126 - Admonition

“To admonish is better than to reproach for admonition is mild and friendly, but reproach is harsh and insulting; and admonition corrects those who are doing wrong, but reproach only convicts them.” ― Epictetus Show Notes: Stoics believe that we can only control ourselves. But also believe that we are here to help others. As a Parent I’ve tried to be good about correcting there actions, but not make them feel like they’re a person because the make mistakes. I was often told I was bad person for my mistakes. My partner is great about giving constructive feedback Often out with friends I’d dominate the conversation. She’d ask me on the way home if I noticed glazed eyes and lack of conversation on their part. She’d help point out these things so that I could get the results I wanted, which was to have engaging and fun conversations with my friends Non-threatening, just matter of fact was really helpful, and helped me to trust the feedback When we think we need correct someone, the first thing we should do is we should ask if they want to hear opinion, if they want to change. Respect the wish if they say no. Second is have a dialog by asking questions, don’t preach. Last keep our own judgements out of the conversation, otherwise the person will probably get pretty defensive. Nobody likes to feel judged. Most people want to be their best. Learning how to give and take constructive nonjudgmental feedback is a great skill that we all can benefit from. --- Hello friends! Thanks for listening. Want to take these principles to the next level? Join the Stoic Coffee House Community! Stop by the website at stoic.coffee where you can sign up for our newsletter, and buy some great looking shirts and hoodies at the Stoic Coffee Shop. Like the theme song? You can find it here from my alter ego. :) Find me on instagram, twitter, or threads Lastly if you know of someone that would benefit from or appreciate this podcast, please share it. Word of mouth is the best way to help this podcast grow. Thanks again for listening.