131: Dr. Liz Werly — What an Army Psychologist for Special Ops Teaches About High Performance and Emotional Intelligence

How do the best military leaders go from operating at an already elite level… to an even higher level under pressure? In this episode, Army psychologist Dr. Liz Werly (who works directly with some of the U.S. military's most elite units) breaks down the exact framework she uses to help high performers: build accurate self-awareness using gold-standard assessments, "engineer" their personality to fit the context (calm under fire and present at home), develop emotional intelligence as the differentiator once IQ and talent are in place, and translate values into visible daily behaviors that protect what matters most. We also dig into groundedness and intentionality as core high-performance habits, the basics that leaders ignore at their own risk (sleep, rhythm, connection), and how generational shifts and resiliency trends are reshaping today's force and workplaces. In this episode, you'll learn: How Dr. Werly assesses elite leaders (IQ, Big Five, emotional measures) and turns data into a growth plan Why emotional intelligence becomes more important than raw intellect at higher levels of leadership A simple values → beliefs → behaviors framework (including the "20-minute Lego" example) How to recognize when your strengths (e.g., robotic under pressure) become liabilities at home or with your team Practical tools for grounding, bandwidth management, and emotional "dialing" What leaders need to understand about younger generations, resiliency, and expectations If you're already a high performer and want to become a more grounded, self-aware, and sustainable leader, this conversation is for you. Mentioned in this episode: Connect with Dr. Liz Werly on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-h-werly-psy-d-b843b817/ Join the waitlist for the next Intentional Leader Lab cohort: intentionalleaderlab.com The views expressed in this episode are those of the participants and do not represent the official position of the U.S. Government or the U.S. Army. Chapters: 00:00 Intro – How elite leaders go from high to higher 00:33 Disclaimer + what this episode will cover 01:06 Welcome to The Intentional Leader Podcast + IL Lab mention 01:36 Meet Dr. Liz Werly & her work with elite military units 03:35 "If I walked into your office…" – her framework for high performers 05:19 Patterns, personality, and "engineering" your strengths 07:42 Robotic under pressure, distant at home – dialing traits up/down 09:20 Big Five, gold-standard assessments & why cheap tests fall short 11:24 Why tests need interpretation, not labels 13:18 How leaders react when they see their data 16:50 Values-based goals & Acceptance and Commitment mindset 18:58 IQ vs personality vs EQ – what you can actually change 21:00 The four pillars of emotional intelligence (Liz's breakdown) 24:25 Why EQ is the edge once IQ is "good enough" 24:50 Groundedness & intentionality as #1 performance levers 26:44 Designing your "ideal day" for this season of life 29:04 Sleep, basics, and whole-person performance 29:50 Values → beliefs → behaviors (the 20-minute Lego example) 32:36 When values collide (deployments, travel, guilt & shame) 34:44 Emotions as information vs letting emotions drive decisions 36:30 Generational friction & why it's an emotional intelligence issue 39:25 Tech, expectations, and how younger leaders are different 41:06 Resiliency, safety culture, and maturity gaps 43:18 Recruiting, mental health, and opportunity in today's force 45:00 Where to connect with Liz + her final advice to leaders 46:24 Outro – 5 practical challenges: grounding, values, bandwidth, dialing, feedback