104 CFer Mental Helpers (Stay Sane during Crises) with Jeff Kunkel

Jeff Kunkel talks about “CFer Mental Helpers (Stay Sane during Crises)” in this episode of the CF Alive Podcast, with host Michaela Light. Show notes Why now In normal times, 20% of Americans have mental illness every year (APA) Now in lockdown and economic depression, it is >60% ill 30% clinical depressed 30% PTSD (and remaining 40%...) Who is this episode for CFers with mental illness Even if they don’t realize it yet CFers with teammates with mental illness CIOs, PMs, Team Leaders and manager concerned about their staff What is mental illness? Significant changes in thinking, emotion and/or behavior Distress and/or problems functioning in social, work or family activities But can be hidden as it is in the mind Types Depression Hopelessness - negative self-talk, self-hate Numbness Apathy Anxiety Obsessive Worry, beyond reality OCD Paranoia Not dealing well with uncertainty Bipolar Affective Disorder Schizophrenia Dementia  Causes Stress Distress - bad Eustress - good Trauma Isolation Oxytocin Lack of support Poor nutrition Chemical imbalances Lack of sunlight Vitamin- D Serotonin Lack of sleep Lack of exercise Overindulgence Chemical effects Addictions (Mind-body connection The stereotypical ColdFusion developer! What to look for Withdrawn Outbursts Anger, crying, jokes Cries for help Dark humor Denial  Poor attendance/performance Physical sickness eg backache, exhaustion  Sudden changes Eating Sex Drug How can we help? Good boundaries Be a resource Open door policy 1 on 1 check-in Daily stand up brief check-in of feelings Relate personal experience  Show you care Go to groups and churches. Team building activities/outings  Make reasonable accommodations  Recommend professional help Getting professional help Your primary care physician Your insurance company may have a list of covered providers The website for the board of licensed professionals in your state Ask someone how they found theirs  See the end of the presentation for some additional links How not to help Tough it through Blame Panic Diagnose Excuse poor performance Make light of their situation Shaming Potential pitfalls Some people do not want help Denial All ready dealing with it It can be very uncomfortable  To be ill To be around the ill To discuss EQ Shame Forcing the issue can make it worse Suicide Time to talk about the elephant in the room Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US Is 2nd leading cause in 30-year-olds On average, there are 129 suicides per day. Approx 40k per year 1.4M suicide attempts per year (2018) An estimated 9.3 million adults (3.9% of the adult U.S. population) reported having suicidal thoughts in the past year.  Suicide and self-injury cost the US $69B per year (2015) The annual U.S. suicide rate increased by 24% between 1999 and 2014 After suicide It is not your fault  Be supportive Support survivors (let’s take a breath!) Prevention - Self-Care Practice what you preach Eat right Get some sleep Blue blocker glasses Go out in the sun Go in nature Accept help from others Working From Home Get dressed Keep a schedule Have a separate work area Limit distractions Have regular proactive breaks away from the computer Get “face time” with colleagues via Zoom etc Allow yourself to be bad at WFH WFH as a skills Good boss for staff WFH Practice Rat race rant We are not looking at these incredible mental illnesses and suicide statistics as being indicative of deep unlying problems with our society’s programming and the rat race.  If society was a CF server then it was misconfigured from the start, has not been tuned, is running a legacy CF version and OS and the programming was crappy.  Don't even look at the database queries being run unless you have a strong stomach.  It needs a good tuning and re-write and upgrades from many years applied. Disclaimer We are not doctors. This is personal advice that has worked for me Seek further information from sources like the American Psychiatric Association and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Wrap up Why are you proud to use CF? WWIT to make CF more alive this year? What did you enjoy at ITB 2020? Mentioned in this episode Oh my GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) with Jeffrey Kunkel CF Suicide episode with Jorge Reyes   Into The Box   Trauma Healing    Psychology Today MHA National, finding a therapy    Leading causes of death by age group  AFSP Suicide statistics  Violence prevention  ColdFusion User Groups on Meetup LearnCFInAWeek Listen to the Audio Bio Jeffrey Kunkel Jeffrey Kunkel is an in house web developer for www.lightingnewyork.com. He has been developing for six years, and is excited to start contributing to the ColdFusion community at large. Jeff has been living with anxiety, depression, and OCD for his entire career. He wants to take the lessons he's learned working around and with these conditions to better the workflow and productivity of his colleagues. Links Twitter  His ITB slides  Interview transcript Michaela Light 0:01 Welcome back to the show. I'm here with Jeff Kunkel and we are going to talk about cold fusion mental helpers, or how to stay sane during crises, which, when we're recording this, there's a major lockdown crona economic depression, wacko crisis going on on there's definitely a lot of people who are having some issues. So we wanted to help out with that. So welcome, Jeff. Hello. And nice background you have there for those watching on video into the box 2020. And you know, we'll talk a bit more about that, because I know you gave a talk there. And But meanwhile, why don't we just remind listeners who you are? Who are you in a nutshell. Jeff Kunkel 0:51 I'm Jeff conkel. I'm a 33 year old ColdFusion developer I've been developing for about six years. I work on a small ecommerce company a in house team. One thing I I'd like to contribute to the ColdFusion community and I feel like my expertise is higher in having mental like dealing with mental health, and it is in cold fusion at the moment. So that's kind of where I've been focusing. Michaela Light 1:24 So you've experienced some of these issues yourself in the past? Jeff Kunkel 1:28 Yes, absolutely. I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and with a mild case of obsessive compulsive disorder. So it's Michaela Light 1:38 a mild case of access to to organize your shoe closet once a year. Read more   Michaela Light is the host of the CF Alive Podcast and has interviewed more than 100 ColdFusion experts. In each interview, she asks "What Would It Take to make CF more alive this year?" The answers still inspire her to continue to write and interview new speakers. Michaela has been programming in ColdFusion for more than 20 years. She founded TeraTech in 1989. The company specializes in ColdFusion application development, security and optimization. She has also founded the CFUnited Conference and runs the annual State of the CF Union Survey.   Join the CF Alive revolution Discover how we can all make CF more alive, modern and secure this year. Join other ColdFusion developers and managers in the CF Alive Inner Circle today. Get early access to the CF Alive book and videos Be part of a new movement for improving CF's perception in the world. Contribute to the CF Alive revolution Connect with other CF developers and managers There is no cost to membership.