135: 5 reasons respectful parenting is so hard

This episode grew out of a post that long-time friend of the podcast, Dr. Laura Froyen, published in a respectful parenting group that we both work in as admins.  In the post she asked people to share how they felt before and after they discovered respectful parenting, and then she created a word cloud of the results.   The words in the 'before' cloud were perhaps predictable - things like 'worried,' 'overwhelmed,' 'resentful,' and 'guilty.'   And the most common word in the 'after respectful parenting' word cloud?   Exhausted.   What on earth is going on here?   In this episode I explore five important reasons why respectful parenting is so hard - and what to do about each of them.   Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits If you want to make your own transformation from a relationship where your child JUST DOESN’T LISTEN to one where you have mutual care and respect for each other’s needs, then the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop is for you. Go from constant struggles and nagging to a new sense of calm & collaboration. I will teach you how to set limits, but we'll also go waaaay beyond that to learn how to set fewer limits than you ever thought possible. Sign up for the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop.   Click the banner to learn more.   Jump to highlights: 01:00 Why we find parenting so hard 01:18 Most prominent words before parents discovered respectful parenting 01:58 Five reasons respectful parenting can be hard 03:03 1st reason: Our needs that our parents just didn’t see despite doing the best they could 05:22 The trauma of unmet needs 06:09 2nd reason: The long game that is respectful parenting 08:54 Our culture trains us to want results 09:56 3rd reason: Our values and what we want to do in an ideal world 10:39 Alfie Kohn’s Unconditional Parenting 13:38 Our child's behavior brings up old trauma 14:10 Shifting the way we see our children 15:12 4th reason: When we see these values that we want to live 16:37 The tendency to engage in negative self-talk 17:58 Self-compassion and mindfulness 19:11 The last (and perhaps not the last) reason 24:47 Super short summary information.