Welcome to No Bloggs just a clap the podcast that wonders when you're constipated Do you also hear Gandalf from Lord of the Rings saying you shall not pass? No, no, that would just make me I was reading a thread earlier that was Plans they went horribly wrong as movie titles and one of them was I'll just pass this guy Yeah, yeah, no, so it's been a long week for all of us. Yep, so it's gonna be a little rambly and rambly But I think we're okay with that I should have taken that much as a I caught up on the off them. Yeah, they finally killed Jerome.
Yeah I heard the good assets. That's in Sarah. That's in the Captain yeah So they have Michael chickless is the new captain. Yes, he's pretty awesome And let's call type guys and type guys This point they have him as the new captain and he came in and gave an almost identical speech that Gordon gave like to the same precinct They're like, you know, these guys came in and shot your captain and nine of your fucking compatriots Aren't you fucking embarrassed they did this in our house get your shit together?
They've started recruiting cadets straight out of the academy for what they call strike force looks like a squat team Mm-hmm. They give them both their new uniforms. I think it's funny He's like these are gonna uniforms and it's like mp5 and bullet free bomber Like I said, they called that was gonna say it's I believe the alpha team of strike forces what they specifically called these It's like oh my god military words exactly well the new captain is a former Well, I got that they got that donation from you know TSA's leftovers I can't tell if you're actually serious. Oh, sorry.
I'm not being serious. I'm making a joke about the whole like all the cops However, I'm sure we militarized because of all the I Think you will be very interested in they've introduced silver saying Claire no, yes. Yes. They did in the last episode Wait, she's gonna get kid.
She is okay. She's about the same as Bruce. It was a cute kid. They're in school together She's a cute guy's a cute.
She's a kid like I said, I don't know how well she is in real life But in the show she's supposed to be around 14. She'll be a little bit older than a year old I think she's around 14 or 15. Yeah, she's a different than boys I never really got into silver saying cloud exactly a bunch of Batman stuff from I My arrow I She already has the crazy eyes Yeah, I mean she and Oliver got in this fight where she like lunged at him and lands on him he Yeah, yeah, I knew he's doing but I was like when she went off barrel and like jumped on it's damn it I Really need to get her shit together a nerd hole and we'll make that happen. Yeah, I know I know oh man Yeah, that was interesting You know, I actually I had an idea and maybe I'll apparently I'll pitch it on the podcast where we actually did a real time Like almost like up to the date South Park asked episode to episode porn series You know where you would straight up Perry episodes of TV shows like within a week or two weeks of them airing for the first time Okay, I just I think there's a market for that.
I think you could actually make a lot of money to talk Well, we just do talk over like okay, we're starting it now. Oh my god. We did a smash cut of porn You realize all that would be would be like me going and if I was there I'd be like yeah, awesome Brochio pizza fucking right fuck me right toaster's broken. How do you do that?
Oh, you might be my Well, so speak for me, right? More of a duck joke than you joke fine continue talking about arrow You've got what can I read so they're setting up legends tomorrow? Speed legends tomorrow. I'll kind of cut bounce back and forth when this and flash Well Stein collapse so wondering if it's because you got separated from Robbie it is because they're gonna choose to rush We talked about last week, but I'm glad to see like it's starting a lot sooner than I thought it Well, I'm irritated that Cisco has felt the need to hide the fact that he's getting visions because it's like what's the fucking point to hiding it He explained it he's seen the things he does want to say he feels in some way that Wells gave him this power Which technically I guess he did because if he's a medic human now, then well is created a medic human Well, but he also is one of those things where he saw that the separate timeline Yeah, but he feels that he feels that he feels these powers might turn to me because of where they came from I get that all episode I trust issues.
Yeah, and that's only No, I did like the way they recreated that cover When they're running both words vivid I was like I pause was like fucking awesome They're just like that promo shop before like they did it in the show. Do you like that Caitlyn is all about Jay? I think if they would have watched forwarded six months it would have been weird She's she's interested. Let's keep in mind that the Caitlyn in earth one isn't necessarily who becomes killer frost Multiverse multiverse being the way it is they could obviously have Caitlyn from any number of multiverses We've been every single diverse I hear it is Lulu from a Yeah, I hear that So it can easily be Caitlyn from another Earth the one thing I quote never and I also like the way that they made a little reference back to DC Comics With how many are there 52?
Do you like the joke about his hat though something I had lost it. Yeah, could it just told us about the hat? Yeah, I liked it. They talked about how I'm they even gave a little issue the hat to Yeah, it was like bother me because and it's just like what?
Not only things I think it felt a little shoehorned that Cisco said that he gets up by Which is the name of his character on the comics? Saying it is but it's powers are like Vibration power not dimensional, but I mean like actual size shocks, right? But I mean Characters that have shifted dimensions by shifting I think he has to be kind of safe at powers. It'll be like I'm vibrating a different rate than this dimension or something He's gonna cast the useless trimmers Useless trimmers The clear in the dnd game as well.
I remember Article I need the basement move not really though So it's a one-two 70s show right yeah, there's at some point where kitty hires Leo's cousin to remodel the basement They get a really oh I Sheach now it's y'all it's not me chomp is Lee I like I said I hire his cousin to remodel the downstairs basement, but they can really high so only does this move everything three inches to the left Nice. Yeah, it's work. No, so something I did like about blash I really is there even when they're not doing crossovers and I don't think they're trying to create a crossover They're just aware of you nodding to each other So like there's references an arrow to to star city and having a flash day in arrow And they show the arrow speech of the in flash I thought that I like that continuity that they're doing and then I like that he goes I really don't know what colors their names. Yeah, that may be left really hard because once again like they talk about how They're nicknamed that Scott's speedster in the Crimson column.
No one called him back. There's also the black flash Rita possibility You know the black flash There's a black flash It's the opposite end of the the speed force Which was really like if I told you black stormy there's a white stormy I'm smart as him. That's a big doctor. Hey, um, wow What the hell just happened?
That was that was the reason is is African roots. No, it was C lab When I was talking about being unexpected when stormy's like I'm smart as him he's talking about Quinn I've got four different, you know disciplines in whatever and goes What do you think they call me dr. Kwingos? I thought there was a nickname like dr.
Dre He's side totally don't remember that. I was like for a season. Um, I just I watched sea lab over and over and over and over Sitting in the car earlier this week listening to music They totally cut to a whole thing out of aqua's gonna say out of sea lab And he starts quoting it at me in the parking lot of my work. I'm just like thanks Doug I see that um he also likes his urban beats Just don't buy beats headphones.
I think it sucks over no, but I did unlock the the hip hop beef in That's for us. Obviously The new the new the last expansion was 80s neon mixtape Beat that like So they showed zoom and you hit the nail on the head because I was like oh I'm expecting something to look like Jake Gary's Optum which was rival or something closer like a reverse flash and I was like holy fuck that's the black flash Like the like to cane was he bad in no, he's just a force of nature, right? I'm not even being like evil person. It's he's the he's the aspect of death that can actually like race a flash since Obviously, they've been proven that flashes can literally run death that death.
This is a death aspect of the other kills meters Or collect another question for that flash because I know that's why you're a memory of jay Garrett's flash was that he didn't use the speed force No, he was it's metagen was He was by the hard water experiment. He Came from his power. Yeah. He's got a metagen, which is why one of the speed force disappears He's only like a speed water.
He's heavy water not hard water Because I'm like what it's gonna dry the skin. Yeah, it doesn't get all the soap residue off and so I guess I said heavy water not hard water. Um, he was not really fast. Yeah, I did I Never did the repeats when they did the tests on jay, and she's like well There's no no Before no, it's before like whether wouldn't be no, but if it's a metagen that he should be able to access it So I'm thinking um, well, no, I think it's something like the way when they did the Justice League Avengers crossover This is why I'm alone Yeah, that's why yeah that when the flash went to the Marvel universe he was disconnected from the speed force But when quick silver went to DC he could still run right because it's a metagen so I think he needs like it's like a shock to the system Thing it's and I think they didn't they do that last season on flash while you lost the screen They like a Like a flash point where he's gonna have to recreate the experiment and then horribly star himself and almost Or then recreate the experiment a second time.
It works There's one in in the mark weight run where he keeps he's trying to get back home And he keeps like he ends up like an far future and then has to get closer close to his own time And he keeps on you kind of other speedsters and he has the ability to steal their speed not maliciously But right you can take it on and he was exactly jumpstart himself Jay my name is been exposed to bury that it might actually help jumpstart his speed well in the comics berries the source of the speed force right Apparently you're outside door. No, that was that was the upstairs. Hey, what's turning on? But source of the speed force totally sounds like some kind of like charity marathon I think I said I think I said the fourth a while ago they really they released this noptus This week No, but it's well it's because of like Mary Because of her coming but something with her coming back from the pit quote from the synopsis is Oliver reaches out to an old friend John Constantine wait, what the shit did he have constant team?
We talked about how bad his week is in the flashbacks now Only only briefly they make those everything but they cut his hair back to go Corey stall have a wig on um strain The second season like we get flashing but get to like flashbacks or whatever he had to shave his hand to like be in You know, I'm just for a man, but um before a while they had like a Yeah, let's change level wig on him What you should have said is about kilmer level week. Yeah, no, you're right I see the saint which is better than the Val Kilmer level week. I didn't I was fine with the same except for his god awful supposed self-African accents I wanted to punch him in the goddamn throat every time he opened his mouth for that horrible wig and that like It is and he got it wrong. He should have done something else I like the same I still like the same I don't give it up But you know I'm not involving the same we're a different that we took shots We didn't do it together still You know the drinking game with you while you weren't here Who is haunting me but not enough fun to the conchorps cutaway It was just plays whenever I'm around.
It's like it's awesome. It's replaced my ability to summon journey. It will Yeah, it's just weird. I had a Bowie mix and I was kind of like okay, I got it.
But I don't hate him But I was like, okay, I should put that big on the hard drive in your car Still horrible horrible horror Do you like tell us more not well now? I just I just have another time to get the music off my computer onto my mom's computer and then plug in a USB I don't think she stole it from working Liberated one from work CW they finally put out the first season of eyes on the on Netflix, so I've been rewatching it Which I really enjoyed rewatching it I was gonna say I finally caught up in the two episodes that they have out Yes, I did almost pee myself laughing with grumpy old live when she's vaguely racist. You're one of the good ones like you're one of the good ones I wouldn't say big she was pretty dead on I'm not just flat out dropping the end. She was not as racist as she could get.
Oh that shut up to Pac Yep, I do what she's talking about this game. She's like Three half forwards. Oh my god I was rewatching the first season and I got to them eternity live episode where she eats the brain of the woman who she died And I think she has like a crazy maternal instincts It's fucking hilarious where she goes to like fix Robbie's hair and he's like well not overtly sexual That seems like an extreme form of harassment Speaking of maternal instinct This is gonna trigger me off on so entirely I've been watching a fair. Oh, so I watch a fair amount of the at me nights for the last two weeks It's a binge them actually The girl Alexi She won the night she was on she was new she had kind of long dark hair with bangs down on the bridge of her nose She's from a podcast called boy crazy radio.
Oh, yeah, yeah, she was on Yeah, I actually really good since I like her sense of humor. She's kind of cute in a weird way that I like anyway I come when I get with what's an teenager She was on with was it the Steve a G episode? I think so but the big Colin Hanks and She was the girl the big big big big glasses Her podcast actually Audio is not the greatest because it sounds like she's on a phone Calling into some kind of or she's yeah, she's doing something So everything sounds like it's on the phone your basic listening recorded phone call she can get on it Did we got a sure a lecture with a white collar? She was in the middle podium.
Yeah I know I know with my brain and she won the internet But I thought I'd also because I was driving fucking all over the place in the middle of nowhere working listen finally to a lot of Nerdist podcasts. I'm so pretty much oh, I was hugely behind I deleted all the ones that I know interesting listening to with her I'm really want to hear it's not cherry. It was funny. I The amount of change that's going on with him like the last two months fucking hilarious because well If you go past two months he's all anti-marriage and thank children then also he's engaged and then he's gonna talk as a Colin Hanks talking about how he wants to have kids what yeah, sorry I can see that wow and I'm also trying to figure out if you're trying to like bring back the word rad He uses the word rad a lot suddenly He gets stuck on words like for the first year the podcast he said amazing so many fucking times They don't bring a baseball back.
It's the word Raab Jesus it was a bit Okay, so he actually I don't know if he actually does it anymore But he used to be in like an 80s metal parody band called sniper, okay? And they did a really great song which was for a fake 80s a robic's movie called go for it and it's hilarious No, no, I don't sniper Go for it and listen and it's so fucking funny. I almost pee myself laughing like I said he loves the 80s So it wouldn't shock me. Yeah, I'm glad okay.
Well laughed uncontrollably. He said in my day. We said let's make it a blockbuster night. Yeah Just call it fucking Have you never said to somebody you want to come over and watch a movie with the intent of doing shit with them on the couch?
That was my yeah, exactly. I know Come back. Let's watch movie In the bathroom You know G-locked like one downtown because That's if you like that six-inch I never like why is that building playing their music so loud? It's like to keep the homeless people sleeping in front of the door Doesn't shock me the slightest.
What's gonna say we've walked like maybe 100 yards from the hotel when we were done or for NDK and I was holding this people everywhere. Yeah Not cosplaying. No, I was not cosplaying it We're having a drink on the patio the hotel bar rest my homeless. Yeah Yeah One of the good ones that you're one of the good homeless people So I do I do I jump back to iZombie.
Oh, yes I actually really do like how much they're just completely destroying major. Yeah, I'd be guys Well now he's a drug addict because he can't handle not being perfect. Yeah I know but also ravion he is a very garden hilarious. I like I'm ready for a major to just be dead Like I said ravion on dead ravion whatever their version of ecstasy is fucking Is it you for him?
Like I said Oh, there was just a turn to her into a no. It's a combination of No, it's a combination of sitting re-insane acts right here. Yes, right, right? Yeah, David Andrews is just fucking awesome.
Apparently my neighbors just ate shit down that stairs. Yeah, pretty much There's an ability now David Andrews is this podcast brought to you by does me does property measure company I told you what I thought somebody got I said I told you when I thought somebody got murdered Yeah, I was actually not pretty sure I was on the phone with you Because I'm like you texted me I'm like you text me something like should I be concerned? What should I do since there's a trail of blood leading to the dumpster and a giant pool of it at the dumpster like did you find a body in the dumpster? No, I did however find a bunch of the remodeling plastic, but there was nothing in it Oh, no, this this happened like giant pool of blood and blood up and down the stairs from the Not very good at it.
No, you know the thing is I didn't find any blood on the carpet on the third body up in that plastic You're supposed to use tape to seal shut like I said, I honestly think I'm gonna take my gorilla tape is much better to use than say Yeah Terrible for that. It's basically points sticky paper Being a bad way to flash back on Dexter. Oh, is it okay? What speaking of that was gonna say speaking of bad wigs flashbacks on Dexter I haven't watched it in a while.
I lost interest after the Johnathan go to the No, actually, let's not watch it. Oh, no, he's got a raise a kid fuck this shit the next season I call him to him. No, no, I don't want it the next season after that one had colonnakes on it Was he the big bad? Yeah, shit.
Yeah, it was pretty good. You should watch it It was just really but you realize that the finale of Dexter is rated as one of the most hated finales I haven't seen it's like up there with lost bad watch last season. I'll barely shit But I did watch the lumberjack mercies. I did watch a documentary I don't know if we talk about the nightmare It's a documentary called the nightmare and what it's about is people who have sleep paralysis Which sounds kind of boring at first because you know, oh, yeah The shit that people see here and feel while they're paralyzed.
I mean some people believe that they've been possessed by you know I believe These are people that are all over the world there and big guys in London all of our United States They do some research into stories from the parts of the world There are very similar descriptions in all around the world of what you'll see and there's always shadow men with red eyes One's wearing a hat one, you know, and so you know, I had to sit there with children. There was one lady That was kind of weird she she was talking about the last time she had sleep paralysis and She was laying on the side sleeper so they show and they do a lot of reenactants and then which get which gives it a little bit of jump It's missing here. They do a pretty good job of reenactants. I think it's resting 911.
No, I'm not What he was? So this was the other side she's older And she feel like there's a most evil thing in the world right behind her and she can't close can't turn around and look I can't see over her shoulder and so she starts freaking out Whatever reason she's able to say the word Jesus, okay, and the evil leaves she feels the presence leave and at the time She wasn't religious at all, but she'd never had sleep paralysis since uttering that word So now she's Christian and Mary and you know and she has a YouTube video of herself where she was talking about The whole experience of this stuff and I'm sure the videos intent is to bring you into Christ or something But the guy asks her on the documentary like will do you ever watch other little stories about what they've gone through? She's like no, I don't want to go back on that I feel that I've been saved and my goal is to do not let me say Then she's talking about you'll send her a story about what they've gone through like obviously they're sending her these stories looking for support Looking for them and she won't read them and she won't watch them. She won't read them and watch them like that's kind of shitty to put yourself out There's like this person wanting to help people within you're not helping people.
What do they want religion or not? Look at the best of your personality Well, it's not just Christian and it's all religion but but uh It was a good document. I enjoyed it. Start talking a little slow.
I'm not Netflix right now. I'm gonna sleep for you Because I'm a really bad It depends I can sleep sitting up. I don't matter. I can just prove it out on the pocket.
Yeah I mean I'm a bad sleeper. I never had nightmares before I was a bad sleeper I have lots of nightmares now and like I said, I know exactly why I'm a light sleeper and a bad sleeper now It's just an alcoholic ex that I lived with and I was always afraid he was gonna light something on fire and wander off while I was sleeping So now I will wake up at the drop of a fucking hat and I have awful nightmares pretty regularly Well, it's my brain chemistry. I'm from the nightmares and um Weird dreams because of the depression the device are gonna level my certain level It depends on where I'm at physically with time. I'm mentally I can usually sleep okay.
I'll go through a little bounce in some Yeah, we know this special in depressed At the same time when I do to sleep I'm I'm able to kind of control my dreams for like whatever it would have For years I had nightmares. I would relive certain things in my dreams over no rain. I wake up thinking that was going on I actually have a new set of nightmares courtesy of you, right? You know what you can shut up about that entirely I'm tired of hearing about it wasn't your business tell anybody about it So well, we're enough his documentary to describe something I told you about the idea that I have someone's really Was the new year of paralytic second tropic aerosol?
Yeah, what? Paralytic second tropic aerosol. It sounds super-assy, but Yeah, but like you're paralyzed, but you're tripping. Oh my god.
So it's a good trip that trip doesn't matter You're you know, yeah, that'll fuck you up. I had it. Yeah, it's I actually dreamt that idea I think was I tell you about last week. Yes, you called me It spat out that fucking name at me over the phone.
Yeah, what because like the last couple weeks I've had dreams are like oh, I can mine this for shit I thought of the second protagonist in mens mortem But it just I feel like they make some kind of vague reference to something vaguely like that in trans metropolitan But I'm gonna have to go back and reread it to find out exactly what's making you warning about future drugs You don't say it wouldn't surprise me if they're not like it. I don't think it was just a thing that was there Like I said, I don't think it was a fully formed idea. It's like the Hitler midget sex thing It's just some random nose like I hate my head I'm like it's like it's just one of those things where it's like it's a random off-the-cuff idea that he throws it in some weird piece of dialogue It never follows up well you always like you always have like the weird drugs they had and then like just kind of leave it It's like to read the original Wizard of Oz books. Okay.
Like I said, he left so many like unexplored and explored weird off-the-cuff Just been throwaway ideas Maybe their ideas for future books that he's never wrote He put 14 bucks, but there's obviously something that are still unexplored so we had a bunch of ideas Speaking of people who have ideas Really I missed the name they introduced Michael Holt. He was a guy who built that he made the algorithm Oh, yeah, that was got turned into like a firing machine. Um, that's Mr. Terrific.
Yeah, I'm not a mr. Terrific Where do they meet him gay? It doesn't bother me? Oh no, because he's gonna be mr.
Terrific. He gay. No, no, he's because he knew the original mr. Trus from his mr.
Fantastic. Sounds so straight. Yeah, the actual straight to doesn't it? He's got a couple kids.
You know, you know, you're putting that in the visual. He had a lame bed and shut your head wherever you are. I was invisible plus oh my god Never wonder if he just had a turn of visible and he watched like he looks down. It's like watch it.
Oh, yeah, like well You have a mean if a closed turn invisible to when he was jerking off like a clear towel I know what is dick turn visible once it's a zydiver. Oh, but warm please no no because it'd be like in a visible man Like when he eats the Chinese food and sees it digesting and throws it up. I love that goddamn scene Um, I love that. But anyway, you guys can't see the horrified face.
I mean, well, the movie wasn't that good either I missed it. It was entertaining, but it was fun. It was fun. I like to see Samo Neil hunt things I guess is my thing.
He did get typecast for me. Yeah, dinosaurs and visible people. He was another one where you hunt like it was like not a cop but like Chase someone It's like Chris Pratt. He's basically a typecast as good looking.
I won't get to it good looking guy who has CGI shimmering Yeah, so I guess we finally started watching Parks and Rec Did you? How far in have you made it? I'm like two thirds into the second season off You need to get farther in because like I said, it doesn't get really really good until the third season when they add Uh, I'm sorry. Adam Scott the cast.
I want to read you a text message I got from Doug earlier this week. I know this one is like just had an OMG moment Jason thorough Justin throw Sorry Justin Justin throw like yeah, I was like I just had an oh at 9 10 at night on a Thursday Yeah, I was instead of watching cooties. I was watching a huge. I want to move it for Thursday, but I'm so into person Right?
And then I was just in the Rose on there and I'm like fuck yeah He's great. Like I said the first two seasons are okay, but it gets really He doesn't think I'm very long. No, he's not like that maybe at four or five episode arc But I really like Liz not Liz. That's a bit wrong.
Um, just Leslie just uh, oh names Um, just Leslie Leslie just moved away from our moved on from um, his name's actually Louis CK. No, no, no. Okay, did you like the gag that I had and I hope that you remember this Ryan when they have his Eson's already trying on outfits for Justin throw out and getting him to a previous service for his divorce please proceedings Something like that needs Sequence try the gloves sequence. No loves like no.
Yeah, I actually just watch that like either yesterday I believe bourbon flavored alcohol. What are you doing about that? That's our ice cube. No, that's the one from return to the Jedi.
Yeah, it's the one that's in progress No way that's the one from a revenge. There's regular ice cubes and whiskey stones in there I don't think any of my my ice guns or frozen or not Yeah, I'm really enjoying it you guys are right. I had kind of that not barrel through well You do the first season I would have told you to start the third season But you need the first two seasons for background have you gotten to the one yet where Andy shows up naked at Ann's house? And he's actually naked in real life.
Does he was he really? Have you ever heard this story? No, like I said apparently they did a bunch of like shots where he just wasn't getting the reaction he wanted from Amy power And so he's like I'm just gonna go full cock out on this one and he did and that's the one they use so when you see her do the second Face and she's like like horrified. It's because he's actually completely naked apparently He got a very serious letter from from the network after that Like I said that he framed and put up, but yeah, no, he actually did go full on bare-assed nice the full on No, it's the full Chris Pratt full start or oh god star load Almost want to watch it the nartis of the galaxy like I said you've seen the last Before yes, I have to drink.
Oh, no, I already paid for it. It's fine. Oh, okay. No, it's cool.
I took care of it Well, I mean that was between you two Is that was drinking your whiskey? Oh, no What I need to make me this breakfast first. I think there's some juice in the fridge, but that's about it She's I almost said something very very horrible. That's just shocking Yeah, you saw the last day I didn't like where they had all of the adult porn parodies and one of them was regarding the galaxy And it was like I am growing no something pecker.
What was his first name? Tucker oh, what was it last name? Sorry? It was pecker like I said was pecker something and his name is like yeah, pecker.
Well, it's star load Otherwise on a star load and then yeah, I am growing He's just a big wooden dildo. I I Sounsel entry. Oh fuck I owe Tyler's ear Shit, I just see South Park this week. Oh, you have to watch it.
I watch movies that need two weeks So I don't think it came out last week. Oh, yeah But uh, I didn't watch movies this week. But it's pretty simple Plus there's only like eight episodes in a season of South Park now They don't do they don't do they don't have to work they do they basically make whatever the fuck they want They're like, oh, yeah, I feel like making a season And coming in like this one cool. Yeah, please do it Like I said, no, it's every episode was viral this week Like I said, they're making their money off of the morning.
So this week I don't guys know what was it? South Park was all about me. So over the over the season They've had the new part of town kind of like Do do to so power what I know if I call it and then there's like a lower down Shut up. Yeah, yeah, you should top up.
Yeah, you're shit top power. Yeah, she part of town. Yeah, it's like it's like going to go on Go into the low high. Yeah, or low-doh.
Yeah, I really hate shit like that. But it's just so much easier right now That's like River was it it's like it's Yeah, it's that's north. I'm sorry I still every time they do the episode with the tooth fairy and they try and drown the kid in the plant river It's just like the witches deep it cracks me the fuck up. Well, so this week was all about the yelpers.
Yeah Carbon using its carvings. It starts up like everybody's a fucking yelper and they're all wearing shirts like you know Warning, I'm a yelper t-shirts and shit. You know these guys walking and I like to Confused I know what yelp is it just seems a little bit dated seems like this episode be more relevant a few years ago So with the Highlands episode here enough Yeah, I was just like you know, I mean do you take you Reviews like really seriously I definitely take my brain cell. I don't even use Yelp as a review thing I use it's around me, but I mean like when you Google something the Yelp reviews is one of the first things that'll pop up The reviews pop up faster.
They do that is true. I'd rather see those But I mean I just I take it with a big grain of salt because people are a lot more likely to think about something they hate I'll be helping about a big grain of salt. Yeah, I mean some of the shit people we all about is just retarded But you know I do I do like reading some yelper views just because some of them are A lot of thought but it's just fucking like I see that's my waste that much time on you know the fact that they didn't get their dessert A quick enough or something which was a point of that episode Yeah, so basically, you know these guys are going through all the elpers are ruining these businesses because they're demanding like free shit Nice tables and everybody's been over back as free elpers and then finally one restaurant stands up against against the yelpers It's like a check these teas type restaurant. It's called Charles Interiming Yeah, it's called like a Pete's or something Pete's Yeah Pete's a place So he throws all the uppers out and then makes all the restaurants realize they don't have to fucking care the elpers either So the elpers lose their power until they all get together and and Start like physically damaging the restaurants Yeah And yeah, and yeah They're the leader of the numbers including carbon and so the solution to the whole thing was because finally like a Little nice boy calls out on TV calls out the leader of the uppers was a him that's carbon But all like 1500 yelpers show up and they all start battling about how they're I didn't want this position But I had to take it to spiritually guide these people and it's my responsibility So the solution to it was basically they all give them Kyle makes a deal with the city one by one They take all the elpers into the government to the mayor's office and they give them a gold badge and they're like we want to Whoa, you are the elite you're the elite yelper and then there's this awesome fucking song called bookers and come Because you know because no because that's what we'll go in your food and you show up to restaurant talking wearing your gold badge Is boogers in common, you know, it's funny.
I had a conversation I guess pretty fucking them Graphic on exactly how they can go away with what I mean, it's so hard Like I said, I have a conversation with two of my coworkers and both of them are like 15 One of your veterans of the service industry and they're like in every kitchen. I've ever been in it I've literally never seen a chef fuck with food ever like yeah There goes your argument You guys should definitely watch it was a fucking funny Fuck this chick she started this fucking rumor that I fucked her at a bar which I like how does that even have me as I know I know what the bathroom might know but like After I was behind the bar and put my relationship with that relationship with Candice in peril which I'm like Way too hot for you to have ever banged No like this girl so far out of his leg is hilarious. Yeah No, no, no, no, no, no, no, he was with another one who started the rumor Oh, is that the girl the model now for? She works with the back of it at bound.
She's one of those years there's yeah, yeah, that's Yes, I'm sorry. So did you ever get rid of this girl? How does this be resolved? I basically well ovens fitting in her food Literally now since I'm sure adults.
I'm like life is probably terrible enough with them already Oh, so why hope you get her? Well crazy. It's like you know crazy bitches in your 20s That's that was the minefield that you know I danced on in my 20s Oh, I don't even want to think about you in your 20s I didn't meet you until a while after they I'm like, yeah, you must have been insane me. What was it?
Same the girls I was doing More what I was there was more what I was getting at anything else is there. I bet your I bet your segos But my second train well, I had one here. We go in New Orleans, right? Well, no actually look up here right after I moved here so In 98 for my birthday.
I moved here in March or April about here 98 of that year a bunch of the three or three guys took me out to What's now penthouse at times called like my own? yeah, and it had Shower in it like a glass wall shower that you could your friends could pay for you to put in and have a girl dance on you That sounds terrible. It was and also full of it was fun. It was fun.
It was fun. Yeah, it was fun I still the full ride actually I found those other ones. That's the good part I literally had my wrist tied to this chair in a shower And I had this beautiful girl naked rubbing all over the place and sliding all the place I was still cognitive enough to come to the number of times the flash went off And so you need to tell how many so I knew there were four of all roads So I sat down back like give it's like they're changing into clothes that were dry and all I could stuff and sitting back down at the table I was like here's very close my friend was like no Where will twenet under one? Give me those pictures.
I don't know if you're talking like The house mom took pictures. I saw the flash me think he has me one of them or two of them never for Where those two? I can't think like to Um, they were a girl I met that night. It was also a dancer My friends officially referred to after that point as broadzilla because she was she was really really tall like super tall I'm like because she was crazy.
I went on She was crazy and she probably could have gone on rampages. I just played it very carefully. Um, so we hooked up one night I mean we were at my apartment and she just never left Oh, no, and I tried telling her to go home a bunch of times and she just never got the hint I literally told her that was me. I had one point She needed to go home because I needed some space and she disappeared for about eight hours And then found out what clubhouse went to that night and showed up there Oh good god.
I waited till I had a drink or two to start profishing me again, which sounded like a great idea Yeah, because you had a drink or two right um or four and um It's your twenties. It's been on again and finally um The way I got rid of her and got my friends love this story The way I got rid of her was by telling her that I was moving to London for work And so she finally left. I never came back and never reached out to me again until about Six or seven months later when I went out one night and ran into a barn on comfort I'm back. I told her I was visiting for a friend's birthday.
That was leaving the next morning You realize you should have just told her you were you were your twin. I don't know what to work better. I'm brian jones Oh god. Well, I think it was a member of money python So that was one of the craziest though was probably a squirrel This was a New Orleans where I started dating her.
Uh, was she sleeping in your balls? No, she never got that crazy I'm sure to start her sleeping in her balls. Did she start your name in her arm? No, she was a cutter But she did not scar her name or cut her name to my knowledge in her arms or any body parts Um, so we were getting we never did anything close to this kind of show We did it for about six months.
It took me about a month to realize that My my friend Johnny and I had moved into the department. Well, it wasn't part of the top floor of the house Um, so these stairs there was there were two items on magazine street. Well, it's there if you were facing it We were here and our stairs went up the side of the house here. There was a fence and there's yard and there's other house Guess who lives in the other house?
No, no No, I matter in my life. Oh, I know where she went Oh my god, I'm sure if you knew she lived next to you, you probably would have never dated her Well, it's the holy don't ship where you eat kind of thing. I don't know what that I was still Stupid Stupid or I'm stupid now. Yeah, so I mean think about all the terrible decisions all of us in our 20s like Yeah, I put up with so much crap in my 20s.
I would never even vaguely think of putting up with now. Thanks. Yeah, so I'm talking about you fuck face But so she ended up living with us for a while. Um, and then we break up and it was not a good breakup There's a really basically told she needed to move out.
So she moved back home Next door There's the door to her bedroom opened up on a balcony that faced our house and on that side of our house We're windows running down the entire side of the house. So she could literally see straight in the bedroom and watch us in our in our house And I'll never get coming home one day. Why did you find your rabbit well in the pot? No, I never had a She had taken balsa with me and a crucifix out of it and then taking a teddy bear that I don't remember why I gave her a She nailed the crucifix and the teddy bear onto the side of the house Um and even like made a little red mark on the side for the Yeah, but it took like some kind of plastic plant and made a crown of thorns out of it And so I picked up a roommate from work that day.
We're driving back and we're talking we get to the house and wagat The stairs and I get to the top of the stairs and I start laughing What are you like? Jesus Christ? Is there laughing? I mean Johnny looks at he goes fuck me and he goes right like he walks right back He's like pulling the blinds down on every fucking window in the house and like hey, what's wrong is how could you laugh at that?
I'm like, I'm still outside yelling at him. I mean, it's funny. It's funny. It's funny.
It's funny. It's funny. It's been second. She spent half as much time making something out of herself as she did baking this piece of shit You know here's a fight teddy bear.
We'd probably still be together and all of a sudden I gonna do her slam on her picture She totally hurt every goddamn word you said she was well she asked for her. She went to some reaction That's what I mean. That was the point of it, right? Yeah, I had talked her along along I'm surprised you were talking about that.
I'm in passing like hey, how are you? Maybe like I said maybe we'll talk about this next week But I want you to think about like all the fucked up shit you put up with your romantic partners in your 20s that you would never even vaguely think about putting up with now I can think of shit that I put up with my 30s that I would have thought about. But I mean specifically your 20s, but I mean like specifically your 20s like put up with so much shit that I shouldn't put up with. Oh yeah.
I could have made myself so much happier if I'm just like you know what this person's a complete shitbag and a fucking shit show and I shouldn't be here. Yeah. Speaking of uh, Douglas 20s I did uh last night. You know what I should ask that a Doug?
Doug pulled some pretty spectacular ladies in his 20s. I said it. I did way out of my lady. Doug had literally like the most insane magic hour I have ever seen while he's been drinking in his 20s.
Actually I was about to say I actually rediscovered that skill last night. I was gonna say it was a call a broken world detection. Yeah but really hot. That's fine.
Yeah. It doesn't matter. I'm like a slew of them. No like it's like nothing I've ever seen.
It's kind of like he might have had the best magic hour. I can promise you that we are not the only ones in the world nor is it our generation that has this problem. No it's everyone. I've got a very good friend of mine who is now going through recovering.
Yeah again from another. My sister and I my older one oddly enough not the other one actually named it. We refer to it as Trampolina syndrome. What does that mean?
It's when you're in your 20s and you're kind of figuring out what you actually want. So you let yourself get more out of it. Oh Trampolina like not Trampolina, I thought it was a play on that. Not Trampolina or Trampolina.
Like I said you figure out what you want so you kind of go and try a bunch of different stuff and decide you like something and once you get yourself like yeah exactly like I said get yourself walked over a bunch of shit that you shouldn't say yeah. It does your own independence. I mean that's yeah I never I never allowed myself to be anything like an abusive relationship like there was no no it's I would never say I would never say I'm physically abusive relationship but it's just one of those where you're like you know I don't need to be with this person anymore. I'm very ugly.
I do see several of my friends who just let themselves in these relationships even though it's different as you can say something to them but until they realize that it's pointless. At this point I don't. No at this point I absolutely don't. Hang back and make sure everybody's okay and just make sure they know that I'm around if they need it.
No that's what I do now what I mean in my 20s I'm totally safe. You got started fighting. I'm not fighting. I had one sentence and I said it.
No it's done. Sorry. Also put some token that it'll save your pan. What?
I'm sorry it's safe. Nothing important I hear. Like I said no but in my 20s I would absolutely say something to my friends and their liking this relationship. I'm like he's making you unhappy or she's making you unhappy why don't you just be done but until they realize that themselves is pointless.
Yeah well they can't hear you. I'm not so whole fine. I know unfortunately in some cases it is because X person hits Y person a lot. I actually get to have really bad bad experience at that.
I haven't but um well I wonder if I'm too scared. It's too bad. And then I hit it and then I found out about through a mutual friend. I was like hey are you okay?
And she's like who told you that? I'm like who do you think? I think it's not like we're not friends so you could just say something but why are you upset that I know this? It was a blurbirt.
No that's what it was. It's such a stigma too. I don't know why everybody thinks like everybody'll think of my thoughts. It's such a weird stigma.
No. No it's not. Um wow wait wait I'm rubbing all this one. Paul is a crazy girl.
So speaking of all kinds of relationships. Sure how we got there. Because we were talking about crazy not even necessarily crazy girls but people you did in your 20s that now you wouldn't come fucking near. Just now.
Oh wait I can't. So speaking of things you'd never go near. There was a quarry of fucking zombies I'm walking dead. Oh my god that was the premiere of Walking Dead was just no.
Like I was like it's in a heroic sentence I'm talking to be like it must be so hard to like talk. Keep going on. It's like so I was like well how like you know like what's this one gonna open up with like we're all interested about it the whole Alexandria Rick thing yeah and then it just opens with giant quarry of fucking zombies and then the trunsals and then you're just like well I guess we're fucking doing this and I'm like we're doing it live. We're doing it live.
That was actually not the Abrahamism that came out of that one. The Abrahamism that came out of that episode was grabbing the bull by the nut sack because Abraham is the shit. I actually was talking to a friend about wanting to start like a horror band like a zombie band called Mother Dick. That's a good one.
I realize that sounds like a foreign person trying to sway it. Mother Dick. You say make fuck. No it's pretty much like making fucking fucking.
Was it making fucking fucking? See making fuck like I said it literally sounds like somebody who almost has a grasp of the English language but doesn't understand idioms and slang. Yeah. Mother Dick.
Speaking of the walking of the fucking mother from Chappy. So you know Kirkman has come out and said multiple times that he will not that everyone's on tip being killed there's no one that's just. I like he does that and I immediately think Jen Kirkman. I did too actually.
I read my own note. I was like Jen Kirkman said that. Um. She's so nice.
She's so cute. I like that. I would just fuck her by the way. What does it say that Ollar is meant to be in the show?
She's got she's not she's not I want to say Jen Lawrence right now. That's that right. Who's um. Blog is Jen for Lawson.
Jen Kirkman is like just kind of beneath uh Jen Lawson in terms of some weird shit because she popped up when um his spirit animal is Jen for Lawson. No my spirit animal is Mark Merritt um. That's just bad. That's it yeah.
Doesn't put me ahead of the game but uh no because she was on when Paul Thomas was doing the pot of top cast um he wanted to segment like I think every couple weeks was like he would call her. Yeah. That's what I was saying. So he called her and then we're going to take her south.
I don't know how specific name for that that can't be that person. Jen Kirkman? No Jen Lawson. Jen Lawson is a blog.
That's not her. No. That's the first image that pops up when you search for a name. For who?
Jen for Lawson. Jen Lawson. Oh no. I mean awesome but no.
Is there podcast by Jen Lawson or? No no. Jen Lawson. That's a blog.
That's a blog. But you can add a book that done. That. I called that.
You should read it if you haven't. Hold on. Yeah. No this is this is uh.
What's the question Lawson? It's called the book is called. That's pretend this never happens. Okay.
But she's got an obsession with like text that are made out of multi fucking fantastic. Um it really is Doug. Yeah. Like that.
I probably in a half like every time I give Doug a book I think I'll really I think that I'll really enjoy. I have that like I have that because I'm where you'll absorb their weird personality quirks like that. I said to that one of like the 14 weird personality quirks and you're like I have eight of these now I'm going to start doing the other six. Okay.
I once saw Doug open a door into a poll I'll apologize to the poll and then walk through the door and then hit myself with the door like yeah like that was something. Um. Sorry. Anyway.
So fucking that. Yeah. So what I was saying was Kirkman said that uh Carol there's a character that he wouldn't kill it's Carol. He finally killed.
He's fucking teen Carol. Which is funny because he was gonna kill her in season three. Yeah. But I mean Carol season three is not Carol now.
Well no. I can't. Well it's weird because I was telling I don't know if I was someone whichever one of you was that like they were doing the marathon and I just had to be at a friend's house and we were it was like on the like on the third or fourth episode of the first season and like Carol's husband is still around and she's got this for sure. Here and she's like.
Yeah they killed him. That's what I'm saying. No. They were in the marathon every episode and I came in on like the third episode.
I'm sorry not this season though. That's why I'm like yeah yeah yeah. But it's like it's weird seeing like Carol like Mousey. Yeah.
Where she's like oh like don't it's okay Jim or whatever the fuck is that he was. Um and then she beat the shut up. I couldn't figure out about that. That was really.
That was super early. But like like like Carol's like like doing the laundry like in a river and I'm going to the washboard. Yeah. And I'm like holy shit she would kill everyone here right now.
You know they actually did a really interesting series of interviews recently with all of the actors who were walking dead on how their characters growth has actually changed them as a person. Oh I imagine. I mean how could you not steal it. It's just like the year as that person you're going to start to but I mean also I mean yeah.
Well when they interviewed what's her name? Mckenny. The one that played Beth. I don't miss her.
I liked her so much. Did you see the talking dead after the that episode of they did this thing that was awesome and shitty at the same time. She was talking about like you know she's like you know it's over like I'm moving back to whatever LA or something. I'm good by the way.
And she started like crying. Like when she was holding it in. Yeah. But it's like slow zoom on her which I was like shitty but like I know like as you know you know you want to capture that emotion.
Yeah. I mean like you want to capture that honest emotion. I don't think they're trying to provoke her into doing that. Oh god no but like but what I'm saying is like yeah like they absolutely have these huge emotional connections to the characters and friends and to as the character started and so you really play the character for.
I don't miss her. I don't miss her. Four seasons. Four seasons.
So let's let's say it's four years ago. I do. And they hang out with each other. It's not like they have social lives.
I mean they don't have a set. They recorded for about I would say five months of a year. So she 20 months. I mean that's almost too late straight.
But like they but what's the like Lynna. I mean where they might as well read us is completely set up as family like Lana. Yeah. Well well I don't know if you got a new place but he sold the old ones I was a whole thing about like very killed there or not.
Why I was gonna ask you to have Rick's beard. What do you guys feel like what plot lines do you think they're setting up with this opener for the rest of the season. Well okay I was hoping for a few more but they just go with that. I think in terms of the big bad I think we're gonna see Negan probably mid season finale.
Probably. That makes sense. I'm kind of disappointed that killed off the Ethan and Rick characters. Really quick.
I like him as an actor. Especially to stand here. In the new Jean. I got a bit of a really intense.
Oh you Jean was awesome with this. You got to respect the hair game. Everything you Jean said was fucking gold. And it's just like when he goes hello.
Yeah. He heard. Well then he walked into the um the embroidery at the very beginning and she's like oh god thank god nothing happened to your hair. Yeah.
Yeah. That actually makes me think of it. It makes me think of the season opener for season two of True Blood. When he has to kill somebody in the basement and the Eric gets blood in his hair and so they have to cut his hair really short.
And the phrase is their blood in my hair. Pam is going to kill me. It's one of those like throwers. He's gonna have one here in the first season.
No no he was dying his hair bleaching at the time. Okay. So he got blood in it while the bleach was going so she had to cut it really short. But like I said.
It's like I said. It's like you see his dick in season five. Yeah. Cause I've never seen season.
I've never seen season. It's like a boogey night. It's like a giant dick. It's like a giant dick.
But like I said it's just one of those throw away lines where it likes to make me think no matter what's going on people are still going to be a little bit shallow. Well they were talking about because I watched the talking dead the next day. And it was a nikatero and gimbal. But they were talking about how Joshua Darnett Eugene like they go he's so unintentionally funny.
Yeah. And the way I was like I was like I just do it. Yeah. It makes me look so effortless.
Cause I don't really effort to do it. Yeah. But the way I realized how funny he was. And he was always one of my like beloved characters in the comics.
Eugene? Yeah. Uh he's dying. He's getting to be that way on the show.
Like I said I always it's just one of those things where he's so understated and settled. Cause I'm really. I just think they're right. I mean it's like running for Iron Man.
You just have these weird lines that you know you can hear Eugene's voice in your head. Oh get a blueberry. That was actually Adlip. He actually hit did you notice?
Really Doug? Yep. Um sorry. Um no that actually uh uh I was actually Darnett Darnett.
I think we're still on the walking dead but uh Darnett totally had the bad life. Uh which by the way I know cannot absolutely watch love actually without imagining Rick being the character in love actually holding up the signs. He doesn't know he's gonna get it home. Girl.
But anyway um no uh Robert and Junior actually hit him. No. Okay. Robert and Junior actually hit food around the set of the Avengers.
So like whenever you seem like eating like blueberries like Johnson was like I don't know where that came from. Like and he literally hit food around the set. Why would he just ask for it? Cause it's Robert and Junior.
It's the same way like Brett gets always eating something in um the Oceans movies. Yeah. By the way I asked for chips not crackers. You bitch.
What? What? What? Chips are not crackers.
First world problems bitch. Shit. Did you pick word? I did actually.
Yeah. Well in that case. No no no no never bitch about a pre-lunch. What kind of chips do you know the Cheetos if you know?
Let's chips. Cheetos are lays. You can't walk. Um yeah crackers whatever.
They're like chips. So I have to like the cereal. But you know a slur. I have to do the California next week.
What part of California? San Francisco. Uh I'll be there. When I come back don't come back where?
All right. San Francisco is not that gay anymore. Oh yeah it is. Are you gonna see Tina?
Hopefully. Um we'll see much time I shut it up. My friends tell him I say hey and I'm kicking his ass at Fitbit. Well I'll be here next weekend to record you guys because I'm staying out there from Thursday night until the following Friday.
Well I mean frankly we should probably put up Talison at some point. But I was gonna go out and uh teach a class at Uber on lock picking and because I'm Uber. Um um it's their security awareness month so they're trying to keep things fun and interesting so I was talking to my friends Sam and she's like yeah I'm really excited. I really excited.
I look at a picture of her uh from a couple of my friends Facebook that I worked for Uber and fucking uh Mr. Robot was that fucking Uber last week. Yeah I remember that I saw that. That's like which Mr.
Robot? The kid. I'm sorry I can't I can't I can't think of him. Yeah I can't think of his name.
Do you say Mr. Robot that's actually well yeah that's like the way my club is called Tyler. No um um so I actually says like I can't wait I'm really excited like what the fuck you put me the week after this like I have to follow the I can't follow this I love that guy. I can't I can't talk that it's fucking Mr.
Robot. There was there was a table that keeps the regime alive. Well their response was like it was sweet. She's like but she armistor real but I'm like I have way more stable I think.
No you're no you're way more stable although I have to tell you like the way that they have him dressed in the entire series I'm like that's like every dude I know ever. That's the point. It's just a blend and you don't want to try attention to yourself. I want to it's distinctive but it's also generic it's kind of weird.
Yep. How can you costume someone distinctive but also generic? Gray's and Black's and jeans. Seems like blue jeans so does they always wear black jeans.
You wear black pants. Yeah slacks. I think so. I think it's like you realize we're now all gonna go back and be like slacks.
I'm not I have to wear slacks for Halloween so why? Because I'm Kaneki. What? He's the death leader.
I'm the yeah I'm a fascist girl. Sorry. I'm the middle of nowhere Oregon of all so let me give a little back to you guys. I think I told you guys this.
So I had the one hotel that actually existed in town that I was saying because that town was central to all places I had to go to. One hotel. I realized I literally only know like one town Oregon and that's Eugene. I was nowhere near Eugene.
I was three hours drive east of Portland. Oh good God. So I think it's called the high desert. Did you see like Belland Edward running through the trees or anything?
No that's of course. Thanks. But I was so I was on the river that if you cross the river you're in Washington state so I was like 30 minutes away from Tri-CZ or even Washington which I've been to board. So this company actually makes enough money to hire you guys?
Thanks for naming my client dick. I'll be good. Yeah. I'm so sorry I actually did not mean to doubt you on that one.
Yeah you can't talk about clients. If I name a client it's because it's a long time ago but I usually don't mean. Wow thanks Doug. I'm so sorry.
I was just going to show that. I was just going to show that. We're in the middle of nowhere Oregon and they could afford you. This particular client has several locations.
Like a warehouse or just like the office. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. So moving on the whole town like let's get away from the center. So the one hotel.
Because you're screening the work for me. Well no I don't think of the beep is the name. You fucking did. You brought it me.
I didn't know. It's okay. We can beep it. Just please make sure you beep the whole word.
Anyway so several buildings are owned by this client in that area. There are most of the reasons which you can go to offline. They operate out of this place. Well they operate out of towns around that place.
So I grab this hotel room because it's central to all different regions of the area that they go to. And it's the one hotel in town. And on Tuesday night I flew in Monday morning. Tuesday night never peak.
It drove three hours. It was exhausted by time I got there. I basically just slept the whole day. But Tuesday night.
It's funny because people are like have you heard from Ryan? I'm like no I'm pretty much never bothering him when he's out of town because I don't know when the shit he's sleeping. Yeah I was sleeping basically from about. No because somebody asked me something.
I'm like I don't know I haven't texted him he's working. They're like why not. I'm like I don't know when he's sleeping. Well the next trip is San Francisco.
And the trip I've got is Tokyo Singapore and Sydney all in a row. Oh my god you're going to bring me all the things. Oh no. Anyway so the first time Tuesday night I wake up and I get back to the hotel.
I change clothes. And I'm kind of hungry. I walk up the walk to the front desk and I'm like hey so there's somewhere around here. There's like you talk about it.
There's somewhere around here that's still up in that station to eat. That's not like a 31 drive to have you try to play sex door. And it's like no I'm just going to be there pretty decent. All right so I walk out the hotel.