12. The Need for External Validation

In this episode, hosts Sarah Dosanjh, psychotherapist and author, and Stefanie Michele, certified coach and somatic practitioner, dive into the complex psychology of external validation—why we crave approval, how it shapes our sense of worth, and what it means to find confidence that isn't dependent on others. They explore how early attachment experiences and mirroring affect our lifelong need for recognition, why creative or purpose-driven work can heighten validation sensitivity, and how to tell the difference between healthy acknowledgment vs dependency. Stefanie reflects on her own relationship with feedback as both a mirror and a trap, while Sarah discusses how surrender, faith, and trust in a larger process help ground her self-worth beyond productivity or external praise. The conversation also looks at how social media and online culture amplify our validation loops, creating a false sense of connection while eroding genuine self-trust. Together, they unpack the nervous system's role in these patterns—how seeking approval often mirrors our search for safety—and offer insights for cultivating inner steadiness through awareness, connection, and compassion. Listeners will come away with a deeper understanding of: Why we're wired to seek validation and how it ties to belonging The role of early attachment in adult self-worth How to discern acknowledgment from dependency Why social media intensifies validation needs Somatic and psychological tools for grounding self-esteem Love the episode? Leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more than you'd think (and yes, we actually read them). Not sure what to write? You can literally just copy and paste this: BEST PODCAST EVER — A UNIQUE REVIEW We won't argue with you. More About Stefanie Michele: Instagram Substack Website More About Sarah Dosanjh: YouTube Instagram Website Book: I Can't Stop Eating