105: How to pass on mental wealth to your child

Think about your parents.   Now think about money.   What kinds of ideas, images, and feelings come to mind?   Do you recall any discussions about money - or were these hidden from you?   Was there always enough to go around - or were you ever-conscious of its absence?   What little incidents do you recall that ended up becoming defining 'money scripts' of your life?   Perhaps it won't be a shock to learn that just as we learned how to raise children from our parents, we also learned how to think about money from them.  And as we will raise our children the way we were raised unless we choose a different path, we will also pass on our ideas about money - unless we decide differently.   Today we hear from Dr. Brad Klontz, co-author of the book Mind over Money: Overcoming the Money Disorders That Threaten Our Financial Health (Affiliate link), who helps us to think through the money scripts we want to pass on to our children - and how to adjust course if we decide we need to do this.   Find more information from Dr. Klontz on his YouTube channel.   Other episodes in this series This episode is the first in a series on the intersection of parenting and money.  You can find other episodes in this series: 038: The Opposite of Spoiled 107: The impact of consumerism on children 112: How to Set up a Play Room 115: Reducing the Impact of Advertising to Children 118: Are You Raising Materialistic Kids?   Jump to highlights 01:36 Introduction to Dr. Brad Klontz, financial psychologist and co-author of Mind Over Money 03:11 What money scripts are, and why they get passed down through generations 07:07 Why money only buys happiness up to a point 12:11 How shame and stress shape our earliest money scripts 18:26 Why money conversations work best as an ongoing series instead of one big talk 20:29 Twelve money disorders in three categories: avoidance, worship, and relational 24:14 Financial enabling, financial dependence, and the trap of rescuing kids from every problem 27:07 Using allowance to teach values, and letting kids feel the sting of not having enough 32:22 What financial wellness actually looks like 40:42 How race, culture, and socioeconomic background shape money scripts differently 43:58 The "do-it-yourself-itis" trap, and learning to outsource as you move up economically 46:41 The privilege built into minimalism, and what it looks like from a different economic vantage point 50:00 Where to turn for help: financial therapists, couples therapy, and self-study resources   References Joo, S-H., & Grable, J. (2004). An exploratory framework of the determinants of financial satisfaction. Journal of Family and Economic Issues 25(1), 25-50. Klontz, B.T., Zabek, F., Taylor, C.D., Bivens, A., Horwitz, E., Klontz, P.T., Tharp, D.T., & Lurz, M. (2019). The sentimental savings study: Using financial psychology to increase personal savings. Journal of Financial Planning 32(10), 44-55. Klontz, B.T., Sullivan, P., Seay, M.C., & Canale, A. (2015). The wealthy: A financial psychological profile. Counseling Psychology Journal: Practice and Research 67(2), 127-143. Klontz, B., & Klontz, T. (2009). Mind over money: Overcoming the money disorders that threaten our financial health. New York, NY: Broadway. Klontz, B.T., & Britt, S.L. (2012). How clients’ money scripts predict their financial behaviors.  Journal of Financial Planning 25(11), 33-43. Klontz, B.T., Britt, S.L., & Archuleta, K.L. (2014). Financial therapy: Theory, research, and practice. Cham, Switzerland: Springer. Shiv, B., & Fedorikhin, A. (1999). Heart and mind in conflict: The interplay of affect and cognition in consumer decision making. The Journal of Consumer Research 26(3), 278-292.