#117: This One Habit Is Destroying Your Quality of Life (Being Low Maintenance)

Being low maintenance isn't a personality trait you were born with. It's a survival strategy you learned so young that you forgot it was ever a choice. And it is costing you more than you realize. Not just in your romantic relationships. In your friendships, at work, in your family, in every room you walk into. You've been showing up agreeable, accommodating, easy to be with. And somehow still ending up feeling unseen, disconnected, and quietly exhausted by it all. Hilary has a name for what's actually happening. It's called self-abandonment. And the reason it's so hard to spot is that it doesn't feel like giving yourself up. It feels like being a good person. In this episode, she breaks down where the low maintenance identity actually comes from, why it gets so deeply hardwired that it fires before you even realize it's happening, and what it's really costing you in every area of your life. Plus four specific shifts that change how you show up, not just in relationships, but everywhere. Because the version of you that takes up space and says what she wants isn't the version that drives people away. She's the version that finally attracts the right ones. Episode Highlights Why "being easy" was never actually about your personality The real word for what low maintenance behavior actually is Where self-abandonment shows up that most women never see coming Why your silence is being read as acceptance The four shifts that bring you back to yourself Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Cost of Being Low Maintenance 00:00 Why Being Low Maintenance Is Quietly Costing You 01:23 How Women Are Conditioned to Stay Small 04:11 Where Self-Abandonment Shows Up in Your Life 08:18 The Truth About What Low Maintenance Actually Means 10:42 Four Shifts That Bring You Back to Yourself 15:16 The Woman Who Takes Up Space Attracts the Right People ✨ I’m Hilary Silver, LCSW, former psychotherapist turned master coach and founder of Ready for Love. I help high-achieving women show up in love as confidently as they do in their careers. 💡 Through this podcast, I share my WOMAN-centered, SELF-centered approach—time-tested methods that blend psychology, brain science, relationship skills, and no-BS dating advice. 🎙️ Since 2017, we’ve helped over 10,000 women with a 98% success rate, making Ready for Love the #1 program in the world for women who’ve tried everything else. ✨ Ready to stop repeating the same patterns and finally create the love you deserve?  🎯 Watch my free masterclass to learn the proven 4-step Ready for Love Method: https://readyforloveinc.com/masterclass 💬 Apply for a free Love Breakthrough Call with my team: https://readyforloveinc.com/apply Hilary’s Substack: https://readyforlove.substack.com/podcast Subscribe for additional insights and reflections from the podcast. AquaTru: Ultra-Pure Water You Can Actually Trust 20% Off Your Countertop Purifier Use Promo Code: READY at AquaTru.com Power of Love Summit: A Free Week of Real Relationship Healing 💛 Join Hilary alongside 40+ leading voices for conversations, meditations, breathwork, and journaling. Save your free spot at readyforloveinc.com/summit