118. You Don’t Have to Be Strong: Rethinking Grief at Work & at Home with Sarah Kagan

What happens when two of the biggest life transitions collide at exactly the same time? For grief coach Sarah Kagan, that meant losing her mother at six months pregnant and learning to live through loss while preparing to bring a new life into the world.Sarah is a mother to two young kids, a former corporate professional who walked away from her career to follow a calling, and someone who is building a platform to change the way we talk about grief, especially in the workplace.In this conversation, Ashley and Sarah dig into what it really means to grieve in real time, why the pressure to “be strong” is one of the most isolating things we do to each other, and what it looks like to hold loss and love at the same time, without having to choose between them.In This EpisodeWhat it means to be a “motherless mother” and why grief hits differently once you’re a parentThe moment at her mother’s Shiva that taught Sarah everything about how we avoid griefWhy “you’re so brave” and “at least she’s not suffering” do more harm than goodThe martyrdom trap — and how stepping out of it changed everything for SarahThe statistic that 51% of people leave their jobs within a year of a major lossHow Sarah rebuilt her work life after leaving corporate — no 9-to-5, Wednesdays for arts and crafts, out by 4pmWhy grief needs a better spokesperson (and what menopause got right)The problem with bereavement leave policies that tell you who you’re allowed to mournAshley opens up about losing her father to suicide and the shame layered on top of certain kinds of lossHow to slow down after caregiving — and why your body will eventually make youSarah’s grief workbook and creative morning kits: where does the love go when someone dies?Quotes From This Episode“There’s so much pressure to cover up or perform or just show up and be like, yeah, I’m fine. But it is a big deal and you need someone else to validate that experience for you.” — Sarah Kagan“Trying to put a period on something that’s an ellipsis.” — Sarah Kagan, on toxic positivity around grief“No one helps you speed up. They just throw it at you and you do it." — Ashley BlackingtonConnect with SarahFind Sarah on LinkedIn: Sarah KaganWebsite: keriahcoaching.comInstagram: @griefcoachsarahConnect with Ashley:Website: https://www.ashleyblackington.comPodcast website: https://www.andbothpodcast.com/Dovetail® App: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dovetail-app/id6744341822Instagram: @mydovetail.appLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyblackington/