12- Meeskite

SCHULTZ sees to it that everyone is seated and ready) Now—the only word you have to know in order to understand my little song is the Yiddish word: "meeskite." "Meeskite" means ugly, funny-looking. "Meeskite" means... (He sings) Meeskite, Meeskite, Once upon a time there was a meeskite, meeskite, Looking in the mirror he would say, "What an awful shock, I got a face that could stop a clock." Meeskite, meeskite, Such a pity on him, he's a meeskite, meeskite, God up in his heaven left him out on a shaky limb, He put a meeskite on him. But listen, he grew up. Even meeskites grow up. (He sings again) And soon in the Chader (that means Hebrew school) He sat beside this little girl And when he asked her her name she replied, "I'm Pearl." He ran to the Zayda (that means grandfather) And said in that screechy voice of his, "You told me I was the homeliest! Well, Cramps, you're wrong. Pearl is! "Meeskite, meeskite, No one ever saw a bigger meeskite, meeskite, Everywhere a flaw and maybe that is the reason why I'm going to love her until I die. "Meeskite, meeskite, Oh, is it a pleasure she's a meeskite, meeskite, She's the one I'll treasure, for I thought there could, never be A bigger meeskite than me." So, they were married, And in a year she turned and smiled: "I'm afraid I am going to have ... a child." Nine months she carried, Worrying how that child would look, And all the cousins were worried too. But what a turn fate took! Gorgeous, gorgeous, They produced a baby that was gorgeous, gorgeous, Crowding round the cradle all the relatives aahed and oohed, "He ought to pose for a baby food. "Gorgeous, gorgeous, Would 1 tell a lie? He's simply gorgeous, gorgeous, Who'd have ever thought that we would see such a flawless gem Out of two meeskites like them?" Sing with me, somebody? Fraulein Schneider? Herr Ludwig—we make a duet? Sally? (SALLY comes forward and sings with HERR SCHULTZ) SCHULTZ: He made a meeskite of me. Now, wait! The story has a moral! All my stories have morals! Moral, moral, Yes indeed, the story has a moral, moral, Though you're not a beauty it is nevertheless quite true, There may bå beautiful things in you. Meeskite, meeskite, Listen to the fable of the meeskite, meeskite, Anyone responsible for loveliness, large or small, Is not a meeskite At all!