12 - Ride it like an Equestrian

do you call him daddy do i call her daddy call her daddy call her daddy is brought to you by dove have you guys heard that dove just dropped a dove reimagined version of the classic don't cha to launch their new alcohol-free whole body deodorant a true 90s baby throwback moment the best part is that dove's new whole body deodorant is alcohol and aluminum free combining 72 hour odor control with nourishing skincare it's gentle anywhere you apply it which keeps you feeling hot not burned for external use only the new dove whole body deodorant alcohol and aluminum free learn more at dove.ca daddy gang another episode of call her daddy all right wow wow wow i'm sad as hell i'm still bloated and nauseous and want to die everyone at work right now going to work coming home from work and we're all miserable break is over i hope everyone's thanksgivings were bomb i'm ready for a christmas break like i i or a sugar daddy i just can't either or how was your break sophia that was the longest we've been apart for a while i missed you so much we got our face times in we did so those are cute alex and i will put face time on and fall asleep at the time and i'll say it's okay it's like asmr okay okay anyways um so yeah so my thanksgiving was pretty good because i got to just be with my immediate family i mean obviously over thanksgiving shit was fucking weird like my dad i think is trying to embrace the podcast so like i wish he would kind of just not talk about it but instead this thanksgiving break he and my brother would make little jokes right sexual jokes about my podcast and like use my lines and i'm like dad dad please fucking don't put me through this like this is not fun no but my brother said something about the kook gobbler and i'm like i just i can't that's not fucking funny here your relatives your blood talking about that shit as far as you're concerned that's not my job that's kind of amazing that's cool that they're supportive yeah meanwhile i'm in wormenville utah yeah tell me fucking bumfuck timbuktu utah love it and i you were just with your immediate family that's a blessing i was with like my extended family and there were definitely a few aunts and uncles that did not say hello to me but you did did anyone like call you out and be like what the hell no well my grandma she was like a little bit concerned about you know i brought her down to planet earth and assured her that you will not be doing corn like your mom yeah no i think a lot of people like we always say people are so fascinated by our family life they're like what do your parents think of the podcast and we keep telling people i don't think we've ever really explained it i'll just reiterate again i guess um my family is really supportive i think i know it's easier for me than sophia i've my dad is in the entertainment industry he's a television producer so like he gets it i've been doing this my whole life you on the other end this is all new to you yeah i left my corporate job right a few months ago so they're like so this kind of does look like you well have you completely lost it like i get a complete 180 with my life and i wouldn't take it back for anything absolutely not so over thanksgiving break like we talked about in our last episode it was wednesday it was the night everyone's going out to get fucked up and so i also went out over the weekend like with my brother and some of his friends and it was guys okay we have talked very very briefly about what guys should wear and what guys shouldn't wear when i tell you i went home so i literally texted sophia and said we are fucking talking about this on the podcast because like literally they're wearing packages to the bar and i'm like this is exactly why people need to call some of the stuff that i saw guys wearing when i went back home i was mortified and terrified i was like how the hell do you think it's okay to wear a fucking polo shirt with jeans that fit you disgusting there is okay flood jeans are horrible okay i don't yeah and when you said the polo thing i don't care how big your arm muscles are i don't want to see how tight a polo can suction cup your bicep i don't give a fuck i don't want you wearing a polo so if you guys follow us on instagram a couple weeks ago sophia and i basically offered on our story we said guys yeah comment on our post hashtag daddy gang and we will go to each of your pages and we will heart any picture that we think you should delete right and you guys alex and i laid in my bed for hours and we went to no exaggeration no exaggeration hundreds of your profiles and they just kept coming in and coming in and it was getting to the thousands and we were like holy there's just no way that we can like get to all these people so what we decided is we're gonna make a post and we're gonna put a few different outfits on this post of what is hot for men to wear yeah i think we should like five to ten basically like go-to outfits and i also want to clarify like guys we understand just like girls like guys all have different styles guys in the south we get it you are naturally preppy that's how you're raised we have the cali boys we have the northeast boys we get it however throughout all of those looks there should be a very specific trend that runs throughout and there are also no no's that run throughout so sophia and i will post about five to ten pictures of outfits that are call her daddy approved yes i think that'll be great i do though however like since we're talking about it there are a few staples that i think are so hot i did see some guys wear i think it's so sexy when a guy wears like a light wash jean jacket yes i get so hot or when they have like the sherpa on the collar jacket can i also clarify though that i hate when guys wear jean jackets if it looks so fucking cheap there are guys that have on jean jackets that look like it's from fucking land's end don't let me know that your mom yeah because you're from utah people in the east coast know what the fuck land's end is and you should not be caught dead if you're over the age of 10 wearing land's end also that goes the same for the leather jacket guys look so hot and like a big black scarf tucked in the leather jacket or leather jacket with a hood not if it looks like it's five dollars right girls don't look good in cute or cheap leather jackets neither do guys so fuck that moving forward i also think listen there's a big controversy over the chelsea boots because girls have now deemed them like basic like guys say shit's basic girls like flannels around your fucking waist chelsea boots have been deemed basic but i personally think that guys wearing chelsea boots to a bar you really can't go wrong yeah i think a chelsea boot is so hot totally fine i do get however that there are guys listening to this they're like uh you guys can fuck off fuck off i'm not wearing a chelsea boot and a leather jacket you know what i mean yeah and to those guys i say get like a well-fitting hoodie like a sick dope hoodie and wear it with like ripped jeans and vans because that look is also hot too i think vans on a guy are so fucking hot i think that some guys don't know what to wear i really do think any guy can pull off a good van like a black van with a white totally fine but the hoodie cannot be like your school hoodie like find a cool black gray hoodie that's kind of like a universal go-to hoodie wear that i also approve of hats i approve of guys wearing hats to the bar not on a first date let me clarify not on a first date but i do think hats to the club or hats to the bar it's totally fine or doggers if you're just chilling doggers if you guys are going out to like grab food and it's not like an official first date doggers are so hot on guys i agree with sneakers i agree you said earlier if you're going to be doing like a leather jacket or a jean jacket i mean this really applies to any jeans as well it's not that they necessarily have to be expensive but they have to just look like they're good quality and they are expensive yeah so some brands you mentioned yeah guys listen up i know this may not be in some people's price points but this is why you should be basically replicating your outfits off for example all saints so hot rag and bone off-white those are perfect examples there are so many outfits in all saints that literally you just replicate but just do it a little bit less expensive right we get if you can't afford that absolutely i can't afford absolutely also guys we have we totally understand what the hell guys do not have diversity when it comes to what they can wear to a bar pant wise you guys literally can only wear blue jeans or black jeans let me say though invest in a good fucking pair of jeans i should not be able to shove a baseball bat up your fucking pants they should not be that baggy okay they should be on your fucking leg what about when it's jeans with like a little flare goodnight gotta go gotta jet okay like cody code not mad at us knock it off the jeans if they're not even floods but they're just short enough that you can see the guy's ankle i die i'm like you're not gonna get one job you one job is to get a good pair of fucking jeans why can't you just it's not that hard spend an entire sunday going shopping for one pair yeah no girl is gonna know if you are wearing the same pair of jeans on friday night for saturday right okay yeah so i do like a rib in the jean for guys oh i think that's totally fine totally hot absolutely if you rock that you're good okay so moving on yeah we'll post that on our story and on our instagram let's move on okay because i have a very passionate topic i want to talk i bet guys it's time to talk about girls on top oh we've talked about eating out girls we've talked about the blow jobs and there's always more to come on those aspects but we really haven't talked to girls our home girls our daddy gang about what the fuck to do when you're on top of a dick so good morning hello our daddy girls are here to give it to you we're here so first and foremost sophia we have had a lot of girls write in saying that they are insecure sometimes if they've been having a bloated week or if they feel like they've been gaining weight they don't want to get on top because they're afraid of what their body looks like to die girls this is right to say don't flatter yourself don't flatter yourself thinking that this guy is looking at anything other than your tits and ass while you're writing and your butthole don't get conceited he's literally looking at your tits your ass your vagina your butthole your mouth at the end of the day you're just three holes and he's trying to figure out where he's gonna come okay it's true though i hate to say it but like girls you just you don't need to worry about it you know how many times i'm like i feel so bloated i feel so gross i don't want to get on top of this guy i was coming back from thanksgiving hungry hippo over here and i'm still gonna get fucking on top and write it like i'm a goddamn supermodel they don't care they're not looking at your blows they're not they really don't give a fuck they don't like we said guys can fuck a couch cushion so he will absolutely fuck you if you've got a hole so whoa girls now that we've all gotten past our insecurities get up there and ride this thing can i add one little absolutely if you get on his dick and you are confident about it that's the hottest thing guys i'm not trying to sound mochi it just is no dude when a guy like grabs you and puts you down and like looks like he knows how to fuck you guys are the same way if you literally are getting fucked by him and you are like i want to get on top and you shove him down you get out there he's like holy shit i'm ready to watch go girl go away he's like i don't care if i'm fucking fucking heifer no miranda he's like it doesn't matter if you're 80 pounds 200 it doesn't fucking matter enjoy yourself because at the end of the day girls we know when we're on top is a lot of times mostly when we enjoy it most yeah so let's get into the dirty details daddy game there are a couple positions that we want to talk to you about because we've also talked to you guys about if you listen to the cooch gobbler combo episode about how basically it allows you in this position to become easiest because we can simulate the clit we can control the g-spot everything's working for us out there so you ride his dick like you're scooting in a chair is that what you're saying yeah so sophia you're you always talk about the scooting in the chair so why don't you talk about that a little bit okay i think this is the best position if you're trying to have your clit stimulated yeah um i think it's also enjoyable for the guy as well absolutely um i mean it's pretty like self-explanatory you're humping you're grinding you're going back and forth you're not going up and down yeah um and it's kind of fun because you can also like bend over and like kiss his neck or go out with him or whisper stuff in his ear well that's that specific position i would also like to clarify guys i think it's girls sorry guys girls it's so hot if you are scooting in the chair kind of thing and you lean forward and you're like kissing his neck and you start talking dirty to him and then there are two things you can do with your hand you're either going to be fucking touching him in the face you're going to grab his fucking neck and choke him out no no why do you always get so violent okay either you are going to go down and you're going to touch a cliff while you're talking to him because he'll feel that and that feels great to him because he knows you're pleasuring yourself or two you are going to put your hand behind your back and you're going to go for his balls and you're going to basically lightly massage and fondle his balls while you're fucking him and while you're talking dirty to him in his ear girl this gets guys all the time i've literally this tmi but i've literally done this in one position and not done anything else and made a guy come because i was being nasty in his ear saying things and my hands were on him i'm still like it's great maybe you could even like put it around his butthole you could absolutely you could go down you could go down so that guy's a great position however i am convinced i've seen it like you see it in their eyes they're like no she fucking didn't girls if you want to take things up and off and listen i know some girls may be like yes we know this alex but there are some girls that don't so i'm just you know informing the daddy spread the love when you're on him guys going up and down when your knees are on the bed and you're on top of him it's just like child's play like we're not fucking around with that you don't go up and down on your knees you're getting your squats in like i've said in the past and i'll say it again you're getting your squats in today ladies and that means your feet your toes and your heel are on the mattress on the bed okay so you are literally in a full-blown crouch squat position with his wheelie in front of you okay okay so you start on your knees like he's inside you're on your knees and then and then you literally put your hand on his chest look at him and you put your right leg literally waddle your way up and you are squatting oh wow on his dick damn when you do this i swear to god men will fall in love and girls although it's kind of a workout which is great get our workout then it's a lot of work no we're not going to the gym so fuck no but guys this position it's definitely one for the boys and girls because we're both feeling everything at that point you're going up and you're going down you're going all the way fucking down what about ride at a fair where you get thrown up and then go fucking down the rocket i did the rocket this is the rocket this is the reverse rocket no no not the reverse rocket yeah we're gonna get there this is the rocket you're facing him so while you're doing this guys it's so important that you switch up your speed you're not fucking bouncing up and down like a psycho start slow always have like maybe your hand on his chest in the beginning okay so we're gonna have like your left hand on his chest other hand maybe touching your tits whatever it be touch your hair i don't give a shit as you start to progress with your how the speed of it you're going faster it's really fucking hot if you go no hands and you just kind of let your hands fly back and you're just kind of look ma no hands look pa no hands look pa no hands so basically that's what you're gonna do and he's gonna be like i am ready to come all up in there and you're not done yet ladies you're really not done so that yeah so we're gonna call that the rocket which you should all be doing if you're not absolutely getting get on the rocket so you're doing that also you can be doing the same thing always touching your clit touching yourself touch your boobs whatever call her daddy is brought to you by dove have you guys heard that dove just dropped a dove reimagined version of the classic don't you to launch their new alcohol-free whole body deodorant a true 90s baby throwback moment the best part is that dove's new whole body deodorant is alcohol and aluminum free combining 72 hour odor control with nourishing skincare it's gentle anywhere you apply it which keeps you feeling hot not burned for external use only the new dove whole body deodorant alcohol and aluminum free learn more at dove.ca next position where we want to talk about we're gonna call the reverse cowgirl cyclone oh shit oh okay all right girls we all know what the reverse cowgirl is we've all been there we've all done it and if you haven't don't worry we're here so reverse cowgirl is pretty self-explanatory you're on him and you're reversed you're doing what we just explained yes but and you can always do you can be on your knees for that and you can also get in the squat position which is really fucking hot my suggestion for the reverse cowgirl cyclone is girls this position is enjoyable for us but i want you guys to think of sometimes it's like when i tell girls like how to say oh wow this sounds pretty fucking porno-ish when i tell girls how to suck dick i want you to just like imagine you have a penis right like you know what i mean like does that sound weird but no i always imagine my penis honestly i do i'm like i obviously think that would feel good for me but it's like how would this feel if you're doing it like the sloppiness the wetness you can kind of envision what it would feel like so when i tell you guys when you're in reverse cowgirl at one point i think a lot of the daddy gang members are gonna get wiped up and married if you pull this shit no you are on your knees you don't have to do this in the um the waddling duck upward squat position you're on your knees you're riding him you're scooting in your chair he's looking at the beautiful view of your ass you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you're on your knees you now again about the whole self-conscious thing before i tell you guys what this is girls there's so many girls that are oh my god he's gonna see my asshole he's literally gonna be like oh my god this is such a weird view no this is what guys dream up this is literally the position everybody guys don't look at anything on a girl's body and say it grows but he's inside of you specifically okay so let's clarify that so basically this is how i'm gonna try to explain it i i can't get on the top of the table and explain it so i'm really gonna try to get the scripted okay he's looking at you you're fucking him or his cowgirl you're gonna lean forward as if you're like like stretching out like in a crawling position almost like you're bending forward your arms are going like army crawling yes okay so he's still in you but you're kind of like your chest is bending forward towards the bed away from him okay at this point his dick is inside of you great i figured love that you are gonna have it basically come out halfway oh and what you're gonna do is that this way your legs can be like your knees are on the bed they're a little spread apart and you are going to basically shift side to side while his dick is halfway in you okay half of his shaft is out half of his shaft is out the rest is and you are kind of like almost like grinding back and forth like like a shinny like yeah like back and forth and so his view is he can see it in there but you can also see some of his too and it's a great view and then what you start doing is you start kind of doing circles and you go back you lean back on it and you go out of it forward i'm wow i like being like a figure eight almost yeah yeah just do that i'm here right now in my chair okay what i wanted to see honestly alex i thought i was like a total savage i really have never heard that move ever and i'm like ready to try it out that sounds so hot i listen i know this is really vulgar but i'm just trying to spread the fucking love to the guy i know it's really out there but like this shit is so fucking hot i remember when my exes was like where the fuck did you learn that right and i don't know at the end of the day we're all trying to fucking excel here exactly and that's what it comes down to girls get into it and try it and like listen i will be honest it is difficult if his penis is a little bit smaller to do so because like you're trying to get off of it a little bit and start motion but you just gotta literally get creative with it and especially if you're pretty close with the guy that you're fucking yeah just like babe i want to try something yeah and then maybe you just don't you don't have to be as pulled out exactly you know what i mean just leave more of him in so think just you gotta think i am the dick what does the dick want what does the dick want so girl you have the rocket now get your squats in today ladies that's what you're gonna text all your friends did you get your squats in tonight okay that's the rocket and then the reverse cowgirl cyclone you are gonna be swaying back and forth halfway out and you're just gonna go and also if you want to really add it in you can he can see you with your hand and you can be like touching your guys you should be touching your client in every position also if you really also unless your hand cuts okay okay but also um and eye contact i think in that position can be hot if you just like one look back you don't need to do the whole time but one eye contact oh that's always anytime you can look back at the guy i've heard that that's so amazing so i hope you all had a great time at sex ed with alex cooper we are thankful for alex cooper that's what i was thinking about during thanksgiving i was like god damn where would i be without this girl not doing the gluck gluck i told sophia that i had like a little segment i wanted to talk about on podcast today and i tried to like low-key explain to her in our apartment what i was gonna talk about and i am like you're coming to my bed like let me show you and it didn't go well she's like to say for the podcast so you guys can only imagine me trying to show sophia that in our hotel in our apartment moving on beautiful dicks love it dick pics okay sophia we had people write in and they're like how in the hell you guys have talked about how guys can ask burped nudes and tip pics d pics how the hell do we ask guys for dick pics you say can i get a picture of your dick no hi can i get a picture of your dick what else would you say no okay think of some girls i know we have like some people are of the younger audience i get it there are some girls that are gonna be like a little i don't know it's like a little forward just be like hi can i get a picture of your dick yeah the only reason i say that is like just asking for a picture of his dick is because like it's a guy like they're always right show off their dick i personally think girls if you don't want to be that forward i would just say hey like can i get a picture of you can i get a pic i think it would be so hot right you know what i mean i mean i think guys would obviously know what you're talking about oh my god just tell the guy that for anything that would be so hot it'd be so hot if you bought me a pair of chanel so basically say can i get a pic i think it'd be so hot and if he says of what literally just say of your dick yeah but if you guys want to like get a little bit more slutty with it you can always obviously pull the whole i want to touch myself later and think about you send me a picture of your dick that's always a good one classic so girls i know we've had a lot of people also be like ew to dick pics and like i only think first of all i have a lot of dick pics in my dms which i don't fucking appreciate so if you're that guy i don't really get it it must be for attention or they get off on that shit but guys that send dick pics just unsolicited in the dms fucking stop unsolicited dick pics in general yeah i think are a no-no unless like you're dating any like sense go for it but if it's just like a guy guys if you're talking to a girl don't fucking whip out your dick and i don't care how hot your dick is no have the girl ask for it but also girls i don't think you should be like ew dick pics are gross if like you have friends that want dick pics in her ass like okay if he's gonna be fucking you later obviously you want to see what you're working with or if you're missing it whatever the fuck it is yeah like if you're dating it's hot if he's like babe i'm thinking about you right now absolutely and so is he and there he is okay i want to get into one of my favorite topics ever i love when you get excited about topics it's not just me talking about how to whip and cruise your vagina on a dick this topic is going through your partner's phone oh so many people have been writing in and asking if that's okay to do i am going to say something that might come as a surprise considering that we are the podcast caller daddy yeah i think that it is not okay to go through your partner's phone unless you are almost 100% certain that they are up to no good cheating what have you so i agree with that we and i think you can agree we don't condone going through their phone unless you're almost positive that something's up right yeah because well then i think i mean i think you and i have both done this you told me about your ex dude you were in and around his phone oh my god i used to like get on there and treat like it was my phone his friends would text him and i'd be like no brad we won't be coming to dinner i didn't give a i didn't give a shit but like yeah that's what i'm saying like if your relationship is going great and you guys are in such a good place don't go for the phone and just try to sabotage it because that's what i would do yeah it would be totally great and i would still go for the phone because don't you also think like human nature the minute you do look i think personally it gets so addicting and it's like one minute you're looking at the text and then the next minute you're in the snapchat and the next minute you're in their photos and it's like it just keeps going every time you go to the fucking bathroom you're checking the goddamn phone and it's unhealthy and you just can't help but keep doing it exactly and then at that point you start to see things that are gonna hurt your feelings but things are perfectly okay for him to be doing yes he should be allowed to like vent to his friends about like what a bitch you're being that day for sure i mean you're gonna get on there and maybe see a text from his mom saying you know she's upset at you about something like you're going to see things that are gonna hurt your feelings and everyone has a right to have their privacy well also i know just from experience like things can absolutely get taken out of context you can see a fucking winky face or a smirky face and you're like hey bitch you're cheating we're done and it's his fucking cousin that lives in wisconsin and you didn't even know and he's like it's just you guys listen i understand it's tempting it's 2018 we're all it's so easy to cheat nowadays it's so easy and it's terrible but at the same time if there's no trust in the relationship then what you're wasting your body in time if you feel like you have to check his phone 24-7 if this person and we're saying guys this is go for guys and girls if you are almost positive that this person is being shady and it's not just you being paranoid oh i say go for the fucking phone i was gonna stop you because you knew i was about to cut it ladies gentlemen the fucking phone is child's play don't even ask them for their phone you walk into the room you put down their computer or their ipad and you say babe in order for us to move forward i need you to open this right now yep it's called the motherfucking iCloud bitches you think if he's being fucking shady if she's being fucking shady she's gonna leave it on her phone absolutely not they're deleting every single thing they're changing the names from adam to andrea boom andrea to adam it's the goddamn truth yeah so i have personally had experience with that i talked about it in an earlier episode where i knew this guy was being shady i he had literally would be so open with his phone but i was like what the fuck is wrong and then it occurred to me my guy i was like cooper the fucking ipad baby and i was like gold and this is the thing girls and guys you have to decide though before you bring this to them what you want to do because there are some girls that are gonna bring the ipad to them and they're gonna open it for you and you're gonna find everything and then you gotta have a game plan are you gonna leave them what are you gonna do so when i tell you i sat down i handed him the ipad and i said to him i need you to open this right now and obviously let me also say that he and i knew we were having issues like this is out of fucking nowhere well and i think that's just the best way to do it because you're not invading his privacy yeah and you're not like doing it behind his back you're saying i mean if you really think there's an issue be honest with your partner and say i'm really really struggling right now i need to see and also and i hate to say it but guys half the time he doesn't even need to open it you'll be able to tell the minute i remember the minute i pulled that thing out the guy turned casper the fucking ghost he was so pale he was shaking and he was like what and i'm like your thumb puts his thumb on opens the ipad and as i'm scrolling and seeing everything he was like mortified but then he tried to play it off he's like what what and i'm like what do you mean what the fuck i don't know what it was yeah it was amazing but guys so yeah i personally say bring out the ipad bring out the computer because no one's fucking cleaning up that shit because again in their mind i'll delete everything here and then all the news and all the text will be on my computer and they don't think we're fucking sad enough but they don't understand daddy game we are all savages and we fucking know the game so guys pull the ipad and pull up the computer and use it sparingly absolutely and also understand that people are gonna fucking change names yeah but actually guys i was gonna say this applies to guys and girls no because girls are never wrong remember our last episode like fuck that wait a second never go through a girl's phone ever girls you can go through a man's phone but don't go through a girl's phone she didn't do anything wrong okay no you did what did you do look inward look inward um sophia you had a story i do because i love sophia stories i have a story because you know being shady is a common topic and i remember the story and i was about to tell alex i was like i want to save it for the podcast i'm here so i started dating this guy and he told me a story about what he had done in the past to his ex-girlfriend okay he was cheating on his girlfriend he was in his room balls deep into the side piece love that his girlfriend shows up oh sounds like it's gonna be a classic story a classic story no no no he hears his girlfriend so what does he do he throws the side bitch into his closet okay respect the mistress concubine goes where she deserves to go and he tells her to shut the fuck up if she knows what's good for her he probably duct taped her mouth i don't know she's in the closet and he knows got down while his girlfriend's downstairs he has 30 seconds to text his roommate and be like i don't know what the fuck to do can you stall my girlfriend who's at the front door okay his roommate i wish i could give him a shout out is one of the shadiest characters i've ever met and came up with the most brilliant idea i've ever heard oh my god he said let me grab the side bitch and pretend that she is here for me stop yes so my boyfriend goes downstairs and grabs his girlfriend says babe i'm so glad you're here wow thanks for surprising me like i wasn't expecting you and he takes his girlfriend into like another room so that his roommate can go upstairs and grab the side bitch out of the closet jesus christ so the roommate goes upstairs grabs the side bitch and takes her downstairs and introduces the girl to everybody including the girlfriend who pretty much has no idea has no idea and doesn't know that her boyfriend's dick is still wet from this side bitch that they were just introduced i mean how fucked up so this poor girlfriend is probably being the nice hospitable girlfriend she is and she's probably like hi it's so nice to meet you oh my god you're blah blah blah roommate right you're looking up with him like i love that i love that for you guys you guys are so cute hi nice to meet you double date meanwhile your ex is like literally wiping his dick off like oh i'm still wet from her fucking cum right what a guy how disgusting is that how gross is that and i mean this guy had the nerve and the audacity to expect me to trust him when we started dating after he told me that story that brings me to a really good point do not divulge the shady shit you've done in your past to someone you're planning on dating because it will fuck with their head i never trusted this guy after he told me that story ever but you went on and dated him i didn't date him for like two or three years so but i didn't trust him during it absolutely no because that i mean dude okay there's two sides to it one not to call her daddy side is that takes some type of fucked up person to literally be inside a girl girlfriend shows up walks down literally introduces the two of them to each other and has no fucking issue and plays it off like it was like nothing the call her daddy side of me is like what a fucking genius holy shit how the fuck did they come up with that because i mean i've had my shady fucking moments and i've tried to like dip and move in this shit but i never once would think just act like it's the other fucking person alex why do you think i dated him for two or three years because he's a fucking genius he might be cheating on me but hello holy shit i need those jeans for my kids smart oh my god i mean that's an unbelievable story i would love to hear other people's like possible no oh my god is that where are we encouraging bad behavior i just think i would just love to hear other people's stories because i've done shady shit but that is a different level of genius it is i mean alex if you're ever in that situation bring the guy over to me and i will play off like he is my boyfriend i love that i also think it was a good point you just said was a lot of people have this problem of boundaries if you are going if you're an overshare if you like to talk about yourself a lot don't fucking share with someone all the deep dark holes of your past all the time they don't need to know that especially if you're trying to pursue the person dating sometimes i think people feel like it's so good to be open and honest you have to be aware that there are some situations that need to be kept to yourself and you do not need to share that with that person because you said you can never really trust them that story is always in the back of your head we're on the podcast telling you right now i'm like you everyone you're introducing me to i'm like was he just inside of her i don't know we'll never know let's talk about questions yes so first one from the daddy game members i saved a nude from this guy hooked up with and it was from 2.5 years ago is it near is it seriously a long time to keep a nude like is your dick so unphotogenic that you can only get a nice picture every two years holy shit two and a half years if you guys never heard our fourth episode just to give you guys a little background on why this person's writing if you haven't listened to all of our episodes in our fourth episode we literally go into detail and explain to people everyone has their fire nude if you're going to reuse nudes you need to make sure you screenshot it and send the screenshot a nude or else when they save your picture if you sent the original that was taken back in march it's showing that it was taken in march not in november brilliant so you guys girls everyone's getting fucked because now guys are all saving your nudes and scrolling all the way up and like this was taken six months ago save yourself screenshot your nude send a screenshot and you'll be goofy but i didn't even know like guys it's so easy for them to take dick pics why are they reusing two and a half years like i get it and i will be able to forgive you if it's like a few weeks maybe a few months yeah two and a half years that kind of scares me yeah like what's going on down there now okay so next one is i have been fucking with this guy with a girlfriend for a while now but obviously i'm not exclusive with him because he has a girlfriend no shit so i went for my annual checkup thinking it was no big deal but then i got a call a few days later saying i had chlamydia obviously i had to tell the guy because i figured there was no fucking way that he didn't have it also i'm also over here being a crazy happy bitch thinking he's gonna have to tell his girlfriend that he has chlamydia and he'll break up with her plot twist this dude gets tested and tested negative apparently this guy is immune to the clap or something and i'm pissed was damn near thanking chlamydia for getting him to break up with his girlfriend on the plus side i clearly have the voodoo clam because he still fucks with me even though i had a chlamydia scare okay okay i have a couple issues with this me too i have a few and listen i don't want to shit i don't want to shit on you guys because we appreciate you writing in but there is a couple things wrong with this fucking story okay i think the number one glaring issue is what does this girl have against the girlfriend why yeah why are you being a bitch and being like i wish she got chlamydia yeah it's all about you being pissed that the guy won't break up with her but at the end of the day it's like so you literally well this is the second point you literally wanted this girl to get chlamydia so they would break up and what he would just end up with you like you're the default like oh fuck she broke up now i'll leave her for you it's crazy how much these side bitches no offense to all you bitch but like these side girls they feel so entitled and they're like talking shit on the girlfriend i'm like at the end of the day she's a girlfriend you're on the side right she's the one he takes to events okay you're on the side you're on the main dish she's a turkey and you're the coleslaw on the side right so you have you have no reason to ever be like fucking mad or mean to the main bitch i don't get that also again i don't mean to be rude but like he's still with her so clearly she's got something you don't so don't be a bitch to her she doesn't even know you exist and also don't be a bitch and try and go tell her through what an std yeah i mean you should really never wish an std upon anyone yeah especially a girl that's literally has never done anything to you right so i don't know listen girlfriend i'm glad that you got over your chlamydia scare i'm not gonna comment anymore what you should or should not be doing with a guy that's in a relationship but i think what we would help you out here is just kind of be weary of don't fucking be a bitch to someone that doesn't even know about you and has never done anything to you take it out on the guy number three choking so i need to address choking please this is from a guy i've had some girls who demand choking in the bedroom and then some who are turned off by it and others who turn and try to choke me why do girls like being choked do girls think that just because we they think we like choking them that they'll like it because that's just false side note also address the craziness who would want to actually be choked hardcore and slapped always weird to encounter okay this is so interesting to me because do you guys even like that for real like i want guys to like let us know to get choked yeah i think what if they like choking this is my thing i think a lot of times on this podcast guys we are talking about situations that sophia and i both fuck with or we don't fuck with everyone has their own fucking deal some people fuck kinky some people don't and everyone has their own shit with regard to choking i have been with some guys who are into it and i've been with some guys who aren't into it i think it is very situational i think there are some girls that's like oh guys like to be choked so now i'm gonna do this and it's fucking awkward because they're forcing it and you know what i think people can really sense that and you can tell when you're forcing it and you're faking it like yeah just be genuine if you're gonna like try some kinky shit yeah i agree and i think also girls are the same way it's like there's some girls who like to get choked i have been but then there are also times where it's like taking a little fucking too far right so and i also think how comfortable you are with a person sometimes they can be fucking hot in one night stand but if they go too far it's fucking scary because you're like so i'm about to die you know it's all about balance and it's also all about who your partner is at the time and what you guys know about each other next one so okay i told my husband to fuck me like i'm a little whore and he told me to stop trying to act cool i literally went to bed help oh my god wait i actually love i love that i'm so sorry because again just like what we said not everyone is gonna be down for stuff and i can just imagine her husband looking at her and being like shut the fuck up just stop it okay we have we have three kids and having the same sex for seven years and out of nowhere you're about to ask me to call you a whore and i can't see her just rolling over in bed like oh fuck me i love how when we tell people things we're just like it works every time you have to say just say your little slut but i do think it's one thing to go right after it if you're with your husband and you're out of nowhere like oh call me your whore i think maybe have a drunk night maybe say something a little less aggressive and then slowly ramp it up i think sometimes people whip it out of nowhere and the guy's like you it looks like she's trying to be a porn star you know you've got to really ease into it if you want to happen that's why we have suggested past episodes get fucked up do something crazy when you're drunk so then it can become normalized when you're sober yeah next one so i've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and he loves to fuck with the lights on that's nice that's a compliment um but i think there is something that makes me more comfortable to get down and dirty and try new things which will hopefully make me more comfortable with the lights off i totally understand what you think oh me too i think that they should mix it up on and off i mean i personally like especially like obviously there are times it's hot like morning sex or something if it's like the lights are on but i think you can definitely get freakier and girls naturally are more insecure with their body and what they're trying to do sometimes so just turn that light off your girlfriend also i noticed like when it's really dark almost pitch black like all of your other senses are heightened and you have to like kind of feel around more and like almost be more like central with your body yeah you gotta be more in tune with how it feels and not focusing on other shit like absolutely so i would tell your boyfriend to shut the fuck up bitch boy and we're gonna fuck a couple times with the lights off and then we can do your way maybe once a week okay so that is it for questions this week guys thank you guys so much for listening i hope you guys are getting back into the swing of things with work post-thanksgiving vibes i thought you'd say back into the swing of things like swingers oh well that's so thanks so much guys for listening every single wednesday we will see you next week we love you guys