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See your Jeep dealer for details. Hello, and welcome to Retrospection. In this episode, we're swinging on a star, carrying moon beams in a jar. And maybe after seeing this film, we'll be thinking we were better off than we are.
We're watching the action comedy, Hudson Heart from 1991. My name's Colin, and I'll talk to you so slowly. You'll think it's a career. I can take it.
I've been tortured once every three weeks, and I'll be interviewing to think it's a career. I've no idea what you're talking about. My name's Paul, and I didn't want to do it. Well, I wanted it was a cappuccino.
That's been your excuse for years. I don't actually drink coffee. You do? I do actually, yes.
I'm lying. Wow. I mean, I don't think it's a little, first of all, what a weird lie to do. Second of all, how easy was it to break you?
Imagine if you've been in World War II, as a resistance leader, the Germans are car, you know? And you'd be like, I don't drink cappuccinos. Oh, yes, you do. You're right.
I do. I'm sorry. They're all in the hit and in the stalls. It's a good job.
I was in the great escape, isn't it? Oh, no. Are you in that low, along? But the Monad, with the big movies, over there.
Right over there. I'll see you in the next episode. What I mean was, I don't drink it a lot, but I do drink it. Yeah, which is the opposite.
Not drinking it. Exactly. All right. Hudson Arts stars Bruce Willis as Hudson Hawk.
Danny Ayello as Tommy Five Tone, Andy McDonald as Anna Barat Lough G or Baratley, depending which character decides to use her last name? Oh, Braggley, I think he's also used at one point. I think I refer to him mostly in my notes as Andy McDonald, because I could not remember what I know. He was all the way through this movie.
Shocking. Shocking. James Cobon as George Kaplan. Do we know what that name's from?
Go on. It's the name of the fictional Secret Service agent in the film, North by North West. That's the one that Kerry Grant is always mistaken for in the film. Ah, excellent, yeah.
Richard E. Grant as Derwin Mayflower, Sandra Bernhard as a Minerva Mayflower and David Caruso as Kit Kat. There's a few other people who are going to do the whole cast list because you can IMDB it. I forgot the amount of people that were in this movie.
I haven't seen this for a long time. I completely forgot that David Caruso was in it for a start. Oh, you did? Yeah.
I mean, he doesn't have much of a role. So, you know, no. No. And he doesn't really have any lines.
It's a very early role for him, though. We hadn't done NYPD Blit this point. No, I think he'd been in First Blood, which was a few years before this. I totally forgot that he was in First Blood.
Yes, he's the carpenter. He's one of the ones that doesn't really enjoy what they're doing to him at the beginning. He kind of stands out for him a little bit. Oh, I know that feeling.
LAUGH Oh, you're the young guy that stands out for, is that what you are? That's right. That's right. Yeah.
So, is this directed by Michael Lehman? Yeah, he directed... Lemon? He directed Heathers.
But since then, it's been a lot of, I suppose you call it, high quality TV, things like American Horror Story, Heels, and the Terra, which I thought was quite good. The first season, anyway, I enjoyed it. Didn't finish the first season. I totally intend to go back to it and finish it at some point.
I'll probably start again. But yes, we'll talk about him, I guess, later on, in the first direction, style. Also, like, how much did he direct? There is that.
We'll talk about that, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Sorry, it itself was written by Bruce Willis, Robert Kraft, and Steven Eder-Souza. Yeah, isn't it his first, first and only screenwriting credit, is it for Bruce Willis?
Yes, yes. But when you say you wrote it, I think it's more of the case that he kept coming up with ideas that they kept tacking up. I think it's the original idea of Hudson Hart as well. Yeah, it was him and Robert Kraft as he said, wasn't it?
That came up with him. Screenplays by Daniel Waters. Mm-hmm. Talk about him in a minute.
OK. It's produced by Joel Silver. He's got that Joel Silver Machine to it, hasn't it? Yeah, is that what you call it?
The Joel Silver Machine? So, as good as anything. There is a style. There is a style to it, Joel Silver.
But he's moving over there, isn't there? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, that is quite fitting.
Choose a subject. No, that was fitting. And it screams 90s. Oh, definitely.
His style. And even as you say, Michael Caimans involved in the music as well. So, it's got that feel to it that all those kind of films have as well. Yeah.
I'm not sure that a lot of these styles fit together as well as they should. Mm, all right. Interesting. So, where do we start with the background on this?
I don't know, Colin. Where do we start? Well, we should point out that Richard G. Grant isn't a big fan of this film.
Are you in? I've read the quote from what he said to Mark Comeout. I've read the quote. I've also read his piece and his memoir with nails as well about the making of this film.
Yeah, there's a whole chapter devoted to the making of this film, isn't there? There is, yeah. Yeah. He doesn't speak happily about it.
No, didn't he say that the reason, one of the reasons why him and Sandra Bernard, that's her name, isn't it? Yes. One of the reasons why they got on so well during this film is because quite early on they realized what a train record was turning into. So, they kind of bonded over a little bit.
Yeah. There is a blog called MoneyIntoLight.com where Paul Rowland's role one, I think his name is, he interviews people and he interviews Daniel Waters about this film. And it's actually a long piece where he talks about it. And one of the things he says though about Richard G.
Grant's a Sandra Bernard, he says they carried the villainy a little too much off screen. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah.
So, I was interested to hear something else about it. But he also says he said to know we were in trouble when in D.A.L. was Joel and Bruce would say, you know what this is? This is a pink panther movie.
And the next day they'd say, you know what this is? This is an American James Bond movie. And another day they'd say, you know what this is? This is a flint movie.
Let's get James Coburn in the movie. So basically Bruce was awake up every day and have a different idea and a different kind of movie that he wanted to make. And that's what they were doing that day. Yeah.
And we did this other quote. I could tell Bruce was invested in the character. I liked taking him all down to Earth Guy and putting him in a crazy environment. Bruce would have all these little ideas and I would have to work them in.
First, Bruce wanted to have a pet monkey who finally gets to see again after he gets out of prison. We realized it was going to be too time intensive having to deal with a monkey. So, I thought, what if the monkey was killed while he was in prison and it gives him something else to be angry about? We had someone putting out a hit on the monkey who was named Little Eddy.
There was a newspaper headline of the mafia shooting the monkey. The movie at one point was even more nuts than it is now if you can believe that. So, Hudson thinks it's the mafia that killed him. And if you watch the movie, in one scene James Coburn admits he killed Little Eddy.
When Coburn dies in the movie, falls on top of the limousine as it goes over the cliff. If you look at his face, there's a picture of a monkey on his forehead. That's because in the fight scene that led to it, Bruce Willis had slapped a picture of Little Eddy on his forehead and said, say hello to Little Eddy motherfucker and then thrown him off the cliff. We filmed all these little things that made up this relentlessly-running story about Little Eddy being killed.
Originally, Bruce is excited to meet Little Eddy, but after Danny Iyell will pick him up from prison, Danny has to break the news to him. By the way, Little Eddy is dead. I wonder why they cut that out now, Alan? I don't know.
Because as ideas go, it's no more strange than somebody else's talk that's in this movie. It's in this movie, you might as well have left it in. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah.
Just chucked it all in. Chucked it all in and just let it go. All that. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, gone crazy. Well, the quote that Richie Grant said to, well the thing that he said to Mark and Mark and Mark showed, he showed, confessed to him one day that he actually kind of enjoyed this film, was that Richie Grant said it was a stinking pile of steaming hot donkey droppings and then he went on and called Commoden Idiot for liking it. There you go. But I think this film has been reassessed over time.
I think Mark people started to appreciate it. Yeah, I mean, I guess we'll talk about this at the end when we sum it all up. But I don't understand why this movie wasn't a hit. But we'll go into it, I imagine.
Yeah, imagine we will. Danny Iyellow, he was cast specifically by Bruce Willis because the two of them had known each other for you. I said they were friends before you were one of them like made it. Yes.
So it seems like Bruce Willis is a guy that looks after his friends. Isabella Rossellini was the original choice for the role of Anna, but she had to leave because of scheduling issues. Oh, that's a shame. I do kind of think that Andy McDowell is the weakest part of this movie, wouldn't you say?
Yeah, I think so too. She's also kind of irritating when she's on screen. Oh, steady though. Just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just when she's on screen.
Not her character. Her character is kind of irritating. Right. Okay.
You talk about the film not doing well. Apparently this was marketed as an action movie rather than a comic book. You would have think, rather than a comic book. Yeah.
Yeah, it should have been a comedy. I guess they were going for a die-hard. Yeah, playing into that kind of theme. Yeah.
But, I mean, I imagine it's hard to figure out how to advertise this film. I mean, it's not like Bruce Willis is not known for comedy though, is it? I mean, he did how many seasons of Moonlight? That's true, very enough.
Blind date? Yeah. You know, he's done a lot of comedy and he's good at comedy. I mean, I mean, not everyone likes Blind Date, but I like it.
Yep, so do I. So do I. He's good at the Snappy One-liners as well. Yep.
So again, I don't get why this movie didn't work for people. I think from what I read from the writer, his opinion was that the people that hate it, hate it for the same things that the people who love it. The wackiness and all the crazy ideas that are thrown together. Yeah.
In many ways, you know, and there's a lot of moments in this film that I'm going to mention that it reminds me of it, but in many ways this is kind of a carry-on movie, isn't it? Yeah. But there's a scene, well, in the beginning, I think it's more like a Dean Mertin, Sammy Davis Jr. Yeah, it's a lot of things.
It's a cosplay movie, isn't it? Whoa, back away. It's a cosplay and hope movie as well. Yeah, well, like Dean Mertin and Sammy Davis Jr.
They did these films set in London where they were a casino, no, nightclub owners, but they end up being involved in a crime and things. And it kind of has that feel to it. Yeah, it's got a lot of different touches, a lot of different things, but there's little jokes in there that wouldn't look at a place and carry on movie as well. Yeah.
So, you're not going to cast it? No, no, we can't. We're not doing that. We're not doing that.
So, talking about how this film did, then, I suppose we should say the budget for this was 65 million. Which is a lot at the time. Yeah. And the box office taking were 97 million, so it made a bit of a profit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I imagine it did eventually on video rentals and things like that. Just us. Just us.
The budget did balloon because the ending, not the ending, but the scenes in it that were cut out that they couldn't film. There's supposed to be a big scene that ended up being just inside Andy McDowell's hotel room instead. And you know that bit where James Coburn goes in and says we did this house. Yeah.
They actually were supposed to see that. Oh, I see, right. Okay. Yeah, because you don't see it.
You don't see it in the movie. No, no, it's in the script and then Joel was like, oh, we just can't find that. Yeah. I wonder whether 65 million is a conservative estimate of what it cost and maybe it was, and that's why it's considered a bottom because it really cost more than that.
Probably. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Did you know Richard Grant was offered the part of the show for Nottingham and Kevin Costland's Robin Hood movie and he had to back out of it because he was scheduled to do reshoots for Hudson Hawk.
I bet he was absolutely gutted. Yes, I can imagine. But you know, we got Alan Rickman. I was going to say you can't imagine that movie without Alan Rickman, can you?
No. No, he's one of the good things in it. Yeah. I can imagine Richard Grant doing it, but Alan Rickman seems bigger.
Yeah. Yeah. If Richard E. Grant was standing up against Kevin Costland, Kevin Costland just wiped the flow.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's an imposing figure, isn't he?
Richard E. Grant would be the second in command to the Sheriff of Nottingham. Yeah. That's kind of like a Weasley guy that thinks he should be either what he is, but really he's not.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
That sounds familiar to you, Paul. No idea what you're talking about. Okay. All right.
Let's get into the film. Okay. So it's nice to see the good old Tristair horse. Yeah, I missed that.
I missed that logo. Yeah. Go on. Like everything else it is in life.
Oh, dear. Took a dark turn suddenly. They take everything away from you eventually. Do they?
Do you want to talk about? No, really no. No, no, no. You're not a therapist.
That's right. You'll pay me enough. You're not paying it at all, Colin. Not anymore.
That's right. That's right. You've got to have a fairy tale opening because it's one of those with the books turning the pages. Yeah.
It reminded me of the Princess Bride. Yes. Yeah, I could see that. Fatine 81, Leonardo da Vinci, created a machine that converts common light into bronze.
Oh, no. Create gold. Yeah. This whole opening bit with the, especially the line about the guy in the donkey is just a guy in the donkey.
It felt very Mel Brooks to me, this. I recently watched them blazing saddle. So maybe that was some fresh in my mind, but it's. Hey, baby.
It just felt like something that you would find in a Mel Brooks movie. Yes. Yeah. This 15th century open.
It looks pretty good. It looks brilliant. The Vinci's workshop looks great. And that machine, that's a great practical effect.
I mean, they did that now. It'd just be CGI, wouldn't it? Let's face it. Yes, it was.
But they actually built that. Just a room full of people in green screen covered in tennis balls. Mm-hmm. And it's all that, necessarily lit in the smoke everywhere.
There is kind of a lot in the background of like, Mamma Mia's going on and all that. Really? But, you know. We are in Italy.
All right. Okay, I'll let it go. Have you been? Are you saying that if I went to Italy, I'd hear a lot of Mamma mias and...
I'm saying you haven't been to Italy, so you don't know there isn't a lot. All right. Okay. I'll take your point.
All right. Okay. But yes, it looks great. It looks amazing.
Yeah. Yeah. So, so Leonardo decides, oh, I've invented this machine that makes gold, but that's going to screw things up. So I'm going to hide these three parts of the machine in three different models and objects that I've made, right?
He does. He does. And... Okay.
And then we get a nice Mona Lisa gag, don't we? We do. She's got terrible choppers. Oh, we're talking about carry on.
That Mona Lisa gag though, where she smiles on her teeth a bit. And then he kind of goes, that's one of those carry on gags that I was talking about. That would have been nicely into a historical carry on moving. Yeah.
Yeah. What? Yeah. And then he fasts his poorer princess to try out his flying machine.
Do you think his guy's just an intern? I mean, you've put your interns three worse, haven't you? No. Yeah.
I remember that time he tried to make one bungee jump. I wonder where you were going with that then. Uh. I'm just going to list the clean version.
No, no one's done. I got my watch, but that way. All right. Right.
So far. So far. Yes. Yeah.
There's a giant asterisk at the end of that sentence. Keep a good big, nice, big wad handy to pay them off. Don't look at me like that. Oh, I didn't know what he was going to say.
First off, I was going to say you keep a watch over him, and that's just weird. That's creepy. Yeah. This is getting dangerously close to something that could be used against me in the future.
So I have to be better stuck talking. I'm hoping so. All right. Where are we up to?
Oh, yes. The intern. We've pretty much done all the in-addled stuff. So we're going to switch to modern time, contemporary time.
First thing I want to say, how cool his breeze will is in this movie. Even in this just opening scene. He just drips cool, doesn't he? Really?
All right. He is. You know he is. You know he's so cool in this movie.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But he's a long coat that doesn't fit him.
He doesn't fit him, though. I think that's a style, right? I think so. Yes.
And I think he's supposed to show off his fit to body that he's not. Very short legs. No, he's fit to body. He's obviously working out for this movie, isn't he?
Well, I assume he's worked out for Die Hard. Yeah, he's close to this. It's been a couple of years between us. Yeah.
He's still got her. That's real in this movie. Yeah. Just about right.
Yeah. He's about the same amount of her higher at the time as well. At the time. Oh, dreaming a little bit.
But I. So yes, so he's leaving Sing Sing. The prison. His parole officer wants him to commit crimes.
You know, so he can cut him in, right? So he's trying to go on the straight and narrow, right? But he can. Did you see, um, there was a weird bit where, with the parole officer when he's walking away from him, and he leans through the bars and he says to him, do it yourself.
But it's clearly an overdub, isn't it? Because the words don't fit with the mouth. I'm wondering whether the original line was a little bit more offensive. I bet it was.
Yeah. Maybe it dubbed it down for a better rate. Yeah. Or maybe they just thought we don't want him to come across that way so soon in the movie.
You don't want to make, we want to soften him a bit. We don't want to make him seem like he's a hard ass or something like that. Yeah. Right.
Yep. Yep. I can see that definitely. Tommy picks him up.
He's annoyed about parole officer trying to get any involved in a crime. And then we get this whole thing about that he's been in prison a long time, so he doesn't know what Nintendo is, but he's obsessed with Capitunos. Yeah. There's a lot of Nintendo jokes in this movie.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't have a problem with that. You saw the computer, not me.
No, no, no. I think sometimes he's a little bit jarring. Is it the fact, what is it? Is it words or is it the amount?
I think sometimes it just seems a little bit hard. You know, a little bit harsh in the sort of very wacky and light tone the movie's got. You know, and suddenly you've got someone saying, you mother of a guy, you know, it's like, whoa, all right. Settle down.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I can see that.
I can see that. I was thinking of first maybe it's a situation like where you watch Ghostbusters for the first time, the original, not the TV version. You suddenly realize how much swearing isn't that. But nobody uses the mother word in Ghostbusters.
Yeah. Yeah. So it's a little bit like that, but ramped up. Yes.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's fine. I'm not, it doesn't spoil the movie for me.
Just wait, were you sitting there in 91 in the cinema going, this is just too much for me. I can't take this. Well, you know, I'm sensitive. You're very sensitive.
Very sensitive. Yes. I'll be to the touch. Sorry, what?
Nothing. So he goes back to this place to get a cappuccino. Doesn't he want to play school? I can't remember to tell me.
So it's a cafe, isn't it? Well, originally it was a bear that they co-owned, that Eddie and Tommy co-owned, and now it's been turned into a yuppie up-market cafe. That's right. And he's not happy with the changes that he's made, is he?
Who would be? Would be. It's like turning the Queen Vic into a bistra. I suppose, yes.
All right. I wonder where we're going. You imagine Frank? Ah, blimey.
What's going on here? You know, me, be on that. Pea, honey. For all serving, mate.
Coffee's. That's what he talked, isn't it? Who's that? You're all that, didn't they?
They're all that they want. I didn't know Motley was any stenders. Does he want a medal? Does he want another medal?
He does. Does he want a medal, don't you? That's how late? Where are you going to pin that medal?
That's what I want to know. Look, there's a lot of vowels being used in East Enders. There's no birds in East Enders. We're talking about owls for all of us all.
Owls, vowels. Vowels. Oh, you got all the very animals. 89.
Oh wait, oh wait, oh, that's it. Oh, are we playing camp, damn it. I'll take a concert at please. Pea, oh, and a now.
Doo-doo. What are we on about? Oh yes. Oh, right.
And at the place we meet Frank Stallone is one of the Mario brothers, so there's another Nintendo gag. Yes, now this is a thing. Frank Stallone, right? Yeah.
No. Was he an actor? I mean, he was a singer. He's not considered an actor.
I don't know. He's in movies. He has been in movies. He has been in movies.
Oh, right. Okay. He's all right though. I mean, it's a quick scene, so he's not going to really screw it up, but he's all right.
Yeah, he's fine for what he's supposed to be. He's supposed to be playing an Italian mafioso, so you know, he can pull that off. Yeah, he does. He does.
He does. He does. Cesar Mario wants Eddie to do the crime, the same crime that his parole officer wanted him to do. Something fishy.
So they're all in it together. Something fishy going on. Is that? Yes.
You got to smell it. That must be me. No, not for me. Yeah, actually.
Yeah. So they don't want to do it, but he's going to end up doing it and because he's being fast to do it. And we learn later that Eddie knows the running times of every song. Yeah, so when we get to the house, they time their escapade by singing songs, don't they?
Yeah. He's got to do it. At this point, we learn that you can do this. And how would you prove him wrong?
I think that's the gag, isn't it? Because it doesn't tell me to say to him, thank you for the shit. Yeah. He reminded me of some of that.
Again, I don't know what you're talking about, Colin. No. OK. Right.
It's a great idea, though. To time the paper with a song. Great idea. Eddie Cochran, two minutes, 13 seconds.
You wouldn't know that. What'd you? I just made it up. I would believe you as well.
I don't even think that's not even a song, Colin. Colin, you really. You spin me wrong round. Oh, three minutes, 23.
Oh, I did. We're having the time of our lives, right? Five minutes, 15. Remix version.
You know how I could keep this going. Two minutes, 13. This is the end, no. It's got to be.
Yeah, two minutes, 11 seconds. I think you'll find the end about six minutes and 14 seconds, Colin. Oh, is that? I don't know.
I can be making it up. I am. Who knows? I can do as well.
Pull what? 15 seconds. Usually. Usually.
Yeah. These days. I just realized I said your full name, but it still sounded like I was making the sexual joke. Paul would.
I know. Yeah. I just realized, you know, because they don't usually use a full name. I just realized I said it.
I think that's the first time that we've, any of us have ever used our full user. I know. Do you really want to reveal who you are? I'm out there, Colin.
I'm out there, I'm out. I'm proud. All right. That I did know.
Probably before you were out and proud. Thank you. Yes. It's a level of trust, Colin.
You know. Yeah. I think my wife was just this. No, even she's got better sense.
Yeah. That's true. That's true, actually. Well, she married me.
Oh, yeah. You're right. Forget it. I was wrong.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shall we leave out there then?
Yeah. Let's do that. Might even be on the cutting floor. You know, we'll see.
We'll see. Yeah. Good luck picking bits out of that. So they do do the robbery.
They do. It's all very cartoonish, isn't it? Oh, extremely. What's that sure that the fat security guard sits on?
And I use the word fat, even though I'm not supposed to, but I'm using the word fat because that's part of the joke. Yeah. Yeah. There is a lot of fat shaming jokes, but I'll let it go.
Okay. I'm not happy about it. I'm not. No.
No, no, no. Taking it personally. No, no, no. That's a weird place to put that blue shirt.
Just in the middle of nowhere. In front of paintings. At first, I thought that shirt was an actual object that was being presented. I thought it was an art piece.
Like something yoke I would do. Yeah. I'd show a blue and hang an apple from the ceiling, that kind of thing. Yeah.
That kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
No, it is a bit weird. I'm also not sure about the, if we talk about inappropriate jokes in this movie, I'm not sure about the one numbers gag that the other two security guards are doing. I mean, it's a terrible joke. And it's already like a joke that must have been, what, 30 years old?
Yeah. And don't they even emphasize the joke by afterwards doing the... Yeah. That's a weird.
Yeah. It's a strange moment. Yeah. Well, like, no, that.
But the whole highest thing, the way they do it, is an inspired idea, isn't it? Yeah. So they, and it's good. Bands up between our two leads, when they're trying to get across about their weight, for example.
I like the bit where he's like, he looks, he just looks at his stomach and he has to increase the size of the hole that he's making into glass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Like that. The banter itself as well is, it is very, being cross-beat Bob Hope, isn't it? Yes. Yes.
Do you mind me, David Stunio? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
We're going to do this throughout the whole thing. You're going to say, you can have your D-Martins and your Samis and have my hope in Crosby. I must remember to say Crosby. Yes.
Not Cosby. No, we don't. No. No.
No. Although we should do one of these films. Which, all right, Colleen, which one would you do? Ghost Dad?
I'm from London. No. I do the, I do the cup film that he did. I've got it.
I'm Blu-ray. Wow. You mean, I want to say that? I like it on the podcast, aren't I?
Yeah. Well, I mean, I've seen this is getting caught. No. Just saying.
What's it called? I don't know. You own it. I had a beer and I can't remember titles.
Titles disappear when I have beer. Call it the big, the big, the big Cosby. I mix them together now. The Bill Cosby, cut movie.
People will tell us or not. No, I'm not having this in. No, you're cutting this. If I can't remember the film, I'm not having any.
Stop on my Cosby will shoot. Is it that? Or... Kindergarten.
Just making stuff. Kindergarten Cosby. Why are you naming just the lon and... I don't know.