This is optimal living daily episode 1092, why we need suffering by sin long George of spirituallivingforbusypeople.com and I'm Justin Molick. Happy Friday if you're listening in real time and welcome back or welcome for the first time if you're new here. This is where I simply narrate blogs for you, usually sometimes books, all with permission from the websites. Now, let's get right to the post as we optimize your life.
Why we need suffering by sin long George of spirituallivingforbusypeople.com Quote, if there is meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death, human life cannot be complete. Victor Frankl, I'll be upfront with you.
I hate suffering. I like comfort and the idea of a pain free life as much as the next person, but I've also come to realize something, something that you may have realized as well but are too afraid to admit. We need suffering. What?
Even saying that out loud feels ridiculous and counterintuitive, but in my years of probing my own life and helping others do the same, I believe it to be true. Famed blogger John Morrow just recently published his first post on a new blog called Unstoppable. The entire post is an amazing read about his personal triumph through his suffering. While reading the post, two sentences stop me dead in my tracks.
Quote, the people who struggle most are the ones who can't accept the incessant unfairness of life. They become so consumed with what should have happened the way other people should have behaved that they become incapable of dealing with reality. End quote. Listen to that at least two more times.
Even though I already knew this intellectually, the way he wrote this convicted me on a deep level. I've seen some people for which this has been true and it's certainly been true of me. Two types of suffering. In my experience and study, I've found that we experience two types of suffering, necessary suffering and unnecessary suffering.
Sages and mystics down the ages have taught how we can benefit from the former and flee from the latter. Here's a great irony about suffering in our day. We have turned this wise perspective completely backwards. We flee from necessary suffering, only to increase our unnecessary suffering.
We do all we can to run from the three big D's, death, disease and disaster. We pretend they don't exist. We never taught how to deal with the reality that these three D's will visit us all. And so most of us are totally unprepared to deal with the inevitable pain of living.
This is the source of our unnecessary suffering, our deep fear of pain and our inability to deal with the pain when it finally hits. It can become so bad that we can't even deal with a relatively minor curveball's life throws at us. We become petulant when things don't go exactly the way we planned. We become despondent when others express their displeasure or dislike of us.
We lose sleep over imaginary what-if scenarios. Here's the bitter truth in the words of Maro. Quote, If you feel depressed and weak, unable to cope with the difficulties of life, it's not because you are a flawed human being. It's because you are unprepared for the pain you are experiencing.
The problem, ironically, is that you haven't suffered enough. End quote. This is why we need suffering. How to deal with suffering.
I'm not advocating that you should self-lagulate like the monks of old did, but at least you can begin to appreciate why they went to such extremes to chase away unnecessary suffering. We can learn to become comfortable with the idea of suffering without going nearly as far. Here are some tips to help. Number one, acknowledge it.
The first step to dealing with suffering is to acknowledge that it's a part of life. Once you get beyond blaming or suffering on others, God or the universe, you'll begin to gain the resources to deal with what's in front of you. Number two, lean into discomfort. As alluded to before, it doesn't take much for most of us to enter the realm of unnecessary suffering.
While I don't recommend self-lagulation, I do think it's a good idea for us to intentionally put ourselves in uncomfortable situations so we can learn to deal with them. For instance, I used to be afraid of what people would think of me because of my stutter. I did everything to hide it in my youth. One day, I decided I would allow myself to stutter in public.
I've suffered many embarrassing situations because of my stutter, but gradually, I've become less afraid of it. Consequently, it is also diminished over time. Number three, make gratitude your friend. Feeling like you always have the short end of the stick or that the grass is always greener on the other side, gratitude is the antidote to this unnecessary suffering.
As soon as you feel yourself beginning to rail against the unfairness of life, let that be the moment to stop and think of three things you are grateful for right now. The result will feel like magic as you watch your unnecessary suffering melt away. Strength through suffering. If you're breathing, you've known suffering.
Maybe you're going through a tough time right now. Know that even if you cannot currently escape pain, you need not suffer unnecessarily. Embrace your pain, lean into discomfort, and you'll discover a spiritual strength you never thought possible. You just listen to the post titled Why We Need Suffering by Cilantro or just SpiritualLivingForBizzyPeople.com.
And that should do it for today. I have a very happy Friday. Hope you're having a great start to your weekend if you're listening in real time, and I'll see you tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits.