1463 Do Your Accusations Come From Your Own Guilt?

When you blame your partner for doing something wrong, do your accusations come from your own guilt? The guilt that maybe you are the one carrying the shame and don't want to end up being in the wrong. Desire to be supported and encourage by other like-minded women? Join us at Women of IMPACT. http://facebook.com/groups/thewomenofimpact So it's easier to blame even if the blame is misplaced. Now to everyone's defense, most of us do not realize we are doing this. But if we were to break down certain conversations and situations, we would discover that we do it more often; accusing your spouse out of your own guilt. The key is first acknowledging if you are doing just that. Part of the stress and mismanagement in our marriage was how my husband saw work and how I viewed it. He viewed the day starts with a shower and then you are up and moving accordingly. However, my typical day when the children were younger was staying up late to handle the household responsibilities, getting up in the middle of the night, then homeschooling during the day. Usually he came home to more of a mess than the organized home he thought it should be. Fast forward to today. When he makes a comment about needing something done or him doing it himself, I immediately go back to not being good enough in his eyes. A playful comment on "How was your day today?", puts me on the defensive if I think he is surmising that I haven't done anything today. It's my guilt. He is just trying to inquire about my day with no blame. But I take it all the wrong way. Do you ever find yourself in this position? Defending your own guilt with false accusations. You might need a little time to wrestle with that question. So assume that you have been in this position, what can one do? The K.I.S.S. ~ Forgive yourself first to move toward your new goal! Forgiveness is imperative in any relationship, especially the one with yourself. But definitely with your spouse too. How do you forgive yourself to move toward your new goal? Accept the past action/situation for what it was. Don't over exaggerate one way or the other. Listen precisely to what your spouse is saying now. Don't put words in his mouth that reflect the past. Clarify any miscommunication with follow-up questions. If you are really concerned about his position, ASK! Move forward knowing you are no longer living in the past. No past is worth your future. God believes in your marriage. Believe in it too. Bury the hatchet. "Love is patient. Love is kind. Treat yourself accordingly."   TAKE A.I.M. ~ Action Ignites Motivation  - This is a complimentary (FREE) coaching call with me. You will be able to discuss your specific situation and gain tools and strategies to move you forward. Live. Love. IMPACT!  "One step at a time leads to miles of greatness!"   Subscribe to Create Your Now TV on YouTube. Listen to Create Your Now on Spotify and Pandora. Listen to Create Your Now on iHeart Radio. Click here. The Create Your Now Archives are LIVE!! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here.  http://bit.ly/CYNarchive1 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive2 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive3 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive4 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive5 Contact me at [email protected] THE NO FUSS MEAL PLAN Instagram @CreateYourNow @Kristianne Wargo Twitter @KristianneWargo @CreateYourNow Facebook www.facebook.com/TheKISSCoach www.facebook.com/CreateYourNow   PERISCOPE USERS!!! 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This is a free 30-45 minute call for those serious about coaching with me. 12. Newsletter and Library: If you desire to get weekly emails, be sure to sign up here so you can stay connected. http://createyournow.com/library   Cover Art by Jenny Hamson   Music by Mandisa - Overcomer http://www.mandisaofficial.com Song ID: 68209 Song Title: Overcomer Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI) 9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music -  Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.