130. Caring for the Caregiver

As the oldest child in my family, I learned to take on the responsibility of caring for others, setting my own needs aside. My father often rewarded me with fast food. In college, isolated from family, I walked a mile every night to restaurants seeking comfort. Even as I climbed the corporate ladder, I felt inadequate and continued using food to manage my anxiety. After my father's death, I put my mother first. For over a decade, I cared for her while frequenting every drive-thru near her assisted living facility. My adult life may have looked successful from the outside, but I continued struggling privately, and I used food to cope. After years of trying to manage on my own and reaching 224 pounds, I found Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) and heard my own story reflected back to me. What I discovered wasn’t a failure of willpower, but an addiction that required help beyond myself. Through sponsorship, meetings, and the Twelve Steps, my obsession with food lifted, and the excess weight disappeared. Now, passing my 14th anniversary in FA, life still brings challenges, but I have a roadmap for navigating them. The structure of FA has given me more freedom than I ever had when eating whatever I wanted. One day at a time, I live in gratitude, thankful I accepted the opportunity to live in recovery rather than remain stuck in addiction.