Puts the night before Christmas went all through the tavern, not a beer was pouring, not even an old-fashioned. The skateboards were hung by the chimney with cat in hopes the landlord would soon be there. The listeners were nestled or snug in their beds, and the visions of turbo sports radio played in their heads. Welcome to Turbo Sports Radio Ho Ho Ho, episode number 109, the Christmas Special.
Thank you very much, John. I mean, we give them a hard time and we give them a stage in a hard time, don't we? But at least we made an effort to give us a lovely introduction. Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, I did have a little tear coming from my eye, he's just that, just beautiful.
It's just so hard to see the o'crian. Yeah, because obviously you can't be here on Friday. But you weren't pouring down my cheeks now, beautiful beautiful message from John O'Lare. Yeah, he's still on the naughty list.
Yeah, obviously he's still on the naughty list. I mean, as it last minute with Price Day, he tried to redeem himself, but he's still looking at him thinking that half of a year. Maybe if he puts him to treat St. Christmas Eve time, he might get a little funny, he depends on what he put in our name.
Exactly, what's John O'Lare putting in his Christmas hand? Exactly, that's what St. Reese's name. Well, yeah, thanks everyone for tuning in.
This is Terence What's Radio, the Christmas works do. We have a couple of smokes and we'll do the Congo. Yeah, we did the Congo. Oops, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up.
Sambusses, I am the music man. Some other things, everything. Yeah, so we haven't got my arse as well. Nice, yes.
You can't say I want to copy our work on my arse in a minute. There's no structure, anything goes, there's no whole bar. Is there no structure? So there is a structure when you're not, yeah, oh, it's carefully scripted.
It's going on piece today. No structure. But you normally have a structure. Yeah, they're all so, yeah.
We can tell how well we've done. When you're stuck to the story, there's six beers we're drinking. I mean, that's a structure. Yeah, exactly.
So we're going to bring some old concepts back that never actually saw the light of day. So the listeners should enjoy it. The classic, the first Christmas special, you'll get to... Yeah, it's a lot of levels.
We've reincarnated it today and we're going to talk about those topics. So once we get straight into this world, we'll just ask people before we went on, yeah, there was a little thing we wrote down there with A about what concepts we can talk about and what subjects. It was the All Stars Santa's Mate. So Santa Raul starts the best centers of all time.
And obviously I wrote anything down apart from All Stars Santa's Mate. My favourite sound is off. My favourite sound is a sound there from South Park. And my favourite little scene, if you will, is Im and Jesus doing a little karaoke together and he sings, The name is Rio, weren't you?
That is unzoned! And it's a nice touch. Either favourite of mine, and also there's an episode where you get to shopping out and start shooting critters. Which is critters.
He fucks the critters up. So that's a favourite of mine. Can you think of anyone, Matt? Any Santa that kind of...
You've got to see the cast of mine. You've got to see the cast of mine. The Ring's A Slazer Bell. The Santa that Slazer Bell for me would be able to...
What's his face? Well, Millicon 34th Street. Ring's brother. Dinosaur man.
Oh, yeah, proper Santa. What's his fucking name? Super Amber Grouberts. Rich of it.
Yeah. Rich of it. Rich of it. And Rick of it from Millicon 34th Street.
That was a good Santa. That is a good Santa. Yeah, that is a good Santa. It could actually be Santa Claus.
Yeah. That's what I'm thinking with. He's probably one of a handful of people that you ain't really going to argue with. Yeah, you could argue with that.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Nod called it a said he is Santa. That's it. Because he's obviously going to be filming in the fucking summer monster, shouldn't he?
Because he's, he's like, he's the always working. He's got paid a rent for the old pub rent. Yeah, so he's obviously, he's obviously gigging. He's expensive out there.
And I imagine like David is his brother. He knows about animals and shit. So if anyone knows about animals and shit, he'll be like five pieces of the grub, wouldn't he? Well, so you're talking about reindeers.
So he knows that. Yeah, so he said, that's why he said, oh, I need some things to fly my sleigh. David would like, fuck out reindeers. Because they're magic and shit.
They'd probably fight a sleigh and shit. Little side note on the old reindeers, I was listening to, um, Rogan and Neil deGrasse Tyson talk about reindeers every day. Oh yeah. And Neil deGrasse Tyson's all right.
He's sometimes like, he fucking runs in a long way sometimes. He's a bit of a, you know, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a proper, but he does know all, but like he is a know all. But he was talking about the, um, the reindeers, like Rudolph and everyone thinks that he's a boy. They're all, I think they're all females because in the winter months, reindeers, um, shed their antlers.
Oh, so if you saw reindeer flying in the winter, it wouldn't be a, like, it'd be, because they get rid of them, but their females keep theirs at their antlers. So, so Rudolph is a lady. Makes sense. So top tip for you, you know, if you needed to know if Rudolph was a lady or not, you heard it here.
Second. I was worried about that. Do you want to? I was sexually attracted to it and I didn't want to be gay.
Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I'm not a shit fan, I'm not a shit fan of my turn.
Well, yeah, I mean, he could look and know his name. No, no, no, shouldn't really. No, he's antlers. It's one of them though.
It is one of them. You know, we're not going to go too deep into this. This is a fucking off the cuff topic. But the classic, like, you know, you've got the Thai lady boys, you know, and they really fucking, you know, there's a business forum.
It's a live, you know, everything. Yeah. You know, if you do, if you did find one attractive, you know, and you found out that it was different section you were expecting to be, surely it should be much of a problem. Do you know what I mean?
You should just kind of just go along with it. I know you might not necessarily want to touch another cock or something. That's just a bit of work, but if you were attracted, I think I should really worry about it too, which you should just go along with it. Yeah.
And maybe pull it to, and pull someone and have a, you know, have a smoosh or something. But if you don't want to go that far, you don't have to go that far. Wings are back in. Yeah.
Oh, no, I don't think, I don't think, yeah. If you find someone attractive, you find someone attractive, don't you? Yeah. I think if you don't, I don't know, I think if you got over there, there was a winkle there, deal with it at a point in time, wouldn't you?
Yeah. I think it's because then I guess there's some, some people, you know, there's all different fucking reasons and there's over religious reasons or personal moral reasons. I thought I said it was just a little bit, isn't it? Yeah.
But I think, but generally if it's that, if that love is love, if you find someone attractive, you find someone attractive, then if you find someone attractive, then, if you find them attractive, then you pull them and then you need to come home. And then suppose you're, when the pants come down and you feel like you want to proceed, you can do it. And if the pants come down and then at that point you realize you don't, then obviously you realize that that's cool. Yeah.
I mean, that's consent around and then they know what you're forcing someone they want to do. So I think the first thing with the, with the, the hidden winkle, you know, what's it say that, you know, or they can't say, well, fucking hell mate, we probably, keep pulling back here. It's kind of a whole other thing. Consent work.
Yeah. Everybody has to be consenting. Yeah. I think, he's one of those things I guess as well, because you're not people that are pansexual and then if people are just attracted to, is it like, is it personal?
Get the person. Yeah. It's not, they're not attracted to sex or an image or sex. Yeah.
It's more the magic in your eyes, mate. You know what I mean? It's, yeah. So yeah, just an interesting thought there, you know, it's like, it's one of them.
So you only, you only know when you get there. Yeah. You only know when you really, really kind of go down. So you get back and then I got bigger than yours.
You feel inadequate. You beat them up. Five sellers and beat them up. And then cry.
Thank God. That's all we've been saying. No, this is, yeah, exactly. That's definitely not.
Definitely not. Don't fucking, don't go through our fucking terrible time of feeding 30 years, time and time, get us a cancer when we make it super starts. Or death be 30 yourself, probably, get out of your ass. You're fucking one, I think you're a shit.
Yeah. We're just saying, love his love and don't fucking worry about it. If you do get in that situation, you love him or you feed fancy him. Sam fucking love his time, that's all he's saying.
Yeah, I agree. You brought up his, uh, it's a lady. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying.
You brought up his lady. Don't fucking worry about it. Yeah. Will, you know, throw it over to you, mate.
You got a Santa in mind that you've always had a, you know, in a vacuation with or, you know, just somebody really thought that, you know, that's my Santa. So you're gonna have to help me out with a proper name, the actor's name. Fucking, the film is called The Santa Claus or Santa Claus. It's not that old, it's probably around her.
Go ahead. Early 2000. Tim, Tim Allen, Tim Allen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, it's not you. Yeah. Where he's turned to the toilet. He's gonna kill Mantella.
Yeah. Doesn't he kill Santa Ross? Santa falls off his roof. Yeah.
I think Santa, yeah. The Santa. Yeah, essentially, yeah. Yeah, he's a little boy.
He's got to be split up from his wife. There's a little back story, but he's a little boy with a stain with him for Christmas. And he thought, yeah, it's something on the roof. And Tim Allen's like, oh, stay in here.
I'll give him my gun. And he obviously makes him noise. Santa has a little slip. He falls down.
He falls on the floor. And then he looks, goes to look to it is. And inside he pulls out his business card. And then the business card is like whoever fucking kills Santa.
Wherever when he gets his cards, you're on our Santa. But yeah, that's a basic premise. And then for the following year, he's just becoming Father Christmas. Yeah.
I had a good, you know, I watched that. I watched that. I think it's gross straight back. It's a good child.
Child Santa Claus film knows you'll be happy if you Tim Allen come down and you gave your own presents. I would be anyway. He gave me a bus like I would be. Yeah.
He starts off a bit gruff as well, then he's like, he's like, he's going down to Santa. He's putting all his, he's knocking her trees over, pulling her fucking canoes and she out his bag and the little girl wakes up and he's like, if you want to play, play, go back to fucking sleep. Go back to it. But then the next year, following the year after he's filled himself up for the cookies and cream, he is always loving a kizennies full on Santa Claus, isn't it?
Yeah, red cheeks, everything. Red cheeks, big pussy beard. Yeah, it's a good one. It's a TV series of that now as well.
Ah, well not a TV worker. Is it? Yeah, it's like a Disney class. It's a nice series.
It's like a Christmas series. Yeah. Just the one that's really popped into my head quick. I don't know if you guys have seen it, but there's a future armor episode where there's the robot Santa.
Yeah. We just fucking everyone up. What's your name? And they have to take him out.
What's your dirty motherfucker? No, he's like a robot Santa. Yeah, robot Santa, but he's like everybody's not the NA. So he's just doing it on the naughty list.
Everyone's on the naughty list. In Christmas, you have to like hide and like put it proof vest and shit. Nice. And I'd robot Kwanzi robot on as well, didn't it?
Yeah, it's a good one. So just just just a few in it. We just bought ourselves a little drink. Christmas tip.
Obviously this isn't a Turbo Tapping. You know, this is a the Turbo Tapping is a different location. We're just having a do. We've got the old tiny rebels.
Top was it triple? Tropical triple. Tropical cat. Oh, it's a tropical teapia.
Tippa teapot. We 10% or something here. I'm pretty sure it was 10%. It's a 10th birthday beer.
It's white on blue. Yeah, 10%. Yeah, 10% on smack on the nose 10. Um, don't taste like 10.
No, it tastes. It tastes. It is a Christmas tree. It tastes very similar to a classic Tropica.
I think maybe a bit more thick. Yeah, yeah, much thicker, but oh, you got to keep yourself in check with one of them. Because you could eat easily. Could you slide that down a bit too quick?
Easy. Yeah, you could eat in the top of a coffee. It's a 440 can, but you can whack that 440 can back in one go and then sort of reloshing your mistake afterwards. Yep.
Great. It's light. It's got a classic classic citrusy noses. Served in a mug, because we're in a a new establishment called Mugs of Plenty and they serve all their drinks in mugs.
Yeah. It's quite into place. It's a good handle, isn't it? It's a good handle, isn't it?
That's what we came here. Yeah. Yeah. So what have you got there, then, mate?
So I just rolled up a little, I got a nice little selection. I just rolled up one. It's by a brand called Next Friday. And it is called Animal Ice Mints.
Nice. It's 24%. It's a mixture of animal mints and ice cream cake. Really nice.
Now, ice cream cake makes it appear a lot, didn't it? It does. You know, I love any type of cake. So I've got to be smoking on some cake.
Yeah. It's not to say that, I mean, you might be a big cake, love of will, as in like, normal cake. I wouldn't say I'm not the biggest cake man of all time. Like, I'll have a slice of cake.
I'll eat a whole cake and then go like, I'll fuck sake. Boy, I'll eat a whole cake. But I didn't have a birthday when mum bought me a cake. And then she got gave it me.
I don't want cake in my house. I really don't want cake in my house. And then I ended up eating the whole fucking lot after a roast dinner. But I don't know if you got to take it.
Got rid of the fucker. Got rid of it. But like, I'm not the biggest cake lover. Obviously you go for a lot of the cakey weeds, mate.
Are your cake lovers? Are you a reason why you like it? Was it more like the sweetness that you're getting through it? Yeah, I guess it's just that cake smoke flavour that I really like.
I do love a cake, mate. But not as much as I like my smoking cakes. Yeah, the smoking cake's got a better flavour, I think, than cake cake. Less than great afterwards as well.
Yes. Massively. Well, to be fair, unless you've like, you haven't been smoking a while and you fucking just have a massive, massive drag of probably that sort of stuff, I'm sure you would be regretting that. Yeah, if you're under the covers, you watch the episode, Rickamorty and if I don't need the covers.
Yeah, this is 24.5% THC. So what's that in real money, Will? For a non-smoke review, Will, someone doesn't know the science behind it. We're saying it's a 10% beer.
You weren't drinking anything really. Beer-wise, it's stronger than this. Yeah. This is only for a Christmas episode.
Where's that con over on the scale? For England and just in general, it's, you know, it's, if it was on the beer level, if we're just talking about kind of beers, it's probably up there between like a six, it's probably around a 7%er. It's probably around a 7%er. Right, yeah.
And if it's in, you know, 10, you can go up a bit more, but it's more rare. You know what I mean? You can go up to almost 34, but you're not really getting any higher than that. And if someone's claiming 34, it's going to be hard to actually know if they've got that.
Yeah, I mean, with the 10%, it's like, when we were in New York in that kind of fucking craft beer place that we'd got to fight in. I don't know. They had like, I had the five in beer, which I think it might be like a 60%. Yeah, it was high.
It was high. It didn't taste very good. I mean, 10 is kind of where, that is still a really good beer. Yeah, yeah.
That's actually surprisingly good at 10. Yeah, well, I think it's, well, that's what I do with any of it. Again, they've got a club shop already. All they've done is they just sort of ramped up a bit.
So, you know, they've got a decent beer. I mean, we said this before, sometimes you can just think, I'm going to make a 10% beer. Get the alcohol off there and then think I'll worry about it. Flavors afterwards, only getting people ready to get in P or R'd A or C twice.
That's your official term for it as well. The appearing R'd A or C twice. That could be the name of your next novel make, didn't it? Yeah.
The period R'd A or C twice. The period R'd A or C twice. Right. Yeah, of course it's a who- Yeah, yeah.
Who drunk it? Who drunk it, yeah. It weren't me. Yeah.
I didn't touch that. Shout to your iron bin. Yeah, because I haven't quite an experienced writer too fair. Not to mark my own mash.
Yeah. I'm quite an experienced writer. Yeah. We've got any more Father Christmases that we were all about.
Yeah, just do one more round each. We can think of something. I'm just trying to think, all I've got on my head. He isn't, I'm not a Santa if you will, but I've got Wayne Knight.
He is in, is he Santa in Home Alone? Where he goes to the point where he's with dinner? And he gives, I'm calling Colton a few little, you know Wayne Knight. No, no, no, no, no.
New York. Yeah, just like that. Yeah. Yeah, he gives him, yeah, he gives McCauley some tiktacks or something like that.
And he says, don't spoil your dinner. And then McCauley, a little cunt that is, puts it on his spaghetti bolognese, whatever he's eating in the evening. He kind of sprinkles the room in his dinner. Yeah.
Oh yeah. Your bastard. I got his disrespect on it. You know, he's being- Bang out.
Yeah, exactly. I don't know if that is Wayne Knight or not. No, it is Wayne Knight, but I don't know if he's Santa in it. I don't know if he's Santa or an elf or something.
Right. Like maybe I should do. I'll quickly do. I'll do what you think of- Oh, he's like, oh, no, I've a blooming Christmas.
It used to be a book. It used to be that note. It's kind of like the snow you managed to remember it. The artwork is really good in that.
That is kind of what Santa looks like. Yeah. It's actually a really nice talking other Santa, the one from Knight Mobile Christmas. That book is kind of like a nicer version of that Santa.
You know, like a nice solid kind of body weight to him, but just more, you know, fluffier any of that. Yeah. He's a nicer. He's going on his own aegle or something, any?
He's a no-be-quismus. Yeah, yeah, he's a-booming-quismus. I don't know what a book is. I don't know what a book is.
I know what a book plays, cool, that Ause-Be-Katon, and that's quite good. Yeah. See if I can find it. I'm surely saying something other than I could have made a snowman's or something.
No, but... That's what I think it is. I think it is that artwork, but that's what I got on my head anyway. It's the snowman artwork.
You've probably just watched Far REMS now. Really? I'm trying to think now. We'll just wait for the suspense in this way.
Knight want to come through, aren't we? He wasn't Santa after all. Metal's in there. Another blooming Christmas.
It's just the book we just called Far REMS, there. Is this a boy? Can you see that? Yeah.
Far REMSS. Yeah, as a good old cat. Yeah, well I typed in way Knight Santa and fuckers coming up, so let's just, he's stricken from the record that I made. Alright, so we've got another blooming Christmas, Father Christmas.
Yeah, we'll put Knight, Mother Christmas in it as well. No, no Christmas in it. Well, yeah, didn't he say today really? He did say Dave was alright.
We've got Tim Allen, Glamen, Father Christmas, Father Christmas. We've got any other... That's quite good old stars, you know? That's good old stars.
I can't really think of any better sanners really, I can only think of not so good sanners. The meat of the ochre sanners. Here's a Santa image that I always have burned into my mind from school, primary school, probably similar for you, you know, every time it's near Christmas, you decorate maybe the classrooms, proper, you know, primary school days, and you might even be lucky enough to have a Santa come in school on like the last day and it gives everyone a little book. You know, yes, it's a bit isn't a book.
You open it up, it's a book, hopefully it's an alright one. But I can remember this Santa was an old boy, proper old, you know. I always used to think that Santa couldn't make it down to every school, so sometimes he sent in some of his veteran elves with the white un-graped beads. Well, that is a fucking, that's a good theory bro kid, because you're thinking he sure can't.
He's obviously weird, I'm not doubting that shit because I want the present. This big doesn't make sense. The 24th is falling on a Thursday and I'm still at school or something. So you can't be it.
He's got me sending something. And then you're thinking about maybe he is here because I'm that important. That's going to be fair, I am the most important person in the world, so he probably has come to see me here. Anyway, sorry, carry on, Will.
And some kid at school, Travis Baden, Paul Sanders-Bader, that's bang out on his own. That's definitely Christmas, it's not coming out. It's obviously a naughty boy, that's Travis. Then he completely get it off, did you say it happened or not?
Oh, everyone saw, because everyone went up to collect that present and Travis just gave this beard a big tug. But what I'm saying is that- It was an elastic beard. Then you go back and smack him back and back and back and back. It was a frickin' boy.
He's a fucking idiot. He's a fucking idiot. He's a fucking idiot. He's a fucking idiot.
Oh, come on now, he's back and it hits your lips and it's quite sensitive. You little cunt. Oh, no, it's not a kid. Was he someone's dad underneath and then I- Oh, it's fucking- I can't remember.
You used dad. There was a fresh face under that white beard. Oh, God. I mean, talking about shit-sanners, obviously, because I've got my little girl now and obviously come up to Christmas.
We met probably three sanders last weekend, because the Christmas lights going on in the local village and that. So he obviously had the Santa Claus that was at that. He came in on Thomas' tank engine, which I've been out of class to touch. He got his Thomas' tank engine mobile from somewhere and five of Christmas rides on that like a badass.
That is a fucking good collaboration. I think I've said before, I had the Thomas' tank engine duvet set. Oh, yeah, you're a fan. No, that's probably 50.
No, that's my old one. No, I did the much. Yeah. But I do like, you know, I was Thomas' fan.
Yeah, it's a good coat. He rides round the net. He might be like a mate. He rides round the world of villages, giving out sweets.
So I went down on it all the Facebook when he's coming out to Shen and food and you can have a little sweet off Thomas' style of Christmas. Nice. So we saw him, but we also had a Christmas duet with the nursery she goes to. So they had a Mr.
Maym now as well. He did all the classic songs for him. He did the music man. He did all the penguin coming to the tee and all that bullshit.
Nice. Not going to- I don't want to have my own mash, but I did get some haribos off him because I did the best penguin came for tee, left wing, right wing or back. Did he beat you or did he just give you that? He just handed it to me though.
He did. He did. He was the best penguin ever. Oh, I was saying, I've got fucking haribos.
I mean, I look like you're ruining it for the kids. No, I'm fucking the best. I've got haribos. You've got haribos.
So we saw that's on there. Sorry, if you were to be fed some haribos mate. What haribos would you want to be fed? I found that.
Fantastic. No, the one's a little white on a bit as well. I'd be like, sort of for fellow you won't be. Oh yeah, the foamy bit.
No, I mean, any fucking sweets. No, no, no. Like if you say I haven't got notes left, I'm not going to walk away, i'll be like, oh, I'll be like, well, I'll be like, well, I'll be like, well I'll be like, well, I'll be like, well, I'll be like, well, I'll be like, well, I'll be like, well, I'll be like, well, I'll be like, well, I'll be like, well. I'll be like, well, I will eat whatever sweets, if I come up in line.
I'll be like, well, I do. And then we saw one sound, then, we went to this thing, it's called a message Dad, it's where you take your fucking kids on a Saturday morning. And then they got a bouncy customer and toys and shit, they can play with. like a bouncy cast and toys and shit they can play with.
It's like volunteer, they wanna know the fucking volunteers and they're not gonna do it, but you do get a cup of coffee and a bacon sandwich. Oh, fuck you, I'm taking that down there on a Saturday morning. It's a bit Christiany, it's like run by the Baptist Church, but they're not forcing on you, they just got some books about Jesus, they're happy to read them, but you don't have to read them. Well, you can still read all that shit, like it's ever born with religion.
Yeah, it's just like, you can go in there, enjoy it, you need to use it, you know, you don't have to go like, oh yeah, he did actually walk in there, you know, because he was on a rock. Yeah, it says other stuff, but anyway, I mean that shit's all there. And they're not forcing it for you, and they got a bouncy cast and bacon sandwich and coffee. So if you're looking for religion, you can't really go wrong with that.
Anyway, that's how fuck I'm gonna do this. And so Father Christmas came in there again. He's obviously wanna help us, but he was like, he was a skinny man, that's what I'm saying. He wasn't a big man, he was a skinny man, he was a skinny sander, but the beard was attached to the hat, but he hadn't sort of like pulled it down to the beard.
It was just like, the beard was covering his face. It was like covering his face. Yeah, so it was like, it was like a kid's just sort of looking at that. That's quite frightening, because you're just a hat with a beard.
Where's Wally sort of Santa? That just doesn't make sense. The thing of the Adams family, but Christmas version. So of the level, really, it probably would have been that Santa.
Oh, the free we see so far. She went to Grandad to go to fucking Millies, though, and he was a top class one there. Oh yeah. That was the money, that was the money, Santa.
Premium Santa boys. It was a premium Santa, I'm premium Santa. I'm taking her to the fucking free Santa's. Well, I said that, the top is a tankade, you're a one pound 50 for a duck fellow, where he's bats, bats, he's dog, he's a dog, he's sporting, I'll give him fucking buns for that.
I didn't take her to your fucking 50 quid Millies, I mean, that's money. Anyway, so you're buying a cake, you're going to have to buy a slice of cake, mate, which of course you bought quid. And a coffee, so obviously you're a coffee man, because that's about your religion. Now, I'm taking sandwich obviously because of Millies, and I also have to eat her cake and my cake, because I buy a piece of cake, because she's saying, I like that one.
Yes, that's cos she's going to eat my cake. And you're going to buy some cheese, and you're going to buy some beer. You probably should. I'll eat my cake, and then she'll say, I don't like my cake, I want that cake instead.
And then I'll have to eat her first piece of cake that she did like after me buying it, because she said that's what she did like, and then I have to buy a fucking nub of cake, which she's fucking, it's half of. Now, so I'll have to have two and a half pieces of cake before the days you've started. That could be, that's seven odd quid there, mate. Seven odd quid.
That's seven odd fucking pound, and fucking flesh around my shoulder. That's where I'm getting a fat belly again. There you go. So anyway, so is that Santa?
And then it was the Mr. Mayhem and his date, Santa. He was a quite good Santa. As a combo, he was missing a name of Santa together.
You took that. He really would have peaked it, because he had Thomas. It's that Thomas Santa combo, that was the king of Santa. He's a legitimiser, you bring Thomas to Tank Engine.
He's done a fight. I know he's not caught the fat control anymore, but he was a fat control when I was growing up. And I loved him. I fucking loved the fat control.
He was one of my... I was just gonna call down it. Just to control it. Dave, Pete, Pete, the killer.
Yeah, Dave, Dave, it's Dave about. Oh, it was trouble. We need the fat, just Dave, it's Dave here. We just need to, can we just get Dave?
Do you mean the fat? No, no. There's no boy. There's no boy that my dad was friends with.
He used to go up the pub, local pub. And for some reason, I knew him when I was really young, and I called him the fat control. I was taking a piss out of him. Like, he was like the fat control.
I fucking loved it. I'm getting him. I'm a Thomas man. I ain't slagging anyone off.
I'll take Gordon's a little bit boring, but I'm slagging him off. He's got to do his job. He's got to do his job. He's been selling it.
I know he's like fucking Thomas, and I really respected the fat control. So I'd call this all the fat control. And even when I was going up, and then I started drinking up there, I wouldn't call him the fat control. But he would come up and say, fat control has sort of been doing it.
Do you still remember the fat control? I was like, yeah, it was a nice, it was a nice thing to me. People would take the fat and they kind of killed the fat control. I didn't know.
Yeah, they kind of just, you know, he got a little bit too, it's probably someone who wasn't fat, who wasn't a controller, got a force on someone else. And then they just changed up. And it's like, well, no one got offended by that. Because if you were the fat control, like he's a good role, man.
He's a good role. He was a controller and you were a fucking laugh in that man, weren't you? Yeah, women, money, fucking power suits. No suit and shit.
He was a fat controller in like, like, late 70s, early 80s. You're dripping him. You're dripping him. You're dripping him.
You're dripping him. Yeah, yeah. He could have, yeah. Where you want to be a bad cop?
He could have done a lot, wouldn't he? He could have took everything he wanted. Fat control was delivered in the dream, that then. He's rolling, he's rolling on the back of Thomas.
He's a fucking turn up on Thomas. Right, right. Right, Thomas was taking it. You're shooting away, what?
He was doing fucking Annabelle and Clarence, the fucking two coaches. He's like, the fucking dog do what he wanted, mate. He was a kid. Yeah, those coaches would be all over him.
They would be fucking, yeah, we never can. You're whipping away, everyone. Then it's slick, when it just slick as fuck. Oh god, they just took a smoke.
Run so smooth. Everything's gone off for two weeks. He's done fun too. Where did he go on today?
Oh, wait, that's cool. Sorry, I finally just found out he was on a two week. Yeah, he's a two week holiday. Everything dries up at the station.
He turns up, everyone's that fucking two weeks. He's whipping away when I try to get him. He's fucking, yeah, it's just everything. Everything is slick.
Moist is perfect though, not dirty. It's not dirty or anything. It's clear. No, it's just everything's just easy.
Smooth, everything's a smooth motion. There's no fucking friction. No. It's all always lovely.
And that's what we need. That's why there's so many strikes these days because we don't get any fat controls. If they just said to them as strikers, they said, look, we're bringing back. We bring the fat controller back.
That's what we need because he's fucking money dripping in money. Money's just fucking falling in there. Exactly. He's fucking distributing the money out to the workers.
Any money cunt. But you need that man. You need someone to facilitate that role, mate. You need someone to come in there.
Because they can't act fat controller. Be a controller. Yeah, control everything. They're only the person in money and the power.
You need that's what he was controlling. You've got these fucking cunts up the top just fucking holding on the money way. Where's the pussy? There's the money.
Is it? Yeah, fucking just keeping it on the fucking. I mean, it's always said to me the fact that he says, it's PM people like me. It's always PM people.
It's always, it's always fair, you know. Exactly. You always said it. He's always telling.
He's got a tag on his duty. He's showing me. He's showing me. Yeah, it was nice.
He reminds me when I said, OK. Sorry, I don't want to lie. Just go and tell it with me, Ryan. I just want to tell you something.
Look how smooth he looks now, right? The person we showed me was going to show me what she was going to say. And then, once he's talking to me with that, oh, it is. And then he said, you ever seen one of these before?
I was like, look closer. Is that a QP, the P, P, P, P on P. Maybe this is why the fact control is this plug. Yeah, no, no, I'm looking for anything.
He didn't force me to do anything. But yeah, he didn't force you, mate, but that is a power van. That's what they say now. I mean, that copacio, though.
Might be good, but... That sparkle. Yeah, it might be the reason now, actually, well, he might be on to the potential reasons why the fact controller was asked to leave, to roll. Probably the same person complaining about his name.
Yeah, and couldn't imagine so. Yeah, complaining about him making voice in the face, Kootch. The thing is, if we have an conversation and we're in Bangkok or Amsterdam or something, I saw a cheap fucking tattoo parlor. I'd be getting PMP on P.M.P.
on P.M.P. Definitely. P.M.P. I'd definitely get it done and hope that my wife never found out.
Right. What are you walking for? No reason, no reason. Just a bit of old jockett, she's fine.
Give me some extra socks. I don't even know what you're talking about. No, I'm talking about Chris Baggle. Yeah, you're talking about how good...
You did, Thomas, Chris, Thomas Baggle, Chris Baggle, Chris Baggle. That's a fucking bang on, they got all the way up in the middle of that. Yeah. Oh.
Well, let's read, should we shift gears here? We're obviously talking about every Santa's. We did speak on the previous Christmas episode about our... Let's do it all stars...
Play. Christmas, Christmas Day. Fuck the stars. We don't even know how to start.
Oh, so you want to go for it? Oh, I've found... Alright, let's do it all stars. Let's do it all stars.
Let's wake up. Wake up. You've gone downstairs. Oh, it's first thing in the morning.
So wake up. Oh, yeah. Surely you ain't getting showered, are you? No, it's Christmas.