Real good, to real good, to real good. Real good, real good, real good, real good, real good, real good, real good real good, real good. Real good, real good, real good. Real good, real good, real good.
Real good, real good, real good. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another edition of America's Best Worst Canadian Sports podcast. That's right, Real Good Show is back at it again for another week. It is episode number 132, an episode that has been recorded on President's Day in the States, Family Day from Most of Canada, we talked about family day last week.
Yeah, nothing for us. because it was BC's family day when we were recording last week. But my name is Justin Morrison with me as always is. Stefan Heck.
John Cullen. Stefan, are you okay there, buddy? I mean, look, I'm president's day, 9.43 PM. Basically, even streaming video games with Jesse and Rob and our friend Chris James among a multitude of guests on the Go Off Kings Twitch stream for over 12 hours.
So I don't know how much I have to offer here. All right, everyone knows. Pretty trained. Playing video games is notoriously strenuous.
That's really all now. Well, it is for 12 hours if you have to talk about it. I guess that is true. And also, you have to.
And we also played the game where you have to diffuse the bomb and stuff. And there's a lot of like mental. That's mentally taxing. It's true.
It's true. Yeah, we have to be on the whole time. I mean, I wasn't. But you know.
You feel like it went well overall? Not last week when we talked, you said that this was not going to be for charity. I mean, it was going to be for charity because you are yourself a charity case. But in the end.
Yeah, so we were looking for like anti-gun violence charities, but they all kind of suck ass. They're all run by Michael Bloomberg. So we went with a mental illness charity called The National Alliance on Mental Illness. And we ended up raising like $3,100.
Wow. So that's outstanding. So you're saying it's more of a mental health issue than a gun issue, is that with the stand your stream took? I mean, you have to watch the full 12 hours to find out.
Now we accounted for the fact that you would be so low energy, Stefan, by bringing in a bit of a ringer here. Yes. He's I would say probably our most energetic guest. One of the most beloved guests in history of the show.
Oh, certainly that is true. Not just of the show in the history of the world. Yes, exactly. And according to our listeners, anyways.
Yes. And our waller show is the only one that matters. And he is here with us now. And he is just chomping at the bit to get going.
Give it up for Chris James. Yeah. Everyone thinks Chris James, they think high energy. They think of Chris.
I mean, I do think of high energy. I would go. Yeah, I just love that. We're like, could we throw to Chris?
He's like, hey, what's up, guys? Hey, hey, great to be back on Reel to show. Watch my show, not even a show. Thanks, guys.
You look like my YouTube. Yeah, just thanks for having me on the show, guys. It is actually though. It is returning guests.
Ryan, William Williams. Hey, what's up, everybody? What's up, everybody? What's up, people?
Let's play basketball. I'm able to do it today. I love playing basketball. Oh, fuck.
Hell yeah. Yeah, it is the Olympics. It's winter. It's fucking cold out there.
It's probably not too cold down in LA at this time of year, though, is it? It's actually been cold enough where I need a light jacket. I guess you haven't left the house all day, so you wouldn't know. Well, no, I went outside.
It was kind of windy at one point. But I was like, I'm around a balcony. And sometimes it's just like a wind tunnel. It's like between two buildings.
So I can't judge what the weather was actually like. But I am so tired right now. Yeah, no. Yeah, I know.
I noticed. But we, of course, we recorded a big hockey talk episode yesterday with Justin Borne. We did. And if you want to hear Steph and get all riled up, so riled up that his phone connection just can't handle how angry he is.
It exploded. You can head on over to Patreon.com to let you know. And enjoy that. But I don't know.
And Justin, Justin, you should know that a friend of ours, a friend of the show, Greg, we guy 420 Boner, said he really enjoyed the bonus episode. And he's not a conoxed minister. He just likes when people talk about sports and kind of like reason things out and reach like a conclusion that makes sense, which you never get on sports radio. So he appreciated it.
Oh, that's nice feedback. Yeah, I feel like Justin Borne is just a great guest for that. I feel like he's a very level headed, very smart guy. And also, I think it helped that Steph and you had time.
You had a refractory period after the deal where you could kind of let it sink in a little bit. Yeah, because I think people were super mad that we recorded before the extension was inked last week. So technically, the extension was announced like an hour before we posted the show. So I don't know how anyone could have expected that we would be talking about that on the show.
You know? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think it's going to be a bit more. What's going on?
This is a really bad question on my friend. OK. Yeah, sounds like you're not the only one with low energy here, Steph. Yeah, I personally love questions that go in circles.
Those are my favorite questions. They're all their own circular questions. I try to do the opposite of what Greg enjoyed about the bones. I can make it as convoluted as possible.
Exactly. Speaking of low energy, when Trump would call Ted Cruz low energy, was he like kind of hinting that he was impotent? I always see that on the internet. Or like I did see that on the internet.
I've never heard that. I'd be part of it because Ted Cruz is like this very limp. Yeah, it kind of seemed like an impotence joke. Yeah, probably.
I mean, all the shit was like, your dad killed JFK. No, I didn't. When your wife was bunk as hell and like, I don't know. Oh, that was much more explicit.
So I think if he meant that, he would have just said that. Now I just realized there was Jeb Bushy called low energy. But Jeb Bush is for sure impotent. Yeah, please gladly.
Yeah. After every time he gets an erection with his wife, he tells her, please clap. Clap for me, baby. What, what, Stefan, what was your favorite moment of the stream today?
Yeah, what was the best game? I mean, probably the bomb diffusing one. Oh, yeah. Because we saved a rate for the end, right?
Like, you saved it for 11 hours in. Wouldn't it be your scupidest? Yeah, it would be completely delirious. And so we all kind of took turns trying to fuse it.
So Jesse had the bomb in front of him the whole time. And I helped him a couple of times. And Rob helped him a couple of times. And Felix helped him.
And then Chris tried to help him. And Chris was like so high. Because he just was like, he'd been, Chris was on for the entire fucking stream. Was he?
Yeah, Chris was hung out with us for 12 hours. It was it rocked. It's almost like Chris. It's almost like Chris.
And so by the time it came to, you know, it was his chance to diffuse the bomb, he just like, he's like, I don't know what any of this stuff means. He's like trying to read the instruction. He's like, I don't, this is a different language to me. I'm surprised he didn't have a job to head off to.
I'm not. Well, all the talk radio shows were off today. So we couldn't call them. Well, actually you did call Jim Lockwood live on the stream.
Oh shit. Is Jim Lockwood out of the hospital and he's back? Yeah, he's back now. He was a nice conversation.
He was hospitalized? Yeah. I'm walking into a door or something. I saw it probably fell on him, but that's what Chris's theory either is or isn't.
I forget, but that was the joke. All right. That's, yeah, there's a lot going on in the James household. Yeah.
No, I don't think Chris has ever had an actual job to be honest with you. I'm pretty sure like even when he's a teenager, I don't think he ever had a job. No, he worked. He used to work in a lot of factories and stuff.
Well, he has that joke about it, but I don't know that he actually did that. No, because he knew he knew stuff that was a little too on the nose for trades. Oh, because he had, he used to have a joke about a guy who would wear different boots like on each foot. Right.
That's like what true, like sign of an alcoholic that works in a warehouse. Right. That's the only kind of guy he knew like a lot of the alcoholic characters. Gotcha.
And also one time I told him I started a new job and a guy almost killed me at work. And we kind of thought what he did on purpose, but then it was probably because he was really drunk. And then he was like, why don't you call him out for being like drunk or hung over at work? And I was like, well, you start doing that.
People start and then he like finished my sentence. He's like, then people call you out for being hung over at work. I'm like only a true person that has experienced grimy trade workers would get that. I worked in a little known fact.
I worked in a warehouse for two summers. Well, where? Me, the, the, the, the prissy white boy. That's straight as narrow.
Yeah. That's me. I worked at my mom works for a freight forwarder on Anisis Island. And she's like, works in the office.
And so I worked in the warehouse hand bombing. That's all we did. We just pulled boxes out of shipping containers and put them on a semi trucks. They called me the professor.
Just because you knew how to read. Yeah. Exactly. That's literally exactly right.
Yeah. I don't know if I wore my glasses that often. That was probably back when I was wearing contour. I did it when I was 19 and 20.
OK. Yeah. Well, I told them I'm pretty young to be the professor. I told them I wanted to be a teacher.
And then they were like, oh, he's the professor. Look at fucking pukie house. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
No, well, and then it got twisted up. So it was actually, so I was the professor for like my first year. Then the second year I was there was the World Cup. It would have been 2010.
No, 2006. Yeah. Cause yeah, 2006 World Cup. And so we used to go for like extra long lunch breaks and we would just go to the Foreman's house and watch the World Cup.
And there was like five of us. And then there were these young guys. It was a particularly like slow part of the summer. So it wasn't like there was a ton of work to do anyway.
And then there were these other three young guys and they didn't come with us. And it was just because they didn't want to. They were invited, but they didn't like soccer. And then one guy one day just like had a spazz and he was like, why, you guys leave for like two fucking hours and you make us do all the work when you're gone and what the fuck?
And you take John with you and he only works here in the summer and whatever. And then, and then he's like, why do you take John with him? And then the foreman just looked at me was like, cause John's special. And so then the guy was like, just fucking lost his mind.
And then my nickname became Johnny special. So then I was Johnny special for the last couple of months. I worked there. That's much better than the professor.
Yeah. I like Johnny special. It's like a very prestigious thing to like achieve a PhD and be a respected person's society in their world. It's actually a slur.
Yeah. I'm on a professor. Oh, it was definitely a slur. It was for sure a slur, except for the like two guys who were like also legitimately smart that liked me.
And then I also worked with a guy who at the time was like the second biggest coke dealer in Richmond. And he would just show actually Chris James knows it. You know, it's a lot of information about him. And it was really funny because he just like told me all about coke dealing.
And I thought it was pretty fascinating. And he also liked to sing John Legend. So we'd like sing John Legend of the back of the trucks. And I'm like, oh man, this guy's like probably done murder.
And me and him would just be the back of the truck like, all of me loves all of you. But yeah, he's out of the game now. He's a I haven't seen the game. He got shot in the face.
Yeah. When it comes to getting shot, they got all of it out of the game of life. That professor, they just arrived at me of the story when my friend told me is he was waiting to take the bus like on K corner of Maine and Hastings. And it was one of those construct which your lesson is probably your Yeah.
If you're not from Vancouver, Maine and Hastings is like imagine the worst intersection in your town and it's worse than that. It's the free zone from the wire. Basically is what it is. Nice.
And there is some one of those paper signs on the bus stops being like, Oh, this is to go to a different spot on this day. The bus doesn't stop here. And he said he was watching this guy go up and read it. And this drunk man who you could see the urine stain or like on his pants.
He just goes, tell us what the sign said. I'm stuck. But like him reading his line just pissed that guy up. I haven't thought about that in years until he said that the professor think like that he thought that was what he read and signed for.
That's so funny. Oh, college boy fucking right. Well, the other the other guy that we the other guy I really liked there was we called him Silent Bob. I can't even remember what his I think his first name was Nick, but they just called him Silent Bob because he was like didn't talk that much.
Or lunch coats all the time. Yeah. And it's yeah. And it's a talk that was only about like looking his wife's asshole.
Exactly. Yeah. Well, he called it a brown obviously brown area. Exactly.
But he was he had gotten in so many car accidents. He's only like 18. We had gotten in so many car accidents as car insurance is like $4,500 a year. And we just like they just were merciless.
Like they would steal his keys at work and be like, you can't drive home. Like you shouldn't be driving home. And that's what he was working there to save up to buy car insurance because it was so expensive. So he was one of my favorite characters that worked there as well.
Stefan, I feel like your head is like tilting backwards. It is. I may have to call it quits on this. It's fully understandable.
You've produced enough content for the world to enjoy on this day. I feel like. Thank you. Well, off the hookers once.
Have fun everyone. If there's any really bad questions in the top three, please make one of them for me. Yes, we will. Your one good thing is to watch the stream.
Yeah, go check out the. It looks like you're dreaming with your eyes open right now. And still feels like. I don't know.
Yeah. OK, I will see you guys around. Yeah, we'll see you around, bud. Do you want to say what I was going to say?
No, no, I guess I can just do that. That's like, like, I know I liked it. What what you got to work tomorrow? Yeah.
Well, I have to work on stream again. What? Why? Yeah, it's stream Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.
Well, for 12 hours, but Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Yeah, we just we stream four days a week. What the fuck? Why did you do that?
Because it's great. It's fun. Jesus. Well, like 12 hours might be too much.
I have to do some research. But yeah, I think you need to watch back. And also just like right now, like it feels like too much. But you know, we'll see how I feel tomorrow.
Well, hey, best of luck with that. I might also just die. So yeah, were you were you? How did the gamer go today?
It's good. It leaves a bit of like a white residue. I also Jesse's mad at me because I put. I got a picture of him off my phone and then I put Saran wrap over it.
And then I splatted a bunch of gamer. You want it? I called it a gamer tribute. And but he's like really mad about it.
So it's really really funny, but it doesn't look like I mean, it looks like. Kind of course, of course. Well, we didn't think you're going to make an appearance at all. So thank you for being a true soldier in the name of gaming content and gaming and sports and love you boys.
And I will see you. His eyes are coming. I'm going to go to sleep now, I think. Enjoy the rest of the show.
Don't even don't even turn off the Google Hangout. Just fall asleep right here. Please like turn the lights up and yeah. Yeah.
I'm going to try and go to. Yeah, I guarantee you can fall asleep with the lights on this close on. Oh, I actually think. Well, I have to take my contact lenses out too.
So I got to take his contact lens and then get a sudden burst of energy. And you know what he's going to do before he goes. No, I legitimately don't think I have the energy. Well, All right.
Bye guys. See you later, bud. Good. I'm.
Yeah. Oh, fuck. That was great. Oh, man.
Thank God. We covered it. That guy. That was kind of weird though that he very like stated clearly like that he thinks it's just a mental health issue.
It's not a gun issue at all. That was so crazy. That's not what the kid the victims in Florida are saying. Yeah, it was great that he would go against that.
So aggressive. Well, I'll write for them to politicize them. I'm tragedy. So I think it was.
Yeah, I thought it was particularly interesting when he said and I quote all of the anti gun charities are bad. Yeah, that was a very telling quote. Oh, I think so all I can say is that I think I was made it on that beer, you know. Did the NRA buy him off that?
I think Paul Ryan cost like $4 million. I saw the picture of the beer on Twitter is like six pack of Corona and a pizza. Yeah. Well, we weren't going to do it for just the beer.
But then once the pizza showed up, he refuses to take money from the NRA. Yeah, but food and beverage. Yeah, that's fine. That's what was acceptable.
Like Rush Limbaugh though came out swinging this week against the kids. Did he? Yeah. Surprisingly.
Yes, that's really I really was waiting for who was going to be the first person right to be like these kids are fucking bullshit. But it was Rush Limbaugh. So if you had him in your pool, congratulations. I mean, it kind of makes the thing the logic is like they shouldn't be politicizing this tragedy.
But how long do you wait to politicize calling kids assholes? It's like, Hey, let's not let's just let the victims rest. I'm like disagree with me. Because he's such an angry opioid addict.
That's what always surprises me about him. He's like addicted to Oxes, but he's always so angry and full of hate. Yeah, that's just vanished for a little while though. So I feel like he needed this to re-raise his profile.
You know, what a cool. It's a true a true, cool, true, cool. What's wrong? Yeah, I, yeah, I think that as being someone who works with children all the time, I do think that that is a that's that's something that people say to you a lot.
Like they'll be like, Oh, I can't believe you work with kids, teenagers. Like they're all crazy. And so yeah, it's like it was only going to be a matter of time before some conservative was just like, well, I mean, they can't vote. Can we trust anything to say?
So yeah, but I for one, I just think it's awesome that all the kids are finally just like fucking just going for it's a fucking dope. Yeah. And I think the really moving part is like some of the speeches they've been giving are so moving because obviously they're other crisis actors and they've been getting I feel bad even having any amount of fun about this. Yeah, it's a horrific tragedy.
You have to, you know, I have a criminal record though. So I can't like cross the border. So America's a for America and India have the as foreign to me as and they're equally as foreign. Okay, America and India.
The only country is your band phone? Yeah, just those. India was more for like just cultural. Right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're a band for cultural. JZ take one P in the Taj Mahal. Yeah, they just lose their shit. Yeah.
Yeah, apparently. Yeah, yeah, you can worship the cows. You can't ride them though. So it's a very, but you know, you got to respect their culture.
Absolutely. Absolutely. Oh, that's good stuff. Well, do you want to hear?
I just said India because I was very tortured by some bad stuff that happens in India. They're there like so fake news is a thing everywhere, but they have a problem with the app. What's app? Okay, which is super popular as popular anywhere else in the world.
And like because all these talking just as we can see as anyone that has their parents or their friends, parents, friends on Facebook, like older people don't handle the internet. Well, except there it'll be like, they'll be like some kind of cultural and ethnic tensions between certain groups. And then someone in WhatsApp, because everything's encrypted. They'll just like send out these messages being like, so and so abducts and murders kids.
And then these mobs will come and just beat those people to death. And then the cops are like, no, that's not true at all. And they're like, oh shit. It happens like every couple of months in India.
They're just like swaddying via text, basically. Yeah, but it's it's not that like the people like it's just they're not getting the police to kill the people. They're killing the people themselves. But it's like a mob meant.
It's literally the death. So whenever you see like people like, oh, let's not have a mob mentality about actively investigating sexual assault. Like, no, there's places where there's still mob mentality. Well, where it's real.
Jesus. So yeah, what's up? Download now on Google Play. I'm trying to get you guys a new sponsor.
Really? We could use it honestly. Do you think they would like the copy on that? And what they would like?
We've been trying to get in with big app for a long time. If we could just tie in, you know, Indian gang mob murders as much as possible. Yeah. I yeah.
What's up is weird because I have like one person on WhatsApp that just I don't I'm not really like tight with them in life. But for some reason they just use WhatsApp and they'll just send me a drug dealer. Maybe they'll just send me like memes via WhatsApp. And I'm like this is not their name deal.
One of my hockey pools, the entire chat is through WhatsApp because I guess like one person in the pool does not have Facebook. So we all need to have what's that. Well, that's like my hockey pools on Slack. And then I tried to get my football pool on Slack and they were like, no, what's that for us?
And I was like, well, you guys are going, I don't have WhatsApp and I don't have like Snap Chatty. There I just like those are completely different things. I've got my core apps and I'm done. I don't need any more apps, you know, I feel like I keep trying to sell those core apps.
And I just don't want it across a certain threshold in my life as an adult where like no more apps. It's all good. I don't think that's true at all. I think if like, I don't know, if like CM Punk put out an app, you would get it tomorrow.
I don't know. What would that be? I have no idea. I'm not skipping UFC.
Yeah, that's the app. That's the name of the app. It's very unwieldy. It's a working title.
Yeah. It's really depressing. Try to get super into it when you're 38. That's the app.
Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, that's a yeah.
Those are two great titles. How to get your ass kicked in the UFC when you're 38. I can't get any apps on my phone because my phone. Yeah.
Phone, no, no, no, no, no, but it's a piece of garbage. You did have a flip phone relatively recently. No, people just assume that about me. I give off the persona as this guy's got a flip phone.
Because it is cheaper to buy the Alcatel one touches a $60 phone you get from Best Buy. But this is the LG. It's about one 10. So that's that's a much higher quality phone.
But the thing is, is like Google Play keeps Android keeps having to update. So eventually you just run out of room for other apps. So you have to like pick what apps mean more to you. And today, because I knew I was coming on this podcast, I haven't been listening to podcasts because I had to choose between Facebook messenger and my podcast app.
So today I deleted Messenger to have the podcast app. And that's why I had to call you, John, because you gave me your address in messenger, which is not on my phone. So I was like, I think I'm near your house. I was wondering why he says that.
You're like, I was actually wondering. You're like, I think I'm near your house. And I was expecting you to say like, it's 2528, right? Like you read the business.
I was like, no, I'm up front of his list. I'm like, well, it is close to my. I took a swing. I was like, Oh, I was great.
I did well. I like that you did research to come on the show, though. Well, because I saw when when did I have to cut like I haven't had a podcast app on my phone for. Wow, it's been a while.
It's this summer time because they went down to Facebook, Facebook messenger. Instagram and podcast. You just have like 500 megabytes on your phone. Basically, no, like it comes to the fact that like I have to like decide which images to keep.
Like I'm like, it's that it's that it's that bad. Like I've deleted text message threads so I can take a picture of a suitcase I saw on the street because I'm opening pictures of garbage on social media. Because I do a bit where I'm like, Oh, like it's always really John can attest to this. It's really awkward promoting shows on social media.
So the bit that I do is I pretend that I saw garbage in the street and I want to grab it and take it home and take it in as like some sort of hoarder. But I'm like, Oh, I got to get to this show. What was I getting? She was I found near the bus.
My mom said like for a while, she was like concerned. She thought, just for a while. Yeah. Well, she concerned for other reasons.
She was taking this bit at face value. Like as one was just like pants. I saw on the sidewalk. I'm going to get you new shoes.
Yeah. It was like she transfers you like $40. Like if you need pants, just say so. I was like, Mom, you don't get you don't call me.
This is how Dane Cook made it with my face. It's me with 30 pants. Kevin Hart used to leave comment cards on all the things and then you get on email chain. But it's like that.
But with pants. Yeah, that's dope. But obviously like logical next step is you pick up the pants and you cut them into pieces and give them out of the show. Oh, that's that's bed bugger.
Scabies one on one. I would never want to spread because that's always whenever you see street stuff. It's always, Oh, I'm not a responsible adult and it's moving day and I'm just going to put a sign on stuff and say free instead of taking it to the dump like you should or it's bed bugs. Yeah, I was just joking.
I didn't actually want you to pick up because I considered it a lot. You're like, I have considered doing. I'm glad that we're talking about images on your social media because there was a very good one on your Twitter recently of you performing a sensory deprivation show. That's the one of the funniest shows I've ever done ever.
So can you explain to me what it is first of all? So yeah, I don't know to what regular like what I was. It's not even my show. I put on they just asked me to be the host because I'm very like energetic.
The Kyle's show. It's Kyle. Yeah, it was Kyle and a Max Mitchell and a fellow by the name of Max Mitchell. Former guest Kyle bottom, by the way.
Yes, he's married to a comedian. He's a really nice fella. And he's like, Kyle and he's with Kyle and he was running shows before. And it was kind of his and Kyle's idea.
So what it is is their eyes are comedy is like one of the only art forms where you need the audience. Like it dictates everything it dictates timing. It dictates like what do you like. You kind of play off of the audience.
So you just take all of that away by putting the comic in a blindfold and then we put construction noise like ear protection. But then because it doesn't take out soft noise, we put in ocean noise and noise canceling headphones at high volume. So all they could hear was waves. And then I would take them out on stage and only a couple of comments I fucked with.
So like to indicate to the audience that like, yeah, they actually can't hear this. When the first comic, Kyle bottom was on stage. I kind of left my backpack on the stage before the show started. And then I retrieved a power saw from it and just started buzzing it right in Kyle's face.
As he was telling his opening joke and that indicated to the audience that they actually had no, they couldn't hear or see anything. So it's sensory deprivation for the performer. Yeah, not the audience. And so many people came to the show because they know the audience or the Canadian won't talk to them.
That's like people's biggest things. It's sold out right away. Yeah. People really enjoyed it.
Yeah. And then there was a great picture where Ross Dowke is on stage and you're in the back with your shirt off. Well, Ross, he had a great look. It's the look on your face.
It's like the biggest sheet eating grin. It's like you're just like so happy. Well, because yeah, it's kind of like a thing and like she experienced plays like there's like this little woodland creature that comes in and fucks around and he like kind of plays to the audience like, well, you were pocket. Yeah.
But like a hammer drunk with no shirt. So also like pocket. Yeah. Is that mid site mid site?
Yeah. Midnight summer stream. Midnight summer stream. Yeah.
Midnight summer stream is a 1993 porno. Yeah, but Ross was the only one we were worried like I got out there and I realized I'm like, Ross is very physical. And that's why he was I think he did probably the best on the show because he was just really performing stand up. Yeah.
He didn't really address too much. Like he did all of his bits, which but he almost fell off the stage. Like when I went out there, I was kind of fucking around and trying to get him off stage because we didn't realize the track kept replaying. He thought it would end.
And then the person knew that the light was up, but his just got replaying. So he's up there a little bit. And then I got out there and I was realized like, oh, his like his foot is on the edge of the stage. Like if he felt it and then like heard an audience member, he got hurt like that would just be the end of comedy at that venue.
Yeah, which would be bad. But so the audience liked it. How are the comedians do like everyone did very well. Like it's it's very fun.
It's the first time that this shows. Yeah. New York has a show where they're in a different room. Yeah, it's Ian.
It's not Ian Carmel and I can never remember who it is. It's Ian someone and it's called Seven Minutes in Heaven and they are sorry, Seven Minutes in Hell and they put them in like a soundproof booth and they do comedy to a camera in the soundproof booth and it's like closed circuit and then the camera like projects in the venue. They did it at JFL one of the years. When I first heard about this, I thought it was the other way around kind of because they do this with like food where you go out to a restaurant.
I'm like all the lights are off and shit about the dark table. Exactly that. So that when I when I heard about you. I thought it was like all you're focusing on is just the audio of the jokes and you can't see anything right.
I went to a play like that actually and I was really good. My friend Matt Gordon put it on and it was like just like a pod. It was like a murder mystery and so they like they had ushers and you got blindfolded and led into the venue and then the ushers sat everybody down and then and you had to keep the blindfold on for like 10 minutes and then once everybody was seated they turned the lights off and you could take your blindfold off. It was completely dark in there and then it was all like sound cues and stuff.
It was really cool because they had like they put speakers in like different parts of the room so they so they sound kind of like moved around the room and then they had a bunch of like different audio things not quite like a power saw but they had like like there was like a murder and you could hear like the gun and then they're like there's one part where they were like chopping some stuff up. It was like supposed to be I can't even remember what it was. I don't think it was a dead body but it was like they hit something and it like sprayed the audience and stuff and it was a really interesting way to like see a play. Yeah and plus it's great too because you'll get in less trouble if you play another race than the one you are.
That's also true. Yeah. I thought it was a little bit interesting that they just kept driving home that everyone was African. Is that if that was the stand up comedy show where it was like the audience can see you.
I would probably be not allowed to do comedy after but I would go up and do observational comedy about my life as like I don't know like a gay black woman or something. Yeah that makes sense. And then all the comics would be like Ryan I was really uncool. I'm like pretty pretty offensive and I'd be like who's Ryan?
I'm Ryan Ita. I like that your secret name is just your own name with Ita. I'm Ryan Ita. Yeah so I never make it as a spy.
Ryan. Ryan. Ryan. Ryan.
Oh. Yeah. That's a classic Russian saying. Yeah exactly.
That's what we all identify Russian people. Yeah. Yeah. Well Ryan last time you were here.
The reason that you're so beloved is that you had all these great stories about being a CJFL player. Yeah. Do you have any leftover football stories that you did not use last time or do you not? Yeah I told the two big ones which is well this is so cool.
So this ties in to this ties in every now. It just became like a coke of guy talking about the experiences of the interview. We promise right about that. We'll tie in everything man.
So as many of you you know the OAR the Olympic athletes from Russia okay. That goes right back to the CJFL because with that Icarus stuff if you Netflix documentary Icarus which goes into at length so I Russia has to be called the Olympic athletes from Russia. Like there's so there's two women from WADA because one of the head offices is in Montreal. So that's where the CJFL would send RP.
And that's where those ladies like Russia was so they this fucking guy that played for the big who in his self-sury Rams got bought for HGH. Meanwhile the Russians are like stealing P like spies in Sochi. But it's like oh it's like we'll have the highest level of sport like whatever but the good good who in his self-sury. It must be under the strictest doping testing in the world.
Oh I re-listen that story and I was really I was really I was way too nervous and excited telling the 97 nothing story. But and then also I like threw some people under the bus and that but. Don't worry no one listened. Yeah.
They're good with it. We didn't hear anything. No one was like hey man that Ryan Williams got you out on the show. But for the listeners.
I'm just I think like I think about it all the time the guy that he at halftime when he found out the testers were there he talked about this on the last one. It's the funniest thing in the world. Like when he found out the testers were there he just like took his pads off and just hung out in the parking lot until the game was over. And then the team was like we probably shouldn't give you a ride back.
Like it was a really important day to competition for you to test. I do like the idea that that would just happen in another sport like hockey like they find out the testers are in the dressing room and when that just sits at the end of the bench like with the back of the goalie. They go I can't go out. I'm well no they're during intermissions.
Yeah. Well no no you have to like lead out of the thing like you couldn't be on the sidelines because then they come to you and then it's the worst fucking job. That's why like this Icarus thing could happen. They're like how can they get away with this.
There's so much science like deep down. No one wants to like look at a guy's dick awkwardly like it's the worst job and it's so easy to cheat and the testers are always like ahead of the game. Like it's so as a sports family the athletes are ahead of the testers. Sorry.
Yeah. Yeah. They were like wearing a prosthetic dick or whatever with fake peeing it because the thing we were always told to do by like you would you buy it you buy it you buy it like you're like you're if you knew you had a hot piss you would bite like your fingernail and rip it so you're bleeding and then kind of hide the fact that you're bleeding before you go pee and then just pretend that you're an idiot and don't know how to pee and like whoa my thumb's in my stream and then you'd have blood in the test and they would have to retest you later. Ah what a great tip for all of our listeners.
Yeah. It's a great tip for me personally as a person who plays a drug tested sport. Thank you for letting me. Your government employee now you know also.
I feel like that would look a lot worse to government employees. Sports you're kind of like oh you must have like you must have got hit really hard on the field. Yeah they just assume that it's like oh like that sucks but they're not probably going to follow up but if it's like Greg from HR they're probably like oh you've got to go to the doctor. That's not a good sign.
You just sit at this desk eight hours a day if there's blood in your pee that's your some serious shits about to go down because that's literally like the big two like there's all the WebMD stuff where you like convince yourself you have cancer and then yeah and then when a girl yells at you for being distant you're like oh yeah well I have cancer it happens to everyone and yeah definitely and but they're like there's like symptoms that everyone kind of has in their life like everyone like will wake up sweaty or like have a dry mouth but pee in the blood and pee in the pool like those are like they're like oh you're peeing me blood. Yeah there's a I just had piss on my head brain. I had a real piss on my head. Oh man yeah that would be like I was just imagining that like sometimes you do have some problems and you have to give a stool sample and it's like sir we regret to inform you there's urine.
And then you would just go it's like well like you know when you sit down like it's hard not to do both. So I just put it in the cup and then they would be concerned they'd be like well this guy's a boron so we're gonna fire him from our job just for being that stupid. Oh my god that might be the funniest thing that's ever happened on the show. That's also where that phrase from future song mask off comes from like where it goes to cops it's like that's what you get when you get tested so you can pee in one and poo in one at the same time.
So you don't just take a shit and then piss all over the floor like someone's got to clean that up and that's not a union job probably. Yeah. Oh where we go from here. You're talking about the Olympics?
Sure we can talk about it a little bit. The ice dancing medals we've given out before we started recording. That was real emotional. Turn it over to you go now.
That was yeah. Now I'm crying for different reasons. Yeah it's beautiful. Tested Scott I mean you know just great.
Great stuff and yeah well we were speaking of drug testing you guys wanted to talk about the drug testing and curling. Yeah surprise surprise which country got posh. Yeah exactly the Olympic athletes of Russia. OAR.
OAR hey man listen I listened to a lot of OAR back in the day and I'll tell you something no I didn't ever listen to that band. You guys know what I'm talking about? You're like lost the OAR? No OAR.
There was a band called OAR they were like a like a life house type of band. OAR stood for other revolution. That's the Christian band. I don't think so.
I'll see if I can look up some OAR and play it on the show. I haven't really done a whole iPhone into the microphone any time recently. I was so dumb I thought like you I misheard or you misvote OTR. Oh fuck you're a beautiful man.