127: Doing Self-Directed Education

When parents first hear about interest-led learning (also known as self-directed education), they may wonder: why on earth would we do that?  And how would my child learn without anyone teaching them?   Many parents start down this path with only an inkling of where it may end up taking them and I think this is true of our guest, Akilah Richards.  Akilah grew up in a typical Jamaican family where children were not allowed to have an opinion about anything - even their own bodies and feelings.  In her book Raising Free People, she writes that:   "Respect, the way [Jamaican parents] define it, is non-negotiable, and the spectrum of things a child can do to disrespect an adult, especially a parent, is miles wide and deep.  Reverence for adults, not just respect, is expected, normalized, and deeply ingrained.  Somebody else's mama could slap you for not showing reverence to any adult.    Physical punishment for the wrong displays of emotion, even silent ones like frowns or subtle ones like deep sighs, were commonplace, expected, celebrated as one of the reasons children "turned out right."  Not only did you, as a child, dismiss any attitudes or anything adults might perceive as rudeness, your general countenance should reflect a constant respect - no space at all for showing actual emotion, if that emotion was contrary to what was reverent and pleasant for the adults in your life - again, especially your parents."   While we may not have grown up with parents who were as overtly strict as this, chances are our parents and teachers used more subtle ways of keeping us in line with behavior management charts, grades (and praise for grades) and the withdrawal of approval if we were to express 'negative' emotions like frustration or anger.   And of course this is linked to learning because compulsory schooling does not allow space for our children to be respected as individuals.  There may be dedicated, talented teachers within that system that respect our children and who are doing the very best they can to provide support, but they too are working within a system that does not respect them.   So how could we use interest-led learning/self-directed education to support our child's intrinsic love of learning - as well as our relationship with them?  This is the central idea that we discuss in this episode.  It's a deep, enriching conversation that cuts to the heart of the relationship we want to have with our children, and I hope you enjoy it.   Ready to Support Your Child's Natural Learning Whether this episode has you considering unschooling, reinforced your commitment to traditional schooling, or left you somewhere in between, one thing is clear: every child deserves to have their natural curiosity and love of learning nurtured.   The challenge for parents isn't choosing the "right" educational path, but knowing how to support meaningful learning wherever your child is.   The Learning Membership gives you the tools to nurture your child's development whether they're in traditional school, homeschooled, or unschooled.   You'll discover how to: Turn everyday moments into rich learning opportunities (just like Laura does with her daughter)Support your child's interests and curiosity without becoming the "teacher" parentCreate a home environment that enhances rather than competes with whatever educational approach you choose   Inside the membership, you'll find research-backed strategies that work alongside any educational setting, helping you become the parent who nurtures learning rather than forcing it.   Your child's curiosity is precious - don't let it get lost in debates about educational methods.   When you join before the end of day, August 8, you'll also get free access to Mind Your Own Business: For Kids, the course Carys and I built after she started her own pet-sitting business. It walks kids through testing an idea with real clients, then growing it if it works. You'll also get the You Are Your Child's Best Teacher Masterclass, 60 minutes on spotting the learning your child is already doing and starting a learning journal to track it.   Click the banner to learn more.     Jump to highlights 00:59 Introduction to the episode and guest Akilah Richards 04:02 Why Akilah left public school with her daughters 13:02 Unraveling who we are versus who we were told to be 16:40 Why good intentions can still cause harm 20:00 Reframing unschooling as a relationship, not a curriculum choice 28:22 Feeling as a way to dismantle White supremacy 30:01 Akilah's four-part practice: awareness, disruption, deschooling, unschooling 34:21 Validation, intergenerational trauma, and what it means to trust a child 39:45 "School is the bubble": navigating the world outside a self-directed home 46:43 Advice for parents of color in mostly White self-directed spaces 49:00 Developing a Disrupter's Ear: a resource for self-directed education spaces 54:32 What White parents can do: build real community with Black women   Resources discussed during the conversation: Maleka Diggs' Eclectic Learning Network Developing a Disruptor's Ear, by Akilah Richards and Maleka Diggs Toward Radical Social Change (TRUE) community Akilah's website, Raising Free People Akilah's book, Raising Free People