127. Perfect Track Record

Once I started eating, I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t a grazer – I was a binge eater. I ate in secret, whole packages at a time, with the door closed. When I came to Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) at 20 years old, I was obese, deeply unhappy, and running out of hope. Today, at 58 years old and 85 pounds lighter, I have a blessed life in recovery. From age three, food lit me up like a Christmas tree. I remember being caught hiding behind a curtain at my parents' dinner party, secretly bingeing on dessert. My first diet was in sixth grade, and it began a pattern that lasted for years: intense excitement, a few days of success, and then the moment of insanity when I told myself I could have ‘just one bite.’ From there, I was off to the races My brother was born with a heart defect, and I could feel the stress that my loving parents experienced. When I was 13, a surgery meant to fix his heart went wrong, and he died. When we lost him, our beautiful family circle was broken, and so was I. I gained 30 pounds that year and spent the rest of high school dieting. College was one long binge, until I found FA. Today, I’m married, raising two college-aged children – one transgender, one autistic – and caring for elderly parents. Life is full, imperfect, and deeply meaningful. For over thirty-five years now, I've maintained my right-sized body by asking my Higher Power for help—not just with food, but with life itself. My Higher Power has a perfect track record: every time I surrender to God's will, I get to live a beautiful life.