12 Steps Series: Step Five

In this episode, we cover Step Five of the Twelve Steps Codependents’ Guide To The Twelve Steps, Melody Beattie STEP 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs Quote #1 - “To begin that process, it is imperative that we unearth, release, get rid of, and be done with shame, fear, guilt, secrets, and anything else inside us that bothers us, causes us to feel less than, weighted down by burdened by, and bad about ourselves. The way to do that is by opening our mouths and getting it out. It is a simple but effective way to begin healing ourselves. We simply tell the truth about ourselves to ourselves, to another person, and to God in an attitude of self-responsibility, acceptance, and forgiveness. There is something magical, but frightening, about opening our mouths and telling the truth. There is also something healing about it. An important part of this healing process we're going through is reconnecting to ourselves, our Higher Power, and other people. Being honest about ourselves is how we do that.” (p85 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #2 - “We also need to make certain that the person with whom we share our deepest secrets will hold our confessions in confidence.” (p88 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #3 - “If it’s bothering us, we need to talk about it. And the more it bothers us, the more shame and self-hatred it causes, the more it controls us and our lives, the more important it is to bring it out.”(p88 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #4 - “One guiding rule for all my Fifth Steps has been this: Whatever it is I most don’t want to discuss is what I most need to talk honestly about. To be healed, whatever I am most afraid and ashamed to share is probably what I most need to share at the time.”(p88 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #5 - “It is much easier to be the one people reach out to that the one reaching out.” (p89 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #6 - “I've also learned something else. Until I'm entirely ready to accept who I am, what I feel, what I want, and what myself is telling me, I cannot achieve intimacy. When I am ready to take that same risk with people that I took when I walked into that Fifth Step room, I will have the kind of relationships I'm seeking. I'm not talking about confessing my sins to people. I'm talking about sharing my deepest secret -who I am.”(p90 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie) Quote #7 - “The solution to this problem is the same. Whatever I most don’t want to talk about, whatever it is I most don’t want to admit, is what I immediately need to tell someone, someone safe, someone I trust. I need to get it out of me and into the light, so I can be set free.”(p92 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie)