#1215 - Help! My 8 Year Old is Totally Self Centred

Is your child struggling with empathy, social skills, or thinking beyond their own wants? In this episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson tackle a question from a concerned parent about an 8-year-old who seems self-centred, struggles with friendships, and resists considering others' feelings. They break down key strategies to foster empathy, encourage connection, and navigate discipline without frustration. KEY POINTS: Why some children seem more self-focused than others. The role of personality, temperament, and developmental differences. The importance of listening over excessive explaining. Why "I don’t care" is often a defence mechanism. How to move from reactive discipline to problem-solving. The power of calm conversations outside of emotional moments. PERSONAL STORIES SHARED: Justin and Kylie reflect on their own parenting experiences, discussing how their children perceive and react to situations differently despite growing up in the same household. Insights from psychology on why siblings raised in the same family can have vastly different emotional and social responses. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "High emotions equal low intelligence. When kids (and parents) are emotionally heightened, it's not the time for lessons—it's time for connection." RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Three E’s of Effective Discipline (Explore, Explain, and Empower) The Happy Families website for parenting resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Observe and Listen—Instead of immediately correcting, try to understand why your child is acting this way. Create Calm Connection Moments—Have relaxed conversations over a treat to discuss social skills and feelings. Encourage Small Acts of Kindness—Model and praise thoughtful behaviour rather than just pointing out what's wrong. Use Open-Ended Questions—Instead of "Would you like it if someone did that to you?" Try "What do you think happened in that situation?" Be patient—growth in empathy and social awareness takes time. Stay consistent and supportive. It's easy to send us a question! Email [email protected] or use the super simple voice memo system at the Happy Families website. Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.