11. My Needs vs. My Child’s Needs

In parenting, we want to believe our love is perfect — automatic, limitless, and always putting our child first. But real life has a way of testing that fantasy.Rav Shlomo Katz and the women of Shirat David unpack a surprisingly relieving truth: a parent can genuinely love their child… and still have moments where their own needs collide with the child’s needs. Sometimes it’s obvious (work, exhaustion, basic functioning). Sometimes it’s subtler (wanting quiet when your child needs connection, wanting “my plan” when your child needs “me”).With honesty, humor, and a lot of compassion, we explore:Why this tension is normal and why denying it makes us less self-awareThe difference between a true need vs. laziness/ta’avahHow “timing” and communication can become a real avodahWhy kids experience reality differently (and how that changes everything)This isn’t a guilt shiur. It’s a clarity shiur — the kind that helps you become more present, more balanced, and more loving in the moments that actually matter.---------For more Shuirim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz, visit: https://ravshlomokatz.comJoin Rav Shlomo Katz's WhatsApp Community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/KHKOhhPaeHx5Kb74WL9L9a?mode=ems_copy_tChapters00:00 Opening and Introducing the Shiur Topic01:05 Natural Parental Love at Birth04:07 Striving for the Perfect Parent13:26 Question of Absolute Unconditional Love18:08 Recognizing Unconscious Preference21:13 “My Need vs My Child’s Need” Examples25:44 The “One Candy Left” Test28:31 Alone Time, Date Night, and the Child’s Experience33:16 Sleep Training as a Case Study35:49 The Pillow at 2:00am: Need or Laziness?37:54 A Parent Has Needs Too40:12 Needs vs. Laziness/Ta’avah (The Real Birur)42:52 The Oxygen Mask Analogy44:40 Timing as a Tool for Discernment46:25 Communication: Helping Kids Understand Reality48:05 Love Isn’t Free of Personal Motives50:58 Generational Shift in Mom Self-Care52:15 Father’s Old-School Wisdom and Child Fear