12 Steps Series: Intro & Step One

In this episode, we cover Step One of the Twelve Steps Codependents’ Guide To The Twelve Steps, Melody Beattie STEP 1 - We admitted we were powerless over others — that our lives had become unmanageable. Quote #1 “Many of us grew up believing it wasn’t okay to have feelings. That was part of the control we were taught to have - repression of our emotions. Now we are learning that whatever we try to control gains control over us.” (p20 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #2 “What I did was focus on others: caretaking, controlling, and obsessing about them. What I didn’t do was take care of myself in a loving manner.”(p21 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #3 “When we love others too much, when we do so desperately want and need what they have — whether that is acceptance, approval, love, or friendship — we may forfeit our ability to take care of ourselves with them, out of fear that we may not get what we need. We may hope that if we hold things in place by willpower, we will finally be safe and get what we need. We won’t.” (p22 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #4 “Step One does not imply irresponsibility or helplessness. We are not saying, “I can’t help myself because of what others are doing or have done to me.” We are saying the opposite: that we are responsible for ourselves and our affairs. Others are responsible for themselves and their affairs — whether or not we like how they are handling them.” (p24 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #5 “We begin feeling instead of running from our emotions. We identify how we have neglected ourselves, so we may better love ourselves in any circumstance.”(p25 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #6 “Love and accept ourselves, as is, no matter what our present circumstances. The answer will come. The solution will come. But not from trying so hard.”(p26 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie)