143. Mindfully Embracing the Unexpected: Advice from a Zen Teacher with Flint Sparks

If you or someone you know is struggling with a complexity that seems irrevocably stuck, our guest today—Flint Sparks—will point you in some new directions. He’s been a professional psychotherapist for four decades, and he is also a Zen teacher: a wonderful combination that brings a level of timeless wisdom to the table that adds a path to freedom we may not find any other way.  00:00 Intro & Welcome 02:13 Spiritual Maturity Flint spent many years as a psychotherapist and is now a Zen teacher. Flint leads retreats all across North America and Europe Flint’s tagline is ‘Softening Barriers to Love’. 06:28 Growing Up and Waking Up Social and cultural evolution happened much faster than biological evolution. We are out of sync in some ways. Spiritual growth allows us to meet everyday mundane things with greater intimacy and courage. Spiritual maturity has nothing to do with a belief in anything. Spiritual maturity is endless curiosity and willingness to turn toward everything. Maturing ourselves as human beings never really ends. True meditation is letting go of all the ways that we manipulate ourselves. 12:56 The Ground of Being The ground of being is unconditioned good in the midst of the joys of the greatest moments and also in the last minutes as you pass away, Happiness is found by removing the conditions for being happy. The foundation to anchoring ourselves comes from steady practice. Practice is preparation to do the real thing. The real thing that we are practicing for is life. The practice must be grounded in reality. 16:41 The Ground of Being Dr Srikumar Rao appeared on Episode 5 of The Conspiracy of Goodness Podcast and spoke about the concept of ‘good thing / bad thing’. The ‘good thing / bad thing’ concept speaks to the way we label occurrences as either good or bad based on our perception. Flint agrees with this concept and encourages us to consider saying ‘now this’ rather than labeling something as good or bad. Flint compares spiritual practice to jazz musicianship. Jazz musicians play boring scales over and over again for many years. When jazz musicians play they are able to apply what they practiced without much conscious effort. We can also develop the same improvisational virtuosity as great jazz musicians by practicing spirituality more consistently. We can develop the muscles to respond rather than react. 20:39 Break 23:40 What is Discipline? According to Flint, discipline is  ‘remembering what you want’. What is most important to you? What are you called to do? If you want to know what your disciplines are, just look at your life and what you’re actually doing. Waking up is about deciding if the things you do are the person you want to be. What you are doing reflects what you want. 26:31 Tolerating Mystery Mystery is the capacity to be open to the unknown and not demand answers to the unknown. We can stay with questions longer and respect the mystery. It’s not about belief, it's about discovery. We can learn from life without trying to make life our way. Being okay with mystery is challenging to people. A Tibetan teacher  Trungpa Rinpoche said the spiritual path is walking between hope and despair straight into the face of uncertainty. The spiritual path feels like vulnerability in the human body. Most people want to turn despair into hope. The universal solvent for problem solving is curiosity. 31:22 Responsiveness vs. Perfection Be wholehearted and continue with dignity. Our ‘okayness’ isn’t on the line. We have to be easier on ourselves. The process to mastery is a pretty good walk. We can appreciate our lives with all of its flaws and difficulties. 37:42 Going Fast If you want to get somewhere fast, go slow. In order to respond appropriately we need to be more attentive. Spiritual practice helps us become more present and attentive. We are made new in each moment. Life is miraculous and full of awe even though it looks ordinary most of the time....