135: Your avoidant partner doesn’t prioritise you…UNLESS you do THIS. episode artwork

EPISODE · May 26, 2026 · 16 MIN

135: Your avoidant partner doesn’t prioritise you…UNLESS you do THIS.

from The Anxious To Secure PODCAST · host Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach

grab your daily anxious-to-secure rewriting protocol so you no longer freak out when he pulls away. If you don’t feel like a priority in your relationship right now, with your dismissive avoidant partner… this episode will feel like a mirror 🪞💔 Because you have communicated your needs. You’ve tried to explain. You’ve tried to get closer. And somehow… they shut down more. They pull away. They get defensive. And suddenly you feel like you’re competing with their work, friends, sport, routines… even their DOG 🐶⛈️ Here’s the truth nobody explained clearly: It’s not that you don’t matter. And it’s not that they don’t love you. It’s a nervous system dynamic  In this episode, I break down: ➞ Why avoidant partners pull away when you try to get closer ➞ Why “trying harder” actually creates MORE distance ➞ Why your anxiety gets activated so fast (and feels SO real) ➞ The hidden childhood wound behind “I’m not a priority” 🩹 ➞ What actually makes your partner feel safe enough to come closer ➞ And how to start shifting the dynamic without chasing or shutting down You’ll start to see something important: Your partner isn’t prioritising “against you”… they’re prioritising what feels emotionally SAFE for them 🖤 And your nervous system is reacting to what feels like abandonment… even when the situation is not what your younger self experienced 🌪️ I also walk you through the first step of emotional self-regulation that helps break the cycle in real time — especially in those moments when you feel triggered, anxious, and ready to reach for reassurance again. This is where everything starts to change 🧘🏼‍♀️🌈 Not by controlling them. But by learning to come back to YOU first. Because when you stop chasing safety externally… the entire relationship dynamic starts to soften    If this episode hits home, you’re not alone in it. Change starts here. Thought by thought. Action by action. Episode by episode xx Jula    DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.     Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.  

grab your daily anxious-to-secure rewriting protocol so you no longer freak out when he pulls away. If you don’t feel like a priority in your relationship right now, with your dismissive avoidant partner… this episode will feel like a mirror 🪞💔 Because you have communicated your needs.You’ve tried to explain.You’ve tried to get closer. And somehow… they shut down more.They pull away.They get defensive.And suddenly you feel like you’re competing with their work, friends, sport, routines… even their DOG 🐶⛈️ Here’s the truth nobody explained clearly: It’s not that you don’t matter.And it’s not that they don’t love you. It’s a nervous system dynamic  In this episode, I break down: ➞ Why avoidant partners pull away when you try to get closer➞ Why “trying harder” actually creates MORE distance➞ Why your anxiety gets activated so fast (and feels SO real)➞ The hidden childhood wound behind “I’m not a priority” 🩹➞ What actually makes your partner feel safe enough to come closer➞ And how to start shifting the dynamic without chasing or shutting down You’ll start to see something important: Your partner isn’t prioritising “against you”…they’re prioritising what feels emotionally SAFE for them 🖤 And your nervous system is reacting to what feels like abandonment…even when the situation is not what your younger self experienced 🌪️ I also walk you through the first step of emotional self-regulation that helps break the cycle in real time — especially in those moments when you feel triggered, anxious, and ready to reach for reassurance again. This is where everything starts to change 🧘🏼‍♀️🌈 Not by controlling them.But by learning to come back to YOU first. Because when you stop chasing safety externally…the entire relationship dynamic starts to soften    If this episode hits home, you’re not alone in it. Change starts here.Thought by thought. Action by action. Episode by episode xx Jula    DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.     Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

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135: Your avoidant partner doesn’t prioritise you…UNLESS you do THIS.

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This episode was published on May 26, 2026.

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grab your daily anxious-to-secure rewriting protocol so you no longer freak out when he pulls away. If you don’t feel like a priority in your relationship right now, with your dismissive avoidant partner… this episode will feel like a mirror...

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