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A message from Enbridge Gas. Hello and welcome to Retrospection. In this episode we're up against the clock and we look at the 1992 low-budget British science fiction film Split Second. My name's Colin.
I've eaten human hearts for Christ's sake. Very carrio. Ooh! You would've hurt!
You would've funk it! That's not the one I thought you were going to say. It's not? No, the one I thought you were going to say, I purposely didn't write it down because I was convinced you were going to do it.
But you didn't do it. What was the one that you thought I was going to do? I think it was the one we're not partners and I'm not crazy. Something like that.
No. I'm going to go on. You've got to be down. Alright.
Okay. And my name's Colin. Hey, don't be a creep. You're a peep.
Okay. Now, don't be a creep. He said it in a way. It was very creepy.
Was it? Yeah, it was. It was a different reading. Different reading.
Go on then. Different reading. It was a table read. Was that round?
You've got the script. I'll go with different. Okay. And my name's Colin.
Hey, don't be a creep. I'm a peep. Alright. I had lived there as well.
Thank you. That's all we need to hear now. If you could just send the next person in on your way out. You think that's what actors do when they go.
They don't get off of the run. They don't get off of the run. I'm going to do a dash guard. I can do it another way.
Oh God. I'm a man of a million voices. All of them soundless. They don't get wrong.
TMTB says in a flooded future London. Detective Harry Stone hunts a serial killer who murdered his character and has hunted him ever since. But he soon discovers what he is hunting might not be human. You know, the way you did that was better than some of the deliveries in this movie.
Yeah. Well, you know, fuck me for your deliveries. Not babies. Don't do those.
I'm glad. You're not a baby. You're not a baby. Yeah.
You're not a baby. You're not a baby. Yeah. You're not a baby.
Yeah. You're not a baby. Yeah. You're not a baby.
Don't be doing a business end. Stay up the top. All right. You've got to do it at the business end.
Stay up the top. Is that what you catch, Raze? It is now. Yeah.
But that is a t-shirt. The film stars. Rooka Hoe has Hurley Stone. Kim Catrell has Michelle McLean.
Alistair Duncan has Detective Dick Durkin. Michael J. Pollard has the Rat Catcher. Alan Armstrong has Frasher.
Pete's possible weight as Paulson. And Ian Dury has JJ. It's a good cast. You can't say it's not a good cast.
It's best Ian Dury albums. Come on, Paul. I don't know. Do it yourself.
1979. New Boots and Pances. New Boots and Pances. 1977's Stiff Records.
Come on, Paul. It's not really a big Ian Dury fan. Oh, you're fired. Get out.
What's that song? Hit me with either of these stick or something? Ah, such a lame-o. It kind of rubs me out the wrong way.
I don't know why. You like being rubbed up the wrong way? Depends on who's rubbing me. It does.
It's Ian Dury. I'm not really that fast. No, if it's a guy called Bruno, you're all for it. Hey, don't knock it till you try it.
No, one. Get in the song. It might, but he's got special hands. Written by Gary Scott Thompson and directed, mostly, by Tony Mae Lam.
He's not called Mae Ham. Tony Mae Ham. He's a cop. He doesn't play by the rules.
He makes them. But every day, for this detective is Mae Ham. See? Again, better than anything written in this movie.
The original scripts called Pentergram. It was actually said in LA. It wasn't there. It wasn't about whatever this is.
It was all creatures or anything. That's why the astrology bleeds into this script. Pentecalums and mysticism. Originally, with Harrison Furtimind.
Shoot for the stars, eh? Yep. Yeah. In my little lower lab.
I wonder how many went through before they got to Rooka Hower? Well, if you think about it, it's just a cast of Blade Runner. So probably not that far. It's just my friend James.
Brian James is he free? Rooka Hower's career. It's a strange one, isn't it? Because I always wonder if after Blade Runner, he would just take whatever was offered to him.
He's done some turkeys. Yeah. He doesn't do movies as well, but he's done some really... He was what I call a jobbing actor.
I think that's what it is, and I think that's what this is as well. Yeah, yeah. Steven Narrington designed the creature. What other things did he design, Paul?
I don't know. What did he design? Well, he was part of the creature crew one, aliens, and alien three. Which, this looks very similar, except obviously he shopped at OddBins for the pirates.
It does have a very alien vibe to it, doesn't it? And considering that he only apparently had three weeks to design the creature in this movie. Three weeks, okay. Can I make sense really?
It does, yeah. It resembles something else quite a lot. It does, yeah. Yeah.
Scrapes was being rewritten during filming. Yeah, and the actual movie was shot in eight weeks, with three weeks of pre-production. Does it show? Does it?
Well, I'll talk about that in my summarization. Oh, right. Oh, that's gonna be interesting, can't you? Yeah.
Ian Sharp stepped in to finish directing after Maelam walked away. What else did Ian Sharp direct, Paul? No, you keep doing this to me. Sorry, because usually you're the one that copies in place from IMDB.
I don't know, I don't copy it. I don't copy, I don't paste. Sorry. I don't know what he directed.
I did read that the original director, as you say, told me I'm quit, because he said that he was stressed out. That's fair enough. Is that what you're doing? He's stressed out.
So yeah. He's tough out, and that's it. I'm done. Are you a five million dollar film?
Five. Oh, I'm seven. Oh, you did? It's gone up inflation.
Yeah. So, what did he direct? Who does wins? Oh, yeah.
What's the word sound? What's that supposed to communicate? That was what he's thinking. What do you do?
What do you fake? Yes. You do a Kenneth Williams impression? I wasn't really Kenneth Williams, was it?
It was your impression of Kenneth Williams. No, my impression of Kenneth Williams is more. Oh, that's so good. That was worse.
That was almost racist. Yeah, yeah. What do you got on there? What's the reason?
He can turn out a good movie that guy then, in the shot. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we don't know how much time he had to suddenly step in and work on this. I think.
Well, I'm not pinning the blame on him. The blame? Oh, interesting. So how good it is?
Oh, okay. He, I think he directed most of the last sort of, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Confrontation, if you can call it that.
I read that the film underperformed in the USA because it was released at the same time as the LA riots. Yeah, yeah, that's the reason. You keep clinging to that one. Yeah.
Go on. Give it a go. It's a good enough reason to have, isn't it? It's not the dog ate my homework, is it?
It's not that kind of excuse. No, no, no. This film was made in 1992 and is set in 2008 with a flooded London. They weren't very optimistic setting it in their 16 years in the future.
Global warming was, I know it's still a thing, but it was just becoming a thing, wasn't it? No, it's been a thing. I watched an episode of the chips from the 1970s and Global warming was a thing in one of the episodes. It's been around a long time, Paul.
She was been around a long time, but I was just something across my path. It shows you how lack we've been actually doing something about it. In all fairness to this movie, though, it is an interesting idea, an interesting setting, a London that's partially swamped by large puddles. Yeah, I mean, I assumed that they set it so close to the present time that it was being made, because if you say it's too far in the future, then you have to imagine a world that is totally unlike ours, but if it's just 16 years, then it's pretty much the same, but with water.
Yeah, I think, and this is something I'm going to mention in my summary, that there is a movie here trying to get out. There's some good ideas in this, and I think that it's the kind of movie that if you made it today with a bigger budget and I'd better send for an idea. So, I mean, if I was going to remake this, I would have, I'd go full on and set it maybe. Here we go.
There we go. Paul, the director brought it. I'd set it maybe 30 years in the future. 30 years in the future?
From 1992? Not from now. From now? Oh, from now.
Same thing has happened. London's been swamped by water, but I get rid of cars altogether, and the streets are just, it's all boats and things. It's all boats and boats. What kind of budget are we shooting for?
Oh, yeah, it wouldn't be 7, 7 million. I was just wondering about that. Yeah, yeah. You need a few sets for that.
But it's an interesting idea, isn't it? Yeah, London's become the Venice of the future. Yeah, yeah, definitely. But they couldn't do it because obviously they didn't have the money.
But you know, no, you're right. In the crawl that appears on the screen setting the film up, it says it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. Obviously the biblical reference, but would that be enough to flood London? That sounds like a summer.
I don't know. It rained for one night outside my house and my garage got flooded a year ago. They just outside your house. That's a bad data.
I don't know the way we got about that. Just outside. Everybody else is going, look at that. It's pissing down over there.
Nor where else. Is that one black plate that hangs over me all the time? We open with a police hovercraft, which is neat looking, right? Especially as it goes through the Tansbury, the Tansbury nut work?
It's 40 days or 40 nights. It's gone over at some point. It doesn't even look close. It doesn't.
To be honest with you, they figure out this whole film. They say that London's flooded. But the only time you ever see actual flooded is a couple of inches of puddles outside of certain buildings and rest of the time. They're driving through central London and it's just a bit wet.
It's rained. On the street. Yeah. Yeah.
I do get, like, so that's just a long vibe. So when we see Ruka putting on his glasses, although I didn't notice, he starts by holding this massive gun up in the air. But after a few steps, he loads it to rest on his shoulder. Like he's like, oh, that's actually heavier than I thought it would be.
He's like, yeah, a macho. Oh, geez. Hold on. This is heavy.
He used dressed a bit like he's going to an S&M convention, isn't he? Yeah. I mean, I keep pulling up later on. But it's like whoever designed it looks at later on when, yeah, let's just do that, but cheaper.
They certainly seen as well where he's coming out and he walks and gets into his Jeep. I was, as well as the Blaigrunner stuff, which is in a minute in the nightclub. He's definitely Blaigrunner, isn't he? I was also getting vibes of Escape from New York.
Yes. Yes. Yeah. It's pulling in from a lot of low budget.
Definitely. It's got a whiff of 70s airplane disaster movies to it as well. Okay. It's a bit of a weird one.
All right. So we're after a good start. Now, Stoney's, we get radio messages that Stoney's armed and considered dangerous. So at first you're like, wait, is he the good guy?
Is he a villain or what? And he's being followed by another detective. He's a rogue element. He's a rogue.
Okay. Okay. Any, he likes this guy with a burn. It's a flamethrower, isn't it?
Basically. Yeah. Yeah. So he goes to an nightclub and he calls the dog a dickhead.
He does. No, the dog's probably thinking the same thing. Probably. Wait, it looks him.
And this is Underground Club. Again, we say he's Blaigrunner, but he's like Blaigrunner, but cheaper British and a British shit, isn't it? It reminds me of it. You remember when we went for a period where these British TV shows did these like sci-fi stuff, but clearly didn't have the scripts on the budget?
One of them that I positively hated, but you loved. Oh, come on. Remind me. Bugs.
No, hang on a minute. Hang on a minute. Where is this? There we go.
This is where Paul reshapes history. Hang on. Get ready for this. Get ready for this.
This is a re-farming of it. You've said you've laid this on me before. Where did this come from that I used to watch? Bro, you tell him that you loved it.
I had no memory of that. And he say it's shit. Was that a box? Yeah, that was a box.
The one with the guy from neighbors. Wasn't he from Eldorado? I don't think so. I'm sorry.
Two old men get confused over soap operas. Stand by for action. Well, that was bugs then. Yeah, I did watch it.
This is the episode that goes for the podcast in a world. Two old men trying to remember a name of an act, Jesse Bird or something like that. Something like that. Looks like Matt Kermod.
Oh, yeah. He was in it. Wasn't he? Oh, was that a box?
That was bugs. Yeah, I think kind of like that. Yeah. Yeah.
See. Ding, ding, ding. Yeah, all right. I'll give you that one.
Yeah. This is what this reminds me of that. Oh, it's not Bugs quality, is it? When you say that, do you mean it's not reaching the levels of bugs called in highness?
Or it's not going as low as bugs? No, the first one. Really? Yeah.
It's not. Come on. I mean, bugs had BBC money behind it. It's got to be carried from something, doesn't it?
Do you know what channel it ran on? BBC, wasn't it? Was it BBC? Yeah.
All right. It's coming back to me. It's coming back to me. It's coming back to me.
It's going back to me. It's going back to me. It's going back to me. Is it like a bad dream?
It's a Saturday night on BBC. I remember it night. It's coming back to me. How you doing?
Yeah. It's a shame. Yeah. Actually, I hated it when it was showing original yellow fred tree.
This is weird. Why were we talking about this? But anyway, and then I've re-watched it recently because I acquired it somehow. And I quite enjoyed it.
Silly. But fun. So there you go. People change.
Things change. We all move on. Anyway, well, let's go. It's going.
It's just like, wow, look at it. Give me a cup of tea at the end of the episode. We'll just play this back and get it. So he goes to a nightclub that's run by JJ and he only drinks coffee.
Yeah, he does. And we should say that his diet is coffee, chocolate and anxiety. And that was apparently labelled the rook at Howard Diet. Well, in real life.
In real life. Yeah. I mean, you could probably alleviate the anxiety by cutting out the coffee and the chocolate. But also, apart from that, it sounds like my diet.
But anyway, just don't seem anxious to you. When I think anxiety, I think Woody Allen. I'm not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
You know, that kind of thing. I don't think of a guy running around shooting people. So, yeah, so he doesn't drink alcohol. Yeah, so he doesn't drink alcohol.
He wants two coffees extra sugar. Yeah. I like sugar in my coffee. I don't drink coffee.
I don't like coffee. Oh, no, you don't like anything. Is this true? Yeah.
I like it. I mean, your ideal of a perfect world will be like in Star Trek when they just get those green squares. Do we? I like something, so.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Beer you like. I do. Would you be gutted if beer came in like a green square?
Yeah, I think I would. What is it? What is it mean? What is it about the beer?
Like, is it the fact you get intoxicated? Really, it's not because you're drinking like the cheapest crap you can buy. No, this is not cheap, cheap. Oh, it is.
It's down there. Look, we don't have to talk about it. You want to step away from riding a pickup, rocking, shooting, building. We don't have to cast dispersions on what beer I'm drinking.
All I'm saying is I drink it because I like the taste of beer. I do like it. I obviously like the other aspects of it as well. Why are we talking about me drinking beer?
No, no, no, no. Just to talk about this, I really don't like pills now. Do you know? That type of beer.
Discovered, then I'm just not a fan. I can recognise it blindfolded. Mm-hmm. And I don't like it.
I don't know. I just don't knock keen on it. Every pills now I've ever tasted. No matter who makes it, just don't like it.
Mm-hmm. Well, you're a... You're a... OK, man.
Yep. There you go. Looks like Count says IPA. Says yes.
Have you noticed we're not talking about this film much? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get back to the film. Good luck editing this one.
Oh, it'd be fun. Was it? So, why is in the... Bar?
A woman goes for a penny to the loo and she asks him to watch the door? Yeah, don't be a creep. Can't you? I'll get creep.
Yeah, don't be a creep. Yeah, don't be a creep. And she gets killed. She does.
And he... When he goes in and looks at the body, he covers her up with his coats. I'll be making sure I get that back. It's an odd coat.
That was my point as well. Does he do that with everything? Has he got like... Is he like...
Charging it to work? Yeah. Oh, what's this for a leather coat? Another one?
Yeah, yeah. It's got blood on it. He does start wearing it again. So he obviously gets it back.
Who gives it back? Did he sneaks in? Takes other body layer. Yeah, he's got his name, like a child with his undersharts or something.
Got name in it. Yeah, probably. Oh, it's storms. Did they dry clean up before they give it anything?
I already hope so. Yeah, I would too. Blood's really hard to get out of leather. Everything's growing.
You would know. I remember when you tried to get it out of the inside of that gib mask. Yeah, I was hard work. I'd just scrub it really hard.
Bigger-ishly. Yeah, bigger-ish. So he goes back after the murder. He goes back to the police station.
Yes. And Captain Exposition. Oh, can I interrupt here, sorry? Can I point out that he keeps talking to the dog?
Sorry, before he goes back. He does keep talking to the dog, doesn't he? Yeah. I mean, it calls the dog a dickhead again.
It's like, I know what you've seen. You've seen the killer and all this stuff in the bar. And at first I was thinking we were in a future where dogs can talk. And the rest of the film is stone, having to protect the dog as a witness.
Mayhem II. When Tony Mayhem is classed to protect a canine witness, Mayhem ensues. And only one of them is house tree. I watch it.
Yeah, you watch me. Yeah, you do a podcast on it. Give me a k-mat. Right.
But I'm going to tell me about it. So, yeah, so I wonder whether that was going to go anywhere. Yeah. With the dog.
Yeah. No, no, even like he may be a dog or something. I'll help him at some point. You know, he kicked the door open and the dog came poker.
What have we done with the dog thing? One of them is playing pool in a corner. So why did he keep talking to dogs? The same scene happens again, like with a child, doesn't it?
That doesn't go anywhere either. No. So stone can sense the killer is around, but loses him and says, I can hear his heartbeat. I mean, really?
I mean, fair enough, it is loud. We can bloody hear it. Yeah, but there is a reason for that, right? I mean, the chances are this killer is going to die by heart attack.
Well, the link. Yeah. So loud. It is, it is rather loud.
Yes. So they go back to the police station and Captain Exposition fills everyone in on Stone's backstory, doesn't it? Frasher. What?
That's his name, Frasher. Frasher. Oh, is it? Yeah.
I didn't know. In the credits. Do you think the dialogue feels like something that we might have written when we were 14 years old? Oh, yeah.
Like, is it? Well, is it? His police partner, Foster was murdered by serial killer, and Stone was having a refer with Foster's wife. It's probably why he didn't try to have to say Foster.
That's probably right. Yeah. Yeah. And then filled with guilty, he left her and hit the booze, lives on coffee and zagatia and chocolate.
Yeah. It was very, one of the ones that made me cringe, and he's only a little, I'm looking throw away like that. But it's so cringe-worthy is when Durkin says to the Captain Guy, they say he's the best, and he looks at him and he is. This is after saying that Stone shot a trash can.
It's a trash can. It's a trash can. It's a trash can. It's a trash can.
It's a trash can. It's a trash can. It's a trash can. It's a trash can.
It's a trash can. It's a trash can. Oh, yeah. He's really the best.
He's shooting garbage cans. So I noticed there's a lot of Americanisms in this film. Do you think they had an eye on the American American? Oh, this is something I was going to say to you as well.
It's got that embarrassment factor, were, you know, it sounded a lot. Particularly in the 90s, I thought. The late 80s, early 90s, when we went through this phase in British cinema where we tried to do a lot of American style movies, set in the UK, but gave them dialogue that is better suited to American actors. So when they say it with the British accent, it all seems a bit shit.
Yeah. And you also have to point out one tent for the bloodshed. Exactly. Yeah.
It's kind of cringy, isn't it, and a bit embarrassing. Yeah. And especially as you look at this, pretty much everybody in it is a British TV act. Yeah.
But we've got Pete Pothol's weight. Although he wasn't anything exacting then, wasn't he? That's what I mean. Like a lot of the people go on to bed at this point.
Even some of the background actors are like, oh, he was in that show and he was in this. Yeah. So he's not giving a cell stone because he's having a bit of a meltdown, isn't he? He's not shaking the bat, doesn't he?
Screaming. Yeah. You don't remember this bit at all, do you? No.
I can see all your thoughts. I've got that he enters the HQ and he's getting coffee. Why is it? Why is it?
And then that pulse and he's like, what the fuck are you doing here? I thought why have I done America? They weren't American. They weren't American.
They were doing British. What the fuck are you doing here? I thought you were suspended. I'm getting a coffee, mate.
It's like no coffee for people who suspended. So I don't remember the cell bit. I blanked that. Yeah, because he had the meltdown at the crime scene, didn't he?
He thought he was having a heart attack and they had to take him away. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, he had so many bad downs.
It was hard to remember which one you're talking about. Yeah. But the bit that you were just talking about with the cop that hates stones guts, I'm going to point him out as we hit every single one. Please shake number one.
Actually, no, it's about three at this point, isn't it? I missed the previous one. Yeah, you missed them. But there's every cliche you can think of with some kind of cop thing is in this movie, isn't it?
Yeah. Yeah. So Stone is called into fresher's office and Stone tells him the killer is back. And at this point, fresher likes looks off screen and says, I thought you said this guy wouldn't be back and then Durkin steps into screen.
I mean, nice director because I was wondering who the hell's fresher talking to? You're supposed to establish who's in the room before anybody speaks to them. Not suddenly look off screen and go, oh, hello. And then have your actor walk in.
It all feels a bit amateur out, doesn't it? Jelly, it's pretty basic to know that you kind of need to tell people who can't have room before you start dialogue. Yeah, definitely. Well, this is Dick Durkin.
It is. Yeah. And he's like a graduate. He's a cliche number.
He's like a college graduate to knows all about psychology and criminology. And obviously Stone thinks he's a nerd. But this, oh, this point. Yes.
I'm not saying Dick Durkin sounds like a sex toy, doesn't it? That one, no. Of course. So, Rog, how can I decide in this movie?
Is he being intense as an actor or is he just untaken it seriously or is he just winging it? I don't think he's camping. So he's not in any tense. I walked into that.
You think he's winging it or is he invested? He's pretty much everything. It's very hard to say. Yeah.
It's hard to say. You know, I mean, maybe he's just enjoying himself. Yeah. The way he plays it, there's a little bit of a Roy Batty in there as well, isn't it?
Yeah, that's the way I was like, oh, there's a lot of a blade runner in this. And we'll end up with his paranoid apparently and he carries multiple guns. And we get all this shouting and like, so he was suspended and now he's now off suspension and back on duty. But he's got to take Durkin as a part of his condition.
Yeah, but what did he do previously? His boss went, you know what? I don't think he should be suspended anymore. You're clearly well balanced.
Yeah, there is that. And he takes his gun off him, doesn't he? At this point, doesn't he give him his gun back? He's taking the guns off him?
He's not going to say. He's not to say because he's no longer suspended. So why would he take his gun off him? And never has there been so many guns in the movie and none of them look real.
I'm pretty sure some of them are just just nerve guns painted black. Yeah. And of course, Stone says the immortal lines. I work alone.
Of course. There's another cliché. Yes. Learn to get a massive package delivered headquarters, which is full of detectives who don't see it being delivered and it contains a hurt on ice.
See, I thought another thing that would have been interesting that I thought we were going to get is maybe no one ever sees this killer because he can take over things, take over people, like he could have taken over the dog, could have been inside the kid that he talks to later, could have been in one of the cops in the precinct, uses them because it's supernatural, isn't it? You know, that would have been more interesting than an alien creature knockoff that we get later. So then who delivered this package, the alien in a bicycle helmet and the delivery costume? Yeah, or nobody saw, nobody noticed another cop walking that everybody knows, put it down.
But it's not a small package. It's a massive crate. I was like, is this the alien in a bicycle helmet going, where is Stone? Yeah, just over there.
Who delivered it? I can't remember. In a little helmet and high visibility tabard. And claws.
But don't you think a non-corporeal kind of bag guy in this movie that could possess people would have been again more interesting than a rubber creature that we get later? Yeah, I think so. Although I would like to have had the scene with the creature booking the delivery. Where would you like this to go, sir?
Aye, okay. Just stood in line, waited. Yeah. Aye, on number two, please.
No. To the council. You're in a Terry Pratchett going out here, if I could tell. I just tried to pay for it.
Where's he got the body from? How's he paying for this to look like? He's got a cop. Seriously, obviously.
Doing what? Like London Dungeons? There's an alien. He jumps out at people.