15: Overcome Shame Habits to Stop Porn Addiction

Sometimes we as addicts have troubles looking outside of ourselves. We may experience difficulty listening to others' troubles and being present for their physical or emotional needs. This is not because we are inherently selfish, but because our past trauma and shame habits can make it hard for us to connect with others and look outside of ourselves, thus leading to unfortunately selfish acts, such as porn addiction. Empathy and addiction do not coexist very well. This can be a hard truth for many of us addicts to face, but until we do we cannot change. We hold a lot of fear and shame inside, in other words we are afraid that the bad things that happened in the past - neglect, betrayal, failure -  will happen again, and we question our worthiness of love.We get stuck in an endless cycle of detachment and anger, rather than facing the underlying feelings of insecurity and unworthiness (shame habits) that follow us around everywhere we go. We addicts desperately want those around us to feel loved and cared for. We want to be good and do good. It’s just that our own insecurities get in the way, and we don’t know how to overcome them; to get out of the cycle of fear, shame, and addiction that leads to selfish acts. It’s not that we’re selfish, just temporarily damned in our progression, much as scripture states sinners are “damned to hell” - trapped in a cycle of suffering until we experience a fundamental change of heart through voluntary humility and God’s grace. To feel true empathy, we addicts must find a new way of thinking and acting. Our own selfishness will continue to bar us from meaningful relationships until we can humble ourselves enough and be self-compassionate enough to put down our “shame-shield” that blocks us from love, and realize that we and those around us are all worthy of love in God’s eyes.BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLEFREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for PornFREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn CravingsJoin My Email NewsletterIntensive Porn Addiction Recovery ProgramSchedule a Free ConsultationMORE ARTICLESHow to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership ApproachThe 4 Root Causes of Porn AddictionHow to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from PornStop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust HabitsTrauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn AddictionThe Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn AddictionSupport the showNo More Desire