113. You’re Not Emotionally Unavailable—Here’s Why You Attract Men Who Are

If you keep attracting emotionally unavailable men, you’ve probably been told that it must mean you are emotionally unavailable too.But what if that explanation doesn’t tell the full story?In this video, I break down the psychology behind why emotionally available women can still find themselves drawn to emotionally unavailable partners—and why this pattern often has less to do with a lack of vulnerability and more to do with learned beliefs about love, safety, and worthiness.I share my personal experience of chasing emotionally unavailable men, then struggling in a healthy relationship—not because I didn’t want love, but because I had never been taught how to ask for what I needed or trust emotional safety.We talk about: • Why emotionally unavailable men pull more emotion out of you • The belief that love has to be earned (and where it comes from) • Why healthy love can feel scarier than emotional unavailability • How childhood and relationship trauma shape attachment patterns • Why “knowing better” doesn’t always mean you know how to do better • How to begin breaking this cycle and learning to receive love safelyIf you’ve ever felt like you could beg the wrong person to love you but struggled to speak up in a healthy relationship, this video is for you.You are not broken.You are not incapable of love.You may just be unlearning what love was never supposed to cost you.✨ If this resonates, don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share your thoughts in the comments.✨ Let’s connect:💜1:1 coaching &BONUS podcast episodes https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl💜books, coaching and more:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.netAuthors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld💜MY SOCIALS:YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6VrI’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==Business Inquiries:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)