113 – I Was Loved Everyday By People I Didn’t Know

Carrie called me from Lynchburg, Virginia.&nbsp;In her journey you’ll hear her talk about the moment she realized she was found, and how she was in contact with her birth parents at the same time one the same day.&nbsp;Carrie talks about two amazing reunions: one where she got to see her birth mother in competition, the other where she got to meet her maternal and paternal siblings together.&nbsp;She also talks about herself as an adoptive mother to a special young man who came into her life at a time when he needed her most. This is Carrie’s journey…&nbsp;Carrie (00:03):One reason why it's all been so positive for me is that, you know, the minute I learned that they were looking for me, it was kind of like, Oh, well, they really did want me, you know, like they really did. You know, it wasn't like I was just discarded or somebody's secret or anything. No.Damon (00:25):Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Carrie. She called me from Lynchburg, Virginia, in her journey you'll hear her talk about the moment she realized she was found and how she was in contact with her birth parents at the same time. On the same day, Carrie talks about two amazing reunions. One where she got to see her birth mother in competition, the other, where she got to meet her maternal and paternal siblings together. She also talks about herself as an adoptive mother to a special young man who came into her life at a time when he needed her most. This is Carrie's journey.Damon (01:29):I had the good fortune to interview Carrie on January 2nd, 2020. I wished her a happy new year and added what a special anniversary this day was in her life. One year ago, that day was the first time Carrie had received an email from her biological mother over the holidays. Last year, she received a generic piece of mail that looked like a credit card offer or something. So she just stuffed it in her purse and dismissed it on new year's Eve. She was cleaning out her purse when she found the correspondence that said the sender's client was looking for someone that they thought might be Carrie, the woman who sent the letter was out for the holidays. So she didn't receive Carrie's reply until she returned to the office on January 2nd, 2019. Before we get to that though, let's go back to the beginning. I mean, you didn't think we were just going to jump right into the good part. Did you? I asked Carrie to tell me about adoption for her as a kid in her family and in her community. She said she was adopted at six weeks old from Catholic family services in Roanoke, Virginia. She grew up in a small town called Alta Vista, South of Lynchburg, Virginia.Carrie (02:45):I have had the most amazing parents. I mean, I have never wanted for anything. I've never known anything other than a house full of love, um, which has been super amazing. And, um, I think actually kind of this year has really highlighted that more for me and given me a bigger sense of appreciation for all that I have had growing up,Damon (03:08):Carrie had one brother, six years older than her. So he had his own set of friends. She said she was alone a lot. So she played make-believe games, did art and entertained herself. In her small town she grew up through school with nearly all of the same friends until she went away to college. She said when she was a kid, people in the community would often say she looked like her adopted mother.Carrie (03:34):She would look at me and be like, should we tell him? And so we would always say, you know, well, I'm adopted. And so I've known, you know, since before I can remember that I was adopted, um, it's never been secret or anything, you know, I don't even really remember how I found out. Uh, I just know that I've always knownDamon (03:53):Carrie said she always got support, love, hugs, and kisses. She can't even remember any tough discipline growing up. Carrie said she could go on and on about her parents and how she shares their taste in music. She's good at fixing things like her father and she enjoys having her mother edit her writing, even though as an English teacher, she can be pretty brutal. Carrie said that as adults, she and her brother have gotten closer these days, enjoying memories with their parents. Carrie went to show on university in North Carolina, graduating with a graphic design degree, then went on to old dominion university, achieving a master's in higher education. When she met her husband back in the Hampton roads area at ODU, they decided to move back to Lynchburg. So with what sounds like a wonderful life and no gaping holes to fill in her identity, I asked if she ever wanted to search for her biological relatives, access to the internet, sparked a nascent curiosity that had her going online, adding her name to adoption registries. But it was just a mild curiosity because it was the first time she had that level of access to information. Then a few years later,Carrie (05:08):Maybe two or three years into our marriage, um, uh, we were talking about, you know, maybe having kids and seeing how that would go. Um, you know, that got me really curious as far as like my medical history and all that kind of stuff, which I think is pretty common. A big question people have when they're adopted is, you know, what the heck? And especially like going to the doctors throughout my whole life, they're like, what's your family history? And I had to go through the whole thing. I don't know. You know? So, um, finally I was like, well, if I'm gonna try to bring a child into the world and I probably should have some information,Damon (05:48):One of Carrie's friends who had done extensive adoption research, turned his skills towards her story. Then he gave her some information about herself on a whim, on a shopping trip in Roanoke, Virginia, about an hour from her home, Carrie proposed dropping into the courthouse. She gave the clerk, the information, her friend had dug up about her. The woman went away, but came back empty handed, saying her records were sealed and Carrie would have to petition the court to access them. She wasn't so interested in accessing her information that she wanted to pursue a court case. So she just kind of let it go. That was five years ago, a short while after that, Carrie is going to work on the final day of a job that she was miserable in on that very last day of work.Carrie (06:39):I got an email from a guy, um, who thought that he might be my brother and he thought I was his sister. I mean, he had just learned that his mom has had a baby and given her up for adoption, same day that I was born from the same hospital where I was born. And so he was trying to find his sister. And so he had found my information on whatever that site was that I had registered on years ago. And so he just reached out to me, hoping that I was his sister and I wasn't, but I know it's really weird is this guy actually lived in the town where I had worked for four years. And I got the email from him the last day that I worked there because I had quit my job. And so it was my final day driving to this place. And this kid had emailed me and we shared pictures and I was convinced that we were, we were related, even people near me. You know, my friends were like, Oh my gosh, he looks just like you, you know, that can really be your brother. That's a very strange, very strange.Damon (<a href="https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ay3MWG4jTEPtwqjXELzl7wIbfZjUxB-q0f7-YyqUfVkDV8sXJ73d-MhVIHtOF_Hux9lGzIPYiHDFAQa3EtyGfYznuYE?loadFrom=SharedLink&amp;ts=457.63"...