#134: My Marriage Started With Trauma And Has Continued To Be Traumatic What Do I Do?

Caller Kathryn's Question: "Married 41 years. Separated 3.5. On New Year’s Day, he said he wanted to show me sobriety ( from fantasy and masturbation) and he was going to begin with a new CSAT and he wanted us to get together twice a week and start marriage counseling too. None of this has happened. I asked him in a text two weeks ago how his sobriety was going. He said he couldn’t say it was going well. His excuses for not moving back home are his resentment and his lack of sobriety. He has never let me help him yet he acts like a victim. He’s paying the bills but I work too and I have about 6000 saved for divorce or legal separation. I was a stay-at-home Mom. I’m 65. I don’t want to divorce but don’t want to live with him as he is. I don’t really feel married. Friends say I need to be the spark for redemption. I have told him I forgive him and will continue forgiving as it continues to hurt. He date-raped me twice before marriage and created the narrative that we had sex. This is a major trauma. Any suggestions?" Tyler Patrick, "The Wandering Therapist", is co-founder of Love Strong (lovestrong.com), a Christian-based Recovery + WHOLEHEARTED living therapy practice. If you'd like to work with Love Strong via telehealth or in-person, reach out to us at [email protected] or go to our website: https://lovestrong.com. We have a great online Foundations Of Recovery Class starting soon. This class is for sex addiction recovery and healing from betrayal trauma. Go to https://lovestrong.com/services/foundations-group/ to learn more and sign up. Brannon Patrick, "The Expert", is co-founder of Therapy Utah (therapyutah.org). You can follow Brannon on Instagram @brannon_patrick. He has some really great online courses available at brannonpatrick.com like his Boundary Bootcamp course. Brannon has a program called L.I.F.T. for betrayal trauma and addiction recovery available online starting soon. Go to https://www.liftforrecovery.com/ for more info! Join us for one of our "Life-Changing" retreats. therapybros.com/events Radiant Dawn Women's Conference: https://radiantdawnconference.com Rising Son Men's Conference: https://risingsonconference.com Couple's Conference TBA We would love to have you as a guest on the podcast. Go to realtalkrecovery.com to submit your question and schedule your call!