazine, Connection, and related to every single story. She realized she was not alone. After one final binge that involved stealing food from her children, she found willingness to surrender control and become abstinent. Now remarried with two stepchildren in addition to her two sons, she has learned to face the challenges of life. But more than that, she describes a spiritual experience of joy and living with a lighter mind, free from food obsession.