105 - Macho Man Heart Attack

Real good, real good, real good, real good, real good. Real good, real good, real good, real good, real good real good, real good. Real good, real good real good. Real good, real good, real good.

Real good. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another edition of America's Best Worth Canadian Sports Podcast. That's right. Real good show is back at it again for another week.

It is episode number 105 I think. There you go, 105. Nice job. You only fucked it up.

I know, what I thought about like I fucked it up then week after even though I just did just said the same thing two weeks in a row. Justin Morrisett with you once again with me as always is. Stefan Hoeen. John Cohen.

And yeah, on pod caps, I don't think we've got the episode right for like six in a row, and no one cares. But we also have way less. And you've also done like 20 episodes. So I did like five times that many before I started.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Although we did have that one episode where it took you like four tries just to do the intro, because you're laughing so much. I don't even remember what was so funny.

I don't either. I kept looking at you, I think, and smiling slightly. Well, because there was something that you were laughing about. And when you kept trying to do it, and Stefan was looking at you and just trying to get you going.

Then I remember we insisted on you leaving that in. And I don't think I did. No, you did for sure. Or if you didn't, then it was like a bonus.

Maybe at the end of the episode? Yeah. Well, regardless, I think it's a miracle that we're even all speaking together right now, given that I blocked you on Twitter, John. And things have just seemingly deteriorated here over the last week in terms of our overall friendships, I feel.

Do you? I don't feel that way. I'm on the video this time though. So I feel like I'll help calm everything down.

You feel cool. I mean, I can't see you. I can't see you. I'm not.

John, do you want to pop over so I can say hello? Sure. Oh, you look so cute. Hey, man.

He's wearing his brand new, like, hands of his daughter's face. Look at my camera. It's up on an arm so I can move it around. Oh, it's like it's a drone.

It's flying around your room. Oh, man. You should see how many tabs Justin has open. Man, it's unbelievable over here.

So crazy. My room is really depressing though, because it looks like one of those men going their own way rooms. Yeah, it looks like Kirk Van Houghton's room. Can I borrow a feeling?

Yeah, at least he's hard. I don't even have a race car. Yeah, that's true. Dare to dream stuff.

And there's still time yet. That's true. You could get a race car bet if you really wanted one. Oh, you can do anything you want.

That's true. Well, my streaming area is a nice setup. I've got the mic and I've got the camera. I'm like an arm.

And I mean, you watched the stream. I did. Yeah, you guys did it for the first time this week. I was on Thursday night.

And I don't know. Is that going to be a regular Thursday night thing? Or what is the point? It is.

Jesse is actually going to be attempting to break the world record for the fastest Dark Souls speed run this week. So we're going to record that. So it's not just going to be. He's actually really good at it.

It's not going to be Hearthstone every single time. No, it'll be like a lot of different stuff. We want to play like GeoGuesser. If you ever play GeoGuesser.

I have not. I do. You guys check that. It's a lot of fun.

I'm not going to be one good thing this week, actually. It's like a Google Maps game. It seems like John would love this game. Yeah, I'm really good at it.

OK, yeah. I thought you were going to say I'm really bored of this. OK. I mean, I am bored.

I am bored, but I am also good at GeoGuesser. It's like a Geo with spot on a map. And you're supposed to guess where it is in the world. I'll show you like a Google Street view of anywhere in the world that Google Street view is available.

And you can move around in the map. But you have to use the clues like street signs, what side of the road a car is driving on. Kind of sounds like a one of the elements of like Pub Quiz when John was hosting the quiz at Artown. Yeah, well, I did a Vancouver intersections one.

So I would have a picture of an intersection and then he had to name the cross streets. I feel like there was another one that was like from all over the world to Paris and stuff. Well, there was one I used to play when I wasn't hosting, where Meg used to do a skyline one. You were playing together.

Yeah. Regardless. Yeah, which would happen anymore, I guess. Justin, now that you blocked me on Twitter.

Well, apparently, I'm a fucking garbage idiot who. I didn't call you a garbage idiot. Just doesn't appreciate the right kind of pickles. That's true.

Are you getting into the food talk? I'm not going to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry.

It's my first and then you can talk. Sorry to all the listeners out there who just can't stand to me any longer because I don't like the same condiments on my hot dog as I do. I mean, I think the thing is that most people are just joking, man. Like, I'm just joking around.

Like, I don't actually think you're. I mean, I think you're a bad person. That has nothing to do with pickles and musts. Well, I just want to say that I take a lot of abuse as a result of this show.

And I want listeners to remember and appreciate that I'm a human being, god damn it. I have feelings. You hate mustard. You can't just rip on me constantly without getting mad sometimes.

Oh, yeah, but we can. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Sure. So there's something interesting. When you say you hated mustard. And then in the comments, I noticed you were like, well, Dijon is OK.

Yeah. Well, that was specifically Scott Brown, who's like one of the senior editors of the Vancouver Sun. Ask me about Dijon mustard. Oh, so you don't want to lose a burn bridge.

Exactly. Exactly. I like Scott. It's going to get a job.

Someone did ask me. Is in fact our mutual friend John Graham Borden from JRF. OK, yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, you should have gone in on Dijon.

And I said, look, I really like Scott. And I knew where this was headed if I torched Dijon also. Right. Dijon is so good.

So you actually don't like Dijon? Yeah, so my understanding was that you just don't like the yellow, like French's mustard. Dijon with the ham is good. Dijon is fine.

I do. OK. That was a joke. We're getting summer.

I feel like a camp David summit. And people also asking about honey mustard. Like how do I feel about that? I don't feel like that counts as real mustard.

It does. No, it's delicious. It's translucent. You can see through it.

It's more honey than mustard. Honey mustard? Honey mustard? Yeah, I know the one you're talking about.

And that's the shitty kind of honey mustard. You need to get the high mustard on like sandwiches at Tim Hortons. Yeah, yeah, that's not it. That's not it.

That's not it mustard. You got to take a judgment. You got to judge a condiment based on what it's like at Tim Hortons. Exactly.

You can't judge a condom by who it's been inside. You know what I mean? But the pickles thing is something else. Yeah, I'd say dill pickles were bad.

Mustard is bad. No, you didn't. It was a tragedy. It was a tragedy what you were saying.

But if I'm just going to like grab a jar out of the fridge and eat some pickles, I do prefer the sweet bread and butter pickle. And that is well within my rights to enjoy. If you find yourself agreeing with Jesse on like a food take, like you need to reevaluate a lot of things. Well, I also agreed with him in that column that he wrote about what is the best beer.

That's beer and Jesse's a beer expert. But in terms of food, Jesse has a thing he likes to call dinner sauce, which is like catch up and ranch dressing and much stuff mixed together. What's the funniest sauce? Today he recommended I go to Taco Bell and get the burrito with pop rocks in it.

That's a real thing? Yes, I thought it was a joke. I thought it was something he made out. He was like, I don't know if he was recommending it like he had had it before.

Probably. It sounds like a thing that he would have had. That sounds horrific. So I will say, and there's nothing wrong with bread and butter pickles.

There's lots wrong with it. But also, but okay, that's like saying you like the little Cornish a little baby pickles. I don't want those. I don't want those.

Those are good. But I feel pickles are just the best. In much the same way that there was like political reasoning behind me trying to appease Scott Brown, there was also some political reasoning behind trying to agree with Jesse as well. And that I feel like Jesse has been kind of mean to me lately.

Who has been mean to you on that stream on Thursday night when I didn't do anything untoward whatsoever. Oh my God. So I'm trying to build that bridge a little bit. I think you made like one joke.

I forget exactly what it was. No, it shows a whole stream. He had a summoning portal and I asked if he could summon a job through it. But that was only a piece.

That's really funny. He was already mean to me. Yeah, yeah. I don't want this relationship where we just rip on each other.

I want to be friends with him. So I'm trying to be nice. And I wanted to support his pickle take because I know what it's like to come under fire for food takes. I know one knows better than me.

No one knows what it's like to hate to master. I mean, OK, there's a lot. I mean, I hate this whole discussion. I was trying to make something else.

I was trying to make something else. All this joke about coming under fire. Go on, John. No, it's just it's just all bad.

All this is bad. What are we talking about? I don't get. I also don't understand.

I'm going to just say something here. The people who hate ketchup. Ketchup hot dogs is good. No, it's not.

There's nothing wrong with ketchup on hot dogs. That's John that you're talking about the people who hate ketchup. I think ketchup is good. No, but just what ketchup is good on fries and grilled cheese.

Yeah. But ketchup, not just ketchup, but ketchup and mustard on hot dogs. Yeah, but I don't like that. But John also said that ketchup on a burger ruins the burger.

That's true. Obscene. That's the craziest take I've heard so far. I'm kind of coming around on that because of the many varieties of aiolis available in 27.

And mustard is just delicious. You need aioli on your burger at this point? Yeah, man. I'm a Hollywood baby.

He's going to say he's a true LA boy now. He's changed. I'm just imagining you coming back to Vancouver and being at White Spot and being like, what aiolis do you have for their triple o? Triple o?

I mean, I mean, kind of, but they're like, what are you talking about? You're like, oh my God, get me back to LA. Get me back to my aioli place. Here they have those little pump things.

You pump out the aioli. Oh, that's pretty good. I'm in the dog. I don't know.

I'm in the dog. I'm in the dog. I'm in the dog. I'm in the dog.

I'm in the dog. Okay. No, because I don't know. The last time I had like fast Mexican food was Taco Bell and Philadelphia and I had diarrhea.

Yeah. Taco Bell sucks ass. The taco was pretty good. But that's kind of like put me off the fast food.

Oh, yeah. Fast food Mexican. I mean, I've had it out obviously. I've had it before, but it's okay.

Plus, I think I've said this before. I feel like it's not acceptable to go to Del Taco before like two in the morning. So you might be asleep. Okay.

So I understand that. I mean, the most there's taco trucks available. Yeah, exactly. Umami burger, like changed my life.

Oh, yeah. That's supposed to be so good. No, there was some sort of like miso gravy sauce. Oh, my God.

It sounds delightful. And I will also say it's not fast food, but Roscoe's chicken gravy. Oh, yeah. Chicken and waffles.

There was gravy on the waffles. Right. And the chicken. The chicken and gravy.

Yeah. Roscoe's chicken gravy on the mind. Yeah. That's fair.

I understand. Um, I, I think personally, I think you got to be able to take it, Justin. I think you're the host of a show and you pride yourself on having very strong opinions. So if you're going to have strong opinions and people are going to disagree with you, I think you just have to accept that, especially if they're giving you money every month.

Fair. I just, you know, I, why is it so funny to beg on me all the time, right? But if I hit back, it's bullying, you know, and because you actually believe in that. It's like, that'd be like saying like if someone punched you and then you shot them.

Well, well, I mean, you know, I mean, he was punching me. Can't I just shoot him? He just took his shirt off and then angled the camera up. Nice.

I couldn't see him anymore. I don't know. He might be nude as you record the rest of the book. I think he's taking his pants off right now.

Nice. That's what I'm talking about. Well, that's what I was saying to you. I never just see his head like shuffling around.

Oh, no, he's still got pants. I'm never tuning into the Stefan and Jesse stream unless they're going to fuck. Well, he's a nascar, right? So I am like basically naked.

That's not my problem. Here's a question. Wow. Look at that.

Yeah. I angled it perfectly so I can see every inch of his eyes. Because they're skinny you are. You got a good bond.

Thanks, man. I got the pull-up on here. Yeah, dude. That's the real, like, you could be the alternate cover for Requiem for a dream.

Like skinny enough that it's believable you're on heroin but ripped enough to be Hollywood. My ideal body type is Brad Pitt and Snatch. Oh, yeah. That's good.

You like to eggs? Wait, what? You like to? Right.

Okay. I forgot about that. Well, you actually played into the bit perfectly. I did.

I did. I did. I did. I did.

I built the camera back up again so I'm looking at your face. That would mean we didn't change anything at all. So I'm continuing to undress, is taking socks off now. Yeah, it only lasted for like three hours, right?

Yeah. I mean, I got in there while the game was good. Yeah. You were all over it.

Do you get email notifications from face app? No, I just saw it on Twitter. I was like, oh, they added like, race filters to face app. And I was like, there's no way.

So I redownloaded it. I was like, oh, yeah. This app is like Russian. So that makes sense.

Yeah. Black, Jess, and then. And that was the best one I've ever seen come out of that app, I think. Black, just an African-American, Jesse?

Yes. Sorry. Well, we're not racist. Are you a distracted Justin?

Like, he's on on here. No, no. He's just a distracted person. He actually has, he's touching his penis.

What? It's not going to seem like that. He's clearly not. I'm in the room.

Both of my hands are up. Yeah. Up and down your shaft. All right.

Anyway, let's get down to business. Yeah. Do we have some donors to thank you? Yeah.

Yeah. Let's thank you. Yeah. I think we've provided some excellent work done for so far.

Yeah, absolutely. We're in the middle of summer time. There's nothing. No, this is just the boys.

What are we supposed to talk about? Tennis for an hour? The boys are back on the bullshit. I mean, we're mostly just fighting with each other.

And you can't handle my takes, which means you don't deserve them. I don't. I find these are the best episodes, the ones where there's no sports to talk about at all. We're just where Justin is ultra-sensitive, and I'm a true man, as usual.

Look, can I say one thing about the date that I had that apparently, no one is willing to let go of the squirting? Yes. Oh, no one can hang on to it because it's too wet. I just want to say that that was like my joke sunglasses.

I don't have to say that. Nice. That was awesome. You did.

Yeah, yeah, I'll get it. I'll take a picture of your jokes sunglasses. Definitely. This is when you yeah, especially with you shirtless That's so good.

I'll get Justin in the shot to you. You can angle where it looks like I have a pectoral muscles. Yeah, definitely That's what I was going for. Yeah I mean everything everything's looking good.

Oh, there's like a shadow that's being cast. It looks like I'm not Yeah, your nipples are being covered up by like the only thing with the bottom of the call The only like bad thing is where your headphones come together. So it kind of makes it look like you're wearing dog tags That's kind of cool though. I mean, it's like kind of yeah.

Yeah, I guess that's true Yeah, you want to just before we talk before we think that don't yeah I just want to say one last thing which is that was a beautiful romantic wonderful I would tell certain stories from it would be very very cute and adorable and I would come off as a perfect gentleman And it was a wonderful romantic evening that I never get to let go of something here I would come off like a perfect gentleman. Let me just say something related to that and I get turned around on you is that instead a perfect gentleman God come on Thank you, but you're insinuating just since a perfect gentleman But I chose I chose not to tell those stories of the date because that's you know, that's private stuff That's I wouldn't do that I respect you know I'm respectful gentleman and I wouldn't tell those stories But that was a wonderful date that that hurts me that it did not continue after that and now I never get to let go of that Because people just want to tell me that I got peed on for the fucking rest of my life So yeah, I do have a breaking point and apparently it's mustard which is completely unrelated to anything else It's about the squirting. Yes, absolutely, but if it makes you feel better, I've technically been peed on as well What I mean, oh, I can embrace it. I love stuff gets squirted near you I will say that you brought it on yourself because we didn't even know we didn't know that you I mentioned it to you because It was hurting me at the time.

I never wanted to talk about it on the show you insisted on reading those texts No, it actually that was all that was I never wanted that to happen Something I got multiple people very funny people being like I was a crying laughing during the sports. Yeah, I know that it's funny Which is why I fucking said it so you know I know how to have my comes after though, but no people need to appreciate the sacrifice that I'm Oh my god, my own private life I Believe me. I appreciate it You want to enjoy the comedy that I give up when I do get personal like that then also leave the fuck alone So I have the freedom to do that again. Well, you know I'm a I got I got to stop torturing me.

I'm just a man a Small small man, okay Sorry doesn't I do one more you just I just don't get it though like you do a show that's that's beloved by a lot of people So if you bring things up on the show you have to be prepared for the fallout that's what I don't get like you like you're acting I want them to treat me with respect but they are really enjoy the program Exactly they don't make me regret ever having done anything But that's what I mean is they're just trying to have fun with you because they laughed at it And so they want to laugh with you they want to keep making jokes It's not at you think about it think about if it were you would you would appreciate the comments that you're making to me? Think about that, okay, and then if you wouldn't appreciate them, maybe don't fucking make them. That's all I'm saying That's it. I don't have the schoolhouse rock theme ready to play after you just Down on my okay Long did what basically you're saying is that you want to be able to say things on the show and have no one ever talk No, there's a way that you can reference them without Torturing me.

Okay, how were they torturing you? I'm sorry. I can't let this go because it's just I never wanted to talk about this date on the show At all it's hurtful to me it hurts It's a painful reminder that I had a wonderful fucking romantic evening with this lady who never wants to see me again And I never get to forget about that. Yeah, but it's okay But see like to me this would help me get over it because it's funny therapeutic.

Yeah now. We're all laughing about it. Mm-hmm. I'm not laughing I'm laughing at you.

That's a lot of pain with you. No, I'm the I'm the brunt of the jokes here No, I'm not the lady for losing out on the Justin Morris that experience. Oh, yeah, all right I mean, I'm laughing about you, but with you not at oh, yeah I I even said on the show I've been with ladies who scored before and I accepted that it's P. It's not P Well, I mean, it's mostly P anyways moving on let's thank some donors sure if you just if you made me sweat I would go on a second day That's true for sure like you know, I'm I'm not afraid to say that and I'll say it multiple times throughout this episode He's a strong man Stefan heck.

He's a good. Well, not like basically. No, no, but like mentally. Okay.

I'm an emotional Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's true. Maybe just scratch all that We're you're saying I'm like a good person. Yeah, exactly like that's not accurate content. Let's get let's gloss over it Let's make some donors.

Oh sure. Yeah, let's do it. Thank you for donating to the show To the show you work hard for your money that we know that we know the segments where we read out all your names We say it wrong your parents are to blame Speaking of squirt a come man pledged 569 the come man the come man himself Wow So thank you come man also Azamat Beggatov who easily has the coolest name of anybody I want to say it. Okay Azamat Beggatov.

All right cool cool. I Can I say the cool name? Yeah, sure. Okay, he's a man I knew that was coming.

Jeez you could see that from a mile away. Yeah, so Azamat Beggatov sounds kind of Bulgarian I'm gonna say Bulgarian. Thank you for donating to the show. I guess they just shout Sure, no, Azamat Beggatov is the fucking guy from Bory.

He's the assistant from Bory. Oh, is he? Oh, okay? Okay, so it's a joke name.

Well now that kind of yeah, I was like a real I was gonna guess Kazakhstan and I realized wait a second Okay, I haven't seen Borat since I saw it in theaters. I shouldn't fix that. I don't know how it hold up I remember it. I would stand in the first time.

I think it would still hold up. I think it's not what it means to death though Yeah, it's still funny man. Yeah, the part like when it shits in the bag at the party Oh, yeah I've re-watched Ali G and it's still and honestly that whole naked wrestling scene with Azamat is like when I was watching it I thought it was like the funniest thing I've ever seen when I saw that movie in the theater I thought I might die of a fixation just in the aisle and also I was choking myself in jerk We also receive the five dollar pledge from Cole. Thank you Cole.

Thank you very much Well, he doesn't have a last name. That's very kind speaking of somebody does have a last name We received a five dollar pledge from Donnie Richardson, which sounds like a character from letter K Oh, he's he's in the Facebook. Yes. He is and he was watching the stream to I believe cool.

Yeah, he seems like a good guy Thank you Donnie and lastly we have a patreon donation from Patrick sub esta So thank you Patrick. He's got a nice little photo up here looks like his girlfriend or wife is in the photo and Congratulations. Oh what a wonderful life he leads. Yeah, I guess he got a second date Okay, I mean, you know, hey listen, man.

I've been I've been I've been cut down before Yeah, yeah, I've been told that I'm not good enough. Yeah, sometimes just got accepted move on It's fine. Maybe she's not I've already I'm trying to move on I was gonna say I keep dragging me back I don't think I don't think they do but in any case we can move on from that I just I just think I just think that you're taking it real hard for one date man. Yeah, I Know what do you not like about mustard?

Yeah, let's get back into the food takes because they're bad just the general general flavor I taste so good. No, it's not good and then people be like oh clearly you don't like spicy food then I fucking love spicy food Hot sauce is the number one condiment by far Mustard is not spicy. Okay, but here's here's okay. Here's the thing though See this is where it's a problem your takes are contradictory because you say that hot sauce is the best condiment But then you say that horseradish ruins roast beef it does see to me hot sauce ass Oh, thank you step in horseradish is good.

I don't I don't eat it that often but it is good But I smells awful and tastes worse. I want a great name for something to you want to eat. Yeah, it's oh, it's a radish Oh, tell me more. Oh, it's also it's like a horse type of rad you know, that's two things that are bad to eat I mean, I will say that I've gotten back on the dating apps and if a girl has a picture with a horse That's an auto swipe left for me.

Yeah, she'll be the hottest girl in the world I'm like horse girls no offense if you're a horse girl that listens to the show that I'm hoarse lady here They're all fucked. They're all fucked up every one of them I don't know why I don't know what it is, but it's no good and if you are a horse girl listening to show or woman I should say not girl. It's disrespectful You're a horse woman and you don't think you're crazy come with a call send or John sorry my fault Yes, come on the show. I honestly I want to talk to a horse lady.

That's not psycho Well, we had a horse lady on the show once I exactly And she was psycho She wasn't she didn't read in years at that point. Well, not a horse But yeah, I think you're right in that if there's a horse in the photo get out of here It's gonna be very high maintenance The horse in the photo is from dating apps the horse in a photo with a girl is equivalent of a fish or a truck in a photo with a guy Yeah, big time absolutely absolutely. That's why my cover photo is me holding a fish in front of a truck You know your cover photo should be you running over a horse in a truck Yeah, that would actually be dope and there's like a sedated lion or tiger or something in the back of your Cabb totally and the lion has a chain around his neck and says Cecil He's still like practice because didn't something happen like right after that kind of blew it over his brother also though Oh, yeah, yeah, it's not Harambe like right? No, no, Harambe was like a year later.

Oh man. Here's my favorite part about Harambe in the white caps Facebook group There's like a white caps supporters Facebook group There are still Harambe jokes made like on the reg like there was one made like this weekend and I'm like, yeah, man Sports message boards are like on average four years behind. Yeah, dude. It's so it's so crazy I was like what this can't be real but apparently it's real there was a recent update in the Cecil the lion story though I feel like back in May Cecil the lion's son also got killed in basically the exact same spot that his father had been gunned down Three years earlier.

Oh, he got killed. He killed in the knife Came back into America seeking revenge and he's gunned down in front of a Minnesota dentist office I would love to hear the I would love to hear that song by Elton john and Tim rice about the uh both Cecil and his Sundying yeah, I like to think that the sun was there to like investigate the crime scene. He was like looking for clues. Yeah Down as well.

Yeah, that's good stuff. Yeah. Yeah, I posted goatee on a on like hf boards like six years ago during uh You know how they do like live game threads. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah So in the playoffs and I think it was like Montreal. I didn't Montreal Washington and it was like game seven two Um, and it was like a main board game thread So like the busiest thread on the entire board there like a thousand people in there I posted goats in there and most people hadn't seen it before and they were like disgusted for some reason I go ban Well, I'm still fine at disgusting and I've seen it a bunch how many times have you seen like four times? Yeah, to me, that's a bunch.

That's too much. That's I mean, that's not talking about I've seen probably if I had to guess like 14 000 times How many times do you think you've been banned from hf boards? Uh for I know for a fact three times I think yeah three times I think it's the what did they let you like but they let you back or you just get like a new IP address or something I can do it count. I don't know if the IP ban me and I've moved around from like Victoria at Vancouver to like you know, so what again What exactly keeps you coming back for more?

Um people are there's some good people on there occasionally like opinions and stuff like three Um and also it's kind of it's unseen how dumb people are too. So yeah, I guess that's like kind of your thing, right? It's just ripping on stupid people all the time. Yeah, that's why he does the show with us I was trying to get Scott Adams to block me today.

I don't think I'm gonna check on thing he did but Who's Scott? Gilbert guy. No, I'm not see what you're talking about. What's it that you're talking about?

Which way dilbert's dick points? Yeah, oh, I think he did block me. Yeah I can find him when I like search for him. Congratulations.

Congrats, man. Feel good for you. I think I'm still I'm only blocked by uh by jaylin rose and marca stromin and steve angel and joustin. So only four people I'm do you want to see uh, you want to see why he blocked me?

You're probably blocked by more people than you know though. I mean, yeah, I'll probably yeah because like a lot of times blockchains and stuff a lot of times I'll see someone like quote tweet like some fucking Centrist I'm with her hillary blog lady, right? And it's like I can't see the tweet and it's like you're blocked by this person and I've never interacted with them ever in my life I think it's because like I follow Nick Mullen on twitter. Yeah, that's that's legitimately why I'm blocked by like 50 people probably Yeah, because you listen to come down.

Yeah, I sent you the thing you can show john. Okay. What is it? Take a peek?

I can just look it up. I got my oh it's a tweet from steve and did you draw this yourself steven? Why do the dick and the legs? Well done.

Do you like it that his pubic hair looks like the top of his head? Yeah, yeah He's strong up so that dilbert's dick folds up like his tie. Oh, I like that. Yeah, I said that and his pubic I don't know about the top of his head.

Yeah, the pubes are uh Nice talking I went on his periscope and kept asking is dilbert have a curved penis like his tie Michael hale was going on and asking if dilbert has a pussy Um and I didn't get any solid answers got at him censoring us and doesn't believe in the first amendment Well, uh, brits and reis sudrew our new cover art. You saw why he got blocked by Scott Adams didn't you? I don't think I did actually. I mean it was a comic book.

It's a cartoon called dilbert And it's dilbert giving birth to Scott Adams and like Scott Adams head is coming out of his asshole And he was blocked for ancenries is good shit. Yeah, he's very very very hilarious. I do. I need to buy that dress.

I need to get a dress He's sure it's good too. Maybe I'll get it too. And I bet it's fine to be block each other so we would find Because we don't oh you blocked me after I blocked you. No, I didn't do that.

I'm not petty. I don't give a shit Okay, yeah, I know you can view my tweets. They're all good. Maybe someday I'll unblock you if you're nice enough to me I'll get the long run.

Oh, my dad. Honestly This is a great episode. It's cool. They're honestly the bad episode It's cool if you unblock me like I mean we are I think we're friends Yeah, different but it's fine if you I just don't feel like you can handle my tweets is obviously approved you are incapable of I don't know how was I Uncivil you saw my mustard takes and you screen grabbed it and that was tickles the tickles I had nothing to do and you threatened to quit the show which I invited you to if you really wanted to and That's true and I will I'll do it right here.

Okay, and you responded to the tweet with Jesus fucking christ Justin No, I think I just and it was late at night and I was drunk and I was like, you know what? I'm just not gonna deal with this anymore. Did I say Jesus fucking Christ or holy fucking? I don't know I said I said Jesus fucking Christ, but I should say it's important.

This should be the show I think I said holy fucking shit. I did I said holy fucking shit Justin. That's what I said This should be the entire show we should just talk about sports and just get into arguments on Twitter I'm out each other Scott and I discuss them on an episode and then like this is fucking great And then every week one of us will have blocked someone else That'll be part of it. We'll just see who blocks you um no, but I mean it was weird because you thought that I was like bullying you and I wasn't I was like, oh, I think our listeners would like to argue about this And so that's why I posted it but then it turned out that that everyone thinks you're wrong Yeah, everyone wants to get up on it, you know, but they didn't with the mustard.

They didn't with the mustard mustard You had a lot of support. I had a handful of supporters. But the tickles I was disgusting. That's a horrible What I just realized that because Scott Adams blocked me he 100 saw the picture of Dilbert with the curvy deck Yeah, oh yeah for sure And like upset him and like that's so surreal to me because I had like Dilbert books as a child and I watched the cartoon I was like it's pretty funny like I'm enjoying it's like 12 or whatever Yeah, yeah, it's funny.

And then and now I'm 28 and I sent a picture of Dilbert's cock Are you 28? Because all the honest bad is not like a day over 14 Okay, you said it was nice. Yeah, I did I will say Devin that my former roommate Graham Perkins also like you as a child used to read Dilbert and had like a bunch of the collected works books And he had them until recently when Scott decided to become like a right-wing pundit basically And when we moved out of that place back in November of last year I got the honor of throwing all of those books into the recycle bin And it felt great. It was awesome.

Wow, you know, yeah No more cathartic feeling than just taking the collected works of Scott Adams and throwing them in the fucking garbage where they belong So that would have been a good vine. Yeah, I should have filmed it for sure. Damn that must have been crazy that there was still room in the garbage on top of your mustard and pickle takes Alright Thank you. I thought that was pretty nice to you.

I'm just trying to see how long I can be blocked for I big week Sports-wise this week. I called another CJ. Bell game. Yeah, that's no yesterday.

I want to be a color for that. I do. Yeah I might eventually have to do play by play if there's a like scheduling conflict between a stealth lacrosse game I'll do I'll do the color for that But I think the next game that I'm calling is not until September 14th or something the way through the month and It's a big one because the Langley Rams are playing host to the Valley Huskers. Yeah, they should they're shit Right, that's the team you like shit on.

Yeah, that is the the famously historically awful team Right, it's never been good. That's right. That's not the one that Ryan played for though He played the bronchos and cam loops is also very bad and literally the only time that the Huskers and the Broncos ever win is when they play Each other well because someone has to yeah, um, yeah, I think I should do color for it But we shouldn't even call the game. We should just continue to do about yeah, just hot dogs Yeah, there's a concept of arena because we could both be just like well We've got some hot dogs here Justin.

Is that catch up on your hot dog and then we spend a whole first half arguing about Well, well, then we'll devolve from that honestly mentioned stranger things on a c2 Just two games I did talk about Chris Benoit during the game yesterday. Yes, it is so crazy Talk about the wrestling aspect of his life or the part where he cares family killing I implied the killing part but I mainly talked about the wrestling part because you implied a killing part Yes, we apply killing there was a defensive player Uh on the other team for the okanagan son who like straight up just wrapped up a running back for Langley and german suplexed him on the field Which is extremely illegal in football for those of you don't know that maybe I'm himself on a boflex It's a it's a belly to back suplex for those of you that don't know what that is That's where one man comes behind another man wraps him up by the waist and then throws him backwards over his head It's a neckbreaker Yeah, so I commented that he was doing his best his best Brock Lesnar impression trying to take the guy to suplex city and my play by playman jj Elliott was like there used to be a guy back in the day who would just do like rolling german's like that where he'd like wrap you up And hit you with one and then keep the hold and bring it back up and do it again and do it again and do it again Which guy was that who used to do that back in the day? And I knew he was talking about Chris Benoit and tried not to mention it at all Just continued with my Brock Lesnar analogies just ignored the question and then he was like it was Kurt angle Wasn't it and I said it was Chris Benoit But the less said about him the better at which point three of the stats keepers up in the scoring booth that we're up there in All like turned and looked at me like I just like saluted Hitler or something Time you never mentioned Chris Benoit a broadcast come on But historically speaking that is true. He was the guy that did that so basically your quest to be right overtook the I tried not to mention Yeah, you tried not to mention it, but then as soon as he said the wrong name your desire He was like you're a big wrestling guy.

You must know who I'm talking about and I was like, yes I do but I don't want to talk about it right but again once you said Kurt angle the wrong name you're like well I must correct this So that was really what pulled you what pushed you. Yeah, yes, I guess I would do the same thing I'm not saying that what you did was wrong while it was but like I'm just saying that that is really why you said Well, because you're like well, I can't handle him saying the wrong that it's a interesting it's a difficult thing and like how do you Talk about Chris Benoit from like a historical aspect as a pro wrestler of which he is one of the greatest of all time And swear that with not everyone talk about him at all because of the things he eventually did I just I just leave that to the WWE Justin Do you ever see a CJFL player get absolutely trucked and you're just like, oh, it's like when macho man Randy Savage had a heart attack and crashes car into everytating No, no, no, it sounded like No, no, so what would happen is someone would Justin wouldn't say that Jake Elliott would be like oh this guy looks like he had a heart attack and and Crasher the wall who was that guy? Mr. Perfect?

And Justin would be like, no, it's actually macho man Randy Savage you drove this truck through everytating We get to our clip of the week. Yeah sure. Let's do it. All right.

Well, the the little oh, sorry. Do you need me to be quiet? No, no, no, no Drop in the oh, we don't have a good week theme song. No, we don't we don't we don't know the clip of the week this week comes to us from the little league world series where As you know, all the kids that are playing in that are like 12 years old and they do this new segment where they let all the kids on the team come out of the dugout and introduce themselves, which is Which is cool, and they let them say things like and and over the years It's become a bit of a meme worthy thing like I don't know if you saw the one who there was a kid He's batting and it had the like infographic below him that he's like in love with his teacher Yeah, it's like a three teacher.

Yeah, it's like yeah, whatever his name was probably like Sage or something I was like Sage has a crush on his his teacher and then brackets is like I miss Stevens So they let the kids kind of go go in on the percio personality, which is great So this clip comes to us. I don't even know where this kid's from. It sounds like Alabama or something like that Unless it's like the Dominican team, then they're not allowed to have any personality at all. Yeah, exactly Then it's an outrage if they show any degree of personality these 12-year-old Dominicans better respect the fucking game Absolutely.

The only thing that the that the Dominicans are allowed to talk about is their birth certificates That's what they do they come out of the dugout They just hold their long for the camera So this kid his name's Richie Gilboy, and he's much like Ryan on the real good jokers He's he's a big kid who looks yeah, just tall big And well, he has this to say about his his hitting prowess Hi, I'm Richard Gilboy back home. They call me Ricardo and I take big daddy hacks I mean, I think it's the You what? Hi, I'm Richie Gilroy back home. They call me Ricardo and I take big daddy hacks Which I think is amazing.

Oh my god. I think that's his swinging style that just means that he's like, you know Swinging for the fences every single time. I think yeah, that's what that means Yeah, it's taking big big dart hacks here's definitely I'll play it into my microphone so you can hear it Because it really you really need to hear it to enjoy it Hi, I'm Richard Gilboy back home. They call me Ricardo and I take big daddy hacks That's really good.

Yeah, you see you see boob Powell the kid at the in the little world series No, but I like to say it's boob. Yeah, that's a great name This boy is gonna I just sent it to you in the in the chat. He's gonna play your mind. Okay Oh my god That was very earnest.

Holy shit Jeffrey Powell age 12 5 foot 220 pounds. Holy shit nickname boob. He looks like goldberg from the mighty ducks movies Yeah, goldberg has taught us anything. It's that in 20 years boob will be addicted to meth.

Okay, now Okay, can we play the other clip that I said you guys? Yeah, so this is our bonus clip of the week Which is relevant to the show in that it's so weird especially in today's political climate that we are still the only anti-Hitler podcast Yeah, but the only podcast that's ever come out and said we were staunchly against Hitler and defacto. I would say against nazi Especially neo-nazi. Yeah neo-nazi for sure.

We're against them and so I don't know if this guy I mean he's he's said in the wake of this incident that he's not a neo-nazi But he's certainly a white is a white sopremo. Yeah, and he goes by baked Alaska I was surprised to learn that he used to work for BuzzFeed and then was like in a very similar fashion to the guy who got fired from Google Right got like fired from BuzzFeed for being like two racists or something right? I was surprised to learn he's still alive Yeah, should be killed. He was a rapper too.

He wanted to be a rapper sure So yeah, so this is a clip of those he'd have been following along baked Alaska got pepper spray Bear mace. Okay, he's in the hospital. He thinks he might be losing his vision permanently Which would be wonderful. Yeah, we can only hope and so this is right after the bear nacing where he's being filmed Now the thing about these nazis is that their life revolves around constantly streaming of course everything that's happening at all times Whether it's this guy whether it's mike sernovich Whether it's you know any number of these people there's just no minute of the day that they must not be filming themselves So his primary concern after he's been bear maced is what's going on with the stream Keep streaming based I'm streaming What is my people saying?

Uh, damn that sucks. Yeah. Oh god. I love it I think my favorite part of that clip.

I think and this is I think a very underrated part of that clip is where he calls him baked Yeah, that's his first name. I got you baked. I got you I said that my favorite part. It's not a clip but today he was tweeting that he might be blind.

Yeah, go to the er And then a bunch of people replied me like you're a fucking idiot Fuck you. You deserve it And then he like screen grabbed them and replied back and was like look at these people be so mean to me But it's like I thought you're blind So presumably what's happening is that you're laying in the hospital bed and your friend is reading you people need it insulting you Like okay, here's what's next. This guy said, uh, you have a chode Uh, and you're a moron and you have no friends Uh, okay, this one said dumbest and we just motherfucker alive. Go and keep going Uh, it goes nice by the way No, that's what's happening for sure.

Yeah, he's he's fantastic. I love him I also love the guy who's reading out the stream comments Identifies himself as his own stream name and he's dressed like he's like playing war basically He's wearing a fucking soldier helmet. It's just it's it's the stupidest fucking thing in the world Yeah, and it obviously was a horrific thing that happened yesterday. Yeah, so I agree you blocked me Yeah, just disgusting.

You know glad to see the perpetrators of that event got what was coming to them as well And I hope they get more of it. Me too. All right, let's get to these questions Staunchely anti Hitler anti-fascist and anti-Nazi. Yep, and we will move on to the top three questions of the week Hey, it's the top three questions of the week on real good show.

You know what the fuck it is bitch We murder in CFL podcasts up in this motherfucker russell look out Question number one or this is what so I said because we didn't know if you're gonna be recording tonight So I had to ask for questions in real rush And so I said I would double the points this week So our 200 point question because I had to get the questions in within 60 minutes So I wanted to inspire people so the first question the 200 point question comes in from phil partridge long time listener donor to the show He quotes a tweet from the people's daily in china and it's a picture of some guys in a Tub filled with water and chili peppers and the tweet says competitors squat in vats filled with chili peppers and try to eat as many as possible at a chili Eating competition in south china's hoonan on august wealth and phil asks which host wins this and uh I'm gonna say it is definitely not me. I'm losing for sure. I'm really bad at the spicy food I'm gonna be sitting naked in tubs. So see I think this the water would be worse than the actual eating of it Because those peppers are so hot that the spice off of them is going to get all over the water just by Being in it like much we used to make spicy vodka at the bar when I worked at the brewery And they still make it and all they do is just put spicy peppers in the vodka for like three hours and the heat diffuses off of it You don't have to do anything So I think that that would like burn your skin just being in that water and that itself would be worse than the overall experience of actually eating the peppers I think I can't eat I can't eat it.

I can't eat it. I'd be like baked Alaska. Yeah, they're milk So I think I'm gonna win this one just even if I just eat like five oh, I'm gonna eat zero I can't I don't eat spicy food period I would try one I would try one just to say that I I tried it I mean I tried some of the gum I think this is this is pretty accurate because when we ate the old gum John had none of it. I had a bite and immediately spit it out and Justin ate and swallowed the entire thing.

So I swallowed it Well, yeah, you puked it up. That's true. Yeah, that was really gross. I'm spitting into a bottle.

I'll never be able to I'll never be able to forget that But no, I like I'm usually up for the challenge of like an eating challenge, especially a spicy food challenge Obviously that's insane because there's like hundreds of peppers in that vat But I'm always intrigued if somebody's got like a hot wings challenge But then usually it's like ghost peppers and I like googled them and that's like they weaponize those Oh, yeah, that's what they use to make like smoke bombs to smoke terrorists out of like spider holes Well, that was also that is one of the funniest videos of all time where the two are those Those teenage girls eat the I was just looking at this entry guys like legitimately. I just put up girls. It's a Carolina Reaper pepper Yeah, and they're just screaming. That's so funny.

That's so funny. Absolutely best. She thinks she's dying. Um, so okay question number two I'll read that I would win.

Yes. Yep. You can have it Next question comes in from Brandon O'Connor our official sinist the official sign maker of real good show He's made signs for both of our live shows We still haven't shouted him out for the second show because he's waiting to get his website finished But that doesn't matter you can still check him out Westminster stamp also hates catch up. I'm pretty sure he's a good dude Brandon O'Connor I think I'm still going to pay him for my going away sign.

Yeah, I'm waiting for him in invoice So if you want to maybe I just lost it, but Brandon send me another invoice and I will pay you there you go Um, so Brandon grandsons, which one of the three of you will make the best father Which is most likely to have their hypothetical child taken away by the government and I'm going to go the opposite way of the peppers And I think there's absolutely no question in my mind. I will be the best father of the three of us I agree. I think Stephanie's the one who's losing his child I think just on the basis of the week alone. Yeah.

Oh, I'm like live stream video It won't be anything that you do step in like I don't think that you would be an irresponsible father when it comes to like doing fatherly Yes, it's like that you do yourself It's like it's in the like yeah exactly where I'll be super I'll be a terrible father for sure I was thought I don't know I'm assuming this is all a theory right now. It's just theory craft But I'm assuming Uh when you have a child you're like way less time to like smoke weed and jack off So I'm kind of thinking like Like I don't know if I stop depends how old they are well once you have a child you won't be having that much sex So I think the jerking awful say the same yeah, but isn't it like you have less time to do it and you're like exhausted all the time That's really you could probably still like smoke weed at night after you took them into bed and stuff I guess so but then you put it the baby right you don't want to like wake up in the middle of the night and you're like oh I'm really high. I just jacked off to something my like refractory here I don't smoke weed and I don't drink and I have a job. So you'll be the responsible.

Oh, yeah And I also well I'm also great with kids I'm gonna get to the baby whisperer. I'm pretty good with kids. I think for the most part. Yeah, I was telling the story before Yeah, this is pretty good.

No, this is actually I actually was pretty good with them. Yeah, it was a scary moment Yeah, uh, I've talked in the past about how I occasionally work as a mascot for the local country radio station Uh, if they're having some sort of contest you need to get out there and find jewel the cash cow She's gonna be the one who has your money in your tickets, right? Who was jewel the cash cow? Well, that's me in a enormous cow costume.

I am using like foolish games. No, I just I I moo I'm not allowed to speak. I just moo. You have a good shake my head or I'm not or I give a thumbs up or thumbs down, right?

You have a good timber for mooing. Yeah, I feel like you're very convincing. Yeah, I'm not gonna do it right now No, that's not you don't have to because I feel like it'd be too noisy. Well, it would also be that um people would bully you.

Yeah, about it That's the number one thing. Yeah, that's the main thing. No more bullying. I'm wearing a I put a pink shirt on half through I appreciate that here.

I appreciate the solidarity. I got you. You continue like this. Maybe you will eventually be unblocked I mean, I'm still gonna bully you, but I don't think other people should but it is my right to bully you as your co-host Occasionally when we have concerts at the station whether it's in the lounge or a patio party or what have you I get brought in to dress up in the cow costume Um, which of which there was a hilarious video of me In the costume reading the newspaper that kcjo posted earlier this week Yeah, uh, but regardless Like people just as they're taking a station tour they round the corner and I'm sitting on the couch in the costume reading a paper Super casual like this is how the office is all the time.

Sure people love it. They think it's super funny There was a couple that was uh at the station. So wait today's way pay you to just sit there and and read a paper Yeah, that's pretty great. I sweat like oh, I'm gonna.

I'm as soon as fucking unbelievable. Oh, sorry. I just thought you meant you sweat like Um, but there was a couple there at the show this week who came in and they had their baby with them Sure, and a lot of people want photos with the cow of course And this couple wanted a photo of their baby with the cow as you do and they gave me the baby when I was in the suits And I imagine your she's just like held it out to me. Yeah, my visibility is not good I'm looking out the nostrils of the cow costume And so it's like it's like wearing blinders on I can see a very narrow like imagine if your field of vision was cut by 85 basically so I could see the baby when she held it out to me But as soon as it was like in the area where I needed to take it I couldn't see it anymore Uh, and they had enough faith in me apparently to just give this child to me And I have never been more terrified in the mascot costume before even when I was getting beaten up by eight-year-olds at Plainland back in June like, you know, that something might happen to them or so or it might not But whatever they're doing I was out of my control when I'm holding a baby if the baby falls That's my fault even if I can't see what I'm doing technically I think oh definitely yeah, that's very scary The most valuable precious thing that someone can give me and I can't see what I'm doing with it at all So if you had to raise a child while you were like you had to wear the cow costume for 18 years straight How long would be the best choice?

How long would the child die like the child would die? The baby apparently loved it though. He like nuzzled into me by all accounts I couldn't see that but that was happening. I felt like he was trying to squirm free and fall to the ground I was actually quite scared but their parents were very happy and thought it was horrible So in my idea here I would assume that Justin is wearing the cow costume constantly and His wife or significant other is like not wearing a costume and can like take care of the baby and do like You know changing diapers and that's our thing.

But with a kid the kid for like several years would think you wear a cow Probably yeah, uh, which would be really funny. I think that's a good prank to play on I just think if I can be good with a kid when I'm in a cow costume and can't see anything I probably would be pretty good with a kid in my normal clothes when I can see things too probably You have to get a job. I feel like the closest thing I get to this would be like if I had a kid in wore a hat The entire time they were like for 18 years straight. I never took my hat off That's like my dad basically he went bald and he's like well, I just live in a hat now Um, but yeah, just as a general rule if you have a baby and you see a mascot out there don't give your baby to the master No, no, that's the parents.

Extremely irresponsible. Um, okay, number one question. This is a great question By the way, this was 600 points, uh, Luke soparis DJ laid back Luke at peculiar ski long time listener long time good question Ask her he asks you're in the marketing department of a struggling NHL team and you need to come up with a Nathan for you style promotion What's your idea? And I think I have the right answer, but you guys can go if you if you feel good about it All right, so I'm still working on thinking of struggling teams one of the ones that comes to mind certainly in terms of struggling with attendance is the Arizona coyotes.

Okay, yeah, good choice there. Uh, so my Nathan for you promotion idea is that one night the starting lineup is coyotes Like animal coyotes and they put little jerseys on them and then they eat the other team They have to play the entire name. No, they're just no, they're just starting line up And then they hurt one of the play like they we let them injure the other team and then we come on the ice That's how Nathan would pitch. Yeah, like it'd be like I think it's a good idea because you would have the coyotes They would likely attack the other team and then you could bring your real players on and win.

So yeah, so I would say yeah I think you should start. Yeah, so the Arizona coyotes start real coyotes I would like I think the attendance for that game would sell out who wouldn't watch that I would want to be in the building for that. Absolutely. Yeah, I was there the night the coyotes mauled whoever the opposing goalie is.

Yeah, absolutely Um, I would say I would do like a throw I would pitch it as like a throwback night like a vintage night where They get rid of like the netting behind the glass the glass is a lot lower and you're encouraged and allowed to like throw stuff at the players And it just gets like super violent and you you market it as like slap shot night or something and we're gonna use our like super cheap It's gonna say it's gonna be the 10 10 percent beer night Essentially it'll be 10 10 beer night, but for hockey and like you're encouraged to like fight and it's like You know it's throwback night basically To celebrate like the anniversary of slap shots theatrical release or whatever. Yeah, or slap shot twos My my friend was in slap shot I think three the junior league and it was when they made it was they said it was the kids of the Hanson brothers and he played the illegitimate asian son toe Hanson And uh, yeah, it was pretty cool. His brother rented out fifth avenue cinemas and screened it And we did like a screening and everyone wore suits and stuff. That's awesome He's only in the movie for like 10 minutes, but it was pretty rad.

Uh, well the team I'm going to choose Uh, I don't know how badly they're struggling attendance wise Uh lately, but they're definitely they've fallen off from what they used to be which is a perennial contender powerhouse for almost two decades It's the Detroit red wings and they themselves had a wonderful PR day today by uh or yesterday I guess it was they came out against the bastardization of their logo Uh by neo-nazis at this rally that the girl got killed at Uh, there's like a faction of nazis called the Detroit right wings Who turned the Detroit red wings logo into like a bunch of swastikas basically sure in like the axle of the wheel It's all swastikas creative Such a graphic designers over there But the thing is One of the things that will always be remembered from the horrific events of yesterday is that the Detroit red wings came out with a more Damming statement of the incident faster much faster than like the president of the united states himself Which I think if anything probably means that can't hollens should be president at some point Uh, yeah, they should use this as his launching point for his political campaign No, uh, they should they should keep it going. They got a lot of great PR out of coming out against neo-nazis But let's let's have like a uh an antifa night at I guess whatever their new arena is now that joe lewie is is done Yeah, the little caesar's arena. I will have a big antifa night there where you know, you're encouraged to come and uh, there's a bunch of like Uh fascist mascots that the children can beat up and oh I like that like mousse liena I like strichamap hitler pinatas and stuff. We're just gonna beat the shit out of nazis I think that's what we all night long I like the idea of of kids coming to a sporting event and seeing a bunch of hitlers and fasheasheas Encouraged to beat them.

Yeah, that's what kids want to do anyways. Is that what they want? Yeah, I think so I'm gonna kind of spiral off your idea. Absolutely.