Welcome to episode 150 on Here to Thrive. I am the host Kate Snowwise. If you've listened before you might be getting used to me now. I'm your somewhat preachy friend when it comes to things like self-care and making sure that you are filling yourself back up and that is what we're talking about this month on the Here to Thrive podcast.
Today we're talking about why I really believe that self-care isn't selfish and why I think that to be true. Later in the month I have a phenomenal discussion to drop with Dr. Sandra Dalton-Smith and she's talking about the seven different types of rest. You don't want to miss that one.
I really think it's an important model for people to get their heads around as it really talks about the importance of identifying our rest deficits and how a good night's sleep isn't the only thing that can stop us from falling into that burned out state. But today I pulled up an old blog post and thankfully I still think the exact same stuff holds true. So I am going to share that with you and I hope it serves as a little reminder that as many times as we can say self-care isn't selfish but sometimes we just need a pep talk that gives us permission to put ourselves back on the list of things we can do. So here we go.
Welcome to Here to Thrive. I'm your host Kate Snowwise. This is a podcast for people who are ready to step up and live a happier life. It's for those of us who are dedicated to understanding ourselves and getting the best that we can out of this thing called life.
It's a mix of psychology and modern spiritual thought always with a focus on practical advice so that you can take it back and apply it to your own life. I don't believe we're here to merely survive. I truly believe we're here to thrive. So let's get going.
Why self-care isn't selfish? Let's just start there. Simply put, feeling like you're exhausted, overwhelmed and wondering how you're going to keep going, it sucks. Especially for the naturally giving types among us.
These are the people who tend to keep on giving and giving and may not even realize how drained they are becoming. COVID has been a crazy unique season and I think many of us have overgiven or have stretched ourselves or been stretched well beyond our capacities. The problem is that often we can forget to take care of ourselves and sometimes we even view doing something for ourselves as luxurious and selfish. Like I know that I still struggle with this.
I believe in self-care wholeheartedly, but it's like there is this little voice that somehow gets a grip and tells me that it is indulgent to do the things that help me fill back up. So even if the tiniest part of you believes that self-care is selfish, I'm just here to remind you that that's absolute crap. Let me explain. Stress is a process.
So feelings of exhaustion and overwhelm, they don't occur in a vacuum. They are the result of a stressor or a demand being put on us and then we use resources in order to cope with that. When it all turns to trash and the system gets out of balance, we end up feeling stressed and overwhelmed. That's when all of a sudden it feels like it's getting a bit too much.
To explain it better, I find it easy to think in terms of a bucket model. So perhaps not the prettiest picture, but it works. We need to be filled up in order to be happy. We need to be energized in order to be able to show up as our best selves in any parts of our lives.
But realistically, the world and our lives, they're constantly draining us. They're constantly draining our bucket. So you can think of those daily stresses and demands like little holes in the bottom of that wellbeing bucket that continually pull that wellbeing and energy away from us. Now, it's unrealistic to think that we can patch all the holes in our bucket and be done with it.
There will always be demands on us, but we can continue to look for ways to fill that bucket up again. We can put our energy into how we are nourishing ourselves, replenishing our energy and restoring our wellbeing. To do that, we need to have our finger on the pulse. We need to be able to assess how filled up we feel and ensure that we never unconsciously let that bucket get too empty.
We don't want to be scraping off the bottom of our barrels, people. So we need to make sure that we always have energy going into our wellbeing tank. That is what will insulate us against stress. It makes us more tolerant.
It makes us able to attend to those demands and stresses in our lives. So what can we do to fill ourselves back up and make sure that those wellbeing tanks don't run dry? Um, self-care. It's as simple as that.
We must practice self-care. Now we all have different things that give us the energy kicks that we need. And this is where I think the next episode this month is really important because she has modeled that helps you identify where your particular energy needs may lie. Now for some self-care may be painting your nails or for others, it could be going for a run, drinking some water, attending a yoga class, having a sleep in, going on a vacation, patting your pet.
Maybe it's taking a beautiful bubble bath. Personally, I overheat them, but you get the drift. Only you can know what makes you feel good and restores your wellbeing tank. The key here is whatever those things are, you must practice them frequently to stay ahead of the game.
You can't use it as an emergency bandaid because if you're already at the bottom of the barrel, even throwing in some hard hitting, amazing things like going on a vacation, it's not going to be enough to get you right back full. And so self-care really should be a practice in your life and something that you weave into your daily routines. Self-care isn't selfish people. It's essential.
I encourage you to make a list. Literally, if you have got a couple of minutes right now, take out a piece of paper, open the notes part of your cell phone, and just ask yourself this question. What fills me back up? Don't monitor your response.
Just bullet point, jot down anything that brings you joy, that re-energizes you, and that makes you feel alive again. That's your prescription people. There it is. So self-care is vital.
So self-care is vital to the bucket model of stress and wellbeing. Without us putting wellbeing resources back into our buckets, we run dry. So much of our society is currently running so damn close to empty. We see stress everywhere and practicing self-care regularly is the cornerstone to our psychological wellbeing.
It gives us what we need to cope with the daily demands of life and allows you to actually keep giving. Basically, you get the message yet? Self-care is anything but selfish or luxury. It's absolutely a necessity, and we should all be focused on carving out time each day to do nothing more than take care of ourselves.
If you need permission to put yourself first, I just gave it to you. Please, please give yourself what you need to restore, re-energize, and feel filled up. As I mentioned, that was an old blog post. I pulled it out of the archives of an old site, but I will be posting it back over on heretothrive.com if you want to go over there and check it out.
I also have a bunch of journal prompts and my monthly newsletter where I summarize the topics that we're talking about on the Here to Thrive podcast. So if you're not on that already, you should definitely join that community, heretothrive.com. I hope we're all enjoying this early spring, and we have to next, I'll be back with Dr. Dalton Smith talking about the seven types of rest.
Till then, keep thriving, beautiful people. Keep thriving.