11 ~ Miscarriage grief: when your body is still pregnant but the baby is gone

In this episode, Marcus and I share our miscarriage story. Trigger warning: miscarriage / pregnancy loss.We also talk about the years before that. The journey into whether we even wanted children, and how chronic pain, disability, trauma, and caregiving changes the whole conversation around parenthood.Then we share what about our pregnancy loss and what the miscarriage actually looked like for us. The scan, the limbo. Still feeling nauseous and exhausted while knowing the pregnancy isn’t viable. Then the waiting & the bleeding. The hospital. The D&C. And the grief that hit weeks later, when the world had already moved on.We talk about:deciding whether to have children when you live with chronic illness / chronic painmiscarriage and early pregnancy lossthe limbo after miscarriage (still having pregnancy symptoms)the physical reality: bleeding, clots, hospital care and D&Canxiety, panic and using nervous system tools in medical settingsdelayed grief, loneliness, and unhelpful commentshow partners can process pregnancy loss differentlyfear, closure, and trying again after miscarriageThis episode is for anyone who’s been through miscarriage or pregnancy loss, anyone trying to conceive after loss, and anyone navigating the question of having children while living with chronic illness.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning05:15 Moving to Ibiza and Changing Perspectives11:40 Concerns and Fears During Pregnancy19:33 The Limbo Period and Emotional Struggle26:12 The Physical Experience36:45 Recovery and Reflection42:25 Processing Grief and Coping Mechanisms47:40 Impact on Mental and Emotional HealthIf this resonates, I’d love for you to leave a review, share it with someone who needs it, or send me a DM on Instagram.