137. The Two-Lunch Kid

I don’t remember ever having an easy relationship with food. Food was my comfort, my reward, and my hiding place. I was a middle child with three brothers, and I was the only one who couldn’t escape a problem with food and weight. As soon as I could ride a bike, I headed straight to the corner store for food. As a first grader, I figured out how to use my allowance money to buy two school lunches, and as a teen with my first paycheck and a driver’s license, my car became what I called my “mobile eating unit.” At college, with unlimited food plans in both the cafeteria and my fraternity house, my freshman 15 expanded to a freshman 40. By 23, I was supposed to be living my best years, but at 310 pounds, my world was shrinking fast. I couldn’t walk up stairs without getting winded, and I avoided life whenever I could. Every night I promised myself I’d change; every morning I failed again.  I first came to a Twelve-Step program in 1994, but it took years before I truly surrendered. Then, in 2007, my mortality was on the table. I was pre-diabetic with sleep apnea and on the cusp of needing blood pressure and cholesterol medications. Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) became my lifeline. In FA, I found structure, accountability, and freedom. Through weighed and measured meals, sponsorship, and working the Twelve Steps, the obsession with food began to lift. I lost over 100 pounds, but more importantly, I found peace. FA didn’t just change the way I ate– it changed how I live, how I love, and how I show up in the world. Today, I live with gratitude, acceptance, and a sense of purpose; and I remain committed to this path, one day at a time.