Hey, I'm here. No queefing. No queefing. Nope.
Nope. Nope. Nope. Hey Not an issue following show is for mature audiences only listener discretion is advised and if you don't like it Please go fuck yourself.
Do you feel your sex life is quite lame? Your desires might be strange Hello and welcome to the perverted podcast the show where we explore the adventures of the kinky lifestyle sex and perversion and at the end we will attempt Hopefully successfully to sing a song Recording live from camp B in front of our perverted studio audience hello pervert And I am boogie and we are here. Okay guys. This is it.
We did it. What do we do? What you realize that this is show one zero double digits. We have now entered double digits I think in ten shows we've actually pretty much rocked it.
So now that we are professionals We are expecting you guys to send us money and And there's some things that we'd like that we'll probably end up talking about but first potato We should have a jingle for potato may have Today's topic of potato mayhem would be usually it's events that have happened in our hosting lives and that abyss is giving you a little sideways glance But I think we should talk about thinking like like the thing that goes in a newton Ficking Newton's that would be awesome when we pull the fruit off the tree in my backyard. That's no like the things that abyss is Tubby dogs eat all of it No, I'm actually talking about the act the kinky sexual act of figging which is you hone down a ginger root That comes in a large kind of hand-shaped thing and you shave it down and then you place it into the rectum or Vah-jaina of a willing participant depending on which orifice is available and it causes a sensation does it know it's tingly It's so I've heard You're not you're not one of those doms. That's like I will try everything that I do to you I am absolutely not that type of job actually I just listened to the person I play with and go from there Well, we we had a let's see mark isn't here, but we had kind of training wheels and we're like hey Let's check this out. So we used an Eltoid.
Yeah, I was like after after last week show we We see this on poor marks. See this is them both of them You left you left left and and so then so boogie took abyss into the pantry and And producing out so I didn't put it in her butt and then took no you did marks Yeah, you did mine and then mark was like oh I want to I want to I want to write it over and so he puts it over but I'm standing there and she suddenly doubles The two very different reactions were amazing cuz one of them's like oh this is kind of fun And it was like And marks were a masochist so she was into it, but yeah, she was See for birdie podcast listeners. This is the stuff we do after the show We have a salad we eat healthy and then it's time to explore each other But it was awesome So the outside had like a really neat effect on both like you when you know you farted cool and refreshing Yes, it was very nice actually my butt was like Was you're about curious? I want to splat your ship a fucking alto.
That's what I want. Let's put that I guarantee you so well that you decided to go on to we went on the next night because there was this whole well-figging Figging you know which is very popular and very scary to a lot of people and you know abyss was like I'm down and Marcus like I'm down and abyss was like me first god damn it because we had talked about it for months and months and And so I'm like well I just want to make sure fair is fair so we should do it on you Tomorrow and so we went and we went to the store and we bought you know We picked out a certain thing and I've been reading I'll be honest This was I had not fig someone obviously putting things in icy hot and you know Throat loss inches on the clay you sneak one in your mouth when you're going down on someone and you sneak a throat Lossing in the ice yeah, so it's a lot of fun I like that this is all like a list of things that are on my list of things you're not allowed to do to me all of these things are listed That is awesome. No ice. No.
No. No. No. No.
I He's like She was like no you're not putting it food as a hard limit and I'm like it's an outside it's not food I'll show it up your eyes right now. It's vegan Totally vegan-friendly guys We went got a ginger and he whittled a very lovely look like a shark tooth and the bottom was flared by the way for safety I would have thought that Abyss would have chosen the biggest fattest piece of ginger she could play She's all like a dragon ginger Anily not as much as vaginally well and it was funny though cuz I was in there and I'm like oh and he puts it in them all Oh, that's a little warm because it was funny cuz I went off the outside which was very it was actually kind of chilly It was cool on my butt and the other one but I enjoyed it was it was interesting I did a little tingly dance at one point, but it was adorable It was very it was very interesting, but it was a it was a thing and do it again. Would you do it again? That is what I like about you with this you are a yes person not always but yes on this one Yes, you say that they originally did that for horses to make originally the the rumor myth is is that originally in the old days?
If you wanted to sell an old horse and make it look like it was young and lively to get a better price They would shove ginger in the horses ass and then the horse would be like So in a horse's ass I did not see this on our set list feet apparently we're going to go be Reality today is that illegal in some states? I believe it? So anyway, so I just got to say and she's looking at me so dirty. Don't do it.
Don't do it I'm sorry a lot of people do figging and it's exciting and it's wonderful, but we had to step it up a notch We had to go to the next level because that's what you got to do when you're pervert like count boogie Yeah, the first time you do figging let's step it up a notch So maybe afterwards took it out took some pictures of it cleaned it off. It wasn't dirty She's very clean. She was very clean. She cleaned out so because I have to say that or she'll stab me in the fucking throat with a pencil It's true.
So afterwards. I'm like rinsing it. She's upstairs You know and I am rinsing it off and and I look at the teapot and I look and there's some lemon there some cinnamon and god damn it If we didn't make ourselves some post fig and tea. Oh my god.
Yes, and I did not just hear that You did matey we made tea out of it. It was the best goddamn tea. I think you've cured me of my tea fetish No, no, no, it was it was fucking sexy and then I scraped you know scraped it off It's literally and it's like hey wait a minute. Didn't I just teach about this on the podcast?
I'm like no, no honey I know I scream to the lab it technically doesn't even exist in that realm I have eaten your pussy cookies. You really like putting food in my my body orifice and then eating Do you know why? Awesome Like Your peace of mind please know that every group or blog post we talk about specifically has granted us permission to do so All right, we're new affiliates I gotta read the affiliates because we're just gonna Let's just do it in the beginning of the end of the bit so we can talk about the affiliate program as we talked about last week is Specific groups on fat lives that we have joined forces with to kind of cross promote each other so that the people who listen to us will Go and investigate them because they're just amazing topics that people are curious about so the the new groups that we have very excited about this one Rituals rules and contracts have you guys been to that one? Yeah, which of course applies to many aspects of our play and lifestyle and their mission statement is a forum to share ones Love and passion for rituals rules and contracts in the alternative lifestyle So please either go to our fat life group or check them out from our website in the fat life page and go and check them out and then of course this one yay as Most of us on this this show here are polyamorous so any time we join except for fee So it's not just about having information for you to get the fine perverted punch ass listeners I need information more polyamory.
So we have now joined forces very excited practicing polyamory on fat life the group on Fett life a discussion group for topic to topic gets shut up I'm so excited a discussion group for topics and polyamory and open relationships with minimal moderation questions can be asked of the group anonymously by using our ask poly service So those are our two new groups. We have another five others. It's really exciting. They're coming in way faster than I thought so there they are Go check them out.
We're joining they seem like really great. They seem like really great Resources both yeah, we're really trying to get a varied amount of topics of course we have 11 daddy girl ones because They're awesome. They're awesome as a part of it Well, I'm glad you chose a sound spanking cuz that's now officially one of my favorite one Yeah, I really like that one that is really cool So we're gonna be talking about a thread entitled spanking in public and there was a comment from lovely Laura and she said that She was with a group of friends in a restaurant And they were the only ones in the restaurant aside from the waitress who was a very young pretty innocent looking girl And they were goofing off in the dawn with them started, you know fake punishing them and they all he started spanking them And she said that the poor waitress got this horrified look on her face and had to come over and say are you guys okay? Because she was just totally freaking out so I thought that was Amazing it had never occurred to me because the two points that I want to bring up are that playing in public involves something We probably don't consider at the time and that's non-consentually involving people in your scene Okay, I'm the devil's advocate some shed at certain levels fine I'll just go because I was glass and I should go first because I'm awesome anyway This is this is a kind of a debate like what is that level to where you're all you are including other people into the scene because we've had people Miss D, you know, our loving major arc of threshold crutchety miss D 400,000 years old He's talks about seeing people going around with leashes and collars like walking through public and that that's very offensive And that you're including everyone into your scene and I don't agree with that I agree if you're doing a sex act like maybe spanking or you know public blowjob You know, you know in a pizza place or something like that that that would be Including someone you just got excited I think certain things like what you wear if you have a leash collar if you're wearing your collar in public I don't think that you're you know, that's your freedom of expression and I think if it's illegal obviously you've now crossed the line But well, I think it's those are all clothing or whatever.
This is actual physical contact. Yeah where you're say say Taking it out of the kink realm a lot of people are upset if they see a parent's spanking child or something along those lines It's we did the demo and we had to explain everybody we did a college demo bogey and I a few weeks back and I Someone had asked me the proper way of face slapping and I asked bogey to demonstrate on me and he did a you know He had to do that was a pan I was ready for that it is a negotiation with the rest of the people around but just the reaction of people watching me get slapped in the face Mm-hmm was it impacted a lot of people and we had to do a lot of pre-negotiate beforehand otherwise I would have considered that as potential trigger for people Yeah, which is which is great because my second point was that we consider spanking to be likely not edgy But to some people it can be very traumatic thing to witness if they're remembering something horrible from their childhood So seeing ugly people kiss is dramatic for me. So should that not be you're seeing people hug each other? No, it's just none of this is That's contact having some Alicia on somebody or call around someone little like spanking is giving someone a pat on the butt illegal Because they do it in sports all the time.
That's a pat is very different than spanking especially disciplinary. Yes It's all about context is what as a society we accept You know patting something on the butt and again, that's not a big deal if you see some goth person with a collar on You're not gonna give it a second look here's kind of a razor blade And a more Seattle in a different context when you're in a restaurant and there is an expected social behavior and you turn around and even Even if it's obvious that you're joking as this comment or was saying it was obviously with it would goofing off well It's obvious to them it but there you go. It's not accepted accepted social behavior Yeah So as an exhibitionist I have lots of fantasies where I'm doing things all sorts of places in public But the reality is that I only really like doing them at the dungeon where I know that everyone who's walking in is open to seeing something like that I don't like the idea of non-consensual including people in my exhibitionism They might be uncomfortable and I don't want to make anybody uncomfortable But what is exhibition? I mean it could be well No because I can get naked in the dungeon and get my face snapped or my ass left in the dungeon There's people watching and I absolutely right I have to do it in front of the open window in the Las Vegas hotel where there are children walking on the street that could look up and See because that's that's involving people who don't need to be involved in creepy yeah, you know adults fucking But get this creepy and you're in a restaurant a kid could have walked in okay, what about okay?
Okay, so now we're getting into a whole genre. I like what's called car tours and And that's where I get the look I get the look from abyss. Yeah, we have yeah, don't yeah We have thank you so I have an adapter in my lighter and I have a hottachi Vibrating wand in my glove box that I just keep there And so we can drive places on trips whatever and you're going for that kind of public play where there's a danger of getting caught So now we can talk and say well that's completely a moral and unethical if somebody catches you if somebody catches you Because they're in the car they can't unless they're in a truck up above and looking down They can't really see what's going on there may be seeing a funny face. That's the park I like to park I like to go to places like we're gonna go to this church parking lot And you're gonna stare at the Virgin Mary and master bake for me or the duck park or the duck park Yeah, see see we have to now your recollection, which was by the way that was totally hot I mean I like doing it.
I mean it was different It was he was driving and then had his fingers in places. Yeah, but yeah, but nobody could see what was happening They could just they looked they could just see my face. I think this was very much a good topic and did something for people King people to be respectful of the rest of the where if you're going to do things in public know that you could offend people and Get yourself in legal trouble, but I'm still gonna do my car tours fuck off Can we talk about queeps Sucks is going on my microphone left today So this was a blog by bug and it was creeping up the KMP charts this week and I have to say I fell in love with this She's talking about the very funny, but oh so embarrassing female sound known as the queef And she talks about how she is one of the fortunate ladies gifted with long in a libia folks I love her description And those suckers vibrate when I exhale air the gas but my hungry pussy pulling an air and the arousal and then getting it pushed out With the rising heights of my climax to hear And she goes on to talk about that this is something she had to and is still working on because it's not the sexy It really is not the sexy when you know what funny is sexy funny is sexy. Thank you She specifically talks about while she's getting oral and she's Like I have a little goatee on the bottom and sometimes it's a long and someone does it all the sudden I feel And she's aware that this is a natural part of the female body blah blah blah she's like I it's not sexy she goes on to talk about there's never queefing in porno No editing in real life.
She's like the pussy fart is something you have to work your head around they don't do it in movies No, no queefing They also don't go to the bathroom in movies. They also don't say goodbye when they hang up on the phone on the movies You know movies are not real in real life people. So they should you know queef and hang up the fucking phone You know you're eating up minutes there, you know and if I queef it's over I can't get into a good headspace at the best of times if there's a queef involved Oh, no, I don't it's I have owned it. I've done yeah I've got it to the point where I'm like if I'm in that it basically feel like it's my pussy going Next time you hear someone go before you keep yourself just imagine that You know you can be hung up about this you really have the choice you have the choice to treat your body as some taboo horrible dirty thing that was programmed into our heads by you know society and Religiously oppressed people that thought the vagina and the asshole and the penis was a dirty thing that you can do that But you don't have to what if you created a headspace with yourself and with your lovers Which I work really really hard to do that when human stuff happens which it's going to happen You're enjoying having sex with a human You're in you're enjoying the interaction the physicality of that if you let human stuff just be human stuff And you just like we have a rule, you know if there's a fart we laugh we move on That's the same thing when I do massage on women when I do my work You know I let them know ahead of times if there's a sound that comes out we giggle about it and move on It's not a big deal although I will say when you get a good one because there have been situations where it's like that shit It's like a three and a half second one one.
It's a continuous thing because it keeps Yeah I mean it's not an issue I've had recently but back when I was you know married and having sex regularly in certain positions It would happen a lot and it would just be like go for it until it gets uncomfortable and then just let me over It's it'll be fine You're you're shoving air I mean if it's you're talking about penis in vagina or penis in ass you're you're pushing air in when you come out Especially if you're doing like that tease you know where you like fuck them a little bit and then you pull it out And you put your dick their fucking hole and then you shove it in you know that there's air that goes in That's physics man. It just shit happens. So when you come out when you what should happen? Which by the way Sometimes that comes with the sounds that come out and once again shit happens And you know you're never with you pumpkin ever you are a clean spotless fragile I am goddamn it of all these I have the camera all the looks that have been just but just let it go I mean how much how much better is it to communicate with a partner and say hey Let's just make this not a big deal Let's just make this a safe place that we can actually connect and have sex and just enjoy the fun of being sexual together And that's basically where she's saying she's she is working on and trying to create a headspace for her that she can still feel sexy Because I guess this happens a lot and she still feels sexy and is able to express herself without feel shame or dirty or ridiculous There's no reason to apologize for your body doing what your body's gonna do and especially for the dude has a part in it You're shoving Aaron me.
Where's it gonna go? I'm like fucking elbow fucking dick and if you're that hung up on it Then don't fuck me. How about that ladies? How about making that the answer if some guy that you're fucking acts offended by it Then you go hey, you know, there's a great answer here Don't fuck me and then you won't ever have to worry about hearing my body do a body thing like I said I don't care which by the way, I think that cares at all.
Thank you No, I'm sorry. We're not doing poly sanity this week. We're gonna do it next week is I just really need to study more Let's just do some feast stuff My topics this week are a little bit connected one will lead into the other so on my non kinky dating profiles I say I'm kinky like on ok cute bit and tinder or wherever else I'm on and I'm hoping that that's gonna attract similarly kinky Part like I'm hoping that'll be like hey, I'm kinky too. What's up?
Let's talk But sometimes it's there's a non kinky guys that say so what does that mean and I don't really like what is kinky? I would this I'm opening up to you guys. What does it mean to be kinky? Where does where do you draw the line of?
For some people it's like oh you pull my hair and spank me during sex That's kinky and for some people it's like I'm gonna cut you piss on you and then be a 24-hour master's lay relationship with you And it's like that's a really big that's a really big gap between the two Okay, I know he has a little oh I did Childish it's not a fucking little I'm a daddy, but sometimes I'm childish What was the question? What's kinky? I am an explorer sexually and that means if I find things that seem interesting or sound interesting I am willing to explore those things and if they are fun I do them and if they turn out to not be fun Then I don't but I don't stop myself from exploring with a partner that maybe has new ideas or creative aspects of sexuality So for some people kinky can be a blow-down absolutely I don't think that most people would categorize that though because I think we do what we do there is a Baseline I guess that you could call it that in society we consider these things Hey this word normal out of the social norm. Yes, and then the rest where we anything above that line is now considered kinky handcuffs little spanking That's kinky because it's it goes above our baseline I mean I think that's the it's a perception issue because if you speak with someone who's not in an actively kinky lifestyle And you say oh yeah, I like to get my ass spanked when I'm getting laid the fact that I'm just talking about getting laid It's pretty kinky for them But then if you talk with people in our social circle where you like hang out a dungeon and stuff and it's like us banking It's like yeah, whatever.
Do you know that's nothing? It's only kinky the first time Well you weren't fast enough We get this question a lot on the on the panels and we generally tell people that it can be from zero to 900 It's a bell curve and it's really whatever falls in between those things if someone has Sex and oh he's well. He always says and it's connecting and all they do is face each other and they keep the lights off and They have their socks on but it's connected and it's fierce and it's passionate That's that's really all you need but when you bring in other things that are outside the quote-unquote social norms like spanking or To be honest, it doesn't have to be sexual I'm assuming that kink means sex. Oh no 90% of the things I do when I what is my kinky or stuff has nothing to do with sex Like a hundred percent of the king that I do with sex like having Sam's been the wheel of cake later He's nervous we can see him sitting there with his hands crossed I think that also there's in the community the more we do it the less we start thinking as kink because it becomes our baseline So and for me at least the word kink has become something that I use for people outside of the community So that they at least understand what I'm about to be talking about So that's why I think it's so hard to answer that because it's normal for us We don't consider it a kink anymore even when we do something new there's always something that we do that's new or put somebody else Is done it now instead of being like I think for some people maybe kink like you're talking about that are not in the community Kink is something like ooh taboo, but for us even the most extreme things.
We're pretty much just gonna analyze and go That's cool. That sounds really it's not there's like a certain maybe shock factor to the word when you say oh I'm doing this or I'm doing that like people go. Oh, that's kinky because it's like a little bit taboo and shocking No, it's not to me. I have a whole it's been rolling around on my head the idea of taboo and what is taboo a great party at threshold On the first Saturday of every month which bookie hosts I was I was intending to bring this up But there was a taboo writing challenge recently and I took me a while to come up with something because what's taboo to me Are things there are things that I will think about that?
I don't really want to do like going to for my day job Which has to do with fundraising to actually you know sleep with a donor to get the gig like that to get the money That would be taboo for me because I wouldn't really do that how much money? Well, I mean I got $300,000 It wasn't for me, but but no, but that's like so the idea of taboo like there's there's because there's people who talk about consensual Nonconsent super hot not really taboo because of the consent part for me. That's that's where that's a whole You know why I can bring that up next week. So the second part because that what is kinky leads into the next part Which is when someone says so what are you into?
Yes, I'm into the yes Because that's a hard question to answer now when when someone who is part of the kinky lifestyle asks you that then then there's a Conversation that takes place and those are negotiations. Yeah, it's called negotiation There's like so do you like rope do you like this do you like that? What are your you know? What are your limits your all that stuff?
But when it's somebody from one of these dating sites are like so you're kinky What does that mean and what are you into I'm like same answer? I am sexually an explorer and I will do things that are creative here are some of the things that I've done Thank you for answering now. We can ask you now. We can have a conversation about it So the answer I gave a guy that asked me I said I'm into having my partner take charge be the aggressor and you know fun stuff like restraints and thinking and hair pulling and his answer was I can do that of course you Was like awesome, but maybe first you should try asking me out like that would be a super dominant thing for you to do is Actually asking out before you start imagining me on my knees sucking your dick.
How about that? That's that's that's a sec. Let me wiggle my dick into my p-jug I have a p-jug because I play world of work for 19 hours before I be online on I think this is more or she's talking about the non-kink world But even in the kink world I remember the first time that book he approached me He's like so what are you into and I was like there's a big giant answer to that I can't do in one sentence like how do you answer that question? I started asking yeah I started asking the like hey if you watch someone play like you're able to go to a dungeon or whatever you can watch people play and see Normally they'll kind of lean towards what they enjoy and I've started just asking what are your hard limits?
Yeah, I feel like that's a smaller bucket if it's if it's especially if it's an experienced player Versus it versus someone who's First someone who's new where you have to take them by the hand and guide them through everything Yes, if someone knew I would definitely be more compassionate But if it's an experienced player and you just for me at least that's the right I'm taking I just shake my head because of this can say anything the fuck she wants to somebody and they'll still be like Yes, this is awesome and hot where we have to think of things like why would you start? Your pitch with a negative what are your hard limits now? You're getting someone to visualize the worst thing that they don't want done to them If you want someone to play with you you want to put them on that mountaintop and have them see themselves in this exciting wonderful thing So you would say what things are you curious about because usually people are curious about something that they might like? That's one approach.
So I think when the first time that you boogie approached me and asked what are you into? I think my answer was you know fun stuff. I think You can do that like do you like spanking do you I mean kind of start slow and build your way up? That's exactly what happened is and you started leading the conversation asking you do you like this?
Do you like this do you like this because then I can answer yes or no and find out what I like? Yeah, it's also that you know has the top I kind of want to do things I like exactly That's why I said what are your own limits? See you can do that if I did that then all of a sudden Oh, he's scary. He's gonna try to push me past where I want to go I Was fun.
No, it wasn't you are ever concerned whether or not I will stop somebody just remember this Well, you said you said you had enough and I stopped burning your foot with a blowtorch It wasn't a blowtorch as much as it was like a crème bleu les That's so fucking blue Mini is so cute sounding though. Let's take a butane lighter to your feet and see how I got I did to check it out I did it on my arm Not to mention I don't hit my feet is also on my list So I already don't like paying on my feet and then you're fucking setting them on fire. Oh, man That's uh, that's my that's my sensual non Hey, here's the torch I'm using it. Oh, whatever perfection and perfection.
You know what goddamny You know what what's consensual non-consensual Sam Sam Sam's been waiting for his moment Sam you see that that wheel next to you, right? Yes, yes, that's called the wheel of kinks Sam and you notice that has a bunch of things written on it like spanking and belts and and there's violet wand and fire and we're not gonna Probably do fire today. It's warm in the garage. So We'll skip over that and camp beefy don't burn don't burn down.
Oh, sorry Don't burn down camp beefy Sam I want you to go up to that wheel that we have lovingly go stand next to that and Sam other than fire play you do agree to let a bestew to you whatever you land on. Yes. I do agree to that Thank you very he's like, yes, I do. He's practically ripping off his fucking pants and handing her.
I brought you extra stuff, too Sam spin the wheel We should put sounds on there Sam if you're a head sounds We don't have a sounds come on down. It's going to that okay, and so good. No, but Oh, that's what they have over there, too Look, I'll take up my pants now. I'm gonna turn this way.
I don't know that abyss now has a metal It's one of those hey, hey, we just miss the best parts Sam took his pants down and he's bent over here All right, you guys go ahead. I'm looking the other way Hey, I am super hang on it's like so let's describe the belt that abyss is going to lovingly whack That is nice. It's got grommets all the way through it. So it's more metal than Sam, how do you feel right now?
That sounds scary No, and now abyss takes control Jerk I can be back here every week. Oh, why are you backing off the first one was good. Fuck him. She's reading him.
You're not I'm Start from the garage door Good job Sam Sam, how do you feel? Sam spanked by the lovely and beautiful abyss I love this that is I really do I like the wheel of cake. I'm excited. We have a wheel of king people come in So look at the be talk glassy eyes.
He's all I have no physical inability to spin the wheel again No, we have to be my show now. I'm trying to continue a podcast Quick smack her in the face a couple times waker up. No, that doesn't work now. We've gone down the other road Sometimes love is less than nice.
You may need some fucking advice right now Love and sex questions answered by the sagely why isn't awesome? Because fuck it the more opinions you have the more choices. You have it's super duper important that we remind you to turn off that microphone Therapy please get some therapy Okay, we have a question dear forverted podcast I was re-listening to segment in episode three where you talk about not focusing on an orgasm for women as a way to get there more easily Remember that was a long time ago back in episode three now the word episode 10 As a top-leaning switch, I want to know about how that might apply to getting to subspace or spacing out Are there methods you think work better for that or is it? Oh, I cut off the rest of this But that was basically the question.
It's actually a our friend We know him bacon and he's a top-leaning switching mostly tops But when he bottoms he has a hard time getting to subspace And is it the same as the advice we gave for a woman who had a difficult time reaching orgasm? Which is just let go he's gotta just let go and stop trying I think I can sympathize completely with this situation as a dog heavy switch I can sympathize it also takes a lot for the top like if I'm not feeling it or connection like the connection isn't great with the top It's not something I'm just gonna instantly it's not my first it's not my nature to just be like oh So for me it took a while and honestly it took a deep connection with somebody to reach that place where I could Let go so it could take time and for me a connection. Oh, yeah, it sounds to me like connection as a big I mean for me, yeah, pull my hair. I'm in subspace.
It's not that difficult for me But but without the connection if someone were to pull my hair and I have no connection with them I'd be like fuck are you doing you know so it helps? Yeah, so I think for some people they're just not gonna get to the first time they played with someone it takes that I wouldn't make that a Rule for anybody. It's likely that you'll need to build that connection But I mean there's people that I've played with that have never even played before and they go out because they were just open to that Experience I think that really comes down Then I'm speaking from the top talking to a lot of different bottoms fuck off I'm speaking Do you start smurky land jump go ahead in this experience bottom? Hey, I bought my whole childhood, okay fine No subspace no negotiation and no aftercare What we're talking about we're talking about the you know, I played with a lot of bottoms that have say I have a problem Achieving subspace or people that have never played and it really wants as the top my job is to create an environment I talk about that all the time if I create that environment where I say look Let's take this off the table very much like we talked in episode three seven episodes ago That that we're 10 so we let go of our goal and if your goal is subspace You're probably not going to reach subspace because now you're focusing on it and now you're gonna analyze every step of the way Is this subspace am I getting closer?
What am I doing? That's not natural the idea is that you're releasing chemicals and hormones in your body that are going to allow you to get to Relax you for a state and if you keep trying for that then you're kind of defeating the purpose I can say also coming from the top point where it's like when with the top heavy switch it adds annoyingly harsh levels because if the person at least in my experience isn't dominant enough and isn't Raw enough and whatever and doesn't put that energy and I can't it can't feed off that every hit every SWAT everything I'm thinking in my head and not letting go and just being with the moment But in my head I'm going really that's where you're gonna do that So yeah, I was thinking that it might have had something to do with that for him specifically because he's a he's a he's a ropee person So when he's doing ropee as a bottom with someone else I'm wondering if it's like oh, oh you're gonna tie that way or you He's like analyzing analyzing and not just letting go of where it's hard. It's hard. It's can go Hmm.
Yeah, I thought that might have something to do with it Interesting I hey, I think it's both I think it's a two-way street The person has to be dominant enough or hit your buttons enough and the person who's on the bottom has to let go of their shit And work at letting go of that stuff I have a connection with the guy I said too But we have been playing for over a year and I only two months ago hit subspace for the first time Nice so and that was because I wasn't so that I wasn't it's just that I have so many fucking issues in my head that I've had a lot to work through and it's taken me a while So I kind of agree with boogie that you have to let go of that goal But you can't let go of all goals you have to let go of the end goal I want to get to subspace and your next goal has to be brought down dramatically and my next goal was I was at square one I had just just get out of my head and then week after that or the month after that I would try well then stop get rid of the audience in your head Let's do that and I would take it a step at a time But I never thought of my end goal subspace and it just happened on its own but it took a long time I think it depends on how much you have to get through in your own head I think that's awesome that you say that I mean the old Zen is detached from the outcome which should be every event in your life that we're Interested in the race. We're not interested in some dumb prize Zen or But I think because we talk about let it go let it go let it go and I think Kathy did great breaking that down To that their little steps and little goals that you set I would also like to add on to that from just a Headspace on how to let it go is to first accept that your brain has like three trillion functions a day So you're never going to be able to completely clear your mind except the fact that you're going to be able to Have little steps of that so those voices are gonna come in Oh, are they tying this way? Oh, they're gonna hit me like that if you immediately follow that with hey I hear you I hear that you want to be critical right now But we're not gonna do that because we're gonna go here and I always tell it talk about the glowing hand that you just push those Thoughts out of the way gently you don't not acknowledge them. You just say not right now.
I'm gonna focus on this I hear you. Thank you very much. Yes, that's a shitty tie, but no I'm gonna move here and so that training is how you let go That's what they spend years and years and years learning how to meditate They don't try to teach you how to clear your mind on the first day They teach you how to accept that your mind is an amazingly functioning Multi-faceted place and you have to kind of work with it because the brain's always like fix things Fakes puzzle pop pop pop pop pop pop pop and you have to give it that permission in the front of your mind We're focusing not right now and that will help you get more and more and that's the same with orgasm It's the same with letting go in subspace and I love that you called it training because that's exactly what it is And if you don't go into it at least for me knowing that you'll get Disappointed very easily because it is training you have to retrain you have to do it over and over and over again I hate to bring everybody down But really if you're trying to go from where you are to someplace that you've never been before and it's really far away from you I hate to say but that's what you have to do you have to retrain your mind or like boogie says sit on the toilet backwards He loves change your point of view like I showered with a needle and it got super high on subspace I was awesome. I don't I think it's not always about the the impact or the hitty also What gets you to subspace could be as simple as having someone like scratch your hair until you calm down enough and just kind of zone out That's kind of like what subspace is it's really it's when you feel safe and comfortable with your partner It doesn't have to be a doesn't have to be it's not definitely it doesn't have to be the high.
I mean anything It's just are you okay? Are you enjoying your moment and free from that? Is that it? So everybody please send in your kink love relationship and sex questions in one end of words advice to pervertedpodcast at jingle.com and please put the word advice in the subject line or boogie said will explode Oh my god, we're totally oh, that's right.
We didn't do poly sanity. I'm a dick. We're gonna just do the song we're gonna do this song I wrote specifically for feet I already Mean fee, you know sometimes gets a little hung up on this topic and uses it to judge men She's potentially gonna date and it kind of you know No Actually this topic that we're gonna talk about and then we talked about The fact that maybe she needs to on this specific topic She needs to let go a little bit and understand that Creativity and it doesn't make you a bad person if you aren't good at this necessarily thing So I actually looks from everybody today So we're gonna try this song and probably fuck it up because it's a hard ukulele song for me and but let's just Do this song everyone take any breath show 10 Oh my god, there you go again being righteous in a comment section You're a south appointed no live pseudo intellectual demanding like it matters are selling perfection internet grammar Not see what you have to come soon It's not like I jumped out of high school just to fuck with you Well, and if I miss fellow word or improperly punctuate you only point out my mistakes because you're so fucking lame your cameras Bond and my debate Why oh you are on my workie fucker. I owe you are cheeseburger decompose.
Why oh you are annoying and now exposed Of course I think you'll find without the stick up your ass afraid easy to communicate Oh Get laid more let go of the grammar Nazi stuff Thank you for listening and Los Angeles or surrounding areas visit threshold that Oregon find out about joining their kinky family Thank you all of our guests and host to be Still smiling if you have questions comments or ideas Please email us at pervertedpodcastedgmail.com and visit perverted podcast And finally please consider becoming a monthly supporter of fat life So we have something to actually talk about each week until next week. Thank you perverted podcast listeners for keeping this ship a sale We See why oh you are without the apostrophe are