124: The Art of Holding Space

If you’ve been a parent for a while, or maybe even if you haven’t, you probably saw an article on Holding Space making the rounds of online communities a few years ago.  In the article the author, Heather Plett, describes how she and her siblings were able to hold space for their dying mother in her final days because a palliative care nurse held space for them.   The article outlined some principles of holding space, and I think it really resonated with a lot of people – possibly because so many of us wish we had been held in that way, and we find ourselves trying to hold space for others in that way without a lot of guidance or support.   I kept that article in the back of my mind, and last year I took Heather’s 9-month in-depth course on holding space, and she’s just released a book called The art of holding space: A practice of love, liberation, and leadership.  In this episode we discuss what it means to hold space for others as parents, and how to raise our children to be able to hold space for others.   Links mentioned in the episode The Art of Holding Space: A Practice of Love, Liberation, and Leadership (Affiliate link). The Centre for Holding Space Website   Jump to highlights 01:38 Introduction to the episode and guest Heather Plett 02:38 What it means to hold space for someone 03:10 The three-layered bowl: what you offer, what guides you, and what supports you 08:23 What liminal space means, and where the concept comes from 20:51 What holding space looks like in the parent-child relationship 24:07 Allyship: supporting a child without taking over their struggle 29:08 Tools for supporting a parent who's clearly struggling 32:53 Discernment, humility, and intuition: the hardest layer of the bowl 43:49 Hijacking space, and catching yourself doing it to your own child 49:26 The spiral of authenticity, and giving children room to be themselves