140. How to Set Boundaries When You’re Afraid of Losing People

You know what you want to say. You can feel it in your body. It doesn’t feel good. Something is off. You want something different.And then… you don’t say it.Not because you don’t know how. Not because you haven’t read the books or listened to the podcasts. But because in that moment, it feels risky.What if they get upset? What if they pull away? What if you lose them?In this episode, we’re talking about what boundary setting actually looks like in real, everyday life… not the big, obvious, “cut them off” moments, but the small, quiet ones where it’s just you, your body, and that split-second decision.We’ll walk through:Why setting boundaries feels so hard (especially if you’ve been punished for it in the past)How your nervous system confuses present moments with past experiencesWhat to do in the moment when you feel yourself freeze or fawnWhy you don’t have to get it right the first time (and how to take a “do-over”)How to tell the difference between unsafe people and uncomfortable momentsWhat it actually means to stay connected to yourself when it would be easier to abandon yourselfThis is not about perfect wording or getting it right on the spot.It’s about learning to notice, trust, and act on what your body is already telling you… and staying with yourself, even when it’s uncomfortable.Because that’s the work.Connect + Continue the Work:If you’re ready to practice this in real time, inside a space where you don’t have to do it alone, you can join us in Mayhem Daughters, our online community for daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers.Or, if you’re looking for language to help you say hard things, you can check out my guide: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things