138. When You Finally Stop Trying to Be Chosen

In this deeply honest episode, I share the emotional turning point that came when I realised how much of my life had been shaped by the unconscious need to be chosen. Chosen in love. Chosen in friendships. Chosen in work. Beneath it all was a nervous system wired for survival, constantly scanning for signs of rejection and trying to secure safety through approval.I talk about the grief of recognising how much energy goes into performing, proving, and striving to be enough — and the quiet but powerful shift that begins when you stop fighting for your worth. This episode explores what it feels like to release the old identity built around pleasing and achieving, and how real healing begins when you start choosing yourself, even when it feels uncomfortable or unfamiliar.We explore the somatic layers of this pattern, the ancestral echoes of abandonment and conditional love, and the relief that comes when you allow yourself to soften into your own presence. This is a conversation about self-trust, emotional maturity, and the courage it takes to step out of survival mode and into a more grounded way of being.WORK WITH ME 1:1:❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support:https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewformDOWNLOAD FOR FREE:Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinayt.com/stay-or-go-guideAttatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinayt.com/attachment-practice Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinayt.com/connect-and-groundAlive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinayt.com/alive-and-alignedTrigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinayt.com/trigger-2-rooted VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:https://marinayt.com/resourcesCONNECT WITH  ME:Follow me on Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠⁠ Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner Top Episode Quotes:“I realised how much of my life was organised around trying to be chosen.”“When you stop performing for love, you begin to feel what’s actually underneath.”“It wasn’t rejection I was afraid of — it was the loss of safety my body associated with it.”“There is a quiet power in choosing yourself that no external validation can replace.”“Healing is not about becoming someone new. It’s about finally allowing yourself to be who you already are.”self worth healing, somatic healing, nervous system regulation, people pleasing, abandonment trauma, emotional healing, choosing yourself, trauma recovery, inner child healing, survival mode, authentic self, attachment wounds, feminine healing, personal growth, somatic therapy, emotional maturity, self trust journey