115: *36 Life Lessons* about love, relationships Attachment episode artwork

EPISODE · Jan 8, 2026 · 23 MIN

115: *36 Life Lessons* about love, relationships Attachment

from The Anxious To Secure PODCAST · host Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach

This episode is for the version of you who feels like they’re behind in life… even though they’ve already survived so much 🫂⛈ If you’ve ever thought: ➞ “I should be married by now” ➞ “Everyone else has it figured out except me” ➞ “Why do I always overthink, attach, or care more?” ➞ “Why does love feel so hard when I try so much?” This episode will land DEEP 💎🧠✨ In Part 01, I’m sharing the first 18 life lessons I’ve learned about love, anxious attachment, self-esteem, self-worth, friendships, confidence, healing, and choosing yourself. Not from books. Not from theory. From LIVING it 🖤 We start with one of the most important truths: You are not behind.   Even if you’re not married. Even if you don’t have the house, the kids, or the five-year plan. Even if your life doesn’t look “right” on paper 📄🚩   You’ll hear why your brain lies to you about timelines… and how comparison keeps you disconnected from your own growth 🪞 We talk about why your brain obsesses over the ONE person who doesn’t choose you… while ignoring the people who already do 💔🎢 And how anxious attachment turns “hard to get” into “must have” 🚩 You’ll learn why everything you want already exists… and how following the right blueprint changes what feels possible for you  We also get real about confidence. The difference between external confidence (looks, body, validation) and real inner confidence that doesn’t disappear when no one texts back 📱🥶 You’ll hear why anxiety isn’t proof something is wrong. It’s proof your brain THINKS something is wrong 🧠🚨 And how butterflies, nerves, and intensity are not the same as love ❤️‍🔥🚩   We talk about: ✣ Why doing the same thing over and over keeps you stuck ✣ Why closure doesn’t come from them, it comes from YOU ✣ How repetition literally rewires your brain and attachment style ✣ Why self-criticism trains your nervous system to feel unsafe ✣ How self-trust is built in seconds, not years   There’s a powerful reminder that one day… you’ll miss the life you’re living right now 🌤🫂 Even the “boring” days. Even the messy chapters. We talk about gratitude without bypassing pain. About how modern dating and technology have changed connection. And why slowing down your nervous system matters more than getting answers 🔒🧘🏼‍♀️   This episode also dives into: ✣ Why postponing happiness keeps you anxious ✣ Why healing is about the DAILY habits, not the end goal ✣ Why forcing love never creates safety ✣ Why anxious attachment is NOT your personality ✣ How abandonment wounds make you chase reassurance instead of safety And one of the biggest shifts: If you’ve abandoned yourself long enough, others will too.   Over-giving isn’t love. It’s fear wearing a cute outfit 🫂🚩 This episode is a mirror 🪞 Not to shame you. But to remind you who you are beneath the anxiety 💎 Listen if you want to: ➞ stop chasing reassurance ➞ stop overthinking texts ➞ stop feeling “too much” ➞ and start building real emotional safety within yourself   Because healing doesn’t start with fixing your partner. It starts with choosing yourself. Again. And again. And again 🖤✨ 🎧 After listening, tell me: Which lesson hit you in the chest the most? And which one are you ready to LIVE next? Lots of love 🫶 I see you. And I’ll see you in Part 02 ✨🎙     👇 RESOURCES 👇 💎 Courses ✨ Stop FINALLY Obsessing Over Texts ➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety   💛 Free Stuff – 30+ resources Free Attachment Library ➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop   🖤 About me I’m Jula, an attachment style coach. I help women heal trust issues, stop chasing, and build secure love ✨   💌 Work with me ➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy WhatsApp Coaching ➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textandtalk   CHAPTER: 00:00 Celebrating 36 Years: A Journey of Lessons 01:15 lesson 01 03:36 lesson 02 04:18 lesson 03 05:18 lesson 04 06:17 lesson 05 07:19 lesson 06 07:47 lesson 07 08:12 lesson 08 08:55 lesson 09 09:58 lesson 10 11:29 lesson 11 13:59 lesson 12 16:12 lesson 13 17:06 lesson 14 17:34 lesson 15 18:05 lesson 16 19:38 lesson 17 20:52 lesson 18   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

NOW PLAYING

115: *36 Life Lessons* about love, relationships Attachment

0:00 23:01

No transcript for this episode yet

We transcribe on demand. Request one and we'll notify you when it's ready — usually under 10 minutes.

Big Old Life: Heather Blackbird interviews people on planet earth. Heather Blackbird loves asking questions. This podcast is a learning experience. Join me, Heather Blackbird, as I talk to people about their lives. Frequency of new episodes is a little all over the place and I'm learning as I go. Big Old Life is a small way of talking about the vastness of life, one person at a time. If you are reading this or found this podcast it's probably because someone you know gave you a link to it. :) Explicit Tales Of A Superstar DJ The Insomniac Spun seemingly out of nowhere from her complacent life in the corporate world, turned seemingly overnight from 16-Hour shift work and into the life of a literally starving artist and working musician, The Protagonist navigates her supposed rise to fame and superstardom on a journey through spiritual awakening, coming-of-age, and intimate self-realization--guided by an omnipresent force and equipped with the power of love, magic, and music. {Enter The Multiverse.} [The Festival Project] The Festival Project, Inc.™ is a multidimensional multimedia platform which encompasses exploratory and artistic social personifications and expressions on cosmic theory, spirituality, growth, health & wellness, philosophy and theoretic dynamics in entertainment such as music, design, film, television, radio, dance and festival culture, art, fashion, literature, and science. The Festival Project™ and its subsidiary Non-Profit, The Collective Complex © aims to challenge modern artistic and philosop Explicit Bitcoin Is Dead Trey Carson Welcome to Bitcoin is Dead, the ultimate Bitcoin variety show where host Trey takes you on a journey through the ever-evolving world of Bitcoin. Each episode brings new personalities, fascinating locations, and insightful conversations with politicians, educators, and innovators shaping the future of Bitcoin. Whether you're a seasoned Bitcoiner or just starting your journey, tune in for thought-provoking discussions, unique perspectives, and a deep dive into the ideas and people driving the Bitcoin revolution. Explicit The Sacred +Profane Podcast nephtaragrace The Sacred + Profane Podcast is a provocative conversation dedicated to cementing a better future for all. We specialize in unpacking the nuances of what is considered sacred and profane, particularly focusing on sex, death, and all that pertains to the circle of life. Our aim in focusing on such ”taboo” subject matter is to demystify what is unconscious, bring to light what has been known for centuries as ”the occult,” and empower the rapid transformation that is occurring on the Planet. Explicit

Frequently Asked Questions

How long is this episode of The Anxious To Secure PODCAST?

This episode is 23 minutes long.

When was this The Anxious To Secure PODCAST episode published?

This episode was published on January 8, 2026.

What is this episode about?

This episode is for the version of you who feels like they’re behind in life… even though they’ve already survived so much 🫂⛈ If you’ve ever thought: ➞ “I should be married by now” ➞ “Everyone else has it figured out except me” ➞ “Why do I always...

Is there a transcript available for this episode?

Yes, a full transcript is available for this episode. You can read the complete transcript on the episode page.

Can I download this The Anxious To Secure PODCAST episode?

Yes, you can download this episode by clicking the download button on the episode player, or subscribe to the podcast in your preferred podcast app for automatic downloads.
URL copied to clipboard!