149 | Love is in the Details ~ Oona-Ife & Anthony Olaiya Wright

Oona-Ife and Anthony were hosting friends at their home when they decided she should take a pregnancy test. She took the test because she had spent the night throwing up after a night of eating steak and butter pecan ice cream. They learned they were expecting a baby, and the news brought so much joy that they had to stifle their excitement from their guests. Anthony even snuck out of the house to shed a few tears as their lives were about to change in this season of expansion. Little did they know that they would spend the first trimester of their pregnancy separated at mealtimes. Oona-Ife could not only bear the taste of certain foods, but even the smell of preparing them would turn her stomach. She felt violently ill during most meals and experienced a bout with depression as she pushed into her second trimester with limited support on how to remedy her ailments. It made pregnancy feel hard and isolating. Like most people with extreme morning sickness in pregnancy, it would subside as the second trimester continued. Despite a rocky start, Oona felt an abundance of self-love and support from her village, which left her with positive reflections regarding her pregnancy. Anthony made space during their journey to learn about what to expect during childbirth and was able to connect with other new and expectant fathers for support. He was intentional about his presence for prenatal visits and building relationships with their care providers.  Labor would gradually commence after a violent bout of nausea and vomiting one evening. Oona-Ife and Anthony would fumble around trying out some tried and true labor strategies that would end in a good laugh and an A for effort. Because they were having a homebirth they were in close contact with their doula and midwifery team about changes in contraction patterns, behaviors, and any concerns they had. As things picked up, their doula would arrive first to assess the scene and encourage them to call the midwife to the house. Laboring and birthing at home proved to be their best decision as it fostered comfort and ease that kept them calm. Despite some hiccups with their tub and a moment of familiar panic for those who needed to relocate during the transition, Oona-Ife would deliver their daughter safely in the water. The midwives and doula would leave them to bond and care for their new baby and themselves. They would receive a caravan of support with family members arriving at different intervals to visit and provide care over the first month postpartum. Just as they started to get a rhythm at about eight days postpartum Oona-Ife would have severe headaches; she grew concerned regarding her own health. She would eventually go to the hospital for care after connecting with her midwife as her blood pressure elevated to dangerous levels. She would be diagnosed with Postpartum Preeclampsia and Covid-19. Thankfully, she centered her care and was able to heal with continued support from her family and providers. Today, they are still growing in their parenthood and partnership journey. Anthony encourages partners to show up and be present. Ensure your whole birth team meets before labor begins to promote healthy communication and mutual respect. Oona-Ife continues her work as a doula, childbirth educator, and perinatal mental health provider. Her advice is to confront your fears before childbirth by utilizing methods that align with your needs. Allowing yourself to acknowledge them and understand that every space you enter will not be affirming of your choices or your concerns. Resources:Expectful | the mental health app for before, during, and after pregnancy.The Birth Partner | a complete guide to childbirth for dads, partners, doulas, and all other labor companionsBirthing from Within | holistic approach to childbirth that examines this profound rite-of-passage not as a medical event but as an act of self-discovery.