126. Why Kids Can’t Change Until Adults Do with AJ Crabill

Dr. Lynda talks with AJ Crabill about getting where we want to be by resisting the urge to focus on the strategies most familiar to us, and instead identifying the outcome we want and finding the most effective strategy from there. Through his work improving student outcomes by keeping “collectivism” in the center of the table, AJ has found some secrets that we can all use to come together in all kinds of boardrooms—schools, businesses, and communities—and even around the kitchen table. (00:00- 03:06) OPENING (03:07- 19:10) Intentional commitment Maladaptive behavior is actually adaptive What can we be doing to create the context of belonging and safety? What I really want us adults to deconstruct is.., What is the context that their choices were made? What options did they experience? PODCAST: Mapping Goodness: Making Our Neighborhoods Extraordinary with Hadiya Masieh What do I have to do to be able to help them…what do I have to do to be present. Are young people going to open their toolbox and use what they think will unlock. They need a diversity of tools. Beating a nail in with a wrench. Misalignment of intention and impact is a lack of clarity. Input and outputs… outcomes results… people can get clear at the beginning but there is a misalignment of inputs and outputs Mental fallacies (19:11- 22:13) BREAK (22:14- 36:21) The Marshmallow Test Whether children grow up with an experience of scarcity or not isn’t merely a ladder of affluence In the context of whatever is put in front of me that I still am able to make some choice to be focused on creation rather than merely of survival How do we create a space where we’re allowing young folks to experience that growth for themselves? I’ve got to be celebrating the successes that we’ve experienced but then honoring that they are insufficient to get us to the next level (36:22- 56:18) PODCAST: Raising “Solutionaries” by Teaching Skills Instead of Facts with Zoe Weil and Steve Cochrane Collectivism I always have the ability to make a choice that could be transformative BOOK: Great on Their Behalf But the critical distinction I didn’t make is that I wasn’t analizing what students needed most While education is a business of love that we have to show up in our most loving selves as we serve children… but love is not enough that it has to be partnered with a certain amount of expertise and a rigorous willingness to put the interest of the children Website: AJ CRABILL (56:19- 57:18) CLOSING