14 - All Bad Brandons

It's real good, real good, you're real good, you're real good, you're real good, you're real good, you're real good, you're real good, you're real good, you're really good, you're real good, you're real good, you're real good. That's right ladies and gentlemen, hello and welcome back to Real Good Show! I'm assuming you have been just listening to the previous episode and now you're back to this one, welcome back! Or maybe it was a week break, who knows, this is the worst intro ever, but you know what, we're keeping it, because that's the kind of show it is today, almost didn't even happen today, because traffic was so terrible, but we're here, god damn it!

and you better enjoy it because it's gonna be a good one. It's jam-packed. There's so many stories to discuss. Why am I even still talking with you once again?

Episode 14, by the way. Justin Morrison and with me, as always, is... Jesus Christophan Heck. The intro's just getting better and better.

I'm John Cullen and I vote worse and worse. Well, but the tone of voice for better. Oh, oh, because you're the star-cast. Okay, I get it.

It was a sarcasm. Yeah, I'm not good at that. Yeah, I mean, the intro this week was not great. As you said, but I do like the idea that we're like, because I made fun of you previously for making it sound like we're always returning from a radio commercial.

So I like the idea that the previous episode of our podcast is the radio commercial for this episode of the podcast. That's right, we're back. It's another episode of this shitbag show. I just feel very rushed today because traffic was horrible.

Get in here and you have a show a little later on this evening. So, you know, I know. Tight squeeze. This is literally the only time this week we could have done it.

Judging by the intro, it sounds like you think that, like if someone's listening to like 10 episodes in a row, they're gonna assume we recorded them all in a row as well. Yeah, well, that's not what happens. And like we see into the future. Like we're talking about stuff that happened on October 5th, but we recorded it on June, whatever.

Whenever we started this thing, I don't even remember. Back June to the right after the draft, I wanna say the 27th is our first. Sure, I have no fucking idea. Although I will say we're back in Stefan's kitchen today for the first time since the first two episodes.

No dog has time to stop us. No dog and it's definitely not nearly as hot in here. So that was like, yeah. So it's nice.

Yeah, and the last time we were here, we were of course ranting and raving about Phil Kessel and Zach Cassian. And there will be some more Cassian discussion later on in this episode, probably a little bit more subdued than my rage out of the week. Probably out of time. Co-kane.

Back in episode two. I can feel my face when I'm with you. I can't feel my face when I drive my drive into a pole. He wasn't technically he wasn't driving.

Well, that's what they say, but can you believe it? No. I crashed and then got out and made the girls switch to before we got there. Now don't you say that about it?

It's like extremely fast. A million percent. That's absolutely what happened. I think that's what happened.

I mean, you don't normally go into the NHL's substance abuse program for being a wasted passenger. Yeah. I mean, I'm just throwing it out there. I mean, he's got issues that go beyond that.

And we can save that for a little bit later in the show. Or we can get into it right now because that seems to be what we're doing. Who cares? Whenever we ever like.

Yeah. Well, we don't have a format either. So it's whatever. You brought it up.

And then I was like, well, Cassian is a guy who does some dumb shit. But then you did say we talked about it later. So I don't know. Now I know it's technically later.

Yeah, right now. By the definition of the word. Yes. But I was going to say good for you, John.

You had a major corona. No, it's not. I don't care about that. Yeah, no one cares.

Yeah, good for me. I mean, the defending Canadian champions. And then we lost in the final. And yeah, it was fine.

Now you're the 12th ranked team in Canada. Right. As of right now, yeah. For this year, the point standings were 12th.

Here's where 35th. OK, but you're on the rise. But you're on the rise in the world. And that's in the world.

So for the slams, it's the world where obviously the Canadian ranking is just Canada. So even on the world, curling tour, if you look at just Canadian teams, we're probably in the top 25 or so. So is it possible in the next couple of years if you keep this up? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think if we have really good results this year, we could be in a slam by the end of the year, possibly. But we got to keep it going. That's for sure.

So yeah, good for me. Who cares? It's curling. Yeah.

Well, we have some listeners asked on Twitter this week if there's going to be a chance that they could see you on TSN at some point during the rest. Well, if we make the Briar last year, we made the provincial final, which is broadcast nationally on Sportsnet. And then of course, the Briar is covered extensively by TSN. So if we were to win the province and be at the Briar, then yes, you would be able to watch me on TSN.

And Sportsnet also. Yeah, and Sportsnet. So maybe I could simultaneously record an episode of this show while curling at the Briar. Just join us on the phone.

Yeah, whatever. Yeah, absolutely. Well, good for you. Thank you.

And that's pretty much all that happened in the last of the three of us this week. I got kitten, but I don't know why. Why? Because my old cat ran off nine months ago, and I was so sad about that.

He decided to get a new one. OK. It's named Monty after Monty Python. And yeah, it's adorable.

So that's a pipe. That's a snake. I know. But he's a climber, so he could join the flying circus, probably.

I don't know. Just seem like a good name. I like it. Whatever.

I'm done talking about this. Good for me. Stefan, bad for you. You don't have any to talk about.

And we'll talk about Sportsnet. You must look weird holding a kitten. Really? Can I get a picture of that, actually?

Yeah, I would love a picture of you holding a kitten. You've got to post it on our Twitter. Can you have a tent coming in here? Yes.

Yeah, that'd be great. I want to cat to wear your beard. Like a wig? Yeah.

OK, I'll do that. You know what I think of when I think of Monty? I think of Tiny Toon Adventures. Yeah.

Or Mr. Burns. See my best. There you go.

Yes. See Monty Burns. What was your name? Max Monty and Tiny Toons.

Max Monty. Yeah. Good video game. Underrated video game.

For Game Boy even. For NES, NS, NES, and Game Boy. All of them are great. I think you and one especially was good.

But remember when we were going to talk about Sportsnet? No. No one listening to this is saying they're going, God damn it. They're off track.

I think they are. No, I don't think they are. That's a real list. That's a real list.

We're at episode 14. If you're still listening. And the numbers are going down. And please think we're going down.

No, not. What's happening? Where's the numbers keep going up? I don't know.

I think you've been too mad lately, John. I think you've yelled at people too much. And they are not. I just don't feel welcomed by the show.

I just don't want university students to listen to this. That's all I want. It's just stop. No, I'm just like our target.

Yeah, I'm just 100% joking. OK, lots of sports to get into in every different league this week. Can we yell at university students first? Our numbers actually going down.

I believe you. Yeah, no, they are. I don't understand why. I thought last week's episode was great.

If you listen to it, fuck you. What the hell? Maybe we'll read about it in split-sided or two weeks. But we'll begin with the NHL.

Zach Cassie, of course, we talked about that a little bit off the hop. He has headed into the NHL's substance abuse program, which not to say this sarcastically given how we throw this phrase around, but good for him, honestly. Because there's more to this than just a guy's playing career. Clearly the guy has some struggles in his life.

And then he's had off ice issues in his personal life in terms of being a bit of a dummy on the ice, and off of it at the same time, all the way back to Junior, and has not really been able to sort things out and then get his head on straight. And hopefully this is the wake-up call that he needs to really get right. Because beyond just enjoying him as a hockey player and a personality, which I did in all of his seasons with the Canucks, seems like a good guy, genuinely. And I would hope that beyond just being a hockey player, that he can just be a person who lives a long and healthy life.

I like any NHL player that's going bald. Yeah. Big fan. He's going to wave balls.

It's not really bad. I didn't realize how bad it was getting until I saw him in the preseason with Montreal. Yeah. Like this summer was really bad for him.

And missing a tooth as well, it just completes the look, especially for a power forward. That's what she wants. But hopefully after he does a substance abuse program, the only drug he takes is Rogaine. No, we don't want him to go to his hair back though.

Oh, that's right. We want him to go bald. I hope he pulls a gets-laff and wears a hat. I love that gets-laff finally last year just embraced that he was bald and stopped wearing a backward scap in all of his interviews.

And there was a lot of ugliness I found related to Zac Cassian going around on Twitter yesterday in terms of people just laughing that somebody has a substance abuse problem. Well, they're mostly from Edmonton. Or Canucks fans gloating about winning a trade and being like, I told you he was trouble. Or like, I got a text message.

You got Brandon Prox. We did not win that. He's not the play Brandon Prox. I got a text message being like, oh, he was really going to turn around in Montreal.

No distractions in Montreal. I never said that on the podcast. In fact, there's probably more distractions in Montreal than any other NHL city in the entire league. Club Supersex.

Yeah. So if the guy wants to go out and have some drinks, we talked about this. I thought he was just a drinker. I had heard that he was notorious for going to the Roxy.

I didn't know that he liked to indulge in the nose candy, allegedly. And it's not particularly funny. It's not fun. But I hope he can turn it around.

And right now he's seemingly become like the new poster child for like the NHL's recreational drug problem. Yeah, that's apparently now just a thing. Yeah. The TSN did a like no one ever watched Kyle Wellwood.

I had the expose yesterday on their website. And I heard James Duffy on the radio today being like, cocaine is back in a big way. It went away for a long time. But now it's back.

And people are doing it again. It didn't go away. It's a bunch of young famous dudes with millions of dollars back in the way. It went away for a real long time.

Come on, exactly. Did cocaine go out of style with young people with money to throw around? Yeah, it did. It didn't.

Yeah, no. Zero chance. I mean, yeah, like I said, we've seen Danny Heatley's career. We've seen these guys.

You're like, oh, he might. And then they just go way down. You know, even going back like six years to 2009, 2010-ish, I feel like the Canucks got rid of a ton of guys all at the same time who all had that same party reputation. And that's probably not just a reflection of like five or six guys in the Canucks locker room, but probably five or six guys, at least in like every locker room in the league.

Oh, yeah. Not just like right now, but over the last decade and probably even before that, too. I know that there were some guys who played in the late 90s, early 2000s, Matt Barnaby was on Twitter yesterday, I think being like, cocaine was never a thing back in my day. Like guys would drink.

Guys were luscious. They'd be getting drunk all over the place. But drugs, nobody did drugs, not that I saw anyways. And it's like, I don't believe you.

I don't believe you at all. I don't believe that. Well, how many baseball players said that? Well, I've never seen needles in the locker room.

I've never seen anyone take steroids. And then it's like five years later. Yeah, pretty much everybody was on steroids from 95 to 2004. But like around the time that like Shane O'Brien got traded away from the Canucks, I feel like a lot of guys got traded at the same time that all had this knock of a party lifestyle.

Which essentially means going to the rock scene doing blow. Yeah, of course. I don't know why I feel like I have to say allegedly. We're pot test.

No lawyers or listeners. But you know, Grappner, Rippin, Shane O'Brien, probably some other guys too that I can't remember off the top of my head. I got dealt at the same time because they all just like, like to go out and have a good time too much. And this is not a new thing.

They don't test for it, which is a little bit strange. Well, then they kind of like they do, but they don't punish you or whatever. They started doing like anonymous testing for recreational drugs just to see. And then Bill Daley was like, oh, well, if it's a problem, then sometimes we break that wall of anonymity and contact the player like judging by your piss, you're taking a shit ton of code.

But yeah, wasn't on the band's stuff since this list or something where it wasn't playing at the ground. Yeah, which is kind of weird. Yeah, well, and that's the thing, especially for guys who like to drink Coke allows you to drink more. And again, sometimes you need an upper before the game or whatever, who knows?

I mean, I doubt very many guys are doing it before they play, but you never know. I mean, Todd Fedorik actually had a good quote today. He's a former NHL enforcer. And he was saying like, well, he's like, a lot of guys use it because we're not going to get called on it.

And even if we do, most of the time, we're pretty good guys. Like we're saying about Cassidy. And like, most of the time people just kind of look out and like, oh, he's a good, you know, he's just like a good old Canadian boy hockey player. He's a good guy.

So yeah, I mean, he probably shouldn't be using cocaine, but like, ah, you just look at that little guy. You don't have to be a hockey player in Canada or the United States to be using cocaine and gun. No, of course not. This is not like, oh, those athletes, they're like athletes.

The population of athletes is a representation of the population at large. And these are societal issues. We can't pretend that they don't exist in pro sports. Yeah, of course not.

You can though, if you want. Well, yeah, if you want. Our bossy-good and pure. It seems like they have been for the past little.

We know a lot of people that like to pretend that athletes don't do anything wrong ever. Yeah. And we talked about that a few episodes ago. Yes, we certainly did.

I don't know when the fliers cleaned their locker room out of their party problems in terms of like, you know, Lupal and Carter and Richards all getting dealt out of there at the same time. But same sort of rumors there as well. And Mike Richards is another poster boy for the NHL's like drug problem. I think he got busted with Percocet.

There's painkillers. Painkillers. Painkillers. Yeah.

Because like, I wrote about this extensively on Twitter yesterday. It's a physical game. And guys are killing themselves for a living. Not to the same extent that maybe football players are.

But depending on your role and the style of game you play, kind of to that same extent. And it's unreasonable to expect that people are not going to become addicted to painkillers or recreational drugs as a way of managing pain problems. Oh, totally. The schedule is crazy.

And when you think about the fact that probably on any given night, every single player is dealing with some type of injury. Whether it's just general soreness or an actual targeted specific injury. Yeah, of course. You're dealing with that all the time.

And then you're on the road. And you're sleeping in foreign beds. And you're switching time zones, especially if you're playing with the Canucks and you're switching time zones back and forth all the time. And so it takes a toll on your body, that's for sure.

And I have so many problems with the LA Kings. And we joked on this show in the past about the criminality of that organization and all the problems that they've had in the last year or so. And we've mined that for laughs. Ultimately, it's not all that funny, really.

If we're being serious and not like, that was sports or goofy, aren't they? It is funny to make fun of the Kings as an organization. But I have huge problems with the way that they just voided that Mike Richards contract. Because let's be real about that.

They didn't have a problem with Mike Richards' drug problem. Here's coming to Rampage. Are you feeling it? He's about to say.

They didn't have a problem with his drug issues. They had a problem with him underperforming for what they were paying him and decided to use that as an excuse to get out of that contract and ease their salary cap situation. That's what they did. And it's fucking despicable, honestly.

It is absolutely ridiculous. There it is. It is though. Because whatever personal problems he might have had away from the rink, if it's mental health issues, whatever, there's also the battering that your body takes.

And Percocet, like we said, is a pain killer. He was addicted to high level pain killers. The game made him this way and then it abandoned him when he bought him that. And that's fucking bullshit.

You can't do that to people. You have a responsibility as an organization and as a league and as a players union to step in and take care of someone in that situation. Not fucking void his contract and be like, oh, our salary caps looking sweet now. Nice.

It's been a few episodes. I feel bad for laughing because I agree with everything you're saying. But it was also really great. It's very true.

But I love seeing you get worked out. It's awesome. Well, it's funny because you posted basically that verbatim on your Facebook a couple days ago. And I'm like, he is going to basically say, he's going to Rampage about this on the podcast.

I feel it coming. But you're totally right. I mean, and the weird thing about the Richard's thing is that just never happened before. Like there's no precedent for that.

Like there's lots of people who have had substance abuse issues or off ice issues or personal issues or whatever. And we've never seen a team in the NHL at least just void a contract because of those issues. Because he is not acting in a manner that has become in for a player of this organization. Now, beat your wife, whatever.

We'll stand by you all the way until you get deported. But I thought with Percassette, buddy, get the fuck out. Is he just out of the league right now? I don't want this.

Yeah, Richard is out. Yeah, I don't think he even got any tryouts or anything this year. He's just been disappeared, basically. And that's a guy who was in the Stanley Cup final three times in a span of five years or something like that.

A little bit cold metal. I do want to bring up my favorite instance of honest trash talking I've ever seen. And this kind of goes against the grain of weird being all nice and serious and stuff. But it was when Alex Burrows scooped up the snow on the ice on the plate and held it up to Richard's nose.

That's just next level. That's unreal. But it should have done that. No, no, no.

You know what? I know we were just making a big deal of how serious it is. But that is what it's something we'll give it up for that. I think my favorite trash talk is that I've heard in the NHL was Clodgeroo when he just very casually skated by Phil Castile.

He was like, hey, Phil, have you had a Coke today? Like not cocaine, but like a Coca-Cola. And Phil was like, huh? And he's like, have you had a Coke today or a Pepsi?

Phil's like, what? And then they dropped the puck. And he just starts. Well, Alex Burrows, do you remember who it was?

I think it was a member of the Detroit Red Wings. He was ripping on him for being a potato farmer. That's also a classic. Oh, it was Aaron Downey.

That's what I thought. Aaron Downey. Yeah, because he actually does. He's never been on the road.

Because he actually does own a potato farmer. And Burrows did the research before the game. Research is always key. It was in the opening like warm up skated whenever Burrows skated by him and said, hey, go back to your potato farm.

Well, he's probably going to have a better post NHL career than Burrows realistically. Pretty much. Yeah, that's pretty great. But you do a weekly interview segment for Schnar.

I used to call the magical question fun time. And you're talking to the guys about beaking other players. And a ton of research does go into the best. And guys at every level, junior A, whatever, like college.

Absolutely research goes on. Yeah, like finding out who the guys' girlfriends are, making jokes about that, stuff like that. I've heard rumors of cell phones being brought on the bench and texts from that girl and the player being shown to the other player on the ice. My favorite answer to that, though, was Parker Bowles, who plays for the Tri-City Americans.

Very talented player. And he said that he just likes to ask really ridiculous questions off the face off just to like more disarm guys. He doesn't do any trash talking whatsoever. He'll just go to the face off and he'll ask a guy, if he wants to trade sticks.

And the guy'll be like, what? And he'll be like, can I just use your stick? And the guy'll be like, what the fuck? And then the puck gets dropped.

He's like, the guy stands in the early, what the hell you're talking about. And then also, another good instance of that was when I asked the question to Jackson Playfair. Very funny guy. He's now playing for Dollhouse.

He played for Tri-City in Spokane. And he said that he wouldn't tell me the player, but that he told him that he was a shorter player on another team. And he told him that Willy Wonka was calling him to go back to the Chocolate Factory. And then I found out three episodes of Magical Question Fund time later that it was tie-roining.

His tie-roining said that he was like, oh, he's like, I don't really beak at anybody. But one of the funniest beaks, without reading my interview, with Jackson, he was like one of the funniest beaks I ever heard, because I think someone told me to go back to the Chocolate Factory. And then I was like, oh my god, it was Jackson Playfair. That's Clifronics.

That's Clifronics. Yeah. And he's like five to seven, or whatever. He's tiny.

So yeah. He scored his first WHO goal and celebrated so hard he fist pumped his glove off. And so then all the Giants started doing that all year. He does it as huge fist, then there's like video clips of it.

It's so funny. And he fist pumps and his glove just flies off. There's no way of looking cool after he do that. So yeah, so it just became this big joke on the Giants so guys would score goals and then just drop their gloves.

So yeah, it's good times. Trash talking. I love it. Junior hockey is getting kind of good way.

A lot more of that stuff. Oh yeah. It was the Kamloop Blazer. It's did Blazer to the NHL 94.

So a lot of different years ago. Yeah, they won a game, which is so awesome. Yeah, they had their six all in the air. And then they just like bumped bodies.

It's like an NHL. Is there video? Yeah, yeah. It's great.

OK, we'll post that on our Twitter and Facebook. We'll post on our show blog after episode 50. When we finally get the blog started. We're going to retroactively do a blog for every episode.

We can talk about hockey that's like on a little bit more of a positive note, because I mean, there are some positives. But I want to like, we've been extremely negative over the course of the summer about every single thing that the Canucks have done, basically. Stefan and I in particular. And John, that's to be expected of you.

Yeah. Fuck those. Those are so awesome. But I got to be at least a little bit positive about the things that are to be positive about.

But like the fact that you guys gave us ranking karate. That's not great. That's nothing to be negative about. We'll talk about that first.

The team basically choosing. It's doing a victory lap around the entire kitchen right now. With the microphone again, it's very impressive. OK, how many points for Karato this year do you think?

13. Yeah. I was supposed to step over under at 15, and John's taking the under. I'll take.

Yeah, but he's going to be on the team. It's great. They're already going to put him on the NHL team. I trust Mike Babcock when he just goes like, we saw him on Waver's.

I watched him tape. And I thought, yeah, I could be on my team right now. He looked like an NHL player two years ago. And then the year that.

It was literally one playoff game that he played is the reason he's Waver. Yes. The one he got swept by Nanao Zay. Amazing.

Down three, nothing. The four, nothing game. If he didn't play that game, he's still looking up right now. Yeah.

What is he going to comment? Well, yeah. Yes. Redding just not that smart.

Is he going to go? Because he was asked Point Blank, or Lyndon was asked, because Ben didn't want to do the talking on this one. No, of course. I believe it was Blake Price on TSN Radio.

Makes sense. Was said, pointed out that you could have just put Chris Higgins on a long-term injured reserve, sent down Ben Hutton to the minors, put Higgins on injured reserve, then called back Hutton and Karato and Hutton are both on the team. And you don't risk losing him for nothing. And Lyndon basically, Point Blank was like, yeah, we thought about that.

We knew we could do it. It sounded like he was hearing that idea for the first time. Yeah, of course. We just said, oh, yeah, no, we thought of that.

We knew that. We knew that. Yeah, for sure. We chose not to, which Ben spoke today being like, ah, I'm going to reach us that.

We thought that every better serve, no part of that. Well, a lot of the games. It's a really good Jim Bennett impression. No, this is a good Jim Bennett impression.

No, this is a good Jim Bennett impression. I know where I can live. We just did a lot of the beer, the number eight guy. Look at that shell.

Sorry. It is one of this. Oh, OK, I'm glad that's good. That was actually Jim Bennett.

Like Grimace from McDonald's. I don't think he has a voice, but just imagine that's what he sounds like. Yeah, it sounds like Lyndon's response was kind of like when you're like 12 or 13 years old and your friends are talking about sex. And they're like, and you're just like, and you're pretending not to hear it for the first time.

Yeah, do you like, I watched this video last night of a girl giving a guy a blow job. Like, if you ever like, do you want to blow, you're like, yeah, yeah, I know what a blow job. Yeah, I know what it is for sure. Well, it's like 40 year old Virgin.

It's like, like prices like, oh, so what's the inner reserve thing? He's like, oh, it's like a bag. Exactly. All right, I'll just put him on there.

And you're going to say, oh, we don't want to do that. I think at this rate, I don't know. Like I like some of the stuff that connects have done in the preseason. But if things keep going, is the first player that will get his number unretired by his own?

I hope so. Well, I think we talked about that in the past. Well, we talked about how they shouldn't have any of those numbers retired. So I say, I'm retired, all of them.

But you know, I'm quite excited about the fact that Jared McCann is on the team. He looks good. He looked like one of the best players in preseason. And it was one of those things where like, Oh, Hutton and McCann are lighting it up.

But are they going to be able to stick? Because we have these two fucking plugs that we never should have signed in the first place who are taking up the natural roster. Which cause you know, there's a lot of plugs that would be Lucas Biza and Brandon Sutter, who basically. I think I'm going to live in a little bit in a way or Brandon pressed.

Yeah. You guys got a lot of bad players. Yeah, plenty. Lots of lots of fun.

Lots of fun. All the Brandon's. I don't think there's a good Brandon out there. Maybe Brandon saw it.

Brandon saw it, I think. It's the only good. Do Binsky also. I'm not.

He's a good Brandon. So all the good Brandon's are in Columbus. We got all the shitty ones. And I'm like, I'm like imagining a commercial like just for NHL like, is your name Brandon?

Are you good at hockey? Columbus. Columbus. Columbus.

Ohio. We already have two quite good Brandon's. But we could use a third. You heard of Ryan Johansson?

We could use another winger. We tried to give him the change name to Brandon. We tried. He wouldn't do it.

That was why he held out last year. I'm not going to be Brandon Johansson. There's Brandon Peery on the Florida Panthers. He had 22 goals and two assists.

That's the scion. He must have won the scion. I like that. Pretty much.

But I guess the conocs have a history of shitty Brandon's brand and read also. Yeah. I like to remember that wrap around goal. Remember that game there?

He had like three points against the Panthers. He has a super helmet. He has a super helmet. Anything ever against.

He was like five foot four. Yeah. Remember everyone? Great.

Remember all the Jason's two? Jason Krog? That was one of my favorite NHL line names. The King on the Sineas.

The Mattress line? Yeah, it's great. King in two twins. I like that.

And speaking of Jason King, it's a cautionary tale not to get too excited about a rookie making a big flash in training camp such as Ben Hutton for example. They're both average. Barely average. Well, he was good for like 20 games.

And then this is you. Where did Ben Hutton come from? He played the AHL. No, he was drafted four years ago.

He was drafted four years ago. He was a Gillis draft. He played in the AHL playoff last year. And now he's like, okay, this is related to Carter.

Is that the Nashville Predators goal? That's correct. I remember that say he made last year. Unreal say against the Leafs.

Yeah. But you know, mechanic in the team. Fun. Brandon Sutter.

Brandon Sutter. No, uh, Susam Rigran. Brandon Sutter on Merit should be like the 13th forward right now. He should not be in the opening day.

Let's just put it this way. He would never play in Columbus. And they have him lined up on the first line next to the sedines, which is where he was in the final game of preseason. He looked like the worst sedine line made like ever.

Like honestly, he played Brookman. I was about to say. It was better as a sedine line made than Brandon Sutter who couldn't even take like the simplest of passes into the corner in that preseason game. But they're going to leave him there for the season opener against Calgary and leave Jake for Tana now because.

Because he's a bomb. Because what does the fun is a bomb? Go on. Like five episodes ago.

We should probably start talking with the Knapp. Yeah, probably. Let's talk about Yermi Rieogger grown as Mulled back because that's more fun than that. Oh my god.

Let's just say that it's great. Yeah. I'm not going to say bad. We all agreed that it's the best thing I've ever.

He said he was growing it back. And I'm the guy who was the Panthers beat writer George something. Stromblopolis? Yeah.

My name is George Richardson. Yeah, I'm here right. George Richards. I'm like, I'm growing the Mulled back.

Why? Why are you growing the Mulled back? Because the answer was because I have to. That's the only question.

I can't argue with that. I think the long ago was the one who started it. Yeah, it seems like he started it on like Twitter the day before and then Yagra the very next day and that's that he was pretty bad. Just think of any 18 year old check models he's going to crush now.

He's got a mullet going on. Yeah. Oh, man. That'd be great.

Yeah. Like a kitten. Yeah. Yeah.

Like a kitten. Yeah. Like a kitten. Yeah.

That's a callback. Ladies and Perfessional community. We'll move on from Rocky to the National Football League where there's a couple of things going on. And we'll begin with the Bennett Brothers because they both basically dropped if we had recordings for them like clip of the week material for us.

The one place baseball right? No, one place for the Bears and one place where Martelis is a tight end. Yeah, I know that. Yeah.

Michael Bennett is a defensive end for the six. Oh, yeah. Yes. And they didn't realize they were related.

They are brothers and they both had some of the greatest quotes that we will ever see. earlier in the week yeah my tell us is was on sunday uh... when they were playing uh... i don't know who the bears were playing on sunday there's played oakland yet oakland and they've done somehow is god damn sons of bitches they fucked up the whole pool and then it was asked about his quarterback jakotler and whether or not he is a game criticized too often and the quote that he gave patrick finney of the shop i was sometimes is they threw rocks at jesus and jesus was an excellent guy who did a lot of awesome stuff that that i can't really argue that now and then finley you can't finley after reporting that we uh...

report in a tweet when i'm to tweet before comparing jakotler to jesus martellus Bennett compared him to kyana reaves in the movie the replaced it which was a role akin to jesus was the other's gonna be can you read canary's in the matrix when he was playing like a christ-like figure yeah instead you can't do a fucking scab corner yes literally in the name of the movie the replacements a lot of the players are here and uh... jakotler is a lot like the best guy that they could find without going into the players but if uh... i uh... i mean yeah there's nothing there's literally nothing wrong with anything that he said there it reminded me to like i imagine him saying it with the tarello and it's like with a huge rap you drop out here here's coming up they make they talk about every week but that's what i call back uh...

i feel like michael bennett of the c-hocks was like simply trying to outdo the amazing absurdity and brothers quote the day before he ever i want to see like whether text message conversations are like between the two of our teles just text them on sunday night see if you can talk that one bitch and he definitely did yeah and i don't know all your videos unfortunately but i would actually maybe say this is the greatest sports court of all time potentially uh... so this is uh... michael bennett was asked about a detroit lines quarterback matthew staford and so this is before the game or after the end of greatest post-game court of all time uh... so michael bennett said he's from dallas they killed president uh...

john fennedy i hold that against him and the headline is just simply michael bennett holds jf ks s nation's lines that's that well he's in the film if you check the shooter film it's like sitting just chill or cuz well he was probably aiming somewhere else that's a good thing to accept the magic bullet oh my goodness you can't use this i don't know if you left yeah that's uh... i mean i like i don't i feel like a lot of people from shitty towns are also shitty and i talked about the podcast before but i love the idea of just blaming anyone for a tragedy that is happening that town well cuz i think um... what's his name uh... the carvios was from norland's yeah so i'm not going to also from louisiana too which makes it even funny that might as well but i blame i blame whoever and while we're talking about nfl quotes at the moment see this is also clippable here if there was a video of her reading that but new york chinese wide receiver victor cruises uh...

uh... tremendous when digging into his phone and uh... we've talked quite a bit on this program throughout uh... the run of the show uh...

side pieces side pieces seems to be a thing that just comes up a great moment you get if you have a youtube that drink side pieces of the s b's like you can again again again again side pieces and this time victor cruises the on say sent out a group test to every single one of his side pieces and victor cruises well yet or maybe she sent it from i think that you know i'm from victor cruises i don't think so i think that her phone it says that the topic of the two victor cruises yeah hello ladies this is a lana victor cruises the on say you all know about me and i seem to be the topic of conversations in all of your conversations with it i'm sure he's told you many of things about us and how we don't exist but given the fact that you all meet him in hotel rooms only we all know that just as he tells me you all are hoars and mean nothing to him i figured since you all know about me and i should introduce each one of you to each other so we can all know who we have all been fucking for the past several months so ladies meet one another and feel free to exchange notes kissy emoticons so so wait does that mean that just kind of a real relationship i just never met a hotel rooms was always a little bit of a girlfriend that's what i was the only one that's what i think i mean i didn't i really just like how honest it is yeah like well you know it's happening let's just uh... let's talk about we have some of the other things obviously she obviously doesn't care because she's obviously brought it up to him before he's like no no no baby this is always baby you know you're just hoars she's on the road i gotta you know how it is i like yeah no but i do see me salsa i do i do like how honest she was it's just like well this is happening i feel like there's a little bit of the best i can there's a little twinge of like mory influence in there too like when she drops the hotel room's line and because we all know that is a lot yeah i just get like more i didn't have to test proved that was a lot yeah that's great i really wish i could see the very next text message because she's like oh we should all discuss this or whatever and i just know like the next quote be like yeah that four-inch dick though or like whatever they talk well there's one screenshot there has to be more screenshot yeah exactly that's so hopefully by the next episode we don't even get a hold of this i have no idea one of the people in the group that's not gonna be like yeah this is hilarious yeah that's it is one last piece of NFL news before we move on to another league uh we've been in the past in the past league to league this week ladies and gents we've been asking the past away in on uh the the fan dual draft kings war and which side we fall on oh in the battle between the time yeah i think it was your body from film school i play daniel yeah i'm pretty sure i'm really yeah well i don't know i don't know why not for long yeah because fandoor and draft kings have been accused of crimes it do do do serious crimes and we're not just talking about their commercials ladies and gentlemen hey awful commercials that don't just play during football games but all the goddamn time on the internet on television you cannot avoid it but yes yes yes yeah one's a generous show yes the end's cutting down all like most of their ads now which is great so cool yeah so let's say is this never in time is this like a full tilt poker type thing they're being investigated by the new york attorney general in a letter to both companies attorney general erich t niderman shniderman shniderman demanded the names job titles and descriptions of any employees who aggregating compile a wide range of data that perhaps could be used to gain a personal advantage including ownership percentages and pricing algorithms mr shniderman did whatever a shniderman can uh shnider can i guess also demanded that the companies turn over details of any internal investigations into their employees including the one at the center of the current scandal even Haskell of draf king so basically a legend insider betting right okay which makes sense and i invented fanduil i would a thousand percent insider bet on it yeah and they were betting on so the fandu employees are betting on the track on draf kings and draf kings employees are always there's no there's a rule where they couldn't use their website but oh you can use the other website where the algorithms are probably very similar yeah of course so well and if you know starting percentages a lot easier to win tournaments yeah sure and uh yeah espn's dairon ravella famous for never having made a woman orgasm reported that according to a fanduil spokesperson draf kings employees have won 0.3 percent of all money ever won at fanduil do you know who this most person was by the way no it was justine saco oh nice remember that one really aids to aid suite one yeah really probably got a drop of fanduil and it's like well this is me nice it's a minor the radar exactly you're scandal justine you're up this is your area of expertise make this go away for us would you that's amazing good for her back on her feet real success story and according to ravella fanduil has given up close to two billion dollars in its history mean draf kings employees have won in the neighborhood of six million dollars assuming that justine saco is telling the truth and if they aren't telling the truth shniderman is going to find out uh yeah you can read more about this online but uh i think thank fucking god that somebody is doing something to get rid of these advertisements and these companies also but mostly the ads gonna happen to my money on fanduil this is terrible i gotta cash out immediately i'm gonna have to well that was like i remember there was such a great story like when um well not i mean not great for like the people involved but like i think went full tilt poker or whatever i think it was full tilt um but one of the major poker sites and i probably shouldn't get it wrong but i'm pretty sure it was full tilt it was co-owned by like a lot of like by a couple poker players professional poker players and then they got investigated for like tax evasion and the company like basically shut down and then one of their and so like a lot of people had their money like trapped in this website in the case of some professional poker players were talking like millions of dollars and uh so the idea i again we i really should be researching this but i'm a computer friend i think it was Todd Brunson Doyle Brunson who was like one of the co-owners and basically like he would still show up to tournaments and people would be like what the fuck man like i have a million dollars on your site and he would just give them like ten thousand dollars cash and be like i'm sorry like i'm trying like whatever and if they kept pressing him at that point as a bluff he would just shit his pants with diarrhea and i could call that yeah it's awesome must have a good hand so i i got a question how did you plan fandual fandual how and why did you pick fandual over to great question uh i don't really know i i think i didn't even really know that drafkings existed for whatever reason i just heard of fandual i have to just been blasted by no i honestly i don't i don't watch tv that often and uh i go i check uh um roto world a lot for and they they have a deal with fandual so i think i just went from there drafkings is like advertises heavily on podcasts oh okay not this podcast obviously no one advertises on this podcast but if you like to at real good pot or no real good pot at gmail dot com give us some of that sweet sweet have we got any emails to that uh just just that one that we got several weeks ago then that's it the rest of it is all just twitter notifications let me know when people follow us so should probably turn those notification emails off to um regarding because we want to keep getting email that's set up that account so we could get emails absolutely that's the key because there is literally no other way to contact us so please email because no one is using any other forms of communication is 2015 anything else in the NFL this week i think that'll do i don't even know i don't honestly don't know what we're talking about like you bring up the topic i just this is probably the most sports heavy and more than so much stuff happening too many topics you have three NFL if you can move into the NBA now oh here we go so NBA preseason game in Vancouver this past sunday you went no i didn't hear about it i really wanted to mark arol i wanted to go so bad it's my two favorite to the clippers the clakers and the rapers face jam reading at the time play each other whatever i wanted to go so bad uh but i just couldn't uh couldn't make it work couldn't afford it there's none of the people have donated to our page there you go that's good patreon.com slash real good show and jusson still owes me money so please donate to patreon i'm going to be collecting his share of the patreon money for the next several months uh but there was a great turnout they announced like 19 000 fans in the building um i looked a little bit like there were some empty seats in the lower bowl on tv i watched the first half of it but it was on tv yeah it was on tssn2 i didn't even know about this yeah until just now they're really billboards all over town for a month well i know i know i know they have i don't know it was a yearly thing i thought it was every so often yeah they last year they did the fuck brooklyn the raptors against the sacramental kings i believe that is sold out actually yeah which is yeah and that's what happened is people went last year and they went dear christ sabramento everyone vomited and then those like people didn't come back so to try and turn over no one to come see lob city on their tours lob city lob lob city right now they just came up with that thank you for game it's the raptors who are going all over Canada yeah yeah they're playing games and such hubs as saskatoon's to schedule it was kind of nice so it's all hotbed to hear like the the nba analysts on tssn you know doing the play-by-play for the game and though at the same time really what the fuck else are they gonna say uh then just like i really think that basketball could do well here if it were to come back then it should go back because it's a completely different market than when it was when the team left and let's like the team didn't leave because the market was shitty the team left because the dollar was shitty and the team was shitty and the owner was yeah basically yeah the whole thing i like uh that just made me think of like doc rivers came out today and said that he thought there should be a team in vancouver as well oh really and i was just thinking of like jamey foxes impression of doc rivers on the gfowlan show just so funny you can like never catch him in a live it's like we did we did i don't know what we sucked but i don't know i don't know what to tell you you think there should be a team in vancouver yeah i do yeah i played here and it was nice there should be a team here i love it yeah i mean like yeah to like i feel like the the mystique of players like desperately not wanting to play in canada i don't know if that's really a mystique it's kind of like an obvious fact yeah i don't know the mid 90s anymore not anymore but it does still mark early talked about it he said that when he was with the white socks he would have never played for toronto really he was like yeah he's like a lot of and that's how he's like it's unfortunate but that's how a lot of american steel it's like a new country that i mean that's a thing about americans right there i feel like toronto heads and they will just still like don't want to leave their country on the strands when he was on the show a few weeks ago was talking about jaylin rose talking about the raptors and just being like you know beyond the money being like funny and colored or whatever uh like we don't have esp on the tv what the fuck yeah exactly and that's the thing so for a lot of guys i think it's just simple shit like that i mean for burly he couldn't bring his dogs here so that was a bit of a show for him yeah because he has pit bulls in the band in ontario oh good for ontario good for you but yeah i mean whatever you know nba pre-season so what everyone listens to this podcast we're talking about the nba what was the final score like 73 60 i don't know i thought sleep before i was uh so ringing into our i got was up at 5 a.m to work the run for the cure that morning so it's probably a good thing that i didn't go to the game anyway it was ragger it was really i worked it i didn't run it oh well then you still worked yes i got bragging on this podcast absolutely yeah boys i came straight from work to this podcast you're welcome right over yourself i know right jobs oh regardless uh we'll move from the nba pre-season into nba commentary which takes us straight to the cook a clip of the week i like that all of our bumpers are just you saying the first little of the word a bunch of times a row to to to to to to to to to to to for the it's actually just because i'm nervous only when you're doing the bumpers though yeah i'm not nervous any other time yeah i'm excited were you announcing the run for the cure uh no i was like you're kick kick kick answer i was giving away ladies and gentlemen stickers and uh i work for radio station act i can't talk about it on hard bite potato chips and oh she's a snack hit tuna so whichever radio station happens to give those away all the time that's the one i work for um snack it tuna and because there were like thousands of runners at that event we just got mobbed it was like a zombie apocalypse situation i had food they were all hungry and i was just like oh god take it just take it please leave me alone i know that definitely whenever i do a great amount of running the first thing i want is tuna and crackers in a plastic sleeve as immediately when i feel as soon as the run-ins god i got a hankering for some tuna got to be out of sleeve though yeah exactly oh what is this fresh seared ahi tuna fuck you put that in a plastic sleeve you son of a bitch i want crackers tan that is dry free crackers at that oh god boop thanks for contributing to the cause here's some tuna what else did you have that sounded bad too oh christ those are good yeah they're okay that's like you're like you're like yeah here have some tuna and the 10th ranked potato chips we were right next to the the booth for um happy planet oh yeah so they were just Gregor chilling no but they also got just absolutely mobbed so okay but that's reasonable yeah happy planet yeah grab their juice and then they came next door to get their tuna for me boop remember when we're gonna talk about the club of the week no i never remember anything the entire reason why i brought up the NBA you brought up tuna uh club the way it comes was this week from yes you know what this makes me think of for some reason that movie shark tail wasn't like one of the badasses in that movie like a tuna or like one of the goombas for the like because it's what they were like mocking sharks yeah and they all looked like the celebrity who voiced them so they had to be like a sexy fish i've never seen it but i've never ever said about it which is like super upsetting yeah i think like the game because mark's zizzy is the fish in that movie oh that's right yeah that's right anyway you got like a score sassy fish uh you played the cliche yes we can mark and score shark score shark yeah that is named in the vote smart and sword sharky yeah mark fin oh i like that mark fin smart working oh rl and there it is yeah okay better at marlin sword fishy yeah but we can be too close to the sound yeah espn's first take the worst television show in no one existence hosted by noted windbags steven a noted windbag i like that and uh fucking uh you know the other oh yeah you're right on that with them do sure get balis they host it together how was that a real name you know what i mean god damn worst that exists and uh last week on the show i oh my god shark tale was the second highest opening for a dreamworks animated film ever behind shrek to what's on the uh i'm db message boy i haven't got there but uh i will shortly um continue yes oh angelina jolie is an angel fish because that's her name right makes sense she's a sexy fish too sexy uh that's an appearance any tuna in here though so i've fucked up steven a Smith last week tried to um be like an exclusive story that only i can bring to the espn airwaves about where kevin dorance of the Oklahoma city funder wants to go as an unrestoronto right isn't it ronald he said that he was going to go to the los angeles lakers and basically replace kobe as the new face of the lakers franchise and uh to which dorant came out and basically said you know steven a Smith is just full of shit i don't know him nobody in my family knows him none of my friends know him nobody talks to this guy he's just a big liar basically is what steven a Smith is what dorance said about steven a i'm laughing about the shark tank or shark tail i have db board continue okay steven a Smith is a liar is what kevin dorance said yeah yeah and he is obvious yeah i'm a close personal friend of labra and steven a Smith responded by saying that kevin dorant is way too sensitive and he proved that it's dorant who is the overly sensitive one by openly crying about being called a liar for 10 minutes on national television which peaked with this glorious clip of the week right here and we're all too and the sensitivity that these guys are showing they are making unnecessary enemies i am not one of them i want me i got too much love and respect for who these guys are and what they mean to my community but i will say this lastly you don't want to make an enemy out of me and i'm looking right into the camera and i'm saying again you do not want to make an enemy out of me i'm not having it i've done nothing wrong and i'm not going to let me stop you there so i got to say and i appreciate everything you just said do you realize you do not need to defend yourself on this issue yes i do this issue your track record as a reporter doesn't just speak for itself it screams for itself thank you skip bailist for putting basically the perfect button on that clip of the week your track record doesn't just speak for itself it screams for itself and it screams you're fucking bullshitting liar who doesn't know i think that's as close as skip bailist has ever gotten to being like maybe you shouldn't have said that yeah so that's evil muppets Stephen A Smith when he tries to get like skips tries to stop in conversation with worn down leather handbags skip bailist and how long did you think about those metaphors i wasn't watching the video but does he look at the camera when he does yeah he does it wow look in the camera that'd been awesome if he didn't yeah he like he goes he looks like a long-time camera he looks like a hard camera yeah that'd be amazing so what does he think that kevin dorant is trying to like personally and dreamers he just talked about the people who were making fun of basically complaining that dorant is like biting the hand that feeds because dorant is the reigning MVP in the NBA and that he only has that award because people like steven a Smith went out and told the nation that he's the best oh right okay it's like that whole like media complex like hockey players are bad if they don't talk to the media after they lose and skip bailist is a bag of all analyst who thinks that leperon james is an untalented basketball player so to count to see to skip bailist kevin dorant is not the best player in basketball he's just a weapon that bailist can wield against leperon basically right i see so you know kudos to dorant for being like this is a bunch of fucking bullshit y'all don't know me never spoken to anyone that i know and i like basically steven a smith is trying to say that he knows more about where kevin dorant is going to end up than kevin dorant does his family and yeah i mean good for him really that's pretty ball day i wish i really wish i'd get a spin up here yeah yeah the level of just like it goes beyond just pure egomania to like megalomania he's a maniac basically he's basically making threats he stares smith and is like i'm a murder you have a fuck around with me again basically i'm gonna say it again just in case you thought i didn't say it originally i will kill you and steven smith is like five foot six like what does he think he's gonna do i can't wait to see jf aero do an impersonation of this on saturday live it's gonna be the best thing pencil mustache like it's it's like a Vincent Price goatee is steven a smith you know what i'm just gonna come out right now and say steven a smith fuck you come after me bro i would love i would love a fucking love the official enemy this is the official enemy you all i have no problem making an enemy out of you you're a fucking clown and speaking of official enemies or players are the real good show official tennis player gee nail tennis player gee new bushard back on the court this weekend and was very dizzy and started crying now to the chuk no shin puke but she just had a really tough game and she had a retire after the game she's still recovering yeah she's never gonna play again is that what you're saying it's very possible she could finish forever i was just making a joke she said retire i know that's like a tennis term but it's also like a job i got you're right yeah i can all good i it was too good for me to even get over your head i mean let's keep explaining that i think it's like i'm i don't have maybe two yeah no i was like well it's like it's like what she's retiring from tennis all together as opposed to the match the one the one match oh yeah because they would say like retire in tennis that's the term for like withdrawing yeah match that's like they're tired they say retire for some time and when you retire from tennis you withdraw from tennis too they reverse yeah i mean like if you would say that she resigned from tennis i could have thought that maybe she resigned with tennis yeah yeah that almost works more is like a visual thing i think yeah because you're thinking of the actual like signing all the paper this is a really good episode this is a great podcast i like it from this content speaking of shartale um the i'm dv message board this is my favorite post there instead there's quite a few someone legitimately wrote a five paragraph response to shartale on the message board but this is my favorite one uh posted november 11th 2014 so a good nine years after they came out by b regund the title of the post is scary ugly fish faces which is uh how i have described people in my life previously it says i've never heard of this movie was it released theatrically which again as we explained the movie made almost 400 million at the box office i saw it on tv one day and thought damn those are some ugly fish they spelled damn like i said it cheap crappy animation bad writing annoying voices was this marketed at kids or adults these fish faces are even more frightening than the human faces in the polar express i like how he found the i dv page and was like was this in theaters yeah exactly like google did a fair yeah so he went to the i'm dv page saw that it made that much money because that's right on the first he saw who was in it saw who was in it like this was probably people yeah will smith i never heard of him and it turns out i am the author of that angelita jolai uh not actually we'll go now from the clip of the week into the twitter mailbag and it's gonna be a short one because we had so much sports are we skipping to our tracker this week yeah i don't think there's any well i'll just we don't play the theme song my talent oh no we're gonna do it when i'm talking to everyone's gonna play it at like two times speed i want to hear oh that'd be amazing can you do that for me can you do that uh probably not live but in post okay good yeah that speed there's shit up yeah not because i want to hear it faster but i just want that sound effect i'm going to talk over the beginning of it again aren't i always finally do that time for the tatapher tracker i think you actually missed a great segue there you should have been like speaking of scariugly fish this is it's the tatapher so today's tatfer tracker seven hours ago john tatfer tweeted about time mcdonald's made a change hashtag all day breakfast that's it for the tatfer tracker folks the man loves himself i don't fuck i just blew that you got to do it the man loves him so mcdonald's breakfast oh god good night there we go jesus christ he made that recommendation to the probably and again we just we talked about the world renowned bar scientist yeah we talked about this well he knows what drives his bar if you can get a sausage mcmuffin at 2 a.m and you're more likely to stay out later i know i would personally i don't even drink but i would stay out later if it meant to sausage mcmuffin at the end of the night i'll die right now but here's the thing we don't have it in canada yeah so it's time we get on tatfer to uh push mcdonald's to bring us more experience to do it you did just all an ugly fish face so scary ugly fish face for the record yeah you could have been talking about ronald mcdonald i could have been talking about whoever you want could have been this that way whatever you want regardless we'll go out of the twitter mail bag it's gonna be a very fun yeah short one yeah no one has good question this question came in yesterday from friend of the show at or hanakonda at uh se and whatever great star she says great star i have a question what kind of football do they play in high schools in canada are there us rules pop Warner leagues or anything and somebody of the three of us answered this question on twitter me and blatantly lied to her good did you like did you not know the answer i think i just i guess i got wrong i said high schools play cfl rules as do the universities there are some junior leagues that play nfl rules but okay well the universities for sure play canadian do they i'm yeah eight hundred percent okay because high schools definitely do not okay high schools don't but universities do because they have the wide they have the wide field and everything yeah yeah no universities 100 oh okay well i don't know how many people i mean maybe don't trust me because i thought high school i just assumed the high schools are like reading them for university game which makes sense yeah no but i like the idea of there being like outlaw rebel leagues that play four down with ball with fair catches um yeah here's the thing we hanakonda is obviously a dedicated listener of the show and that to me you seem like an offensive question because she was like well what do you even do in canada and she if i remember correctly lives in buffalo yeah so you know what i mean just take a trip buffalo is based on the north of buffalo also which is even so just let us say that you're why don't you just hop across the border to nyegra falls ghost check out a game or i don't know google i don't mean i don't know we're probably wrong like we yeah i'm probably i think our hit rate on questions in terms of like is this you know correct or whatever uh like i don't know 10 percent to be fair a lot of the questions are really dumb because they're like but so we yeah no of course yeah also very extremely stupid but we've got you know why i bet hannah's in university yeah yeah she's obviously not that's not putting it together you know what i mean yeah and she hasn't given us any money so it all wow all right hannah if you're listening i assume you are we love you you're great don't listen to these guys but we will listen to john about the university yeah you know our podcast is really like we're really bad people when stephen's the magnanimous that's when you know you really had a hard time but we have a question here which will take us right into the lucas visa would do of the week beautiful you know that reminds me of like a 90s commercial for pasta come down to olive garden and meet the lucas fees oh like not even that good like i'm limited giveaways for the old spigot like yeah like no not even restaurants i was thinking of like ragu ragu ragu pasta sauce just like boy or so i can't sing you guys get it whatever yeah uh with the question for the i feel like lucas would do if the week comes from baby dean at dean worldwide who asked would you rather get adult braces for three years or have spisa play out his contract with vancouver well you can just get invisible line that's without it's not a cop better it has to be like full-on yeah and like bright neon color because i i had it in his line okay yeah and i feel like they're still somewhat they're still noticeable they're not as bad as it all yeah i don't have one right now yeah yeah but um yeah no i mean they're way less noticeable than full-on braces yeah they're also way less noticeable than lucas pieces a boring play on yeah i don't know that's a tough one i think i go with the braces i three years is a long time to have adult braces because it's a long time to have lucas piece on your team yeah the rest of your life is a long time to have no balls i'm pretty sure yeah exactly braces are like you really set the bar incredibly hard from balls to braces yeah exactly like you said you would cut your balls off so like real is that very casually too it's kind of like well it's because we are rushing the lucas visa with you is at the very end and i was like oh we didn't even do it and then you're like i would cut my balls off yeah oh you really didn't really didn't think about the basis yeah i don't think we've gotten one where it's like i'd rather have spies on the team yeah it's gonna take up it's gonna take a big one just yeah i think so too the gravity of his play what uh i would like uh our female listeners which we talked about last week is probably like five to seven um but i was like three last week okay and i'm i'm hopping it because there was a couple i forgot about so i'm gonna go with five to seven um please send in the percentage chance that you would sleep with a man with adult braces or even just kiss like it doesn't have to be like you know we don't have to get into this like thing of like sleeping with someone but like even just like like is there any chance is what i'm saying like is it above zero and not invisalign like real man like real adult real man race real adult man yeah exactly they let out us the smell of charcoal when you breathe real man but anyway yeah please let us know percentage chance we have another speeds related question comes from uh ryan lambert at two line paths he asks how would you feel if lucaspeaks saved your entire family from fire um i mean good obviously but also bad for two reasons i had to you know he probably started the fire realistically he's like what can i do to make myself look good i'll start a fire and save people yeah yeah exactly and then too uh he's probably gonna be like oh it's you it's a guy who wants to murder him just believe and then don't drag my family but don't leave me in any way i said he saved your family yeah not me not you i'm still burning to death though what if you like woke up in his arms you were sleeping in your bed and he's carrying you out and you woke up in his arms i would assume i had died and gone to hell because well we didn't talk about how your hell would have lucaspeaks at all because of the flames or because of spisa more spisa than the flames you'd wake up and see his face and be like god damn it this guy good question thank you ryan uh we just assumed that lucaspeaks that wouldn't be able to save your family because he's really bad against the flames oh there it is thank you he'll be headline in yuk yuk this week and we have a question from frank nevin and he says how come there was no canadian team and mighty dux too which is what not there was there actually was uh one of the flash forwards uh because they they play their game against uh they play trinity ad and italy and iceland in the first round and they lose to iceland and then after uh they get their mojo back and uh bomb they beat wolf the dentis stanton in a game of one-on-one or he's about to before he gets his knee chopped uh they do a flash forward and they show just news articles of them beating teams and it says the u.s. downs canada because they knew that science fiction they could actually show they well they could show i just think they knew that they had to include canada people have been like that's a little ridiculous canada wasn't that canada wasn't it i do love the world where iceland is like a hockey superpower that i absolutely love that makes sense dork is their coach also did you know that the guy who plays gunner stall comes back as a completely different character in d3 i didn't realize i didn't realize i didn't realize i rewatched it he's a star call yeah exactly uh he was uh the golly for the opposition team that uh i guess i don't even know if julie the cat is still in it i think so and she like falls for him and that and he's because it's because in d3 they go to a prep school and they're all in the junior varsity team and they play the senior varsity team that's their big game and the senior varsity golly is the same actor who played gunner stall interesting bit of the more you know you do spend a little quite a bit of time on IMDB it turns out uh i just watch my dx more than any man's question from robert at free rob five does jaunt half or stand up to wipe he's front or back i guess i've brought these questions yeah i guess so probably um you know what john topper doesn't have time to wipe he just hops on a bidet no he just continues he just shits and walks it was he's in garbage bars all day i think a turd is gonna make a difference he's your bar yeah it's your bar that's so fun exactly yeah look it's a human turd i just stepped on a human turd and it went up my pant leg what is that noise what is that noise what the fuck was that noise that was right it was just but trying to turn sliding up good one i like the phrase shits and walks that's a good that's a good phrase final question comes to us from occasional intern erin mckay erin asks which sport would be the most interesting played solely with little people or played with more gravity the opposite of in space oh i'm gonna go with more gravity here you guys have little people one okay um weird i thought you would take the because i'm little yeah okay we talk about it every walk as you're not that small we just talk about it every time so feel like we're just gonna go play little people's soccer i got two goals little people's soccer okay yeah when you go and play does it look like foosball yeah it's going to go with it because it's always that noise again oh my god um i think bowling would be hilarious because they have to just know gravity or with super i gravity yeah because they have to kind of like walk the ball down or whatever how they push it like a ball whatever you think you are i am you call back for our uh thank you people i've heard you time listeners yeah absolutely i'm gonna go with little people sport i want to see something pure brutality i want to see like dwarf rugby basically yeah like murder ball but little people yeah that's water ball yeah like a less aversion to murder murder murder balls wheelchair but i was looking at for those people like the whole game and uh it's gravity i don't basketball probably would be uh yeah i mean how is it not basketball right i don't even know how you could play the sport with more gravity you can't jump in presumably the ball would be incredibly difficult to lift and throw in the hoop um okay little people i just want to imagine i like i want to imagine sports where it would take so much longer to have a little person do it so like like swimming or it's just like really slow like they're like they're fine they're not drowning or anything it's just like the slowest swimming race of all time um or also golf i think would be great like i don't know if there are little like i'm sure there's got a youtube glimpse of like good little person golfers but i can't imagine most of them can hit it past like a hundred yards so that'd be just hilarious to watch them play like elite golf courses and they can't even hit it past the ladies' deese almost of the holes all right well we will go from the mailbag into the segment that is come to follow it every single week of late and we had a listener submitted theme song for this segment this week so ladies and gentlemen it's time to splish splash around in stephens pool party yeah that's that's so stephens pool party post apocalyptic this david lynch is stephens pool party it is your key 21 yeah your key 21 seven and if you guys want to because we are really bad at doing most stuff to do with this show so if you want to keep submitting that the show in general like we so like if you want to continue to send us theme songs fan art you know do the show for us if i want to record a fan episode yeah that'd be great that should be that hard yeah exactly just talk and know nothing about just have three people and two of them make fun of the other one the whole time but i heard that your week in fantasy football was quite nightmarish so that's probably yeah great app theme song i lost uh both both games i lost by 20 points in one league and uh like 40 points in another league um so yeah not too long ago is league you lost by 40 yeah i'm two and two in that league i'm one and three in the other it's not looking too good but i had a good uh hockey fantasy hockey draft but uh tyler segan got uh you know no one cares about the show um did you pick mark arkabelo that's what everybody wants no well the the ready for the speed of the moral pool uh if you're listening and you're in the pool the draft will most likely be this sunday we're hoping Canadian thanksgiving but it'll be in the early afternoon yeah now we're gonna miss the first like five days of games basically but given that the object of the pool is to have no points whatsoever i think that'll happen it's an advantage right it's very typical of justins involved that we will start it late so there's no problem at all here with us getting going five days early and uh yeah it'll be perfect for our Canadian people in the pool just get to draft some shitbag players and then go after and feel like shit after and it'll just be a shit day all around pass out at like nine o'clock yeah do we have any americans in it do we know that i think it might be one or two okay perfect so for them it's just sunday we're just interrupting your football sorry yeah sorry but they don't care though sorry sorry sorry a sorry Canadian thanksgiving for our british i don't know that was a british accent i kind of just checking sorry a i lived in la for like five months and everybody gave me shit about like speaking with a canadian accent because i say about but that's i don't even say like a boat no but it's because they say about but i'm close to that not really not really no i'd be surprised we say about about and about i'm going out pasta instead of pasta that was a big one pasta it's pasta we have another second sound extremely dumb like we just keep talking about pasta we have another second i don't know yeah like you tell that the one of the italian say pasta well guess what we're trying to end it you're not in italy yeah i understand do you fly the flag and half must no it's fucking pasta he's not doing well he's drowning my pool that's what that step and i both tuned out and started talking to each other i realize like oh we can't leave him alone well we got one segment left we're on a home stretch it's everybody's favorite segment because it means we're almost done the show it's things we actually like in the world at large the cherry on top of our cynical sunday ladies and gentlemen one good thing and gentlemen what do you like this week i guess i can go first since you're both looking at me uh it's weird i've actually i've plugged this person on the show before but he just released a book uh so i wanted to talk about it i'm sorry stephen just showed me a picture of a little person playing golf he looks like my dad and my dad is also short dad's like five five so that's hilarious um is there snow on the ground he was just like golfing but there's snow uh there's a lot going on that's totally fine i'm so glad you did um so yes i talked about uh he's a van coover comedian uh he's a professor at ubc's and author's name's uh charles demeres uh and as i said i plugged his comedy on the show before um but i just got a chance to go to his book launch uh last week and uh it was awesome and i'm almost finished the book it's called the horrors and he basically pardon me writes an essay for every letter of the alphabet and picks uh something that he doesn't like that starts with that letter so um most of the essays are from like six to ten pages some of them are really deep like he like m is for motherlessness because he lost his mother when he was 11 um so some of them are like kind of like bleak but he's trying to find the funny in them that's the whole point of the book is like to go through these horrible subjects but find the funny in them uh so he talks about that but then like g is for golf so it's like he kind of runs the gamut some of them are a little bit more golf is pretty terrible oh yeah it's awful right so i think that's the thing like it is terrible but i just mean in terms of the like a gravity of what he's talking about some of the essays are a little bit more light-hearted others are a little bit more personal and in-depth uh but yeah as i said i'm more than halfway through i think i'm on cue right now so i'm getting pretty close to the end but it's absolutely hilarious he's a tremendously gifted writer super super funny um so i'd recommend that you check that out uh the horrors by charles demeres i'm pretty sure you can get it if you're in canada you can get it in any bookstore if you're in the states you can get it online um yeah great book check it out uh my one good thing is canadian thanks giving yes way better than american thanksgiving way better well it comes earlier i would like to experience american thanksgiving at some point because they just go whole hog yeah they kill each other in the stores it's great and there's so much food and it's like an entire week off too which is awesome yeah totally um but no kidding thanksgiving pumpkin pie yeah like black friday is basically the purge yeah that's what i mean yeah like people die the purge is based on but thanksgiving up here just kind of like it's like a weekend it's like fun you get together friends family i got i can drink some pumpkin beer it does make sense though like because thanksgiving for them is celebrating pilgrims and what better way to celebrate pilgrims than to kill people you think are lesser than you that's very yeah that's very dark but it's not inaccurate no but that's yeah so this holiday that's coming up and my one good thing this week is uh the toronto blue jays hey we didn't talk about them at all the course of the playoffs and if you would like to hear people talk about them uh the place to do that well a couple of podcasts you could check out i recommend the sports vale podcast hosted by our boy the zoos and jake old to be and they talk about toronto sports but they're huge jays fans and are super excited about uh the playoffs obviously why wouldn't you be in these two birds all day also a great jays centric podcast if you want to hear some jays talk yeah um and i really want to recommend more than those podcasts a newsletter that gets sent out once a week by miss sacie may fowls and you can find her on twitter at miss stacie may uh it's a newsletter that she puts out every week so you're doing another thing where you're just doing multiple one-guitals baseball life advice is the name of the newsletter and uh it's you know i feel like women sports writers feel like they have to shy away from talking about like feelings in sports and right in a way you know they feel like they have to stay like very clinical and detached you can never be like you know talk about the emotion of a game or whatever and she kind of completely goes against that grain and fully leans into uh just uh you know baseball life feelings basically and uh writes about the jays as though they are like uh you know the the bad boy rebels of your high school basically and i'm wearing my charming dirtbags t- shirt right now i was gonna say she had her hand in designing so uh she's great and those are some tremendous jays fans that will give you all sorts of jays content that we cannot as john and two band waggoning fans but uh playoffs right in should be great so that's my last Thursday Thursday yeah there you go that's the last Thursday and then wagg is all i knew was people complaining about the start time yeah they're in the afternoon so it's on thursday and friday afternoon it's been a big deal like i know my buddy uh back in toronto bot tickets for the whole playoffs and now he's like what the hell am i supposed to do like i can't take days off work all my holidays are spoken for like he doesn't know he's gonna do and i think for a lot of people who are hoping to like resell some of their tickets like the resale value of the tickets is plummeted because a lot of people are trying to sell their tickets because they can't even go to the games now so because just working yeah because they're yeah like like normal people yeah i mean i know you too don't know a whole lot about that but um but like normally at one p.m on a thursday people do this thing called work anyway you guys will get there and even the plug before you wrap up yeah same deal uh if you're in vancouver this is the last time i have to plug it and uh matt yukk's this weekend headlining october 8th to 10th thursday friday saturday 8 p.m thursday 8 p.m friday seven and nine 30 saturday if you live in vancouver you want to come check me out uh where i talk about uh you know like real shit and not just being a dumb asshole on this thing uh it'll be really fun and uh and please again if you come out uh and you are and you're coming because you heard me on the podcast please come and say hello um it'd be really nice to meet some of our listeners there's lots of people who come when they hear you on the podcast yeah well i walked into that like a doculae it's fair to be honest i do have a very syrupy voice once again i will plug this very podcast that you're listening to right now tell your friends about it tell people that you know who like podcasts that it's a good one if you have listened all the way and if you're hearing me right now then you certainly have done that we got a ton of people in the last week who rated and reviewed on itunes do and we want you to know that we read every single one of them and tons of them made us laugh very hard this week so thank you so much for doing that and keep it up with that that will do it for this week's program our intern is still a toilet our roommate is chris adam i'm just in more sets stephen heck john kalen be real be good be real good ejaculate pumpkin show that's a good combination of words ejaculate pumpkin i like it i like it i like it i like it with their name for our podcast like orange calm my gosh it's a bunch of orange jizz yeah orange jizz happy thanksgiving i'm gone