108 {Coen Tan} How family violence casts a shadow on adulthood

Trigger warning: this episode discusses suicide and family violence. If you feel you need someone to talk to, call lifeline on 13 11 14.By now you know how I feel about Family Violence. This is something we need to eradicate completely.The effects of family violence on survivors can reach through decades of life and that was very much the case for this episodes guest, Coen Tan.Growing up as an emotionally sensitive child, Coen often “felt” emotions that people were not aware of feeling themselves. This is already a difficult path to navigate, but through in family violence, shaming and isolation and Coen had a cocktail of challenges that he only really began to confront in his adult life.Now, Coen is a professional speaker, Cultural Transformation and Values Assessment Consultant and Appreciative Inquiry Practitioner and he works with people to tap into their values and help their innate gifts to flourish.In this episode they share:How he was sensitive to others emotions as a childHow his own emotions were brushed off or disregarded as a childHis experience with domestic violence as a childHow his emotions turned to anger and that anger stayed with him through adulthoodThe fact he became his mums surrogate husband for emotions at the age of 10The bullying he experienced in school and how that made him ‘lose his voice’What the combination of these experiences did to his thoughts about himselfHow this impacted the types of relationships he sought out as an adult The point where he considered suicideHis experience being in the mental health instituteThe course he undertook that changed things for himHow an addiction to the emotional highs of seminars and workshops lost him his life savingsHow he came full circle and reclaimed his voiceKey Quotes“I was hiding away from the emotional challenges I had in school.”“Every experience that happens to us are there to teach us lessons and there to serve us in a certain way.”“I had to move back with my parents because I was broke. Because I was addicted to that spiritual escape.”More about CoenYou can find out more about Coen via his website: www.coentan.comYou can listen to his podcast here: https://www.coentan.com/podcast/You can get involved with the podcast onlineTo try out our resilience course: https://www.challengesthatchangeus.com/surviving-2-thriving-course1On facebook in our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/challengesthatchangeus Or on Instagram: @challengesthatchangeusIf you want to contact the podcast, email us here: [email protected] Or check out our website: www.Challengesthatchangeus.comIf you want to find out more about what Ali does, check out her business via the website: http://www.trialtitudeperformance.com.auFor her other business you can find it through the websites: www.altitudefitnessarmidale.com.au Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.