Hello and welcome to Noah Plaz just the clamp. The only show that's in the taint of the holidays. I'm Doug with me is that and Lizzy Hi, we all saw stars We also start wars spoilers be where to get all right it We should probably just open that up right now with all the spoilers will be talked about during the podcast if you're a bad Seamstar words, then please stop the podcast now and listen to us once you've watched it No, they fucking go on the last episode of that and there's nothing but him talking about Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm behind on all shades of fucking podcast, but yeah I'll see the great I have to admit and we'll talk about it a little bit more later Thanks, Deb you gave him the third book of shade gray I left at the barn I gave a dog because I thought I was like I'm in the book called like 50 more shades It's 50 shades deep air no deeper. No deeper.
It's deeper. No last one for free. Yes, okay Yeah, I've been I got a 50 years of slavery There's a great I got a Barnes and Noble gift card during the holiday season. I'm tempted to buy the Kendall version of gray just to see how horrible it actually is I'm getting my mom's on this card.
It's fucking phenomenal. Why are you getting the good card? She's like they get it at scary. I'm maker use it.
Did she not realize how awesome? Of course she used the Internet but I do this gift card you can only use on the Internet. Yeah, like One of the family members got her a Starbucks card She's like I never gonna start us it here you go, which I'm like great. It'll help me kill the time tomorrow Oh, you don't know but I work tomorrow morning and then I'll be like an hour and a half to kill before I have to go over No, I'm not like 1230.
So come over But Patrick won't be over to Emma's until like oh, it's like you just pick them up. Yeah, so I'm like Oh, it's use that Starbucks card and that has to drive them to the game That is right. Well, you know Patrick was gonna drive but then I was like, you know I'm literally right down the street from Emma Gishill's right down the street from the shops I'm like I might as well just drive And then but my mom got an Amazon gift card. She's like I don't know what this is I don't know how to use it.
It's the best shopping department or ever I know Downtown and the internet or like my mom's like Yeah, here's the thing that was you know your mother wants something just ask her what she wants and show her how awesome it is to use I don't get stuff. Don't be selfish break. Wow. I keep your Christmas present.
Yeah, I gave you a Christmas present too Let your mother Enjoy her games on gift card and break her fear of being at the same time. Oh god. No, I How not loomed out but how afraid of technology my mom is she got really frustrated because she didn't want to hang up her phone You just okay sometimes it is a pain of the askers phone keeps doing something weird A wireless phone right I went mom filled this phone and I said green or red button Which one do you think hangs up the phone and she goes red? Said now at the bottom of your phone when the call is ended.
There's a red button You don't have a choice at this point. I didn't only want one do you think ends the call she goes This is what I'm talking to you Was a little condescending I can see it she gets nothing as she gets frustrated not me And she's like you just want me to keep the phone. I'm like no no. Oh, it's the upgrade to the seven Five s and a base six is like It took me 20 years to my mom to realize that she can install software without calling me because she says she had my mom's book You fuck I've got like 19 and a half years.
Well, you started her too late. I was a bookkeeper So she's got all this That's quite an all that she uses for clients. Yeah, well, you know, most people don't realize it I really use it every year like that but for her every year is not great Every year is a new tax law. So for years every I could tell when taxis was coming up Not because it's freaking w2 because I get a phone call my mom like Ryan I have to tell this upgrade again Can you help me throw it because she was so worried about losing the data?
I'm still like an upgrade is like pushing a button and waiting Well back it up and then you're not always because she was she was so there was I don't know what software shows you There was one software shows you're where if she upgraded it was so broke deck that wouldn't upgrade the database file on the previous version Yeah, like six versions of this software computer really finally fix it So that's where the concern goes. Well, it's okay. Just do it this way. That's everything I'm saying things last year.
Okay, and I thought we'd just be like all right. What are you doing now? Yes I showed her how when she first got her iPhone when she's coming off of a razor Yeah, they don't support that anymore. So she'll get a new phone and she said that John when the razor first came out was obsessed with it Oh, I got a razor that was an amazing little phone and then I You probably wash it.
Yeah, no, I didn't feel it my pants on to go like yeah, I did laundry Yeah, and my remit was like maybe that's not the way to clean a $400 phone. That's how much razors used to cost Yeah, but my mom showed her she goes show me I take a picture. Okay. This is how you do so you saw the picture on Facebook I posted with America's with me and it does laugh which makes him look like he's like fucking snope like he's like He is really big.
Yeah, were you with the other guy? No, okay, cuz there's one just like that The other guy was like I think they're the other other bunch of them but uh and I was like, yeah, I think a picture of you know, yeah, you know and Other than like, you know, there was a glare on it and she didn't really take them account That's fine, but like there were like those weird like my pro burst pictures Oh, she was like, yeah, she kept hitting the button. She kept hitting the home the home button Oh, and I'm like, mom you have an iPhone you know what that button does she goes no way down I'm like well, we need to and I'll admit though like having somebody's phone has a different interface when yours throws you through It's the same phone. It's the same phone.
It's dog show. Mm-hmm. It's like every time I try and use brain and phone which fucking sucks It takes me like turning you to figure it out. Speak your phones.
Sorry guys Oh, you need a new one? I don't know if it was a need no actually it wasn't need because that Nexus 6 You didn't say it was really bad. It got an update to 6.0.1 This was like, you really like the Nexus when you got it. I did The more I started using it the more I got it over it because it was really wide.
Yeah, it was it was large Well, this was not small but it's narrower I thought it's not as bad as I thought it was There's there's not a div in the back of the phone for me to balance my finger on because you have to in order to not drop it But there's a button out but when it upgraded to 6 out of 1 it got really fucking slow It would reboot all the time like in the middle of shit. Where does that issue to? Yeah, we're just one sucks because he has Amazon and they don't do yeah Yeah, okay, cuz that was when I went over there for D&D last week It was a really good piece of hardware like the actual phone was really durable the OS sucked That's the problem and it didn't support a lot. Well, I should touch on something about that in Richard So I was getting bread with my phone.
I can't have my phone. You're like that I work on too much like actual work So I'm walking on to the old one like hi I got this from you guys like three months ago for months ago and I need a new phone this thing sucks It's like okay, no problem. Thanks, don't phone. Like scan the car codes.
Like every work. Oh, yeah condition Like ding you couldn't even notice Well, what do you want? I'm like I want that be I want that thing the lgv10 and he starts laughing I said just come out like a week ago. I know that's why I'm here.
It's like okay To get a little boner for the lgv10, you know, it's probably the only phone left in the market You can replace the battery on you're saying that this week Probably one of the few phones that has SD cards a lot on it Cameras really good on it. LG's Android little overview is kind of funky, but whatever I mean, it's close enough to go inside of it Whatever like on the back. So instead of that giant divot to balance it There's three buttons. There's a volume volume like the normal be on the side But since the phones are he so wide they put it on the back They know you're gonna hold it like this and in the center of those is the power button Well, the power button is also finger-preacher So if I use this finger on it, it'll unlock all the screen, but if I use this finger on it's like I'll turn on I'm not a market.
So you're saying you figure it's a big sign. Oh my gosh, I love my phone Though why don't you have a case on it? Because he's not you? I mean, it's it's brand new and I'm only brand new to you.
I mean brand new to everyone I think you want to protect it a little I'm sure it's a bit of work at the same time because it's over any other phone. Yeah If you have a Kyle Canadian bit about having insurance on his phone where he just uses it to crack open pistachios now Like on the dashboard of his car He's just like pounding up the phone even after crap I mean the thing is that I got that next is 634 with a deaf-ton and survived all the deaf-ton and black-eyed I mean, basically we can be just without a case in the phone There not that's impressive I'm not saying that I've been like I said I've been like a years and years and years and years and years without ever breaking a smartphone screen And then I go to of them within three months Yeah, and one of them I was completely sober and the other one I was hammed Well, that's exactly what happened I totally ate shit playing ingress and broke the first one and then was walking home talking to my ex and was angry to him While Trump from number two. Yeah, X like I said was angry texting him. Well, I'm trying to throw the other one Not on purpose of course, but yeah I'm like my work on purpose is a blackberry I hate those fucking phones.
We used to work. I like I like my old blackberry lot But that's also when I fucked up my fingers It was a lot easier for me to have a physical keyboard and type of my thumb I mean, I like the keyboard, okay, but it's still like a phone I threw it against the wall Yeah, yeah, what it was like it's doing like the phones that are held together like magnetically Work I like the idea except for you know when you're drunk and you drop your phone at the club or the bar and pieces go fucking Every well and so that's what they're working on as well as well as one has a comment yet is that it wasn't surviving Yeah, cuz it should have been out by now. I can't really calling it. There's a name.
There's a project name for it. Yeah Like I said, I really like the idea. It's just you know the actual real world use of it seems questionable Yeah, but I think they're which I think is also funny because you know by freaks out of electronics and magnets So we're gonna hold together a phone with all your data on it. Yeah, but flesh memory is not affected the same way in Like No Yeah, my computer's not working what all my like kitchen magnets on my computer to hold notes well, that's gonna do stuff That was Coffee my favorite was a coffee Couple of coffee cup over and it broke up because coffee cup is too hot heavy for it and when it snapped off it dumped coffee into the tower Oh, oh, I know I had the guy called me since you're working long story short blackout Oh fuck what do you think it was a fucking organ?
I was a lady using a Mac and she saw the mouse and reminded her of her song machine So she assumed that what did she call about though? She could be got a user computer like nothing She's like I'm pushing the foot pedal. They won't come on. I like foot pedal Yeah, people not knowing how to use things so I finally hooked my Xbox back up apparently I've let the controller sit for so long the buck the buttons are now unbelievably stiff.
So I might actually have to buy a new controller Well, you can get used ones from game stuff. Oh, no, that's definitely a song like No, I'm planning on doing but yeah No, the buttons were so stiff that like branded went in with a q-tip and cleaned them all and they're still incredibly stiff like I didn't spill anything on it Just sitting for over a year in a closet fun fact this morning. I went and got gas and my the door to the gas cat thing Frozen shut yeah, let's start a freaking out. I'm like I need gas Just rub it a little bit Yeah, I think about girls kissing Only hands and walking down the beach thinking about making meaningful eye contact Yeah, no, I literally I want to thank you really read At one point I was like because my knuckles are so pronounced.
I was like if I punched this thing now Like I was gonna go like full like wait like service in this game. I like I said correct if I'm wrong though It has the the dent in it so you can grip it right. No. Oh, you're oh, no.
I don't have a little thing It open no There's not a button that you can put Your hands I'm fucking fine Scratch anything no No hard presses that are like break up the ice, you know, I mean on the edges and stuff But that's what I normally do on first date a couple hard presses to break up the ice Now Feeling Of course. Yeah, can we get into Star Wars? Yeah, so let's again spoilers man We're gonna talk Oh, yeah, there it is. I see what it is the first boiler is dip.
It's a table I actually can't play the lint nor that's but she didn't use the force. She didn't awaken it None of us are gonna. You know why cuz fucking Ben Solo killed them all what a dick I mean, we're gonna get into the whole Kylo Riley. He's a dick thing later Yeah, you did cylo Ren You know Jen whatever the fuck her name is a total dick.
That's not true I was thinking right, okay, sorry Okay, man Both looking at you don't know what I'm talking about you serious you never ever No, no, that's sliver kidding. Okay, I know what he's talking about it, but I really do like fucking with him. Okay Anyway, that's mine. So let's hear your opinions first.
Oh, it's okay I'll talk about don't you worry. I'm waiting um in terms of we'll go from general to well you get the longest So go ahead and learn about it. Um, I liked it. It was Effectively new hope.
I mean, you know this satisfied youth on a desert planet finds it right important to the resistance gets sucked into a war In that I mean it was pretty much the same movie it had but I had the same set of fun It didn't have the heavy-handed or the weight that they tried to have the people's house Well, that's the thing though is that there was there was always a sense of adventure and a sense of fun in the early on I mean, I mean you know comfortable that Harrison Ford look is Han Solo though. It's awesome He looked so comfortable in that role to like that. Yeah, this is kind of like coming home for him literally I was part of a for Princess Leia, okay, but she's great. Oh She she's one down she and down about it in actually intense.
No, they've done some press releases about that. Yeah But yeah, no, she's very good for leaving back on coat Who's that way but like no when they do the first quote unquote reveal on Han and chewy one? I love that they're so comfortable in the Han chewy dynamic. Yes.
I love the joke with him in the crossbow. I love that one I'm the top myself on a talk away at him like I know all the time So comfortable in that role and it was gonna say and you know what yeah, he aged but he aged his hons. Oh, yeah I mean he still looks like console. I think it's still I did I did like the joke with the crossbow because I Sorry think about you never really see she block I shoot the crossbow.
No, he has it with him But you never he's always shouldn't jedi fuzzy. Okay, well, they don't show it the way they should at this time Because I was like badass Which is funny because they like troopers flying back Random ass commercial beforehand where they have chewy shoot the crossbow Before I watch the movie and I turn it brand and I'm like, you know, she the crossbow like that Well the things that you notice and this is something I noticed the first time I saw they really do show Excuse me. They really do show. What's going on with you?
So happy I'm with them Dixie. They really do show The damage that shot all of you. All right, I just spit They really do show the damage show show the damage Well, no like from lightsabers blasters You know especially when Finn gets the one guy Obviously when Han Solo dies I did not I was a little bit sad. I wasn't somewhere I could just yell what I was thinking.
I was a little bit sad. I couldn't just What the fuck Which by the way just like hit to all parents if your kid is not old enough to read the opening crawl You shouldn't bring into the fucking movie that is the test of the best part is the kid behind me on Christmas was like Repeating lines, but she was like doing it like the lines. I would repeat as an adult So I was like, huh? I know if you bring your kids to the movies, maybe don't let them wear their light up shoes I did I did like there's a line that Princess like just Han Solo when they first meet again or no, they're figuring out the whole plan Nice not that the against yeah What have you ever been helpful or something don't bring up that star?
Yeah, I don't give you that death star thing. He's like, oh, come on like he literally's like that's my one thing Okay, did you guys were supposed to die in that? Yes? Yes, yeah, okay I don't know about you guys, but definitely when they're trying to escape the desert planet and they're running towards the ship And he's like what about that one?
He's a garbage and I'm like nah I love you. I'm like I'll take the garbage and then do the reveal on it I'm like yeah, there's so many gay moments where you know like Han and Chewie come on come on the month Blending Falcon or okay, I love the gag He's trying to bandage up Chewie and he's fighting him. Yeah And that's okay, like I said and they're trying to do the jump into hyperspace and she just ripped something out of the side of the Like that's so that just makes me think you know that's fucking Han and Chewie in the first movie is just Jerry Ritting Well, I can't wait for him to like shoot something ago boring conversation anyway I was really waiting for that line. I'm glad it didn't happen because I think if you recycle too much then you're like Okay, I'm just pandering.
I'm I thought more is homage They got on the line of Pandering I mean they were well, but you know when Finn's going through the morning balcony picks up the like that weird training or They just chucks it, but they also the gag and then they're not Yeah, they have a guy who can accidentally turning on the chest table. Yeah, I like that Bandage Chewie Which okay, so I'd say I'll go to Toronto that did not work out last time as I planned with it up like drowning out garbage Yeah, that's okay. So when they come back after they've blown up, you know the planet killer things start killer base Stark killer is the name of Darth Vader's apprentice Between is it between Empire and Jedi? I think he has a The game isn't I know the comics and novels aren't games are either the mother fuck they threw everything out six movies and then one book that came out Nobody got tagged with the name for kids this time.
There was a porcans though His name's escaping me great Greenberg. Okay. I guess he's the porcans. They just didn't name him porcans No snap what's like which is just on the same Sorry, but I said so when they finally get back from blowing that up Why does it reg at the first hug from Leia?
No, never met and shouldn't she we get the first one? Oh, no, they've never said they've never met here's my theory Why didn't she we get the hug from Leia? Okay, there are so many theories going around. That's his head real life made Why didn't she hug chewy?
It's bull crap. It's like when he didn't get a medal Here's the thing raise parentage has become like a huge thing online Of course it has I actually don't want them to give her a bad story. I don't I don't want to know Okay, hold on. I want to take a real quick quick read around the table real quick.
Who do you think cousin cousin cousin? I think she's marking a little mo Luke's kid, which means she's kind of a nice cousin. Oh, okay You think okay, so you think she's Luke's daughter you think I'm on the fence between Luke's daughter and Kylo Ren's twin That's right. No, but in the books they have the twins which we Yeah, well here's the thing though is that Ben knows gonna say Ben was always Mark.
Well Luke Skywalker's son Yeah, it was not anything to something. No, not anymore. No, it was Ben No, I had a son named Ben Margie. Yes, yeah, I guess I have a son named Ben First up that's that's no reason I think it's one of my other kids They only say son our son The thing though is that she looks younger Not really Yeah, I think she looks more like you know 20 But if you look at his eyes also more No, it's also more because I've seen him in girls and I hate him my mom did not like I don't like his character I don't like it.
She's like he's smart me and I'm like he's the dark side But it's that it's not that I don't like him in girls is that I hate that fucking series. Okay, okay I so the reason I'm leaning towards Luke's daughter is because one supposedly Jedi aren't supposed to be tied to family in it Kids but I was anakin did and so him making a mistake as father did what kind of Big-on circles But I see the same argument is why I'm like well looking like we're twins and you know one's a bad acid ones But once a bad one's not and this one could be No one's good one's bad. Well, here's here's I'm gonna let me put this into terms. I've got other people So when you say the good bad like this movie is like if Luke was Darth Vader and Leia was the hero You know what I mean in terms of the twins oh, yeah That's one thing they're going with that's one thing they're going So you know what Abrams Abrams is said he goes, you know what we set it up and it's actually goes Yes, it's up to Ryan Johnson to fucking figure it out He also said that he thinks Ryan Johnson's gonna turn in a weird fucking film Gee the guy that made a limber isn't a turn in a weird film.
I think he's an odd choice for the second I don't think so. No, I don't know. I love I love I love Luper. Well, find out.
I love I love I love by under 12 days or whatever You're gonna have so close was a little annoyed we didn't get more of judder No, I can't think of the actress's name. She crazy I was no she plays me on target David Brown. She had a silver. Oh, okay.
I want more Captain Fazma when she was gonna The hostage like she's fucking badass. She will be in the second one like it Oh, there's a sign on for all three. Yeah, I mean it's been a big thing in the media that her character was originally male And the other female people were like how about some more female characters? Stay back well, and then they just don't make action figures for like There's no reaction there's like one yeah, there's like one yeah, there's that a lower production value But like all the although like five out and five character kids and shit.
She's not in it now The only in Falcon, you know the one is he pilots all the time she's not in that kid that she takes over at the The fucking movie that's coming here He did no no he went with her he didn't climb up the actual structure No, because she's the main character and it has to be like the journey about thousand steps to get to the master I mean that really was that whole thing is so fucking ridiculously Cara Salwa it's ridiculous Exactly When you have to climb when the the fledgling Kung Fu master has to like climb the thousand steps to get to the master like that's that scene Which by the way when you saw that like I think it's always been hanging out in Ireland? Well, did you notice? Here's and here's a really kind of tweak to me when I saw it the second time Kind of tweaked me about like that might be Luke's daughter is that when Kylo Ren is trying to pull the lightsaber No, when he's trying to like rip the map out of her head the most Just dumbest like mind reading scene ever like it's just like there's no like they're in pain But there's not there's no fun. Yeah, like it's just like every other time you see Their minds are like I'm bleeding other nose and ears and shit and he's like yeah He's just waving at her nonchalantly, but he goes oh, I see like when you fall into sleep you picture an ocean with an island And then cut to what seemed like three hours later When she meets Luke Skywalker any Which I mean given that's where I will be I know that um, but you know what I mean like Oh, she envisioned when she put she might have been having a force vision Sometimes the island in the street No man is an island Sometimes they're Paul Simon because he's a rock sometimes he's an island Whatever you use your hand Just my glasses like the chick that was from um, yeah, oh yeah Like whatever horrible accountable African name is yeah, that's racist.
No, it's a hard one. It's got a positivity stuff There's no fucking bowels I like her. I mean like they were I like that once I like unlike the prequels like they were aliens at said shit We're like yeah, but they just said yeah, but they didn't all fucking speak English They didn't use an acronym and colloquialisms like they did in the prequels. Yeah, like so when you talk about the prequels I'm sorry when you talk about the prequels being like dumped down and toy addict with Jar Jar things BB 8 it was the same thing, but it didn't dumb it down and shit nice to me I fucking I know everyone this room ones a fucking BB 8.
I should just want to talk to my cats with a BBA But you still want one yeah, but I'm not paying what like a hundred fifty Yeah, look at the remote BB 8 no no no no no, it's a water Yeah, no, they're over hundred dollars. Yeah. It's a spirit So the things I did like about a movie I thought Ray was a badass. Yeah.
She's gorgeous. I've got actress. I think Daisy Ridley. Yes.
Daisy jazz as Isabelle Ridley, is her full name. Wow, hippies. Huh. I looked it up last night.
You looked up some other things. You sure she's not from the working class? Yeah, I did. They don't exist yet.
So yeah, no, she's gorgeous. I really like the character. I like how I liked it. I know that people were like, oh, she didn't give me training.
That's not necessarily true. She could have been getting training and then had that memory about it. Anyway, we left it like, we could talk. I think it's a generous memory.
OK, good. You keep saying you're sorry to keep doing it. I'm not sorry. I did like Montso.
I loved Chewbacca, actually, even more than I loved him. I was like, see through Joe? Kind of annoying. Like, I'm not in the same way that he wasn't the original trilogy.
Like, this was just, he was just there to be stupid. Well, he was there. It wouldn't be there. Like, we got to have a starboard with him.
I did like R2D2 finally coming back because I missed him. Did you like the joke about him sleeping? He was defragging. They said he was basically defragging.
That makes sense. Which means he's on Windows. Well, if you remember, protocol is like, I don't know. OK, you can't remember protocol for a droid is to wipe it every six months, but Luke wouldn't left him.
Right. So he had a lot to be right. Um, what else did I like? I split it.
I like Captain Fad, OK. A little bit against here. The new ships look fucking awesome. They look like they've evolved a little bit.
The X ones are interlocking. They're like separated now, which makes eight, ten times more sense aerodynamically. Um, I did like the Black X-line fighter. Well, did you notice it's called some black needle, which was not quite a thing in high school.
God, no. Did you like the guy they had with Poe and Finn when they're trying to steal the typewriter? And it's basically chained up like a bike at a walk. Yeah, I did like that.
I was really fine. I'm just fine. I did not like Finn's character at all. I can't tell if it's the actor or the character.
I think it's a little both. Because he acted it. He's shit out of me. And another thing with him being a Black Country player is not that at all.
That doesn't matter to me. That actually makes sense. That's not true to me from all of the fucking plays. Um, it's just, I don't know.
It's only they had to have a third character, so just make one up. I feel like it's a combination of the fact that they didn't do enough character development and it was acted weekly. Because he has these deep convictions not to kill, and then he totally pusses out on everything that happens after that. Yeah.
Also, what bothered me they had a ginger general. Who? Did you watch Black Mirror? No.
Did you watch all Black Mirror? Yeah. It's the guy that comes back with the one with Agent Carter, where she has the dead husband that comes back in tax and then they have like the avatar. The body.
Yeah. That's him. Yeah. I like that.
I just like in Black Mirror, he still has a soul. Yep. I like that. Snoke was kind of like playing them off each other.
That actually didn't make me laugh. They're playing them off each other. Right. Last of the rank work on that one.
I did not like the style choice to make him giant in their projections. I did. Because the first time when you see him and you don't know that, you're like holy fuck what the hell is that thing? Well, technically the first time you see the emperor is a giant hologram and it's a giant hit.
That's true. Don't worry about what you got. It's kind of a fucking road. As you do.
Plus, there's indications that he's been around longer than the prequel. He was around the prequel. Well, they showed that he's like scarred. He's really scarred.
Like, I was going to say, I mean, he's obviously dealt with the dark side of the force long enough that it started to morph his body like it did with the emperor. Yeah. I do want to know what Kylo Ren's last step quote unquote is. I do wonder about the weird style choice where they're interrogating Rey and he takes off the helmet and slams it down and it had a weird dusting ash.
No, I thought it was really bizarre. And I get how conflicted that Ben Solo is because he has these two kind of legacies and he doesn't know which one to go to. He has the legacy of Leia and Han and then he's like a Darth Vader. I did like that when he was trying to pull loose legs, they were going to pass him and went straight to Rey.
Which to me means it calls to her more. Yes, as a skylocker. Or someone was more positive to her heart. I think it's like a life.
I think it's like a Kylo's Skywalker. I mean, he has a skylocker. He has a skylocker. I mean, his last name is gonna be Solo, but he's a skylocker.
I really do like the Rey character. I think they did a great job with her. I'm looking forward to more of a backslap. I am looking forward to her.
I don't. To find out her parentage. I want to know if she got training, I want to know, you know, would she part of the Jedi class that Kylo fucked up? Oh, they hit her.
That's interesting because that implies that there is no skylocker parentage at all. They just hit her after her. I actually did that. She could have been a skylocker.
I like watching really hard when she finally got it right. The first two times she did it. I did that in the marker, please. Why?
Because I have to make all the notes I'm thinking of that as I think. Okay. Because I won't get to some of these. What do you want?
Should I go and trick? No, I did that. I like the way she kind of evolved. I did like also how every time she interact with Kylo Ren is when she starts to make jumps.
She was supposed to make jumps. Yeah. So it was almost like he was triggering something in her. Trigger.
Did I think it was a little bit too of a fine point when the planet started breaking apart and they were literally on different sides of the rift? Yes, yes, I did. Oh, it's a little heavy handed. And then the planet starts breaking apart and they're on other sides.
Oh, no. Fun fact. You know who played the stormtrooper? She pulled the mind trick on.
Um, Daniel Craig. Mm-hmm. Fucking James Bond himself. Did that make you laugh the first time she did it though?
He's like, I won't make this tighter. He's like, and then I'll drop it. And then I was like, you know what, I'm not fucking James Bond. Drop the mic.
Uh, I'm literally that. Um, actually I got an argument and I want to be, I want to clarify for people who, I guess this wasn't 100% clear to some people who are not. Johnny Hardner. Oh, that's smart.
Or they could put it together. Um, I had a friend who argued with me that he thought it was irresponsible that, um, Luke Skywalker lost his lightsaber. I don't think he lost it. I think he left it.
That was the lightsaber he lost investment when he lost his hand. Exactly. It was the one that Vader cut off. Because the original one he built it, it's green.
Yeah, you're right. In Jedi. I got an argument. He doesn't really build a new one.
Oh, well, okay. He built, you know what I mean? Like, he rebuilds his personal lightsaber. I just want to say Kylo Renz's bullshit.
Well, Kylo Renz, everyone's like, oh that fucking, what the hell is hard. That's not a offensive or defensive choice. Apparently, once I saw it again, I kind of like confirmed it visually. That lightsaber's not as defined as it should be.
No, it's not. It's a cranks crystal. It's a cranks crystal where the fuck they use. Yeah, but what you realize is that Kylo Renz is like venting off the energy.
But he uses it in a, in a, um, situation. Well, but it's also supposedly designed after an antique model lightsaber. Oh, is it really? That I did not know.
But you know, all lightsaber are controlled by a force of will. Right. But at the same time, it's not the green laser. There's a green laser.
There's a mill. It's force of will. Yeah, I mean, Finn fucking turns it on. I was gonna say that's how the lightsaber knows when to end.
That's not 100% right now. It hasn't on off. I was like, the whole force awakening part is actually around Finn. Not right.
Really? And here's my theory on that one. In that opening village scene where I was trying to shoot him and killing everybody, he's not. And Kylo Ren's leaving with Poe.
He senses. He stops and he looks at him for no reason whatsoever. Well, I mean, he's having a crisis of conscious, but he actually stands there like a fucking moron staring at them with zero probability. I mean, I don't think it was because he didn't, I don't think it was, he stopped and stared at him because he noticed he was shooting.
I think he stared at him because he felt something. Yeah, but I think that was probably the fear and apprehension because the next scene is like a captain fad's not going to report to my division and then they talk about like, he's never shown any kind of issues before. Yeah, my conditioning is perfect. No, it's not.
You bitch. 12 years of stormtrooper. Violate road free. 50 years of freedom.
50 years of freedom. Yeah, 50 years of freedom. Yeah, 50 years of freedom. Literally, it's a really good metaphor for slavery because he's taken from a family he's never known, pressed into service.
I mean, instead of picking cotton, he's killing rebels. Well, Doug said that out loud. Well, I mean, you know, you could, you could relate it to the whole child soldier and effort to think that it wasn't really necessarily a fault we could come. That would have got your householder.
Yeah. Plus that would be a throw on blood diamonds, blood diamonds, blood diamonds, all that kind of crystals. I mean, we can make relations here. Yeah, that's why the like thing is red.
Okay. As he goes though, the part when he's basically talking to Vader's melted skull slash helmet, two things. One, when did he go to the E-Walk planet to steal that? No, they actually do talk about that, that there's, he, Abrams has talked about how there are people that will, like, track down, like, not see artifacts.
Yeah, there are people that will collect an old empire shit and he just can't correct it. Okay, yeah, here's the thing too. Why would Luke burn his father with the helmet on? In effigy?
He didn't burn it with it on. Yeah. No, no, it's just questioning. It's the funeral pyre.
Yeah. The helmet's, why? Because he doesn't, it's like a closed casket, a pyre, so to speak. I mean, wow.
You're reaching. Oh, plenty. Also, maybe it's only because the second time I saw it, but when you see the first shot of like the- I pulled a muscle in my shoulder reaching that hard. A closed casket pyre.
Yeah. I can't remember that sweater. You look this sweater. I do.
I'm not sure. She's on the sleeves. She's on the sleeves. Sorry, go ahead.
Closed casket pyre. Yeah. It took all my willpower to not do this out loud when you get the reveal under the theater's helmet. I get this in the shopping image.
Yeah. With the broken mouthpiece, I would be like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Now, very mind I saw the second time. That's when I started making all of the MSC3K jokes during it.
I think Luke Skywalker should have gotten a universe book of world records for best times he was a C-fighter. He's been hiding for a long time. He's been hiding for a long time. You know the irony of you saying Guinness on that one, right?
Alec and his role in that movie? He did. He wasn't happy about that. No, he was not.
Who gives a shit? Well, he is now. No. Too soon?
Come on. He's not like 30 years ago. It's like, hold on, spoilers. Vaders lose to that.
No, I like the joke and the venture brothers were two of the counselors, like their impressions of Alec Guinness, that are doing drunk Alec Guinness's most character's voices. I am curious to see how she got a whole, what's your name, the bartender lady? Got a hold of Luke. Maz, whatever.
Yeah, Maz. It's Maz. How's she got a hold of Luke's lights? They talk about this, it's the same way that people collected like the artifacts of the Empire that just sat down for a room.
Or like how the millenniums talking past three different smuggler people. I just like that they did. The Irving Brothers, which by the way, not a black name, would be a name in maybe Miller's cross, cross, cross. Miller's cross.
Well, I mean worst porno ever. Or best. He just fucks in his hat on the front. I'm praying to you.
See? I'm just gonna be a cat and fuck me with it. Sorry. Okay.
Let's go. I do like that they have the fact that Han and Chewy found the Millennium Falcon because they've been looking for it. It wasn't a random happenstance. Because if it was a random happenstance, I would have been like, oh shit.
But yeah. I liked the styling of it because the colors were so close to Original's religion. Absolutely. Like it looked.
They didn't, but they did switch the laser, um, laser colors. Yeah. Because a lot of the type of shooting red, they always shot blue and green. And not that like that room before me by any means.
I'm just saying. But I mean, it's like they gave me technology to develop, you know, new laser. But it's just all those things. It's like the spectrum always had a little bit more yellow and red in it.
And I feel like they got it. Exactly. Exactly. There were cooler colors, cooler temperature wise, whereas the vampire was red.
It was black. Which, thanks empire Nazi scene. No shit. Fuck.
I knew they were metaphors in the first of all movies. But they were like, oh, no. I almost looked at my just moment. So yeah.
I was kind of, I was in there like I was very dick on me. I was giving you speech. I was like, well, that's a very hitler-esque. And then you know, all the search troopers are very like, ah, stick their hands up there.
Yeah, there's no subtlety on that one. Between the red banners, the logo on it. I will say we got big ones. Next thing you know, we're going to start tattooing rebels with the fucking numbers on our arms.
Oh. Do you rebel? Well, but technically the rebel already would wear the clones. Do all have numbers because it's FN, whatever he's a radio station.
He's like FN 103.1 or whatever it is. I'm going to spread you down. Cool empire rock. Bring you all the hits.
We're galaxy far, far away. I wasn't a new kitty jig just because of the fucking kreek version. I know. The two things I didn't like about it, which we didn't bring up off air.
Shut the fuck up. Do I not get a opinion on this? No, you're kidding. No, you're kidding.
It's not a question. I didn't like Rylo Kent. Rylo Ren. Rylo Ren.
Just wish those. Rylo Ren taking up his mask the first time in front of Rey. But I mean, it made sense in context of the scene where she's like, you know, basically- You're in nature where the mask is. He should have been like, fuck you.
No, because that's not a character. No, I'd like the sound effect they had with him releasing the mask. I guess that it made sense in context of the scene. Yes, it wasn't as shocking.
But I mean, it's not like the reveal is basically Han or Leia's face. He looks like he could be their kid, but it's not like a crazy resemblance. He did. There was enough that I was like, yeah, I didn't kind of see it.
And then two, and we've talked about this off air, that one long crane shot, sort of the last thing to the film, or the last shot of the film. What's a helicopter shot? It's not a crane. It's a helicopter shot of Rey handing- I'm always handing him very charitable because they're like 80 feet apart.
He would have literally forged grab that thing to make it fucking pop. Well, he also does it in the entire time. He turns around, but he does not raise a single appendage. Maybe he's got no hands.
He does. Oh, no, he does the- He takes it off the regular hand. See the robot hand and you see the regular hand. He's a great hand.
They do a pan. He takes it off with both hands. He speaks in the camera. He took it off with both hands.
The funny thing is, do you think that he heard her walking off and he's like, okay, I know exactly where I want to stand? Why is he felt her? I mean, in terms of a force, he'd be like, he felt her in his room. Which makes it weird when she's his daughter.
Well, you know, he gets his sister. Twice. You guys have seen the Game of Thrones Star Wars. That's what I mean, right?
Kissing my brother once. That's cute. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaking of memes in Twitter, look up the emo Kylo Ren. Oh, no, I saw it. Allarious. I did like- It's a little raw.
It's a talk topic. Didn't like Finn at all. And I know in the next one he's going to be the romantic interest of Rey, which- I think it's weak writing and weak acting. I hope so.
I would actually prefer him not to be. I'd like him to go against the grain and not do romantic action. I did love the way they had her. I want to see her banjoey.
Okay, that's creepier. Inner species of Veronica. He didn't strike me like a knife-muncher. Actually, I'd see her being gay.
Did you notice that a lot? Did you notice that weird amount of Chewie's hands in this one? Yeah. Yeah.
It's just wearing like OJ gloves, but I mean- They didn't fit? They did. Well, the guy's like- I don't. He's a big dude.
I did like the way they kept having her- like when they were running away from the initial swan troopers in Jakku, and he grabs her hands and pulls her. And she's like- I didn't do that. You're holding my hand. What are you doing?
I'm helping you. I can run without you holding my hand. And then at the one point she goes grab my hand. He picks her up.
She picked him up. The more I think I'd like it if she was gay. I don't think they'll have a bisexual at all actually, because she's gonna be a Jedi. Yep.
I mean in the books, yes, I know they're not canon anymore. Luke ends up marrying Mara. Right. And then they struggle for quite some time to have a child.
Well, Inner species are rather good. No. That's because the last person he made out was a sister. Like that- I mean- That rima dick.
That rima dick. That'd break a dick. And I don't think Uncle Baru or Uncle Owen ever taught him the birds and the bees. Oh my god, Tashu's agent gets a paladin birders.
They're like maybe she watched some more. He just- he has the perfect amount of wine in that line. It's just the teenage angst for the ages. If by power you mean- Vibrator batteries?
No, I was gonna go for the gay man spa pool thing. You could've just said back house. Look at that weird apps I came out this year. It was one.
It was one that's literally scrubbing a man's back. It's part of the trilogy of gay video games. Because the same developer came out with another one you have sex with your car. I don't really remember that.
Same guy. Made one. I can't remember the thing about it literally. You watch the- You watch the guys back.
It was fucking weird. Really? Look at this shit. It was very popular.
Right. We have more thoughts on Star Wars. Um. I'd like to figure out- We're at almost an hour.
Just you know. Okay. Um. Po was okay.
I'm just glad- I'm not seeing Oscar Isaac rape or robot in this movie. Yeah. Totally. That's right.
Like eventually he's gonna look at C-3PO like- I'm gonna grow a beard and rape you. Like I did like that they actually made a point to have you know other races involved. You know there's Asians in Star Wars now. I did like the fact that Admiral Ackbar was still alive.
And the guy that flew with- Yeah. Linda from Louisiana. Yep. Uh, Nip number one of the fuck his name is.
The one they summoned in venture brothers. No, they actually called him a fish lips. Cause- Yeah, they're actually murderers. Yeah, they're trying to mouth.
Mm-hmm. That one. Well, like I said, I did like that they still had some of the characters from Rebellion still involved. Yeah.
Cause I mean, if you think about it logically, yeah, they'd still be there. They'd still be like- Of course, a goddamn general. I mean- Admiral? Sorry.
I love them they go. Wasn't that big like here? Like you're over the rebellion and Shema girl's- Yeah. Like the nom they did to Leia not being a princess anymore?
Yeah. She's always making a mix on Sato. Yeah. She's always working, really doing it.
Yeah. She's always working, really doing it. Yeah. She's always working, really doing it.
Yeah. But it's just like she doesn't go by Princess Leia anymore. Yeah. She's channel.
I can't remember the last name they gave me. Organa. Yeah. Organa?
Yeah. I guess she was adopted by what's his name- Organa. Smiths. Jimmy-Smiths.
Yeah. Yeah. I was worried initially when I was like, okay, I know that's not great. So it's me instead of a small moon flying around and blowing shit up.
It's a giant fuck off planet. How the hell you move a planet without like... But they don't. No, they powered off the Sun, which I think is really cool because the original two dust are powered off kind of crystals.
Crystals were part of the focus of the laser. But instead they suck energy into it from the Sun. And then fire it basically across space. Which is amazing.
And I did what it looked like a comet. Which I know it was like I said, I was appropriate where people noticed, you know, this three in the sky. And of course, there was whether the intentional or unintentional. Um, Kevin Smith.
Oh, sanitation? Yeah, Kevin Smith referenced where he talks about like, I don't care how they put in the toilets. And he was in sanitation. Yeah, they were talking about how the Empire had to hire independent contractors.
I did like that. What is that? What is that? Sensantation.
What? You think Star Trekers don't have a solid toilet? I think I was white suits and blast, killing here. Yeah.
I did like actually that the Star Trekers actually shot ship this time around. I did like the Star Trek. They weren't like ECs, guys, and just got a sweep. I also did like the Finn trying to find a blaster and the whole attack on the varsity.
Yeah. He kept hunting because when they take away the lightsaber and Shui's crossbow. Um, he manages to recover the lightsaber, but he grabs a blaster. He's like, he says that really goes, I know how to shoot.
I need a weapon. You have a weapon. I was a little if she went when mods said that because I'm like, you know what I mean? He is four cents a.
Oh, so why do we do? He's not a spectrum. Do. Ryan, can we want to talk about stretch this week or do we want to wait until that one?
No, we're not stressed this week. Oh, can we wait until next week? We need to promise you will watch it. I will watch it.
Okay. Okay. I had to wait until now though, do Star Wars. So this week, we're not watching stretch this week.
I'm just talking about it in a theater release. They should have forgotten it. Oh, yeah. It's it's it's it's a hidden gem.
It's on Netflix. You can't listen. Okay. By the way, just, you know, I think somebody got pregnant in there.
Obviously. Tell your mom. I tell you mom. Hi.
Just just watch stretch because once you're done watching stretch, you will feel like you got squat fucked by Satan. That's what you posted. Yeah. So he keeps that he won't stop saying.