Hello and welcome to No Applons, it's just the Clap, I'm Doug with Means Deb and Lizzy, the only show where we should have written down the opening. Sorry, it was from last night, I took too many of it really, I just leave. Um, no, I probably wasn't genius. Oh, was it the whole thing about there needs to be a Paul Blart SVU?
Oh, oh, oh, no. Oh, definitely. I did say that yesterday. Yes, you did.
Actually, you texted me and then I came out of the kitchen. What? It was all based on, I don't know if you listened to the new Doug Bluffs movies, the ones that I should have gennings in. Jeff Tate's talking about how...
Jeff Tate, you're doing it? No, the other, no. Which is weird because that Jeff Tate actually has the Twitter handle, the other Jeff Tate because the comedian Jeff Tate beat him to it. That's funny.
But he was talking about how, like, this kid was scared about the model, he was like a big beard. And he's like, no, no, like, I'm looking at the face, like, I can teach you stuff. Like, don't be afraid. And then since that's something about probably molested by a Santa, he's like, I'm going to see a Paul Blart SVU.
I was drunk so hard not to, like, openly guffaw and so close. I was like, okay, just laugh. You know, so here's like growing his beard down a little and he's starting to look more like Rasputin. We're friends on Facebook now.
No, so he's in the picture. So same as the teenager with all the hands. Yeah. He's looking more and more...
Rasputin? Crazy Russian muck. I don't know. It's just weird.
So Ryan and I go with watch it. Did you watch the clip that's on the internet with the crime kit instead of the human? No, I watch it on your mother. I know for a fact that she's really watching this.
What's up, what's up? I'm going to do it. It's really good. Daniel's the bad guy.
Daniel's the bad guy. How much did you spend? Johnny was really trying to defend himself and kept pushing off Johnny Daniels. Very aggressive fighting.
He was really defending himself until the crazy Asian pedophile man showed up. Child beater. Sorry, not bad. Child beater.
Not better. They go into Johnny's sanctum, which is the dojo. He's trying to, you know, learn to meditate, control his anger and change his life. God.
Again, Daniel. They're trying to defend himself. Once they, once Johnny agrees that he'll do all that, then it's obvious. Daniel's advances.
Daniel still throws his face. Oh, it goes with all that. Oh my God. Yeah.
I got to see this. It's pretty good. I know it went viral a couple of days ago. I just was like, oh, yeah.
The whole thing. The whole thing, like Barney from the time that your mother was like, he's like, he's like, yeah. He's talking about how I just based Johnny's. Johnny's.
Johnny's. Thank you. I forget that. Johnny was like the karate kid and it's the main character.
He also roots for the Terminator. Yeah. He's a Terminator. So since you haven't had any new TV to watch, you finally got around to one of my recommendations.
Yeah, I watched Rick and Morty. I mean, I was going to get to it eventually. But with everything ending before the Fall season starts, I've kind of hit like a dead spot. So you have like three weeks down the Stilford and Fall season starts.
Yeah. Cause everything's like right around the- It's a different brand on my right there. Yeah. And then yeah, walking dead on October.
But, you know, it's Dan Harmon. So I'm going to watch it. Just not on a time frame. But I binged it in like two days.
It's a really easy watch. Yeah. Like I said, Mr. VC's episode is still my favorite.
I didn't realize it was so early into the series. Yeah. Mr. Macy's looking me.
The one with Anatomy Park was good. His behind the scenes. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Pirates of the pink race. Mr. Toad Wild Ride. Let's be honest.
No, everyone wants Mr. Toad Wild Ride. Nobody wants Mr. Toad Wild Ride.
No, no, no. No, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no.
No, no, no. No, no. No, no, no. No, no, no.
No, no, no. No, no. No, no, no. No, no, no.
No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. Oh, no, no.
Oh, come on. like taking away the power of the devil or something, right? He can fight him. He sets a shot across the street to decurse all of the three items.
I didn't know the guy that did Rick and Morty, the voices are the same guy. Yeah. So that was interesting. It took a while to get over the application of him for being in the middle of words.
Now you kind of love it? Well, first episode is just so gross. Like I know he's an alcoholic and I get it. Because the first thing you see is he's drunk and going, what is it?
Drop a new front bomb on the town? Something like that. Because he's like, oh god, I'm already in the middle. I built a flying car and stuff in the garage.
It's pretty cool. It did. And just a little bit of drool. He's always got it.
No, I think the other one I really liked was the Unity one, where he reconnects with the next girlfriend. It's like a collective hive mind. It's not going to be the second season because there's the nice guy who's in the friend zone, who's another hive mind. That looked like the Borg and the voice by Patton.
So the general, not the comedian. That'd be weird, wouldn't it? No, the second season's really good. They had a big gap between the two.
Yeah, they did. Really didn't think they were going to do a second season. It's already got renewed for three. It's awesome.
And it's really funny because I kind of forgotten about it until they had a random Simpsons opening, where it ended up being them. And they accidentally come and kill everyone and then have to go somewhere else and get new Simpsons characters to put back in. Nice. I'll break it in Morty.
Exactly. Yes, I want to get the shirt where they're walking through a portal. And he's all like, well, I guess the portal ends up on a t-shirt. If you guys, I mean, I should say, I've used the episode with all of the ricks and mortis.
And he's like, get your Morty here. Or the, yeah. More to guarantee, one free Morty coupon. Yes.
He's all like, don't be insulting. Yeah, it's the console of ricks or whatever. Absolutely. It's very actually fantastic for, because there's a console of reeds.
What? A console of reeds. Reed Richards? Seriously?
Mm-hmm. Would it still have been a better movie? Yeah, probably. But one of them's like the doctor dealing with his world, but it's still Reed Richards.
Hilarity ensues. Oh, one of them's got to be bad or like there's no twist. What's always the bad guy? It's the one with the goatee.
Yes, that's very true. The very good guy. Oh, yeah. Take a bad tee.
That's the British. And the British are like this. They're always coming. All this.
I'm surprised they can follow that up. There's a place there. Oh, I was going to say I'm a choice. I'm going to make a work.
OK. I thought about it. That thought had occurred to me. But much like the way I'm putting my character in a video, I want to be more uncomfortable.
The secret psychopath? No, he's not. It's not a secret. One of the episode descriptions actually ends with also, there's torture.
That was him. Oh, well, I am random. Because Brandon's the one that cauterized the wound and then shoved the brain in the gut's face. I'm just like, I'm just trying to hide it from the mid-s knee.
Why did I eat? Because you're a good one. You're a twit. I was trying to get him to stop the robot from coming.
So I started. There are androids he made. They're like dumb. The robot were controlled.
We're creative about this little mission guy. So I shot the mission in the knee. He was like, grab the arrows. He's spinning around.
A circle. I'll try to get him to take the robot stop. But apparently they won't get to their deaths. We killed him.
The character died almost. Primly? No, no, no, no. Definitely.
You do it back. You're right. That sounds raving. But yeah, the after- I think the arrow back.
Well, you need to preface that with you. Well, I said, yeah. I think the knee kept with it. Oh, it's like shot at a robot.
It's hanging. I was here. I pulled the arrow out. I went, okay, which direction do you pull it out?
He goes, does that matter? I'm like, it could. He's like, I pull it out that way. No, knee cap.
This way. Kneecamp. He's the kind of DM where you would need to keep dry spell so you could get them again. Yeah.
Keep dry spell so you wouldn't get them. You just said. The 20 most useful spell to be at the one was a. Keep the wizard.
Keep the wizard from getting wet. It's like a clock. Aqua for pelvis. Aqua for pelvis.
Yeah. Listen to where you came from. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
I'm not sure. Drug makes up Harry Potter's thoughts. Sorry, I lost my turn to thought now. Great.
We were unworking. That's great. He's not so sweet a lot of sociopaths based on the notes he gave me at the end of the game. I'm not sure.
I'm not ever. I'm not sure. I'm probably going to do this constantly. I'm not sure.
Yeah, I'm talking to Emma at work. We were talking about, you know, we're about on level three and stuff. I did that. Cool.
Yeah, cause I took Emma through and she's going to go through and pick her little animal or medium sized animal. But it's just great because her notes are like this much paper. than mine are like this, because it's like a couple new spells. This is assuming I survive.
I get to pick which Bard College I belong to. Maybe it has a loop. It'll be a bard. The bard college you're going to do?
I'm going to be a trilimed. Ooh. So. Sorry, I'm distracted by my neighbors moving.
That's OK. I'm going to question them falling down the stairs. I just need to look at the bus. You just what?
I'd love to have a little basketball. I'm pretty sure they're just telling something. I'd be on it, Dolly. On the stairs?
Like a basketball. Yes, basketball is a very heavy pool air. It's going to be with folks with BBR. She's not good at basketball.
T-rex arms. Tiny T-rex arms. Twice away angry all the time. There's some angry stuff there.
So I picked up a book. And you got it. I'm not angry. Just one crusher spirit, which is, you know, would be unfortunate.
OK. No, no. I'm here to talk about crushing spirits. You're a spirit?
I was questioning. Oh. So I picked up a book on a whim because Doug had recommended it to me a while ago called the Pro. You never read it?
Yeah. I guess I'd write that. This is the first time you read it. I've read it before.
It's the first because, you know, with her, the saint, is very well publicized. It's a really short book and it's super easy reading. It totally cracked me up. I sat there and do more.
I think he always was a Garthans. An Amanda Conner. I lived at the art. I'm a huge, huge fan of her art.
I actually was one of the first books where she really got a lot more credit. Is it pro? Yeah. Yeah.
And then that ended up really, that was her way kind of her way in and then her big breakthrough where she did Power Girl with Jeff Johns. Cleaning up that horrible, horrible origin story. But she's actually married to another for an inker from a full of clone of Supergirl. No, she's a Beltanette Earth, Supergirl sort of.
They also had like, she was also like, is she, huh? Why did she use the cheap boobs? Genetic modification. Okay.
If you're going to clone a girl, you might as well bring one. Yeah, haven't you ever seen X Machina? No. Oh.
Still haven't seen it. Well, we're not going to run to do it. Well, we're already on sex with the robots because that's what you would do. Think about it, aren't you?
I do. Next song. I also have been listening to Felicia Days' new book, which is never weird on the internet, almost. Apparently she had the same small addiction to an online name.
I did. I played this game a number of years ago around the same time she did called The Oval Puzzle Pirates. Love that frickin' game, because I only like puzzle games. And so, like I said, she was talking about getting addicted to it.
And then it turned into this thing where she was part of a group there. But the group ended up dissolving because one of the characters fell in love with another character and left her husband in the last custody of her kids. And I'm like, this is a game about puzzles where you're a pirate. You're just trying to sail around and get gold and make cute outfits.
Sounds like a good one. Actually, this is before her World of Warcraft edition. I'm just getting into her story. Did you ever see the guild?
Of course, it's not the guilds. And of course, it's not the guilds. Brandon never has, and they can watch all of it. But yeah.
That's kind of what got her famous, actually. Well, I mean, she was a bit of a Buffy, but she was only in a handful of episodes. Really in the handful of episodes. Well, it's interesting, though, because I got into the part where she's talked about how she got a lot of commercial work during that time period.
Like, she did a lot of commercials. Did she? Yeah. They made a lot of money.
But listening to her describe her mother's attempted homeschooling is hilarious. Attempt is right. Well, it's at the moment she gives up. Well, she started she eyes like teachers, too.
Like teachers, too. And so she started trying to teach her and her brother, because her mom was so crazy over the last day of the day. But they were stationed down in the deep south, because her dad was an army surgeon. So they were like, I want to say they were down like Mississippi.
But apparently, the estate had no records of them, so they weren't required to go to school. She didn't take any standardized testing until she had to go to college. But yeah, her mom basically gave up, and at some point just started taking her to a bunch of lessons. So she would do dancing and cross stitch.
I was going to say all sorts of stuff like that, and she started referring to as her gatial lessons. Okay. But she was crazy good at math. She went to school and got a double degree in music.
She was a violinist. She was a violinist. And I was going to say she started college early at age 16, which is funny, because she's trying to describe how awkward she is at college because her mother would drive her there every day. And she went to school at Austin?
Yeah. Socializing not to respond for it. And so then Austin, not Austin. I don't know.
But yeah, pick up Fleecy Days new book, it's excellent. And I still play Yohobasal Pirates. But I don't want to say any of the audio book. Yes.
Okay. That's right by the author. Didn't you have a book before that? No.
She's never written a book before this. She did do a reading and collected tales of drist, which I hate because she tried to do accents or a terrible... Yeah. By the way, I told Brandon, but Ari Salvant was doing a signing in a couple weeks at the Teder cover.
Cool. Sorry. That would be when people go, oh, I want the digital version of the book. Well, I'm not going to let him sign my iPhone.
Like, that's why I like having books. One of the reasons I like having books. You think it's something? Wow.
That went there. You're going to sign my pants, Elf. You know, pillow pants. I have my character sheet.
That would be rad. That would be rad. We probably don't know that. What's interesting though is that...
Well, Driss is a drow. That's actually a happy and signed mine. I sent you that complete Star Wars new canon, which unfortunately now means Brandon's going to start collecting all the canon books. That one's on me shouldn't have done that.
But it illuminated a series of books that Ari Salvant were actually wrote the first one up. And I want to say that's like an order of the... Phoenix. Yes, that's what it was guys.
Order of the Phoenix. Really? I'll have to ask Brandon. Don't always like, he was the false Harry.
He was like, go for the legs. Go for the legs. Go for the legs. Go for the legs.
Get a body bag. That part can't be in that edit. There's no way. Okay, yeah.
That would totally shatter the illusion. That does talk about the accident or maybe it was like... It's pretty funny. It's pretty funny.
I'm not going to say that. It's not going to be in that edit. There's no way. That would totally shatter the illusion.
That would totally shatter the illusion. That does talk about the accident or maybe it was like... It's pretty funny. It's really good.
You really have to watch this. Is it better than the video I showed you yesterday? Which video? The one with the foam suit and the surprise ending?
Ah. There you go. There's this... It comes into the kitchen.
It works. It's right. It totally starts making me watch this video. It looks like someone in a foam suit with exaggerated butt and boobs.
And a sign that says I want to say what, free hugs or something like that? No, it's a well spank you for food. And he told us the reveal that it's a guy in clown makeup. He's like, ah!
Not okay, clown makeup. Like, it's like a... He's got these like, enormous foam boobs and this enormous foam ass. Like, down to the hand gestures.
That's kind of creepy. And then the look on his face and he's like, oh, he just did that. Speaking of being awkward, Merrin had his finale. Yeah, Miss Puck was this last week.
It ended with him misusing Oxy-Con. And Koki. And Koki getting re-addicted to the painkillers. Which ends with him like smoking a cigarette while passing out on the floor while trying to interview Ken Marino on the pilot of his talk show.
And he's all, Tom's not a smoke-down set. As he's passing out. But yeah, like, he basically stages an intervention. Andy Kindler, Dave Anthony, whatever his intern is, he's big head on Silicon Valley.
There was someone else there I can't remember off the top of my head. How's the intervention, yeah? Dave Anthony steals his pills and then Merrin's like, ha ha, he just stole a bunch of Canadian laxatives. And then reveals that he hid the pills underneath like this fruit basket.
So there's no redemption here at all? I don't know, it's just a weird thing. You know, most of Merrin is like semi-automated, yeah, it's exaggerated. And to have him do like a relapse is like, I don't know if he ever did that or probably.
But it also shows the horribleness of like the studio machine in terms of getting a show and like what they want to change. And he's like, we hard do a writer. And he's like, we don't need one. But they still hire him.
And of course, Rob's Merrin the wrong way. And he's worried about what kind of cherries and I have. So he tucks it all up? He does.
He dugs it all up. Sorry, should I not put it like that? He just breaded my name. Oh, he breaded pretty again.
You mean tennis elbow? The opposite of Batman? Jim Belushi. That was good.
All right, what do you want to say about smoking and vaping? So there were a couple of things that came out this week. The first thing was the, uh, there's a study that came out that said that vaping is 95% safer. Not safe, let's see, let's see for smoking.
Well, let me kind of already notice. Yeah, it's a study that came out that said that vaping is 95% safer. Let's see, let's see for smoking. Well, let me kind of already notice.
Yeah, it's a study that came out that said that vaping is 95% safer. Let's see, let's see for smoking. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I've been asking to be blake beat him. But for the first time ever, the FDA has issued warning letters to companies that have been using terms like natural in their campaigns, trying to, obviously, trying to give the consumers that smoking cigarettes pose to be repulsed because those are natural, which is completely useful.
My God, it's thank you for smoking. Companies targeted by the FDA, include the makers of brands like Winston American Spirit and Nat Sherman. All three brands use terms like additive-free and natural with American Spirit using both. I think that tobacco wasn't regulated by the FDA until 2009.
Really? Yeah. I think that's a good idea to actually regulate them before that. But yeah.
Who the fuck smokes next? Sherman's anymore. I'm sure some college kids. Yeah.
Nice mukluks. Hipsters. Disgust. Start.
Please, well, sorry. That's it. Okay. Let's just end to that.
He's spelling bloods name. Yeah, I don't know. Okay. You're welcome.
You want to talk about the brilliant minds behind Fear the Walking Dead? I liked it. I'm not complaining about the show and complaining about the title. The title.
Is he using Texans? Although, I really don't like that main kid. The druggy? The druggy?
Don't like it at all. Oh, I hope he dies really soon. He's got like a James Franco-J Alliance deputy. J Apisingo in that I'm not happy with.
Yeah, he's too pretty to be a junkie. Uh-huh. They just... Oh, they shouldn't like run down the street.
I'm like, no. They just get the six pack. Not like I'm pretty sure. I'm not like emasiated.
He works out. Yeah. I think that he's a... ...in a band in church.
No. And then he shoots a parallel. I think I would just picture him working out in the band in church. And then his friend.
is to be zero and away. Oh. He didn't say it. Yes he did.
Oh no he did it. Oh yes he did. Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry. We have a walk in the day. It's a slow burn which I kind of expected. I was at the beginning.
I like the first person that I was using. I was using one so far. The highest rated premier. I can't remember.
That's surprising that it'd be walking. Well I guess walking dead didn't really catch on. No walking dead didn't catch on for half of the first season. Yeah.
Yeah. Much like breaking back. Breaking back. Oh they didn't know they were going to get a second season.
Yeah. I mean it's a very striking. But slow burn you only see like two zombies. I mean really see two zombies.
See a handful. The girl in the beginning. The drug dealer at the end. Oh and the guy that he was safe.
Whatever you kids use nowadays. That was just awesome. That went viral and they were like oh it's got to be fake. Here's the kill shot.
I'm still making a good shot. I'm still going to give it a couple more episodes and see where it goes. Well he has a couple episodes and see what six episodes maybe. No I think it ends when.
Yes. Yes. Yeah you're right. Whatever it was that by the end of this first season it would only be through each end of the into the virus.
No. Holy shit. And I was wondering what Rick is doing now. I know that I shouldn't be like.
He's in the coma. No he's not. That's what they said. He's in the coma right now.
The writers have said that. Basically they're starting at the point where Rick. It's like considering the same day Rick gets shot is the first day. Okay.
Okay. Cause I was wondering cause I'm like. Is there in Atlanta Mike the conspiracy theorist kid is like who. It's like the fact that I never survives in zombie movies.
They had like the chubby nerdy guy like with the knife and he's like it's safer if their number is like look at the like what's going on in the States. But I was wondering cause it's like there weren't zombies when Rick got shot. So like is this like shortly before he gets shot but they said he's in the coma. Makes sense.
It's the day he gets shot. Same day. Different shit. So something they never really tell what happened.
They kick off the virus. They're not going to. They kind of did. When he's talking about nature like he's not building a fire by which bill of fire is five.
Oh yeah. Nature always wins. Yeah. That's what I think is just nature.
It's a natural course correction for the population being the one. Rover saturated and this is. This is what. It's like an interesting way to rap.
Yeah. Like take the. Which I think is interesting. The other.
Something else that I thought I was watching the first episode was they give them up. They give them up. They give them up. They give you a flu shot.
Maybe someone's here with a flu shot. Okay. I'm so tired. I was saying that I was going to say saying that flu shots do a bunch of shit here.
No, I don't mean. I don't believe that. No, no. I'm just saying.
I totally had a co-worker that was convinced the government was putting like mind control shit and flu shots and I'm just like hearing idiot. Yeah. No. I don't see the point in them because they try and predict which three versions of flu are to be most popular that flu season.
And that's predicted so far ahead that in order to make the vaccine properly that they're usually wrong. I have to tell you every year I got a flu shot. I never got the flu. I've never had the flu until after I stopped getting flu shots, but I also just get sick more often now.
So it's our computer that gets me sick every time. You just don't. You got a flu beer. You got that healthy lifestyle.
You don't sleep normal hours. You drink a lot. You don't sleep normal hours. I sleep from like midnight to eight.
Okay. Some things. Yeah. You don't drink.
You don't eat turquoise balls. And you don't drink turquoise balls. And you drink too. I just call me chubby.
No. I said you don't drink too much. I think he's calling you a zombie. Calling you an alcoholic.
He doesn't exercise. Oh, wait. He just put it on the table. Oh, you don't look at the whole thing.
No, I don't. I own that label. That's not a problem. No, I'm just kidding.
But yeah, I used to get the flu shot thing. I used to get the most. I'm working out and have a better diet, but sometimes. Really?
How's that bad man work yet? Good. I'm doing it. Since they have sort of doing it.
Sorry. No, it's actually going really well. The workout is the easy part. I bumped it up like two sets of each.
How's it feel? Better. My bones aren't popping. How are you going?
You start doing anything? You're only what you're not doing is jumping. But I don't know. The knees get worked out with squats and all that.
It's one thing. It's the... Yeah. It's not stretched out.
Gaining. Ugh. Cabbomess. Yeah, you got straight-thunk off.
No, I want to keep going. No, we were still talking about wanting to do this. We were still talking about wanting to do this. We were talking about working out.
Oh, yeah, we were talking about working out. The diet is the hard part because being out, it's like... Yeah. But when I'm home, it's like I had...
Wait, didn't I make you grilled cheese with ham and tart? It turns off surprise? Yeah. Wow.
Really? You made up for eating healthy for the rest of the day by the morning? Actually, grilled cheese isn't that bad because you don't use butter. No, but with everything else.
And it was probably a little greasy. So good. Oh yeah, I know. It's so good.
I know. It's so good. I just... Isn't there anything you're grilled cheese?
I just... I imagine I have the little... I've got the heart like Mr. Burns.
It's like... It's like your heart's been... Wait, you were doing... Okay.
Oh, what's that? On Wednesday I had grilled chicken and a salad and then Thursday I had brown rice and kale risotto with grilled chicken. Is it really nice and chill? Yeah, and kale risotto.
I did? Cuz it's hard. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a healthy. It's still risotto. It's not like... You didn't say it wasn't risotto.
We said you cheated. She was right here for me risotto. I was like, no, no, no. Hey, I still made it technically.
Yeah, you did like right. Mm-hmm. It's steamable. Okay, did you have more thoughts on food?
Not really. I did right. Shut up. Other than the fact that it could be from flu, because that would be very...
Some would be a... Or it could be nature. I like the idea of nature better. Obviously.