153 [S11 E8] Creativity, small joys and redefining success: navigating the long-term impact of autistic burnout

Phoenix* is 44 and from The Netherlands. She has a PhD in philosophy and worked in academia for several years, before experiencing a severe burnout in her early thirties. Phoenix started seriously considering that she might be autistic around two and a half years ago, after struggling for years with burnout, chronic fatigue and anxiety. She was formally recognised as autistic about a year ago, shortly after her young daughter. Since her burnout, Phoenix has rediscovered her creativity and has found connection with herself and others through creative writing, visual art and making clay figurines. She is currently building a website called The Autistic Notebook, where she plans to share personal essays and cartoons exploring autistic experience. In this conversation Phoenix talks about her social struggles at school, and in her career in academia, where problematic power dynamics helped put her on the path to eventual burnout. She shares the impact her burnout has had on her life, how she's coming to terms with dependency on others and redefining what success means to her as she finds joy and inspiration in creativity, moments of beauty and raising a joyful and creative daughter. * Phoenix is a pseudonym Squarepeg is a podcast in which I talk to other late identified autistic women and nonbinary people about their lives, their autism journeys, and what they've learned along the way. I'm Amy Richards, and I was diagnosed autistic in 2016, when I was 37. I've been sharing my conversations with other autistic adults since 2020. I hope you'll find these conversations inspiring and thought provoking, and that they'll help you feel more connected to a worldwide community of people with similar experiences.   ➡️LISTEN AD-FREE WHEN YOU BECOME A PATREON SUPPORTER https://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast    EPISODE LINKS: Phoenix's website: https://theautisticnotebook.com/ Sign up to Phoenix's newsletter: https://theautisticnotebook.com/newsletter/  If you'd like to connect with me, get in touch or follow Squarepeg, you can find me on: Website: https://squarepeg.community/  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/squarepeg.community/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/squarepegautism/  THANK YOU TO MY PATRONS!   A HUGE thank you to my amazing patrons, who support my work on the podcast:   Abi Hunter, Alex, Alex Lee, Alice Kemp, A-M, Amy Adler, Anika Lacerte, Annette, Annie, Anya Nebl, Aubrey Brand, B Martinez, Barbara, Basia, Becca Lee, Becky Beasley, Ben Davies, Beth Kelly Herbert, Bobbi Sue, Caprice, Carly, Caroline, Cat Preston, C M, Claire Gerard, Corinne Cariad, Corrine L. McDermid, Dana, Dana Bradley, Danielle Warby, Danielle Wrench, Daphna Epstein, Deanna M. Counts Goldy, Deidre Stark, Dennis McNulty,, Eleanor Goulding, Em, Emma Franks, Erica Kenworthy, Erin Mazow, Evgeniia Pupysheva, Ewan McNeill, Frederike, Galina, George Cole, H.B, Hannah Breslin, Heather Peake, Helen Anne Hooker, Helen Crosby, Helen Delaney, Holly Knight-Smith, India, Ingrid, Jackie Allen, Jane, Janice, Jennifer Romanello, Jess Dwyer, Julie, Julie Goldberg, Karen, Karin Parker, KatF, Kate, Kathryn, Katharine Richards, Katherine Meizel, Katie, Ken K, Laura, Laura, Laurin Aman, Lilli Simmons, Lisa, Lisa Joy Powley, Lisa Williams, Liz, Liz P, Lula Cork, Maggie Dodd, Mandy Allen, Marjory Webber, Meg c, Melissa Shaw, Meredith L. Freyre, Mindy Wigzell, Monica Toohey, N, NC, Nicola Neil, Rebecca, Rebecca Biegel, Sadie Slater, Sandra Carey, Sandra Chapman, Sandra Rensman, Sandy Klarsten, Sandy Ladkin, Sarah Jeffrey, Sarah LW, Sarah Musgrave, Sarah Raine, Sarah Whitehead, Shelia Smith, Siobhan, Sophie King, Talia's Nature,Tris, Vicki Temple, Victoria Jeffrey and Zans McLachlan.   If you're enjoying the Squarepeg podcast and would like to help me carry on making new episodes, you can become a member of the Squarepeg community on Patreon from £3 per month: https://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast