127. Understanding Attachment-Based Parenting with Todd Sarner

In today’s episode, we get to spend time with Todd Sarner from California. Todd is a father of one, psychotherapist, parent coach, and author of The Calm and Connected Parent. Early in his career, Todd worked with Dr. Gordon Neufeld, who wrote Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers. Much of our discussion centered on attachment as the instinct to hold close those we hold most dear. Todd explained that children are biologically wired not to listen when they don't feel connected and that connection must come before direction in all parent-child interactions. He emphasized that proactive parents, which entails creating structure upfront, is more effective than reactive parenting. We need to be “papa bears” and “mama bears,” warm and firm, without being dictatorial. This means that we should protect and take care of our children instead of only trying to do whatever makes them happy in the moment. We also considered several threats to attachment. Listen closely to this enticing episode, and learn how to improve your parenting and the connection with your children.Todd’s Websitehttps://transformativeparenting.com/Other Websitehttps://drrebeccajorgensen.com/Todd’s BookThe Calm and Connected Parent: An Attachment-First Guide to Raising Resilient Kids in the Age of Screens and AIOther BooksHold On to Your KidsSimplicity ParentingThe Anxious GenerationParenting from the Inside OutProactive Homeschool Dad (PHD) CoursePHD CourseThis Golden Hour