107: If Boyfriends Are Embarrassing, Divorce Is Self-Respect [Why Women Go To Therapy Series]

In this game-changing episode of The Zero Disturbance Podcast, Kambria Evans continues the "Why Women Go to Therapy" series with a profound conversation on marriage, identity, and the transformative power of EMDR therapy. Drawing from over a decade of clinical experience, she explores how so many women enter marriage carrying generational programming, internalized shame, and false beliefs about what makes them "good" or "successful." In light of the recent Vogue article suggesting that “having a boyfriend is embarrassing now,” this episode offers a particularly timely lens for re-thinking relational norms. While the Vogue article highlights how in today’s culture many women are publicly distancing themselves from the traditional badge of “partner status”—and instead choosing identity, autonomy, and self-defined value, its time that divorce also got a rebrand.  Through the story of a fictional client, Betsy, we illustrate how therapy—especially EMDR—can bring clarity, reduce emotional disturbance, and empower women to reevaluate long-held narratives. We challenge the outdated stigma around divorce and offer a bold reframe: divorce, for many women, is not a failure—it's an act of self-respect. Listeners will hear an honest exploration of: - Why EMDR is so effective in helping women find clarity in relationships - The "branding of marriage" vs. the reality behind closed doors - Four essential belief buckets used in EMDR to assess relationship health - How societal and family programming creates inner conflict around leaving - Why Self-led decisions—grounded in worth, safety, and power—must guide our biggest life choices   Whether you're navigating a relationship, contemplating a major life shift, or supporting a friend through divorce, this episode offers deep insights and compassionate validation. Its important to remind us: clarity is healing, and choosing yourself is never something to be ashamed of.    Quote to Remember:  "Divorce, when chosen from a place of self-worth and clarity, is not a failure—it’s an act of self-respect."   The Zero Disturbance podcast is for educational purposes and is not a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or individualized mental health or medical care. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.   Come learn with us at Zero Disturbance:  Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook    We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.   Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle,  https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources   With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.