13. The Need for Verbal Expression

What if your child knows you love them… but rarely hears it?In this week’s Know Your Children, Rav Shlomo Katz and the women of Shirat David draw a sharp line between ahavah nisteret (love that exists but stays hidden) and ahavah gluyah (love that’s felt because it’s expressed). Most of parenting is “industrial”—laundry, food, homework, logistics—and yes, it often comes from love. But when love isn’t spoken, kids can grow up emotionally unsure, even inside a home that’s doing “everything right.”Using a mashal from marriage (“I provide everything. Shouldn’t that be enough?”), we explore why provision isn’t the same as connection, why waiting until a child is in crisis is too late, and how small, consistent habits—especially verbal expression and short, regular conversations—can change the emotional climate of a home.'This isn’t about guilt. It’s about learning to say what’s already true so your child can actually receive it.----------For more Shuirim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz, visit: https://ravshlomokatz.comJoin Rav Shlomo Katz's WhatsApp Community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/KHKOhhPaeHx5Kb74WL9L9a?mode=ems_copy_tCHAPTERS00:00 Opening and Sponsor Acknowledgements01:07 Shiur Overview: Imperfect Love05:28 Identifying Two Problems in Parental Love06:54 Guilt as a Trigger08:09 Patience and Compassion for Ourselves10:09 Emotional Layer Small in Daily Life13:12 Measuring Basic Needs21:26 Hidden vs. Revealed Love Question23:56 Hidden love in daily parenting gestures25:17 Rental car story and parental love realization29:08 Love often known to parents but not felt by kids30:27 Wife's expectations beyond financial provision31:33 Constant verbal communication vital in relationships34:56 Examining parent-child emotional connection42:34 Preemptive emotional conversations with children46:53 Love must be revealed, not hidden, with kids49:21 Metallica Covers and Unexpected Lullabies